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Al View Drop Down
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    Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:04pm
I am interested in hearing opinions from both men and women on this one. I am a married, 45-year old father of three boys and hold down a professional job of some status,I have suddenly developed an urge to do something quite out of character. It must be some sort of midlife crisis. I want to do something that I missed out on when I was younger. I would like to grow my hair long. I really want to allow it to grow for several months...or longer. If I thought I could stand the questions, the scrutiny, the fear of losing credibility...I would do it in a heartbeat.I have had short hair virtually all my life. I have always been a huge lover of long hair on women. But I never liked long hair on men. I had a crew cut until I was 14 years old. My hair was never longer than an inch until eighth grade. Even then, it didn’t get very long. I was able to comb it over. I eventually grew longer sideburns when I was in high school. Once I got to college....in the mid 70s when all guys were wearing longer hair...I finally let it cover about half of my ears. Once out of college...I went back to a shorter cut. Not a crew cut, but well off the ears and feathered high off the back of the neck.So that is where it has been for almost 25 years. Short, conservative, and disciplined hair. In early April, I got it cut shorter than normal. It was so short in the front that I could barely comb it over. That’s what I asked for...but it was too short, even for my tastes. Right then and there...I decided to go several weeks without a haircut.Now I’ve made it to June...that was a goal of mine. It still isn’t long but it is beginning to look like I need at least a trim. My hair now covers the tops of my ears. The short cropped hair in the back is beginning to get a bit wavy. The top of my hair is starting to get real thick. More gray is starting to show.But as my hair has grown out a little bit, my interest in leaving it alone has escalated. Now my goal is to make it to July without a haircut. I don’t think I can do that. It will look real shaggy by then. But if I do make it, I will go to the barber and ask for a trim only...not the same old shorter look I’ve had for the past two decades. I would like him to leave the back alone and simply shape up the rest...but not lose too much length. Then maybe I could make it well into August or perhaps even September. By then, my hair would be considered long for a guy in his mid 40s...and could be as long as it has ever been.If I could only get away with it....I would not stop. I would keep getting a periodic trim, only to keep it from looking shaggy. I would grow all of my hair out....maybe using a gel to slick it back for awhile until it gets through that awkward stage. Then maybe by the end of the year, I could begin wearing it in a little pony tail. My wife has some ponytail holders that would work....if only I could grow enough hair in the back to keep it pulled back. Then maybe by next spring or early summer, all of my hair would be long enough to pull back into a ponytail. Once it could all be pulled back, I could keep it tied back for as long as I wanted to. It would no longer be bothersome...although it might look funny to see an aging guy who never liked the hippie movement to be wearing his hair long.I would love to keep going for a few years and allow my hair to grow past my shoulders and well down my back. I would love to experience the sensation of feeling long hair moving down my back. Imagine how cool it would be to...every once in awhile...shake it out of its ponytail and wear it loose...have it fall in front well past my shoulders.I would love to have people see me and be shocked that such an old guy who they always thought was so conservative was actually a rebel....and that he had hair longer than most women wear it. Once it could all be pulled back, I would not even get it trimmed anymore. I would just let it get longer and longer and longer.I always wanted my wife to wear her hair as long as possible. She has resisted and would be much happier in short hair. Now I’m intrigued by the possibility and the desire of growing my own hair long. I can do it if I want. I just have to pay the consequences.My wife might be embarassed. My kids might be ashamed. I could lose my job, my friends, any credibility I have, and become a laughingstock. If I knew none of this would happen, I just might do it.My new secret desire.....growing my hair long. It probably won’t happen. I will probably cut my hair within the next couple of weeks....back to the length I’ve always worn it.But just maybe I’ll trim it just a bit....and see what happens. Maybe my wife will love it and encourage me to wear it even longer. Maybe I can get away with wearing a ponytail at age 45 and not be ostracized.Am I just an old fool or could a man my age and professional standing be okay in growing his hair out in this day and age? Is it even in style for men? How do I go about doing it?Al
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john View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote john Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:05pm
