Help a guy out!-first color went bad

Hi,

I went for my first true permanent coloring yesterday. I didn't get what I wanted, and don't think I like what I got. My natural colour is medium brown, maybe med-dark brown. The sides have maybe 20% gray. I've done Just for Men in the past to cover them. Worked fine. I decided I wanted to go for a change, go lighter, quite a bit lighter, but NOT surfer/yellow/bleached-looking. I did some research and figured that my pale/fair complexion and blue-grey eyes called for a cooler/ashy color. Oh yeah, my natural brown has red tones in it I guess.

Ok, I wanted to go blonde. She said my natural was about a 5 and I pointed to color samples in a book that were like a 7 to 8 in an ASH range. So I was talking about wanting a sandy blonde, dark to medium ash blonde....not gold, not yellow, not orange, not warm, etc. I mentioned wanting the grays to be covered up also. We consulted for like 20 minutes and I felt we were on the same page.

Anyways, she started doing foils and painting bleach on. Remember I'm a newbie so I figure she knew what shes doing. At one point while she was getting to the last foils I asked what foiling does as compared to just putting the color all over the hair, she said it allows the natural darker color to come through for accent. Hmm, well I guess that will be a nice subtle accent to the ash blonde I wanted. She finished foiling and said wait 20 minutes. Then she did a toner do apparntely cut the gold out of the highlights. I think the toner covered the grays and made the non-foiled hair kinda blackish. So then she is finsihing up saying how it's nice and warm (huh? ash is not warm..i wanted ash remeber, to cut the red), she styles it, then I go kinda silent..hmm...I start playing with it in the mirror. I said it seems to still have a lot more dark then I expected. She took me to the window to get some daylight for a different perspective. I knew it wasn't what I wanted, but maybe I'll like it I thought. She asked if I liked it (as she was rushing to get her next client started). I kinda said.well I think so, maybe just takes getting used to.

Anyways, wnet home, looked in mirror. Hate it. You knowthe 'tiger' ice cream? That's my head, just the orange is a bit more gold/yellow/ the back looks patchy. I called an lefty a message (closed by now) in a totally friendly way just that if they could get the stylist to give me a call cuz I just had a few questions about the color. she never called all day so I called again and receptionist said the stylist has already left for the day. Now I'm a little perterbed. She said she would have her call me tomorrow and asked if there was a problem. I just said I think the color needs fixing, but was really friendly about it, not mad at all. I'm still not mad at all. As long as she calls so we can chat about what happened and how to resolve it. I trust she will stand behind her work and fix it.

Is it possible to fix this? Without killing my hair? Hair seems ok, a bit dry from the bleach, but scalp feels fine. First time I've ever bleached. Can we still get to my target dark or medium ash blonde? If not what can we do? I think she should have done all over blonde and left the bleach longer, then done the ash blond after the bleach. Will that have also covered/hid the grays? what should be done to fix it?

I paid good money and a decent tip for this too.

Sorry this is so long. Thanks for any help please!!

Dear Zen,

So sorry to hear of your hair coloring challenges.  Unfortunately you did everything right and still had a bad experience.  And unfortunately this does happen a lot more often than it should.  Don't get me wrong, I am very pro hairdresser and hair colorist but hair color can be very tricky.  In fact, Jessica Simpson, when she was making the video in the waterfall with her husband Nick, had her color turn green because of a bad reaction with the water.  So it happens to many, even those with the best colorists...and Jessica goes to the very best...Rita Hazan of New York.

Anyway, calling right away was excellent.  And being polite was excellent.  However, now it is time to accelerate to the next step.  I would recommend either peronsally dropping into the salon right away and asking for 5 minutes with either the stylist or the manager/owner of the salon.  Salons, stylists and salon managers do respond much better to polite...please help me requests...then less polite...fix it now.  It is just human nature.  I see that all the time from both sides of the fence.

However, it is important to be assertive that you want it fixed and fixed immediately because it is impeding your ability to live your life.

There are several reasons for this. 

1.  It has been proven that if you can get to the new color in the first 72 or so hours, it is easier to adjust than later.  So it is always best to call right away.

