Jenny, Traci, I wanted to answer you.
I can tell you what happened with me, because what you're asking for is a long term answer, right? Will this be ok in the long run or no. I'm in my 40s. I can answer for me, and you all can see what you think.
My mom always wanted a girl. She had five boys. I was the last. Like Nathan I had long blonde hair. It was curly though, and light, and shiny. Women would stop and coo at the grocery store, pet, and it wasnt long before all the attention I got was from women who loved it, just like some of you all. Dad was distant and hostile, very 50s male. Hair and curls were associated with comfort, men were associated with growls and hostility.
So it occured for a family picture that mom curled my hair and got me two tone patent leather shoes, and a little sailor outfit. Longggg blonde curls cascading down my 3 year old neck, never been cut. Carefully trained, and painfully suited to the day. It was really something! Dad was upset, and I got cut the next week.
So in grade school because of the conflict I tried desperately to tame it by putting a stocking cap on wet hair at night, however, mom would take it off at midnight, and even if I was successful at avoiding her, it turned into flat pin curls, which my grandmother adored when we stayed over. I had to have my stocking cap. It was futile. Curly girls know how frustrating it is to get them to go the way you want.
And I began to realize again how amazing blonde curls were in high school, but still, having them was delicious, conflicted and forbidden. It was kept short until I knew how fascinating hair was, and in grad school I grew it out, living on my own, with little money. I experimented with color, going lighter mostly, but sometimes light brown or strwberry. That was tremendously fun.
Mostly for that time of experiment with myself though there were curls. Irons, big rollers, siliconizing things to straighten it, 5 inch boar brush, hot air....I could make it as straight as I wanted, or swoopy like Marilyn. Like other guys I ponytailed it, and would also french braid. It was tamed that way, and it would come out at night into fantastic waves. I got good. It was really wonderful actually. I played guitar, I became sensitive again.
A few things came of this trend.
First, I became fascinated with hair. I worship hair. I love it. I want to pet it all the time. I am good with it. Someday maybe I'll get a license to cut. In the strip joint for bachelor parties I even ask the ladies /not/ to take off anything, just please sit with me and rest while I pet their hair. Most oblige. This is brave of me, and they always ask a second time if I'm sure, so it must be really rare to them. Most think thats odd. I dont care.
Second, lots and lots of women rejected me. They dont understand like some here do. I've been told I had "amazingly little chemistry as a guy", am 'boring', etc, however this is always from straight hetero women in the archetypal gender roles. Many times, I would let the urge to be feminine go until they would discover the stash of hair toys, and then, overnight, they would completely dry up to me and we would be over. Its simply not exciting to most. This has been extremely hurtful and painful. Its not that I'm unattractive, either, over six feet, a marathoner with good 200 pound chest press...I'm handsome and many have said so, to be honest.
Third, I have sensitivies that are shocking to most women. I notice clothing, and style and smells. Its fascinating. I know how long it takes to prep for a date. I know hair colors and treatments, and all the relevant straightening and curling. Its so much fun. I understand, I'm easy to relate to. This has caused more crushes than I care to admit, but usually by needy misunderstood women, and not the smart pretty high functioning ones.
Last, I really have to watch this. People are fascinated by it, but a lot also have hostility and judgment. Its dangerous. You can get your tail beaten if its not halloween, for the way you present yourself. Even killed, if you live in Wyoming. Its dangerous. I cant underscore this enough. Women have left behind skirts a long time ago, but men cant have long blonde flowing curls. I will, as I expect, get abuse for this, but I dont care anymore, because clearly those people dont care about me. I have come to trust a few wonderful women with it. Its private. Whatever people believe should or shouldnt be, society cant deal. Thats the reality. No one wants to see it, thats my impression.
So I give you this: If a boy wants to, make sure he understands whats at risk. I for one and completely envious of Nathan, I want desperatley to be him or meet someone like you, and I sit here shaking at the keyboard after reading this thread. Salons and curls and long hair are wonderfully fantastic things. I wish wish wish for it for myself, but it will never ever happen. My hairline is receding and that time is over. For now, I'll live in my regular job, with my regular haircut, wearing regular clothes, and make me way in this world just fine. I have a great job and things work fine as long as I dont rufle the feathers of perennially conservative business owners.
Why do you all want to do this to boyfreinds? I would suspect that if any guy wanted it, or asked for it, the draw from you could instantaneously go away. Then he would not be as male, he would be truly effeminate. I also suspect that its only fun if theres some complaining on his part. Is this so? Just curious. Please answer.
I cant help but tell you how brave these guys are to let you at them. There more amazing that way than girls know. They dont know how much it takes. Thank you all for understanding that.
C
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TMortis wrote:
