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horrible hair disaster

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newporthottie22 View Drop Down
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    Posted: June 14 2004 at 12:21pm
recently I had get my 5 inch hair cut short (about 2 inches) due to a haircolor disaster. It is now 2 inches all over with orange and brown highlights (horrible) My husband does nothing but tell me I look like a boy and makes me cry all the time. I used to be a model and now I feel sooo ugly. I want to go shorter (like charlize theron in The Astronaughts Wife) and get it all blonde. It would be shorter, but it would at least look normal. But I am soooo scared of going even shorter because of my husband. I dont know how awful he will make me feel. I am stuck.
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JerkyFlea View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JerkyFlea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2004 at 12:30pm
Hiya NPH,

I'm sure you don't look like a boy and your hubby is just being insensitive to how badly you actually feel about this. Don't worry, though, there is a solution out there. There are plenty of feminine (non-boyish) short cuts out there and going blonde could potentially help as well. I have a ton of style and celebrity pix I could pass along. Do you have a photo you could send me? That would help determine what would work with your face shape and hair texture. Otherwise, I can send you some general ideas to show you what I mean.

Let me know if I can help,
JF
jerkyflea@hairboutique.com
3 pm is simultaneously too late and too early to start anything.
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Bob S View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob S Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2004 at 3:27pm
Have a heart to heart talk about your hair with hubby. As a long hair lover, I can tell you that right now that he is thinking that his feelings matter not a whit to you. I thought Charlize looked great super short, but I'm one who likes some short looks on some women. I talk to guys who LOATHE cropped hair on all women, and sometimes one of the women they complain about is their own wife. Just telling you the truth here!
Just guessing, but some men resent the bait and switch of long when romancing, to short after marriage. And since most men don't express feelings well, his lashing out may be in lieu of expressing his inner thoughts. Insist he talk about them, and see if you can come to an understanding. It can't hurt. Good luck! Bob
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HOTSAUCE Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2004 at 4:54pm
First of all I'm sure your hair looks cute that short and for your husband,don't pay him no mind and don't let it make you cry because he need to go somewhere with that talking about you look like a boy...please. But yeah if you just don't like the color then you should just dye it another color and keep it that length if you like it.If not just let it grow out.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rod Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2004 at 5:44pm
There was no bait and switch here. She cut it because of a hair disaster. It wasn't about her husband's feelings, since the cut wasn't a choice. He's being insensitive. And that's going to hurt.

But there is a solution, besides getting a hot short haircut. Where more make-up and girlier clothes. Often, when a haircut feels less feminine, it helps self-esteem to compensate. And your husband won't see you as boyish. Keri Russell talked about this when she cut her hair short.
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newporthottie22 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newporthottie22 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2004 at 7:20pm
I just want to thank everyone for the replies!! It makes my day a lot brighter!!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote miss brenda Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 14 2004 at 11:02pm
People who think that short hair looks "boyish" or "unfeminine" are basically living in the stone age.
For how many decades have women been wearing short hair now? Ever noticed how many women have short hairstyles these days. Many do obviously.

I got as much attention from men when I cut my hair very short as I ever did with long hair. Not all men are idiots.

I agree with person who mentioned dressing feminine and wearing earrings, makeup, etc. to compliment your short hairstyle.
The short blonde pixie you mentioned is adorable, most normal men would think so too.
I say go for it girl!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kuroneko Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2004 at 1:58am
Go through magazines and cut out pics of all the most beautiful celebs in their shortest cuts. Assemble them on a poster, and use them for inspiration whenever he's making you feel unattractive. Bleh, it might also be useful as a test to him, to show him the poster, and if he says all those gorgeous celebs look like boys, too, you know he's a hopeless case and not worth your time :-P .
More awesome than a manatee!
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Bob S View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob S Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2004 at 4:28pm
I don't believe it's "stone age" thinking when a guy hates short hair on women. Some men hate long hair, too. It's whatever turns you on.
I understand that the short cut was the result of bad coloring, but the choice for 2" hair, and thinking of going shorter may be more than DH can stand. 5" is rather short, also.
There's no rhyme or reason, (though I think most people recognize beauty in long hair), but long tresses are an incredible turn on for many guys. Just my hunch, but I'll bet the hair was much longer while dating. Everyone gets older, but the sacrifice of long hair is a decision that some men cannot understand, and sometimes resent.
When my wife had short hair, she wore it in a style that I liked. It may not have been as exciting as her long hair, but at least my input mattered. And, her length is back now, hopefully for keeps this time. She's the best! (lol) Bob
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote miss brenda Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2004 at 8:57pm
Bob, I assume you are intelligent.
This is the SHORT HAIR BOARD. The whole reason they set up this board is for people who like short hairstyles or like to wear short hair.