> I am interested in hearing opinions from both men and> women on this one. I am a married, 45-year old father> of three boys and hold down a professional job of some> status,> I have suddenly developed an urge to do something> quite out of character. It must be some sort of> midlife crisis. I want to do something that I missed> out on when I was younger. I would like to grow my> hair long. I really want to allow it to grow for> several months...or longer. If I thought I could stand> the questions, the scrutiny, the fear of losing> credibility...I would do it in a heartbeat.> I have had short hair virtually all my life. I have> always been a huge lover of long hair on women. But I> never liked long hair on men. I had a crew cut until I> was 14 years old. My hair was never longer than an> inch until eighth grade. Even then, it didn’t get very> long. I was able to comb it over. I eventually grew> longer sideburns when I was in high school. Once I got> to college....in the mid 70s when all guys were> wearing longer hair...I finally let it cover about> half of my ears. Once out of college...I went back to> a shorter cut. Not a crew cut, but well off the ears> and feathered high off the back of the neck.> So that is where it has been for almost 25 years.> Short, conservative, and disciplined hair. In early> April, I got it cut shorter than normal. It was so> short in the front that I could barely comb it over.> That’s what I asked for...but it was too short, even> for my tastes. Right then and there...I decided to go> several weeks without a haircut.> Now I’ve made it to June...that was a goal of mine. It> still isn’t long but it is beginning to look like I> need at least a trim. My hair now covers the tops of> my ears. The short cropped hair in the back is> beginning to get a bit wavy. The top of my hair is> starting to get real thick. More gray is starting to> show.> But as my hair has grown out a little bit, my interest> in leaving it alone has escalated. Now my goal is to> make it to July without a haircut. I don’t think I can> do that. It will look real shaggy by then. But if I do> make it, I will go to the barber and ask for a trim> only...not the same old shorter look I’ve had for the> past two decades. I would like him to leave the back> alone and simply shape up the rest...but not lose too> much length. Then maybe I could make it well into> August or perhaps even September. By then, my hair> would be considered long for a guy in his mid> 40s...and could be as long as it has ever been.> If I could only get away with it....I would not stop.> I would keep getting a periodic trim, only to keep it> from looking shaggy. I would grow all of my hair> out....maybe using a gel to slick it back for awhile> until it gets through that awkward stage. Then maybe> by the end of the year, I could begin wearing it in a> little pony tail. My wife has some ponytail holders> that would work....if only I could grow enough hair in> the back to keep it pulled back. Then maybe by next> spring or early summer, all of my hair would be long> enough to pull back into a ponytail. Once it could all> be pulled back, I could keep it tied back for as long> as I wanted to. It would no longer be> bothersome...although it might look funny to see an> aging guy who never liked the hippie movement to be> wearing his hair long.> I would love to keep going for a few years and allow> my hair to grow past my shoulders and well down my> back. I would love to experience the sensation of> feeling long hair moving down my back. Imagine how> cool it would be to...every once in awhile...shake it> out of its ponytail and wear it loose...have it fall> in front well past my shoulders.> I would love to have people see me and be shocked that> such an old guy who they always thought was so> conservative was actually a rebel....and that he had> hair longer than most women wear it. Once it could all> be pulled back, I would not even get it trimmed> anymore. I would just let it get longer and longer and> longer.> I always wanted my wife to wear her hair as long as> possible. She has resisted and would be much happier> in short hair. Now I’m intrigued by the possibility> and the desire of growing my own hair long. I can do> it if I want. I just have to pay the consequences.> My wife might be embarassed. My kids might be ashamed.> I could lose my job, my friends, any credibility I> have, and become a laughingstock. If I knew none of> this would happen, I just might do it.> My new secret desire.....growing my hair long. It> probably won’t happen. I will probably cut my hair> within the next couple of weeks....back to the length> I’ve always worn it.> But just maybe I’ll trim it just a bit....and see what> happens. Maybe my wife will love it and encourage me> to wear it even longer. Maybe I can get away with> wearing a ponytail at age 45 and not be ostracized.> Am I just an old fool or could a man my age and> professional standing be okay in growing his hair out> in this day and age? Is it even in style for men? How> do I go about doing it?> AlHi.Give it try. If your not sure about growing it out try doing it in stages. Keep your hair trimmed but, let it grow a little longer each time. I grew my hair out about 2 years ago. Yes, I got some funny comments but oh well. I now generally keep it about mid shoulder length and most people usually have good comments about it. I am male and in my late thirties. good luck
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Kim, a Newbie View Drop Down
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Hi there. I certainly see nothing wrong with anyone in their forties, male or female, growing their hair long. I have seen some gorgeous long hair on men in their fifties and sixties (mostly at Renaissance Fairs), and it didn't seem inappropriate. Liam Neeson looked pretty good with (fake) long hair in the new Star Wars film, and Sean Connery has also looked pretty good with (fake) long hair. You might just try it and see. At the very least, you might find it interesting to see what reactions you get. If you find you don't like them, then you can get it cut.I say try it and see.---Kim