2.  Continue to be polite but be assertive and tell the stylist that you are unhappy.  It is nice to try and not hurt anyone's feeling but in reality you have to walk around with the hair you don't like.  If you are uncomfortable with that approach, take a buddy or a good female friend that can speak up on your behalf to help the stylist realize how serious you are about getting this fixed.

3.  If you don't get results from the stylist, go one step up to the manager or the owner of the salon.  If the stylist owns the salon, then don't give up until you get the results that you feel comfortable with.

Keep in mind that sometimes, for a number of reasons too numerous to go into in this forum, hair color doesn't come out the way you like.  It is awesome that you went to see the colorist to try a new color and that you didn't try to tackle something as complicated at home (many do and then there are worse problems).  However, sometimes hair doesn't lift as light as it should to get a color that is planned, or the colors don't work out exactly as the colorist planned.

Whatever the reasons....the answer is that your hair color can be fixed.  There are a couple of options that the stylist could utilize but it may not be possible in one session, to get you to your dream color.  Sometimes it can take 2-3 sessions with color to gradually achieve just the right tones and shadings.

The new approach in the color world is to do a lot of light/dark contrasting, which may explain her approach.  However, if it doesn't work for you, please tell her that you want to look like you just stepped in from an entire summer at the beach or even better, take photos with you of men with hair color you like.

Finally....IF...you do not receive results here are you options:

1.  If you paid by credit card and they are unwilling to work with you to help you get the color corrected....tell them nicely...after all else has failed because threats often have the opposite result....that you will file a chargeback request on your credit card.

2.  If you paid by check, tell them you will stop payment on the check.  Again...after all else has failed.

3.  If you paid by cash, tell them you will file a complaint with the State Board of Cosmetology (which people can do for poor cosmetology services) or some other appropriate Hairdresser Group that monitors Hairdresser ethics and customer care.

Yes...you can also call the Better Business Bureau...but guess what.  That will not help you all that much.  Trust me, I run a business and I know these things.

But you can get results from the chargeback IF and only IF you do try first to resolve the situation.  Most credit cards will not just issue a chargeback w/out investigating and hearing both sides BUT if you write everything down, that will help a lot with your case.

I would suggest that if you try to get an adjustment and they refuse or ignore you, that you send a certified letter listing the facts of the case so that if you do file a chargeback request or send a complaint to the State Board...that you have documented proof that you attempted to work the situation out.

Finally, I am so sorry to hear that you had to experience this.  It is very unfortunate.   However, I commend you on trying to be polite and courteous.  I see so many people that could easily have their situation fixed quickly be rude, obnoxious and threatening and it always backfires on them.  So you are definitely taking the right approach on that front.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes,
Karen Shelton
HairBoutique.com

Dear Zen,

You are welcome.

I figured that if you could get the stylist's attention...they would work with you.  Especially since you were being so nice about it.  Most colorists/stylists/professionals will be a lot more receptive to helping when the customer is firm...but nice...and tells them what they want.  In your case, you just wanted it to be fixed...so you did great.

As far as the brassiness in the back....pick up some Aveda, Paul Mitchell, Mine or Rene Furterer colored shampoo in a Blue Malva or similar shade. 

It might be called Blue Malva (Aveda), Blue Monday (Mine)  http://mp.hairboutique.com/product.asp?ProdID=100481&Ctg ID=or Blonde Mask (Rene F) http://mp.hairboutique.com/product.asp?ProdID=107317&Ctg ID=107492 or similar.  It will be a "color" shampoo for helping to tone down brassy blonde tones.  Phytotargent from Phyto will also brighten and pull out the whiter tones.  You can read about the product and ingredients at: http://mp.hairboutique.com/product.asp?ProdID=100697&Ctg ID=

I have used all of the above.  I love ARTec products but I do not recommend their color shampoos because they are color depositing which means they MAY alter your hair color.  So this should be left to a color expert.

I like the Phyto and the Aveda (http://www.aveda.com) and the Rene Furterer but Paul Mitchell products are very good as are Mine.  So whatever appeals to you and what works for your budget.

