QuoteReplyTopic: Your Two Cents Posted: July 26 2006 at 8:57pm
People like to throw in their two cents. If someone asks you, "do you think I should cut my hair," by all means give your opinion. If they ask whether they'd look good if they grew their hair out or colored it blond, tell them what you think.
When someone says, "I'm getting my hair cut short on Wednesday," where in there are they inviting opinion? They aren't. So, why do people feel a need to offer it? What's worse are those who say, "Don't do it. I cut mine short and I regret it." I'm sorry. When did it become about you? Just because you regret it doesn't mean she will.
Of course the same can apply for growing hair out. "I'm growing my hair long" doesn't invite "but it looks so good short." Or coloring it. If someone posts in the Short Hair Forum, they aren't looking for someone to tell them not to cut their hair.
The only person who has a right to throw in their unsolicited opinion is the significant other. Yet, I see this on message boards and off line.
When someone says, "I'm getting my hair cut short on Wednesday," where in there are they inviting opinion? They aren't.
That's literally true. However, a statement like "I'm going to cut my hair," although a statement, if uttered out of the blue, does invite discussion. If you disagree, then what is the purpose of the person saying it?
So, why do people feel a need to offer it?
Imagine this. You're sitting down at coffee with a friend and you ask, "So, what's new?" She answers, "Nothing much except that I'm going to cut my hair short." You say nothing at all. I think a lot of women (and men) would probably interpret that silence as if you can't say something nice, then say nothing at all. If you do think it's a good idea, you'll probably say something like, "Really? I'll bet you'll look great." But saying nothing at all is very awkward and suggests that you disapprove.
What's worse are those who say, "Don't do it. I cut mine short and I regret it."
I agree completely. Many women do ask, "I'm thinking of cutting my hair, but I'm not sure. What do you think?" then it's completely different, of course.
If someone posts in the Short Hair Forum, they aren't looking for someone to tell them not to cut their hair.
It depends on the post. Many ask if they should cut it.
The only person who has a right to throw in their unsolicited opinion is the significant other.
Opinions run both ways, positive and negative. A lot of people get their self-esteem from those compliments, but I think it's kind of sad.
If someone says they're going to cut their hair, encourage them. Even if you don't think they should. They've made the decision already. If they ask for advice, then be more honest.
If someone says they're going to cut their hair, encourage them. Even if you don't think they should.
That could backfire, though. Personally, what I'd do is support their choice, not the actual cutting/growing. The reason is that if the result doesn't turn out the way they wanted, even though the decision was theirs, they can't blame you for the outcome!
For instance, if a friend says she is going to grow her hair longer, and she later regrets it, she may remember you encouraging not her choice, but your encouragement of the actual growing. And, of course, the same applies to cutting the hair. If you tell her that you think she'll look great (especially if you think otherwise), and even though she's made the choice herself, if she later regrets the decision, she'll remember that you encouraged the cut.
Encouraging and empowering the person to make their own decision isn't the same as encouraging the action.
Debbie
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Hi Rod! That is the reason that I donot tell anyone or ask their opinions about my hair. I wear my hair the way that I want to wear it and that is that. But I also believe that you should listen to that person and encourage them in any way that you can. After all the final descision (sp) is theirs and I would let them know that any thing that they decide on, good or bad, that THEY made the choice. They have no body to blame (?) but themselves. I hope this makes sense! LOL! Is this what you mean by the question that you presented? Debbie
There is more to life than hair...Come on---Go get a life!!!!!!!
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Rod wrote:
