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Is Loving Long Hair A Fetish or Not?

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Miles View Drop Down
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    Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:44pm
There is so much controversy about this hair topic.What do you all think? Is there a clear distinction between what is a fetish and what is sick or addictive behavior?Fetish seems to have a "sick meaning to it". Is loving long hair sick?Isn't loving long hair just one aspect of how people express themselves or what they find sexy or attractive? Is that bad? Is that a fetish.This topic makes my blood boil.Miles
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HAIRLUV View Drop Down
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> MilesI would have to say you are one sick puppy. What gives you the right to condemn anothers passion. Just because something besides beautiful hair turns you on about a women does not mean that those who are different then you, are sick and evil. Damn you and your just an expression. Do you think all these sites exist because hair is just an expression...dah! Give me a woman with beautiful soft silky hair and I am in heaven. I suggest if hair is just an expression to you, then go spend your time at the site where your passion lies...Breast, eyes, fingernails, ears, butts, feet, toes, legs, noses. I have a fetish for hair Miles, many of the women I know, love me because I love thier hair.....now isn't that sick. NOT
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Dave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:44pm
Dear HAIRLUV,I didn't read Miles' post the same way you did.I think he asked some very good questions.I would agree with him that society (inappropriately) seems toview the concept of fetish with some amount of contempt. And Iwould agree with him that long hair is a form of self-expression,and that people find it sexy and/or attractive on those who have it."Is it bad?" It is neither good nor bad. It just is."Is that a fetish?" Depends.HAIRLUV, I don't believe Miles was saying that anybody was sickor evil.It may not be my place to suggest, but... your reply to Milesseemed a rather personal attack. I think the board's owners,Karen and Jeff, would prefer that we try to be civil when wedisagree.Dave
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Miles View Drop Down
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This is a board for discussion and for contemplation.I happen to personally love long hair on women and was just asking for comments. Long hair happens to be a passion of mine. So you attacked me when basically I am in agreement.What makes my blood boil is that my love of long hair is seen as a fetish and evil. I don't agree. I was looking for a discussion on this and not an attack for loving long hair.I found your attack of my discussion comment odd since I happen to love long hair on women as much as you express that you do.Miles> I would have to say you are one sick puppy. What gives> you the right to condemn anothers passion. Just> because something besides beautiful hair turns you on> about a women does not mean that those who are> different then you, are sick and evil. Damn you and> your just an expression. Do you think all these sites> exist because hair is just an expression...dah! Give> me a woman with beautiful soft silky hair and I am in> heaven. I suggest if hair is just an expression to> you, then go spend your time at the site where your> passion lies...Breast, eyes, fingernails, ears, butts,> feet, toes, legs, noses. I have a fetish for hair> Miles, many of the women I know, love me because I> love thier hair.....now isn't that sick. NOT
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HAIRLUV View Drop Down
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>HAIRLUV, I don't believe Miles was saying that anybody>was sick or evil.Dave, Miles talks about his blood boiling, well that's the reaction I get every time someone throws this topic out on every forum that exist. Over and over and over..It is like a crusade. Who are you and Miles fearful of, is there some attractive women out there that is ready to pass judgement on the both of you because she beleives you are fetishist. Do you feel you a being unfairly associated with the buzzum bald boys, well my friends that is another "type" of fetish. Every vegetable is not a squash. Every fruit is not an apple. Every fetishist is not a hair despoiler(cutter, destroyer)> It may not be my place to suggest, but... your reply> to Miles seemed a rather personal attack.Your right Dave, it is not your place to suggest. I do not know Miles and I do not know you. It would be a personal attack perhaps if I did. I will not apologize if my intensity freightens you. Miles should expect and be prepared to except extreme critizism for Dumping this tired and battered topic out for discussion. All it serves to do is bolster confusion as apposed to fostering understanding.