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Go for it Al. I am 49 and I started growing my hair long about a year and a half ago. It is now shoulder length and I wear it in a pony tail most of the time. When it was finally long enough to tie back I was surprised at the compliments I got at work. Forget the trimming if you are serious about growing it out. It will not get long by being cut. Instead blow it dry and learn to style it with a curling iron and brush until it is long enough to tie back , in my case just about a year. Then you are home free. Once you have the ponytail people will not notice additional length. Keep it neat ad well kempt. In my case that means curling it and keeping stray shorter hairs stuck down with spray. By the way when it is curled it looks shorter and neater.As it gets longer it is fun to experiment with different styles, etc.You may want to check out the Mens Long Hair Site, tooGood Luck!!> Hi there. I certainly see nothing wrong with anyone in> their forties, male or female, growing their hair> long. I have seen some gorgeous long hair on men in> their fifties and sixties (mostly at Renaissance> Fairs), and it didn't seem inappropriate. Liam Neeson> looked pretty good with (fake) long hair in the new> Star Wars film, and Sean Connery has also looked> pretty good with (fake) long hair. You might just try> it and see. At the very least, you might find it> interesting to see what reactions you get. If you find> you don't like them, then you can get it cut.> I say try it and see.> ---Kim
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jade21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:06pm
Dear Al,I really wanted to drop you a note here because I enjoyed reading your post so much. You have thought about growing out your hair for a long time and, from reading your post, just the thought of it has brought you great joy. I think what may be holding you back are the sheer logistics of handling and dealing with your hair as it grows and others' reactions. As for management, from others who have posted, you can get plenty of help there. From what you've read on this forum, we deal with a lot of the social issues of hair length and related issues, among other things:)I am in my 20's and personally don't think you are having a mid-life crisis. It just sounds like your "wish" has been a long time in the making. Most of all, you can always stop if you don't like it at some point. Funny thing about hair that way:) I do like men with longer hair:)Personally, I think that for men growing their hair can be a truly liberating experience. Sometimes, especially if one has a conservative job, this is one indication of the true inner self just yelling to burst forth. I know an attorney who started just as you did. He works at a very conservative law firm in Washington, DC, is in his 40's and just decided he was tired of getting hair cuts every week. That was last summer. He has learned to manage his hair and was always an excellent attorney, so the hair really was not the issue in relation to his job. A few small steps can equal one giant step:)Happy growing! I hope that you will continue to post.Bye for now,Jade21I am interested in hearing opinions from both men and> women on this one. I am a married, 45-year old father> of three boys and hold down a professional job of some> status,> I have suddenly developed an urge to do something> quite out of character. It must be some sort of> midlife crisis. I want to do something that I missed> out on when I was younger. I would like to grow my> hair long. I really want to allow it to grow for> several months...or longer. If I thought I could stand> the questions, the scrutiny, the fear of losing> credibility...I would do it in a heartbeat.> I have had short hair virtually all my life. I have> always been a huge lover of long hair on women. But I> never liked long hair on men. I had a crew cut until I> was 14 years old. My hair was never longer than an> inch until eighth grade. Even then, it didn’t get very> long. I was able to comb it over. I eventually grew> longer sideburns when I was in high school. Once I got> to college....in the mid 70s when all guys were> wearing longer hair...I finally let it cover about> half of my ears. Once out of college...I went back to> a shorter cut. Not a crew cut, but well off the ears> and feathered high off the back of the neck.> So that is where it has been for almost 25 years.> Short, conservative, and disciplined hair. In early> April, I got it cut shorter than normal. It was so> short in the front that I could barely comb it over.> That’s what I asked for...but it was too short, even> for my tastes. Right then and there...I decided to go> several weeks without a haircut.> Now I’ve made it to June...that was a goal of mine. It> still isn’t long but it is beginning to look like I> need at least a trim. My hair now covers the tops of> my ears. The short cropped hair in the back is> beginning to get a bit wavy. The top of my hair is> starting to get real thick. More gray is starting to> show.