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Hair Cuts - The Dark Side

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Karen Shelton View Drop Down
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    Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:48pm
Hi everyone.....I have been reading all the posts below about Mandatory Waiting Periods for Hair and Short Hair is Not The End of the World.First I need to tell you all that even though he is "the man behind the curtain" for HB, Jeff is a very funny guy. He has a very dry and sharp wit. So I know that he was mostly kidding. Although I also know that he reads a lot of the email that comes into me at Hair Boutique and some of it is very sad and very tragic.I had one bride-to-be who had been growing her hair to her waist only to decide to "do something drastic" for her wedding. She went to a new salon and told them to "do something wonderful".They cut it to bob length and she cried for days. She seriously considered calling off the wedding and she told me in email that she would have to remember that horrible hair cut the rest of her life.....every time she looked at her wedding pictures. She said her husband-to-be was being very kind about it, but he had loved to brush and braid her beautiful previously long hair.I had very little to console her with. Her only options at that point was to wear a wig, get extensions or find a style that she could live with for her newly short hair. This was done on a complete whim.Second case in point. My massage therapist. She is a beautiful girl who used to have long blonde hair to her midback. About 1 month ago she showed up at my house and her hair was chopped to heck. I didn't say anthing and then she volunteered. She said, gosh I told them to make it look great...and instead it was uneven, layered to death and back and wouldn't do anything. Except stick up in odd places.Last week she showed up with hair that was about 1 inch long all around. This time she told them to even it out.I had nothing I could say to her at this point. If she asks them to cut any more, she will have no hair at all.This makes me so sad and so angry.So when someone says that there is nothing wrong with short hair. I agree. I have seem some gorgeous women with beautiful short cuts. But I suspect that they planned their hair to look that way and didn't go in with waist length hair and spontenaously emerge with chopped up bobs to their ears.A lot of stylists that specialize in long hair will NOT cut your hair more than a trim until you go home and think about it. The current long hair expert I have will not cut my hair more than a trim and usually a trim is 1/4th of an inch.I have read many emails to AskKaren & HB from heartbroken women that went into a salon for "something new and kewl" and emerged chopped to death and very very upset.Most women don't immediately get over it. If I could print some of my emails I think people could see that it can be a painful reminder for some time.I want to thank all of you for a great thread and for supporting Jeff and I here at Hair Boutique. We couldn't do it without you all and believe me, we do appreciate you all very much.Best wishes,Karen
That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger or drives you totally insane. :-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lurker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:48pm
> ....... Jeff is a very funny guy. He has a very dry and> sharp wit. So I know that he was mostly kidding.Well, then I accept then that it was intended to be a joke. But, I still think that it is wrong to equate a haircut with major surgery!> I had one bride-to-be who had been growing her hair to> her waist only to decide to "do something> drastic" for her wedding. She went to a new salon> and told them to "do something wonderful". They cut it to> bob length and she cried for days.That just was not very smart! One person's concept of "wonderful" may be another person's disaster! Obviously, this is what she perceived the outcome to be.But look, this woman was an adult, she made a decision to "do something drastic", then she did not give the stylist any specific instructions. What did she expect???Also, didn't the stylist give her ANY idea at all what was about to happen? What did this bride-to-be think when the stylist started cutting off many inches??? She probably had PLENTY of time to change her mind or tell the stylist not to cut that much hair!Sorry, but this is one of those cases that I just have to say the person got exactly what they wanted: a drastic change! If she chooses to "place blame", she has nobody to blame but herself. If she is a stable and normal person, she will look at those pictures in the future and think "I will never make that same judgment error again!"> She said her husband-to-be was being very kind about it,> but he had loved to brush and braid her beautiful> previously long hair.Well, if he really loves her, he will continue to love her. Just because she now has a bob haircut is no reason to get mad or disengage from the wedding.> Second case in point. My massage therapist. She is a> beautiful girl who used to have long blonde hair to> her midback. About 1 month ago she showed up at my> house and her hair was chopped to heck. I didn't say> anthing and then she volunteered. She said, gosh I> told them to make it look great...and instead it was> uneven, layered to death and back and wouldn't do> anything. Except stick up in odd places.Once again, the mistake is allowing the stylist to have total free reign to make the decision without even giving the stylist any concept of what she wanted. Simply telling the stylist to "make it look great" is just not the smart thing to do! The stytlist may like orange and blue crew cuts!> This makes me so sad and so angry.At who....the stylists in these two incidents did exactly what they were told to do!!! If you are mad at anyone, it should be the two women. In both cases, they bear all of the "blame" or responsibility for what happend to them!> So when someone says that there is nothing wrong with> short hair. I agree. I have seem some gorgeous women> with beautiful short cuts. But I suspect that they> planned their hair to look that way and didn't go in> with waist length hair and spontenaously emerge with> chopped up bobs to their ears.Look, both of these gals told the stylist to do whatever, and that is exactly what they got.The problem is that these two women DID NOT PLAN AT ALL....they merely told the stylists to do whatever. They did NOT "spontaneously emerge" with short hair, they sat in the chair while the stylist cut off their long hair, and never once tried to stop what was occuring!!!> A lot of stylists that specialize in long hair will> NOT cut your hair more than a trim until you go home> and think about it. The current long hair expert I> have will not cut my hair more than a trim and usually> a trim is 1/4th of an inch.You obviously HAVE PLANNED what you want, and have taken proper steps to see that what you have planned is what you will get. These two women did not!!!> I have read many emails to AskKaren & HB from> heartbroken women that went into a salon for> "something new and kewl" and emerged chopped> to death and very very upset.Hey, they wanted something "new" and that is what they got!MORAL: Plan ahead, DON'T tell the stylist to "just do whatever", and if the stylist looks like they are planning a massacre, walk out the door!
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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> Well, then I accept then that it was intended to be a> joke. But, I still think that it is wrong to equate a> haircut with major surgery!> That just was not very smart! One person's concept of> "wonderful" may be another person's> disaster! Obviously, this is what she perceived the> outcome to be.> But look, this woman was an adult, she made a decision> to "do something drastic", then she did not> give the stylist any specific instructions. What did> she expect???> Also, didn't the stylist give her ANY idea at all what> was about to happen? What did this bride-to-be think> when the stylist started cutting off many inches???> She probably had PLENTY of time to change her mind or> tell the stylist not to cut that much hair!> Sorry, but this is one of those cases that I just have> to say the person got exactly what they wanted: a> drastic change! If she chooses to "place> blame", she has nobody to blame but herself. If> she is a stable and normal person, she will look at> those pictures in the future and think "I will> never make that same judgment error again!"> Well, if he really loves her, he will continue to love> her. Just because she now has a bob haircut is no> reason to get mad or disengage from the wedding.> Once again, the mistake is allowing the stylist to> have total free reign to make the decision without> even giving the stylist any concept of what she> wanted. Simply telling the stylist to "make it> look great" is just not the smart thing to do!> The stytlist may like orange and blue crew cuts!> At who....the stylists in these two incidents did> exactly what they were told to do!!! If you are mad at> anyone, it should be the two women. In both cases,> they bear all of the "blame" or> responsibility for what happend to them!> Look, both of these gals told the stylist to do> whatever, and that is exactly what they got.> The problem is that these two women DID NOT PLAN AT> ALL....they merely told the stylists to do whatever.> They did NOT "spontaneously emerge" with> short hair, they sat in the chair while the stylist> cut off their long hair, and never once tried to stop> what was occuring!!!> You obviously HAVE PLANNED what you want, and have> taken proper steps to see that what you have planned> is what you will get. These two women did not!!!> Hey, they wanted something "new" and that is> what they got!> MORAL: Plan ahead, DON'T tell the stylist to> "just do whatever", and if the stylist looks> like they are planning a massacre, walk out the door!I have to ad to what Karen said. I have seen it many times in both cases when someone had long hair or when someone had short hair.I remember not very long ago a short hair woman from work decided that her hair was too long and decided to get it cut. Well we at work were looking forward seeing her with her new style. Well the next day she walked in like a bear , walked right past us like a tornado and slamed her office door. We all stood around staring at her door wondering if we should dare ask her about the hair style but noone was too too brave lolAnyways her best friend at work did knock at the office door and ask to see this style and boy did we hear her complain.She felt that the stylist cut it too short.Sometimes when we sit on that chair we imagine sometime so nice in our mind but it end up being a disaster. Heck we even show pictures that we would like to try.I can easily say when I had short hair boy oh boy did I ever come out of the stylist looking like a poodle at times and slaming doors and barking at my husband if he mention" gee your hair is okay". I thought I looked like hell lolNow that I have long hair do I ever guard with care and have eyes like an eagle to watch those scissors.Sometimes we think we would like something and the next day we change our mind. I guess that what makes us human.We are not perfect and for that reason that what makes a human being so interesting and funny to watch at times lolDiane