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Dawn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dawn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:44pm
Ok, I can't resist. I didn't join in about the mustaches and beards (which I adore!) but this one is too much. Its an issue that pops up on a private long hair e-mail list every once in a while and I struggled with putting my two cents worth in the last time it did, but I just can't control myself now so here goes.First of all to Hairluv's responses, all one can really say is: HUH??!! What?But the real issue here is that words can be powerful. Some words are loaded. Any high school literature student can tell you that there is not only one meaning to a word, and I don't mean that there may be more than one definition, as in the word fetish, I mean that along with many definitions, words have denotations, their exact dictionary typedefinitions, and they have connotations too, the subtle,underlying meaning that, right or wrong, people place oncertain words or phrases. Fetish is just such a loaded word and its use insinuates a desire to shock or provoke. Itsconnotation is always sexual and always alluding to sexuality in the most "alternative" terms. I point to New World's definition,fetish: 1. any object believed by superstitious people to have magical power 2. any thing or activity to which one is irrationally devoted 3. any non sexual object such as a foot or a glove that abnormally excites erotic feelings.Note the use of the words, irrationally devoted and abnormally excites. These are the keys. Fanaticism of any kind is rarely harmless, its is emotionally unhealthy, myopic, and detrimental to the person as a whole because it dictates and permeates all aspects of their life. It makes life lopsided, seen only through the prism of the obsession. A whole person has many sides and can move from one toanother without for example letting his lust corrupt his ability to carry on a conversation, or letting intellectual analysis dampen his lust. A simple choice of words can matter a great deal.Here's an example. I love plants and flowers, truly, madly,deeply, love them. I love the velvet hairs of bearded iris, the deep colored throats of gladiolas, the intoxicating scents of all the herbs. This is an aesthetic love, very much a sensual love, but if I were to write my horticultural list and refer to my adoration of flowers as a fetish it would immediately conjure up some potentially ugly images and perhaps even an ooo, gross, did I have to put it like that. My use of the word would be an obvious attempt to interject sexuality (rather than sensuality) into the discussion, just as the use of the word here does. Itstitillating, openly controversial, a means to elicit shock or outrage.At other more serious "fetish" forums what appears here as highly charged material would probably be deemed almost wholesome compared to the other activities being discussed there. In the "real" fetish community a compulsion for hair is quite a tame subject. Because something becomes a fetish when it crosses the line of rationality. Here's another example. I adore long thick walrus mustaches and long thick full beards, to the point actually where I can't remember ever going out with a man that didn't sport some serious facial hair. I can't imagine my husbands kisses without the gently caress of that marvelous stache, the luxurious feel of his beard on my neck. But its not just the hair itself that arouses me. I am not fixated on the hair, the moustache, the beard, per se, I am enraptured by the man who grows it, it being a potent symbol of his intense masculinity. Would I love the man without the hair? Well, yes, but that's a moot point because the man I love wouldn't care to be without his hair, any more than he would care to wear a necktie every day. Its the hair as part of him that I love, the expression of who he is inside. Yes, its exciting, yes its sexual, but its far, far more than that.By refering to such a lifelong love of hair as a fetish it in effect denigrates that love which in its complete state is aesthetic, emotional, spiritual, not merely sexual. To describe a love of long hair as a fetish is to limit it. When you say you have a hair fetish, you imply that hair only interests you in narrow sexual terms, its only appeal being its power to arouse sexual desire. If its more than that, why not just refer to it as such, a love of hair? If you insist on referring to it as a fetish you intentionally conjure up the connotations such verbiage evokes. You imply your interest falls merely within the limited panorama of sexual arousal, and you must then live with the inherent negativity of the word fetish including all its dark interpretations.Its just my opinion, I could be wrong.Best wishes to all!Dawn> There is so much controversy about this hair topic.> What do you all think? Is there a clear distinction> between what is a fetish and what is sick or addictive> behavior?> Fetish seems to have a "sick meaning to it".> Is loving long hair sick?> Isn't loving long hair just one aspect of how people> express themselves or what they find sexy or> attractive? Is that bad? Is that a fetish.> This topic makes my blood boil.> Miles
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HAIRLUV View Drop Down
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My fevered storm has been quelled by the placid calm of your elucidation. Why must you interject such profound rational and intellectual opinion? I do believe you attempt to provoke understanding. It is the sensuality aspect you elude to that accurately defines my sediments. Thank you Dawn.
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jj View Drop Down
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Two quick points on the subject....1. i am not so sure that the word fetish is such a loaded word. while people do use it in a derogatory fashion, it has passed into common usage as meaning strong interest in or "obsession"(along the lines of the 2nd dictionary meaning above) think about the diet cola ad where the woman is recording a dating service video and says she has "an out-of-control shoe fetish" - i sincerely doubt she is claiming a true sexual shoe fetish. one might light-heartedly refer to someone who really truly loves long hair as having a "fetish"2. it was always my understanding (from an ab. psych course) that the psychiatric definition of a sexual fetish was far more restrictive than the dictionary. fetishists are not just aroused by an object or body part as distinguished from an individual person, the desire is highly intrusive to normal functioning. in other words, a fetishist is aroused by something out of the norm, and often times is unable to sexually perform in the absense of that item. so a "hair fetishist" would be sexually aroused by the clippings on a beauty shop floor and also would have difficulty becoming aroused when there was no hair present.just some thoughts....