I, for one, am offended by your comments that when dating the woman probably had long hair.

That's offensive to women who wear short hair and like it and the men who like women in short hair.
If you are going to make such comments, why don't you make them on the long hair board, and not be condescending to those of us who like short hairstyles.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote newporthottie22 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 16 2004 at 2:09pm
BoB S you are truly ignorant!! You must have some mental problems if you think its fun to rub ones disaster in their face. By the way my hair wasn't long when we were dating- I am 22 years old and have had short hair since I could remember. I dont like the feeling of having knots on my back. So next time think before you post somthing that proves your utter ignorance. You are a certified DOG.
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arch94 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote arch94 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 16 2004 at 2:51pm
You tell him Hottie!

Sounds a bit long hair nazi-ish to me.

My two cents.
We all know what opinions are like...and I've got both!
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Bob S View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob S Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 16 2004 at 3:29pm
OK, Hottie, I'm twice your age. (44) I was remiss in not saying that your hubby's comments are inappropriate and cruel. Nowhere did I make fun of your coloring "disaster". The fact that you've always had short hair makes your DH's words all the more bewildering. I'n not into sarcasm, but apparently he is.
It is a fact that many women cut their hair, much to their husband's chagrin, after the wedding is history. I know many. By speculating, I was trying to understand from where your hubby's caustic remarks stemmed.
Oh, and it is NOT a bad thing for a woman to cut her hair short. Women should understand, however, that to some men, long hair is their biggest turn on. Apologies from a "dog" who wishes he was a cat! (lol) Bob
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Brent E from San Francisco View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Brent E from San Francisco Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 16 2004 at 7:49pm
Bob:

That's cool that you prefer long hair on women, but Brenda's point is well taken, this is the Short hair board not the Long hair board. The women who post here wear short hair and I'm sure believe they are attractive with short hair.
I personally love attractive short hair on beautiful women.
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Hal View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hal Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 17 2004 at 7:12am
Bob would have been kicked out o here long ago if he treated long haired people the way he treats short haired people. Double standard?
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arch94 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote arch94 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 17 2004 at 8:11am
Amen Hal...we don't have a "night watchmen" here at the short hair board like they have over at the long hair board. Double Standard? You bet!

My two cents.
We all know what opinions are like...and I've got both!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveDecker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 19 2004 at 7:56am
Originally posted by Hal Hal wrote:

Bob would have been kicked out o here long ago if he treated long haired people the way he treats short haired people. Double standard?

and
Originally posted by arch94 arch94 wrote:

Amen Hal...we don't have a "night watchmen" here at the short hair board like they have over at the long hair board. Double Standard? You bet!

I keep an eye on many of the boards here -- when I can. Lately that hasn't been as much as I'd like.

People are only "kicked off" the boards if they are abusive (personal attacks) or extremely vulgar. IMO Bob is merely foolish to post some of what he writes here. Your arguments against those statements suffice as rebuttal... don't you think?

Besides, I recall a number of posts from you (arch) on the long hair board which I allowed to stay and which were clearly not supportive of long hair. There is no double standard.
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Bob S View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bob S Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 19 2004 at 12:25pm
BTW, Katie e-mailed me, and we came to an understanding (and I hope friendship) off the boards. She is truly a sweetheart, and I think she now knows from where I was coming. Best, Bob
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