Any of these shampoos will tone down the brassiness and the gold tones.  You do NOT want to go with a Chamomile though...go with a blue malva or a product that is designed to bring out the white.  You are trying to minimize gold and pop out the whites.

As far as liking it as you go...this is typical.  It can take new hair color up to 80 hours to start to settle in.  That is why I was so insistent that you go back right away before the color really settled. By about the 2nd week, especially is you use the color shampoos and/or masks and related color products, you will notice a gradual softening.

A secret:  Some colorists will actually go a little too light or bright on purpose because they know that in 2 weeks the color will settle somewhat and the last thing they want is their clients to come back in 2 weeks and say.....well where is my new hair color that I spent so much money for.  So they may overcompensate a little at the beginning to make sure the color lasts.

The way you can do the ultra pale is to go with very carefully place highlights around your faceline.  That way, the colorist/stylist can give you one base color that might be a light to medium blonde and then weave 2 levels lighter, up to a very pale blonde around your face and in a sunburst pattern radiating from your crown.  The advantage to this approach is that you have the really white BUT not all over.  I would definitely work towards this.  If your stylist is talented with foils be sure to talk this over as an option.

Then you can go ultra pale in small doses to accent your skin and eyes.

I just was at a makeover session where a woman with overbleached hair came in and they corrected her from really brassy white to a soft light golden blonde but then did 4 different sets of highlights and lowlights.  It was amazing how gorgeous the color turned out and the very lightest, around her face and crown was very pale.

As far as drying out your hair...that is expected.  So you should do a couple of things to help maintain the moisture and thus prevent overly dry hair.

1.  Use a color shampoo as mentioned above but DILUTE it.  Dilute it approximately 1 part shampoo to 3-4 parts warm water.  I use a sterile clean short Evian bottle and put 1 teaspoon of shampoo into a full bottle of warm water and then shake.  I drizzle the shampoo formula over my head and then pat the suds gently down the length of my hair.  That allows the shampoo formula to pick up dust and debris without drying my hair in the process.

OR

2.  Shampoo with color conditioner ONLY.  Skip the shampoo and wash with condition.  It will remove dust/debris, help with the brassiness AND soften your hair.

3.  Shampoo only with lukewarm water.  Colored hair fades very fast in hot water.  Yeah, I know hot feels great but keep the water off your hair.  :-)

4.  Do only 1 shampoo or 1 conditioner/shampoo and then do a rinse-out conditioner.  The color ones are good.  The Mine Company makes a shampoo (Blue Monday), conditioner and styling product all in a Blue Malvalike fromulate.  Or go with a product created for colored hair like PhytoJojoba and dilute it and then use Phytosesame for the rinse out.  It has lots of great oils and will soften well.

5.  Towel blot and then if you don't want waves, make a styling cocktail of 1 part leave in cream like Phyto 9 or Phyto 7 (the 9 is heavier because of Macademia oils) and then use a flat brush and blow dry straight on COLD air.  Hot air from a blow dryer fades the blonde faster.  Cold air will not impact the color nearly as much, if at all. 

Don't worry about frying your hair.  If your colorist uses foils & chemicals properly and you do the proper aftercare like using good conditioning products and avoid hot styling tools as much as possible, your hair could be fine.

As far as going back to your natural med-dark brown.  It is always easier to go from light to dark.  You could probably even do that at home.  However, I would recommend that you try a demi-perm color. It would be better to have the stylist take you back to brown because she could figure out what your base colors are and whether you might pull green with certain shades of brown.  OR you could call the toll free consumer hot line for the hair color companies like L'Oreal and tell them your current color.

Ditto with darker blonde.  It is much easier to go darker than lighter.

Finally, the reason that people with really white white bleached hair tend to wear it short is because it looks more striking when hair is bleached white and short AND hard core bleach can really damage your hair and scalp over time.  So better to do it for awhile, keep hair short and then let it grow out and go with a darker color.

If you can afford to go to the stylist and you can learn to get her to work well with you via communication about your goals so that you both really are on the same page...I would recommend that approach before recommending at home coloring.

Good luck and enjoy your new color.