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Dave View Drop Down
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HAIRLUV,I'll be more clear. I think you and Miles are both upset for thesame or similar reason, that being that you both feel it is not fairor appropriate that those who have a certain level of appreciationfor long hair are accused of having a fetish. Further, I wouldimagine that both of you also feel that there is a negative stereotypeassociated with the concept of fetish, and I have noticed this of oursociety as well.As for the "buzzum" bunch, it is my opinion that there are a numberamong them who thrill to the destruction of a woman's beauty. I thinkit's sad.It's true that we haven't met "face to face." Should we ever, though,I already have quite an impression about you. Just because chances areslim that we might, though, does that mean that we shouldn't take carehow we treat others when we communicate in a forum such as this one?Also, the fact that Miles brought up the subject, and that it elicitedin you such a strong reaction seems to suggest that the topic may notyet be "tired and battered," but may instead need to be discussed, inthe hopes of gaining insight and understanding, by those who feel suchstrong emotions about the subject.I wish you well.Dave
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Erica View Drop Down
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This is strictly speaking for myself, and I don't know if others feel this way.I don't think there is anything wrong at all with liking and prefering long hair on a woman--or even a man for that matter. But I think it oversteps the bounds when long hair is the ONLY thing a man is interested in about a woman. That is what I think a fetish is. And I don't like when someone crosses that line because it is the woman beneath all the hair that should be important--ie her unique personality, her compassion, her thoughts, etc.--and not simply because she has long hair. By the way, the same goes for men who only like a woman because she has a nice butt, big boobs, etc. I guess I just think that having long hair should just be a "bonus!"I guess one of the reasons that it bothers me is long hair is not permanent, and there are a number of reasons why someone may lose it or cut it. (i.e. cancer) Also hair changes over time--becomes gray, more coarse, etc. So if it is strictly long hair that a man loves about a woman, will he gradually grow out of love when her hair changes? That would certainly scare me if I thought a man only loved my hair, and not me as a person. That is the problem I can see with a hair "fetish."Thanks for letting me share my thoughts on your question.
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Mike in TX View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mike in TX Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:46pm
Please indulge me, I'm dusting of my soapbox for a moment(with tongue firmly in cheek).Here is a fairly simple test to see whether you are a long hair "fetishist" (Yes, I dare to use the F word).A QUIZ1. Do you love (or like, prefer, desire, etc) long hair on women (or men)?2. Do you have normal relationships with other people?3. Have you had an intimate relationship with a significant other?4. Did that person have long hair?5. Have you ever been in an intimate relationship where your significant other cut their long hair short?6. If you answered question 5 "Yes", did you end the relationship immediately?7. Have you used long hair during an intimate sex act?8. Was the long hair attached to a person?9. Do you avoid persons with short hair?10. Have you never been aroused in a sexual manner by a short haired person?QUIZ Answer Key:1. If you answered "Yes" you are OK so far, (If you answered "No" why are you taking this quiz?2. If "Yes" you're still OK. If "No" consider counselling for bigger issues.3. If "yes" you're still OK, If "No" get thee to a party immediately.4. If "Yes" you're still normal, (I think). If "No" you can rest assured you don't have a long hair fetish.5. If "Yes" you are in the majority of people. If "No" you'll probably join the majority eventually.6. If "Yes" you may have a problem, seek counseling from a trusted individual. If "No" you're acceptably normal. If you answered this question after answering "No" to question 5, I recommend remedial reading.7. If "Yes" you are still probably OK, see next question. If "No" you may want to try it, but not as noted in the next question.8. If "Yes" you may be adventurous, but are still probably normal. If "No" you are a fetishist and may wish to seek counselling or moving to an unpopulated area.9. If "Yes" and you answered #8 "No" you definitely are confused, seek help. If "no" you're still OK.10. If "Yes" no problem here, you are not a long hair fetishist, by the most popular definitions. If "No", You are either a long hair fetishist or you are pre-pubescent and shouldn't be here.Summary:If you answered Yes to # 9 and "No to #'s 8 & 10, you may very well be a long hair fetishist, otherwise you're just a person with a preference in appearance, enjoy it and be happy that you are a unique individual, not the spawn of some "cookie-cutter" society.DISCLAIMERThe preceding post is intended as an entertaining diversion, the poster does not claim to have any formal phychological analysis training, except that earned from the school of life experience. This quiz is not intended to diagnose anything except whether the writer can be mildly amusing in a text format. The poster has a healthy preference and interest in long hair and wishes to reassure the readers that almost everyone who is engaging in communication with other human beings probably is not too far from the average in their interests, preferences and the like. Enjoy, be happy, live long and prosper.Mike
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Dave View Drop Down
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Great post, Mike!If you are the doctor, then I am certifiably fetish-free!(LOL)Dave
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:46pm
> Great post, Mike!> If you are the doctor, then I am certifiably> fetish-free!> (LOL)> DaveInteresting topic. I been accuse in my job by one co-worker once that said I had a hair fetish because I love long hair.I also love roses etc and she wouldn't have thought of saying I have a rose fetish lol.I would think someone would have a problem and could call it a fetish if they spent day and night thinking of it. Just my thoughts.
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