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lurker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:49pm
> I remember not very long ago a short hair woman from> work decided that her hair was too long and decided to> get it cut....She felt that the stylist cut it too short.This fits into my second catagory, the one where the stylist just does not do what is requested. In such a case, there is certainly a legitimate basis for complaint or hard feelings.This is certainly NOT the case in the two situations Karen mentioned in her original post in this thread. In those two cases the women foolishly told the stylists to just "do whatever", certainly a disaster waiting to happen!> Sometimes when we sit on that chair we imagine> sometime so nice in our mind but it end up being a> disaster. Heck we even show pictures that we would> like to try.Yeah, like what happened to my wife with her last haircut. She took a picture to the salon, and the guy still screwed it up. Her hair did not look anything like the picture at all! She did get over the bad haircut though. Now I cut her hair, we save money, and she trusts me to follow her wishes.> Sometimes we think we would like something and the> next day we change our mind.Yes, but this gives no realistic basis for being mad at anyone but yourself!!Having free will means taking responsiblity for your actions and desires, even if you later have second thoughts or dislike the outcome you desired at an earlier time.
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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> This fits into my second catagory, the one where the> stylist just does not do what is requested. In such a> case, there is certainly a legitimate basis for> complaint or hard feelings.> This is certainly NOT the case in the two situations> Karen mentioned in her original post in this thread.> In those two cases the women foolishly told the> stylists to just "do whatever", certainly a> disaster waiting to happen!> Yeah, like what happened to my wife with her last> haircut. She took a picture to the salon, and the guy> still screwed it up. Her hair did not look anything> like the picture at all! She did get over the bad> haircut though. Now I cut her hair, we save money, and> she trusts me to follow her wishes.> Yes, but this gives no realistic basis for being mad> at anyone but yourself!!> Having free will means taking responsiblity for your> actions and desires, even if you later have second> thoughts or dislike the outcome you desired at an> earlier time.Hey you ! You are tough lolHave a nice hair day
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Thankyou so much for saying this. I have long hair and love it. For this reason I would never go into a salon and say "I want something new an cool" if I really just wanted a trim. Salon customers need to take responsibility for their requests. I get annoyed when women seem to want to have their cake and eat it too when it comes yto hair. My heart goes out to those people who have had stylists directly defy there wishes but I do not feel sorry for those who give vague instructions and then are dissatisfied with the results.Also, I go to a college where long hair is very common. I see women (and men) go from long to short all the time and 90% of them are not upset about it. Look at Liv Tyler. She went from very long to very short and, in my opinion, looks great. Long hair is beautiful but there is nothing wrong with a change, subtle or dramatic, as long as the customer takes it upon themself to think about it before hand.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lurker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:49pm
> Hey you ! You are tough lol> Have a nice hair dayAh ha....obviously a very well thought-out intelligent response. Seems to indicate a high level of cognition going on within your brain! I wish MY mind were as sharp as yours obviously is!By the way, what does LOL mean? I always thought it means "Lots of Luck", but given the context in which you use it, I cannot figure out WHAT you intend for it to mean.Maybe my puny inferior brain just cannot understand your higher level of cognition?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lurker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:49pm
> Thankyou so much for saying this. I have long hair and> love it. For this reason I would never go into a salon> and say "I want something new an cool" if I> really just wanted a trim. Salon customers need to> take responsibility for their requests.Thank you for your rational and intelligent reply to my post. You (unlike others who attacked me in this thread by calling me a "tough guy") have made an intelligent and well-thought logical reply that enhances the discussion at hand.> I get annoyed> when women seem to want to have their cake and eat it> too when it comes to hair. My heart goes out to those> people who have had stylists directly defy there> wishes but I do not feel sorry for those who give> vague instructions and then are dissatisfied with the> results.Thank You!I get so tired of ad homenim attacks by those who are too feeble-minded to post an intelligent response! Your post is like a breath of fresh air, and not just because you agree with my point!There are some in this discussion with whom I do not always agree, but at least most people keep things civil.Posting a reply that simply says "hey, you are tough" does nothing to enhance the discussion, and only shows the poster to be immature and childish.L.