> But as my hair has grown out a little bit, my interest> in leaving it alone has escalated. Now my goal is to> make it to July without a haircut. I don’t think I can> do that. It will look real shaggy by then. But if I do> make it, I will go to the barber and ask for a trim> only...not the same old shorter look I’ve had for the> past two decades. I would like him to leave the back> alone and simply shape up the rest...but not lose too> much length. Then maybe I could make it well into> August or perhaps even September. By then, my hair> would be considered long for a guy in his mid> 40s...and could be as long as it has ever been.> If I could only get away with it....I would not stop.> I would keep getting a periodic trim, only to keep it> from looking shaggy. I would grow all of my hair> out....maybe using a gel to slick it back for awhile> until it gets through that awkward stage. Then maybe> by the end of the year, I could begin wearing it in a> little pony tail. My wife has some ponytail holders> that would work....if only I could grow enough hair in> the back to keep it pulled back. Then maybe by next> spring or early summer, all of my hair would be long> enough to pull back into a ponytail. Once it could all> be pulled back, I could keep it tied back for as long> as I wanted to. It would no longer be> bothersome...although it might look funny to see an> aging guy who never liked the hippie movement to be> wearing his hair long.> I would love to keep going for a few years and allow> my hair to grow past my shoulders and well down my> back. I would love to experience the sensation of> feeling long hair moving down my back. Imagine how> cool it would be to...every once in awhile...shake it> out of its ponytail and wear it loose...have it fall> in front well past my shoulders.> I would love to have people see me and be shocked that> such an old guy who they always thought was so> conservative was actually a rebel....and that he had> hair longer than most women wear it. Once it could all> be pulled back, I would not even get it trimmed> anymore. I would just let it get longer and longer and> longer.> I always wanted my wife to wear her hair as long as> possible. She has resisted and would be much happier> in short hair. Now I’m intrigued by the possibility> and the desire of growing my own hair long. I can do> it if I want. I just have to pay the consequences.> My wife might be embarassed. My kids might be ashamed.> I could lose my job, my friends, any credibility I> have, and become a laughingstock. If I knew none of> this would happen, I just might do it.> My new secret desire.....growing my hair long. It> probably won’t happen. I will probably cut my hair> within the next couple of weeks....back to the length> I’ve always worn it.> But just maybe I’ll trim it just a bit....and see what> happens. Maybe my wife will love it and encourage me> to wear it even longer. Maybe I can get away with> wearing a ponytail at age 45 and not be ostracized.> Am I just an old fool or could a man my age and> professional standing be okay in growing his hair out> in this day and age? Is it even in style for men? How> do I go about doing it?> Al
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Kent View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kent Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:06pm
Wow, I can sure relate to what you shared in your message. I am a 52 years old man and have long hair to the middle of my back. It requires a lot of soul searching to grow hair that long but it can also provide a lot of personal growth. I have found that the longer my hair gets the more determined I am to have it long. Who knows, maybe when it reaches the floor I'll decide to stop! :-)Hey guy, go for it, and DON'T LOOK BACK! I'm not going to kid you and tell you it will be easy, but it will definitely add to your character. You will learn a lot about yourself, your determination, and what to do when others criticize. I have learned that I have a lot more confidence than I ever gave my self credit.> I am interested in hearing opinions from both men and> women on this one. I am a married, 45-year old father> of three boys and hold down a professional job of some> status,What kind of job do you have? For me, I am a Graphic Designer, and in my profession, as an artist, long hair is probably more acceptable. My department is currently looking for another designer and yesterday a fellow came in for an interview with loose hair almost as long as mine. So for my profession (and in California) at least there is a lot of acceptance.> I have suddenly developed an urge to do something> quite out of character. It must be some sort of> midlife crisis. I want to do something that I missed> out on when I was younger. I would like to grow my> hair long. I really want to allow it to grow for> several months...or longer. If I thought I could stand> the questions, the scrutiny, the fear of losing> credibility...I would do it in a heartbeat.Whether it is a midlife crisis or just doing something that you suddenly realize you want, you shouldn't feel the need to categorize your decision. We all change as we go through life, and you have reached the point that you would like to have long hair. That is okay. Don't worry about the questions and scrutiny from others, or the credibility fears, but take it a DAY AT A TIME. And persevere.