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:49pm
> Thank you for your rational and intelligent reply to> my post. You (unlike others who attacked me in this> thread by calling me a "tough guy") have> made an intelligent and well-thought logical reply> that enhances the discussion at hand.> Thank You!> I get so tired of ad homenim attacks by those who are> too feeble-minded to post an intelligent response!> Your post is like a breath of fresh air, and not just> because you agree with my point!> There are some in this discussion with whom I do not> always agree, but at least most people keep things> civil.> Posting a reply that simply says "hey, you are> tough" does nothing to enhance the discussion,> and only shows the poster to be immature and childish.> L.For goodness sakes I wasn't attacking you by saying you were a tough guy. I was teasing you because you totally miss my point of view and I didn't think it was worth pointing it out to you . That is all. There is no needs to insult me there Lurker. You and Serena are talking about something else which is a good subject . It is not at all the same subject and it was starting to be a pot pourri type of thing so I felt it was best to leave you and tease you that is all.If you would have seem my facial expression you would have realize that I am not at all attacking you.I tried to point out something to you and you are set on a certain point of view which is a totally diffirent topic.I have no more comments. That is all. This is just a discussion and there is no need to take this so so seriously lurker. I wish you well okay. I have tried twice to point out something to you and you missed it twice so I am moving on to another topic thanks.I have nothing against haircuts etc. YOu totally missed what I was sharing with you. I see you did the same with Dave.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jeff Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:49pm
> By the way, what does LOL mean? I always thought it> means "Lots of Luck", but given the context> in which you use it, I cannot figure out WHAT you> intend for it to mean.LOL - Laugh out loudCome on - no name calling.We can have an intelligent conversation without resorting to personal attacks.Jeff.
xoom!
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Dave View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:49pm
Dear Lurker,At the risk of being beheaded, may I politely point out thatyou have previously asked that other people be civil, yethere I read your not-so-subtle put-down of Diane from Canada.Her statement to you ("you are tough") could be seen as acompliment. At the very lowest level of interpretation, itis ambiguous, so perhaps a request for clarifcation fromher would be more appropriate than the comeback you gave.Either that or ignore it? (just suggesting possibilities)FYI, LOL means "Laughing Out Loud"BTW, since you have begun posting, your "handle" of "Lurker"has become a misnomer. Maybe you'll want to consider usingthe handle "Poster" instead? :-)Dave
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lurker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:49pm
> Dear Lurker,> FYI, LOL means "Laughing Out Loud"Now I know, thanks.> BTW, since you have begun posting, your "handle" of> "Lurker" has become a misnomer.You are correct. I was having a better time just occasionally reading, so that is what I will go back to doing.> Maybe you'll want to consider using the handle "Poster"> instead? :-)I think that it will be best for all involved if I will just go back to reading, but I do reserve the right to post if I see something that I just must respond to! :-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Serena Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:49pm
Diane, I understnad that you meant "tough" in a good way. It was just a misunderstanding. You and lurker are both very nice posters.
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 8:49pm
> Diane, I understnad that you meant "tough"> in a good way. It was just a misunderstanding. You and> lurker are both very nice posters.Oh thanks it can be tough to give some guys compliments lol ( laughing online)Diane
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