> I have had short hair virtually all my life. But I> never liked long hair on men. I had a crew cut until I> was 14 years old. My hair was never longer than an> inch until eighth grade. Even then, it didn't get very> long. I was able to comb it over. I eventually grew> longer sideburns when I was in high school. Once I got> to college....in the mid 70s when all guys were> wearing longer hair...I finally let it cover about> half of my ears. Once out of college...I went back to> a shorter cut. Not a crew cut, but well off the ears> and feathered high off the back of the neck.Unlike you, I have "flirted" with long hair most of my adult life, but it wasn't until a night in December 1992, as I was laying in bed trying to go to sleep, that I decided to stop playing around with long hair and get serious. It still took three tries to get it to where it is now (the longest I have ever grown my hair). The first try lasted six months. I cut it for a job interview (I did not get the job). I had no goal at that time except to grow it long. The second time I decided to grow my hair until I was 50. After two years and six month I cut it (three months before my goal!) for another job. I didn't get that job nor did I get two others, and yet the company I worked for had hired me with a pony tail! (I was slow in getting the message that it wasn't the hair that kept me from getting the job, it just wasn't time for me to move).Now I have grown my hair for three years and three months. My goal this time was to grow it until the year 2000 (which I have recently modified to New Years 2001.... the beginning of the next mellenium). However, I do not intend to miss my goal and I suspect I will continue to grow my hair after I reach that date.> I have> always been a huge lover of long hair on women.They do look GREAT, don't they. (ahhh!) :-) (My compliments to ANY woman who is reading this, long hair OR short!)> So that is where it has been for almost 25 years.> Short, conservative, and disciplined hair. In early> April, I got it cut shorter than normal. It was so> short in the front that I could barely comb it over.> That's what I asked for...but it was too short, even> for my tastes. Right then and there...I decided to go> several weeks without a haircut.Good for you. Hey, it's kind of fun to be a bit daring! It¹s a positive sign of maturity. ;-)> Now I've made it to June...that was a goal of mine. It> still isn't long but it is beginning to look like I> need at least a trim. My hair now covers the tops of> my ears. The short cropped hair in the back is> beginning to get a bit wavy. The top of my hair is> starting to get real thick. More gray is starting to> show.Tell me about gray hair, I have it too! But that is part of how we change. The variations in color can actually look good, so don't worry about the gray (I'm talking to myself too!)> But as my hair has grown out a little bit, my interest> in leaving it alone has escalatedI think the longer it gets the more satisfied you will become. Believe me, once you get through that bad hair stage your hair will start looking great.> Now my goal is to> make it to July without a haircut. I don't think I can> do that. It will look real shaggy by then. But if I do> make it, I will go to the barber and ask for a trim> only...not the same old shorter look I've had for the> past two decades.There are ways to keep it from looking shaggy. Some of the other posts address that with excellent suggestions. But you mentioned the word barber.... forgive me for shuddering :-) I would suggest you make sure you go to someone who is sympathetic with long hair. Otherwise you may find yourself back to your short hair style or talked out of growing it long. If your barber doesn't fit the bill, you might try to locate a beauty salon (it's okay for a guy to go to one). Ask a long-haired man (if you feel comfortable) or long-haired woman where they get their hair trimmed.The best way, of course, is not to get any trims, but since you need to maintain a professional image you will be best served by finding a sympathetic person who can guide you through the initial stages (especially the dreaded "bad hair" phase). There are techniques to make it easier and someone with experiences can show you the best way for your hair type.> I would like him to leave the back> alone and simply shape up the rest...but not lose too> much length. Then maybe I could make it well into> August or perhaps even September. By then, my hair> would be considered long for a guy in his mid> 40s...and could be as long as it has ever been.Who says the young guys should have all the fun!> If I could only get away with it....I would not stop.> I would keep getting a periodic trim, only to keep it> from looking shaggy. I would grow all of my hair> out....Growing ALL your hair out is an excellent idea. I made the mistake of having my hair stylist keep the top, bangs and sides over my ears short. It may make it easier to go through the bad hair phase, but when you finally decide to grow ALL the hair it will mean another bad hair phase. Yep, that's where I'm at now.... a NEW bad hair phase after over three years! (But at least the hair in back looks great :-)> ....maybe using a gel to slick it back for awhile> until it gets through that awkward stage. Then maybe> by the end of the year, I could begin wearing it in a> little pony tail. My wife has some ponytail holders> that would work....if only I could grow enough hair in> the back to keep it pulled back. Then maybe by next> spring or early summer, all of my hair would be long> enough to pull back into a ponytail.Gel helps a lot to keep the shorter hair slicked back. It also helps tame the sides (although my naturally wavy hair still wants to stick out!) You will need to experiment with what works best for you. You will find that a pony tail will make your long hair more acceptable to others and your comfort level will increase dramatically.> Once it could all> be pulled back, I could keep it tied back for as long> as I wanted to. It would no longer be> bothersome...although it might look funny to see an> aging guy who never liked the hippie movement to be> wearing his hair long.If more guys our age were growing their hair out it wouldn't look so unusual. Since we are at the forefront we must be the ones to set the standards. Besides, why do we have to look like every other middle aged guy? After awhile it becomes kind of neat to be different. Looking ³funny² is only because of what people are accustomed to seeing.> I would love to keep going for a few years and allow> my hair to grow past my shoulders and well down my> back. I would love to experience the sensation of> feeling long hair moving down my back. Imagine how> cool it would be to...every once in awhile...shake it> out of its ponytail and wear it loose...have it fall> in front well past my shoulders.I've experienced all those things and let me tell you, it IS great! And, it IS cool (as that word was redefined by our generation in the 60's). I will admit, however, that during hot weather wearing it loose is not ³cool² (as in hot and uncomfortable). But not uncomfortable enough to discourage me from wearing my hair long!>Once it could all> be pulled back, I would not even get it trimmed> anymore. I would just let it get longer and longer and> longer.It is true that once your hair gets long trims become very infrequent, and that only to get rid of the split ends and perhaps even things up a bit. Hopefully you will find a stylist who thinks trimming more than 1/32 inch off is a major haircut.> I always wanted my wife to wear her hair as long as> possible. She has resisted and would be much happier> in short hair. Now I'm intrigued by the possibility> and the desire of growing my own hair long. I can do> it if I want. I just have to pay the consequences.My wife too likes her hair short. So someone has to be the "keeper of the hair" and that is me. There is no "law" that a man's hair must be shorter than his wife's. As far as consequences, most of them are "unrealized" fears. You will find that most of what you fear will NOT happen.> My wife might be embarassed. My kids might be ashamed.> I could lose my job, my friends, any credibility I> have, and become a laughingstock. If I knew none of> this would happen, I just might do it.My wife has learned to tolerate my long hair (after all she has had to live with my hair at various lengths for almost 30 years!). My two sons just roll their eyes and say "that's my Dad". Actually the older one only commented once (and that I think was encouraged by his bride). Since then they have been very accepting. Last Holiday Season when my wife and son and I were driving he asked his mother "When I was going to get a haircut". (I was sitting in the back seat). They both ³hoped² it would someday pass. He also calls me his "non-standard Dad". But most of the time they don't mention my hair. I've found sometimes it helps to just joke about it as if it is a perfectly acceptable thing (which it should be!)As far as your friends, if they cannot be your friend with long hair they are not really a friend. Most of them won¹t say anything and you probably won¹t know how they feel about your hair unless you ask them. You are still the same person. Credibility is a function of who you are and the rest of you won¹t be any different than before. Laughingstock? Who cares? Let people laugh... better yet, laugh WITH them.> My new secret desire.....growing my hair long. It> probably won't happen. I will probably cut my hair> within the next couple of weeks....back to the length> I've always worn it.Don¹t give up! I once heard a suggestion called the "Two Week Rule". If you feel you should cut your hair and DO NOT WAIVER in your decision for TWO WEEKS, then go ahead and cut it. However, if you have ANY reservations during that time it means you truly do not want to cut your hair shorter, so DON¹T DO IT! It helps a lot during those occasional "discouraging" days. Remember, when you get through the bad hair phase everything will be easier.> But just maybe I'll trim it just a bit....and see what> happens. Maybe my wife will love it and encourage me> to wear it even longer. Maybe I can get away with> wearing a ponytail at age 45 and not be ostracized.When you first start growing your hair you may get a few comments. You are making a change and people are not accustomed to your new look. They may try to get back the ³old² you. Once people see you are serious they will back off. (I get few comments from coworkers now that my hair has gotten so long) And if you do get harrassment it will be easier to brush it off.Regarding your job, you may be surprised that it will not matter. If you do a great job, are well respected and knowledgable, you may learn that your long hair will not matter.> Am I just an old fool or could a man my age and> professional standing be okay in growing his hair out> in this day and age? Is it even in style for men? How> do I go about doing it?So you know my opinion. Go for it and you will be pleased. Styles will change, and eventually you will find yourself "in style" and all the others will have to catch up. IMHO we might be surprised how many guys our age would grow their hair long if they had the confidence to do it. Consider yourself lucky to be so enlightened!Check out the Men's Long Hair Board (as suggested in another post) at:http://the-light.com/mens/longhair.htmlThat site has a similar message board to Hair Boutique (called the Hyperboard) and lots of suggestions/links for growing long hair. Between that site and the Hair Boutique you will find lots of support in your decision.Good luck and keep us posted on your progress. If you start to waiver don't be afraid to get some encouragement from the people here at Hair Politics.Kent
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote phil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:06pm
AL,You,ve got a yaer or two on me but otherwise we are similar, fathers of three boys, professional short haired, but wanting it longer.I think the posting that advised you to grow it out in stages is likely to be the best. Let it get trimmed and styled once its practically over your earsnext month. You could keep it this way thru Labor day, having it trimmed as reguarly as needed. Then this fall grow it out for a couple months and if you've got the ability to develop a real full and heavy one I'd concurrently go for a beard and stache. If you can't get full coverage with your facial hair, I maybe you can do a goatee. Those have become commonplace enough now that they're even corporate. As the attention is focused on your beard growing, it will be diverted from your mane development. By the millenium celebrations you'll probably have it long enough for a stubby ponytail. I saw one on a guy who had trimmed the undergrowth, closest to the backand top of the neck and then had his gelled hair pulled tightly back and it looked precise and super! A kind of power look, in fact.I envy your self-confidence in this regard and look at your posting as a challenge to myself! Go - or shall I say - grow for it! The kids won't mind a bit, and your wife may find your self determination a positive re-attraction.>>> make it to July without a haircut. I don’t think I can> do that. It will look real shaggy by then. But if I do> make it, I will go to the barber and ask for a trim> only...not the same old shorter look I’ve had for the> past two decades. I would like him to leave the back> alone and simply shape up the rest...but not lose too> much length. Then maybe I could make it well into> August or perhaps even September. By then, my hair> would be considered long for a guy in his mid> 40s...and could be as long as it has ever been.> If I could only get away with it....I would not stop.> I would keep getting a periodic trim, only to keep it> from looking shaggy. I would grow all of my hair> out....maybe using a gel to slick it back for awhile> until it gets through that awkward stage. Then maybe> by the end of the year, I could begin wearing it in a> little pony tail. My wife has some ponytail holders> that would work....if only I could grow enough hair in> the back to keep it pulled back. Then maybe by next> spring or early summer, all of my hair would be long> enough to pull back into a ponytail. Once it could all> be pulled back, I could keep it tied back for as long> as I wanted to. It would no longer be> bothersome...although it might look funny to see an> aging guy who never liked the hippie movement to be> wearing his hair long.> I would love to keep going for a few years and allow> my hair to grow past my shoulders and well down my> back. I would love to experience the sensation of> feeling long hair moving down my back. Imagine how> cool it would be to...every once in awhile...shake it> out of its ponytail and wear it loose...have it fall> in front well past my shoulders.> I would love to have people see me and be shocked that> such an old guy who they always thought was so> conservative was actually a rebel....and that he had> hair longer than most women wear it. Once it could all> be pulled back, I would not even get it trimmed> anymore. I would just let it get longer and longer and> longer.> I always wanted my wife to wear her hair as long as> possible. She has resisted and would be much happier> in short hair. Now I’m intrigued by the possibility> and the desire of growing my own hair long. I can do> it if I want. I just have to pay the consequences.> My wife might be embarassed. My kids might be ashamed.> I could lose my job, my friends, any credibility I> have, and become a laughingstock. If I knew none of> this would happen, I just might do it.> My new secret desire.....growing my hair long. It> probably won’t happen. I will probably cut my hair> within the next couple of weeks....back to the length> I’ve always worn it.> But just maybe I’ll trim it just a bit....and see what> happens. Maybe my wife will love it and encourage me> to wear it even longer. Maybe I can get away with> wearing a ponytail at age 45 and not be ostracized.> Am I just an old fool or could a man my age and> professional standing be okay in growing his hair out> in this day and age? Is it even in style for men? How> do I go about doing it?> Al
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote phil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:06pm
> Hey AL, just do it, man. I did and it's great I just celebrated my 50th. My daughters are both out of college. And itwas actually my older daughter's fully bearded and dreadlocked boyfriend - at the time - who suggested I grow out my curly, butclosely cropped hair. My hair is thick, jet black with now - some white. As it grew out it just got longer and curlier. My ex-wifehated it, which is probably why I kept growing it. In the two years I've been growing it out it has developed into shoulder length(longer in the back)corkscrew curls. I'd love to sport dreads, but I don't think I'd like black and white ones and I'm not ready to dye myhair.Anyway, for my new, young wife my curls are a realturn on. She plays with them more than I do! She loves to braid my hair, so sometimes she'll do that in the morning before work (I sell wallpapers), or she'll wrap it with bandannas, Willie Nelson style,when I play Tennis on the weekends. Other times I wear it the curls loose or in a bushy ponytail. Right now she's trying to convince me to have it braided into cornrows or something like that. I'm not sure,though, that I'm yet ready for that.I have always had a wide, full moustache and this winter I grew out my beard on a trial basis. It's got full coverage in black and grey. I groom it real close (1/2 to 1") length. My wife lovcs the beard and my long curls so I'm inmale Hair Heaven! I've also received countless compliments from customers. So I think you know the answer to your questions about how my hair makes this old timer feel!******************************************************I am interested in hearing opinions from both men and> women on this one. I am a married, 45-year old father> of three boys and hold down a professional job of some> status,> I have suddenly developed an urge to do something> quite out of character. It must be some sort of> midlife crisis. I want to do something that I missed> out on when I was younger. I would like to grow my> hair long. I really want to allow it to grow for> several months...or longer. If I thought I could stand> the questions, the scrutiny, the fear of losing> credibility...I would do it in a heartbeat.> I have had short hair virtually all my life. I have> always been a huge lover of long hair on women. But I> never liked long hair on men. I had a crew cut until I> was 14 years old. My hair was never longer than an> inch until eighth grade. Even then, it didn’t get very> long. I was able to comb it over. I eventually grew> longer sideburns when I was in high school. Once I got> to college....in the mid 70s when all guys were> wearing longer hair...I finally let it cover about> half of my ears. Once out of college...I went back to> a shorter cut. Not a crew cut, but well off the ears> and feathered high off the back of the neck.> So that is where it has been for almost 25 years.> Short, conservative, and disciplined hair. In early> April, I got it cut shorter than normal. It was so> short in the front that I could barely comb it over.> That’s what I asked for...but it was too short, even> for my tastes. Right then and there...I decided to go> several weeks without a haircut.> Now I’ve made it to June...that was a goal of mine. It> still isn’t long but it is beginning to look like I> need at least a trim. My hair now covers the tops of> my ears. The short cropped hair in the back is> beginning to get a bit wavy. The top of my hair is> starting to get real thick. More gray is starting to> show.> But as my hair has grown out a little bit, my interest> in leaving it alone has escalated. Now my goal is to> make it to July without a haircut. I don’t think I can> do that. It will look real shaggy by then. But if I do> make it, I will go to the barber and ask for a trim> only...not the same old shorter look I’ve had for the> past two decades. I would like him to leave the back> alone and simply shape up the rest...but not lose too> much length. Then maybe I could make it well into> August or perhaps even September. By then, my hair> would be considered long for a guy in his mid> 40s...and could be as long as it has ever been.> If I could only get away with it....I would not stop.> I would keep getting a periodic trim, only to keep it> from looking shaggy. I would grow all of my hair> out....maybe using a gel to slick it back for awhile> until it gets through that awkward stage. Then maybe> by the end of the year, I could begin wearing it in a> little pony tail. My wife has some ponytail holders> that would work....if only I could grow enough hair in> the back to keep it pulled back. Then maybe by next> spring or early summer, all of my hair would be long> enough to pull back into a ponytail. Once it could all> be pulled back, I could keep it tied back for as long> as I wanted to. It would no longer be> bothersome...although it might look funny to see an> aging guy who never liked the hippie movement to be> wearing his hair long.> I would love to keep going for a few years and allow> my hair to grow past my shoulders and well down my> back. I would love to experience the sensation of> feeling long hair moving down my back. Imagine how> cool it would be to...every once in awhile...shake it> out of its ponytail and wear it loose...have it fall> in front well past my shoulders.> I would love to have people see me and be shocked that> such an old guy who they always thought was so> conservative was actually a rebel....and that he had> hair longer than most women wear it. Once it could all> be pulled back, I would not even get it trimmed> anymore. I would just let it get longer and longer and> longer.> I always wanted my wife to wear her hair as long as> possible. She has resisted and would be much happier> in short hair. Now I’m intrigued by the possibility> and the desire of growing my own hair long. I can do> it if I want. I just have to pay the consequences.> My wife might be embarassed. My kids might be ashamed.> I could lose my job, my friends, any credibility I> have, and become a laughingstock. If I knew none of> this would happen, I just might do it.> My new secret desire.....growing my hair long. It> probably won’t happen. I will probably cut my hair> within the next couple of weeks....back to the length> I’ve always worn it.> But just maybe I’ll trim it just a bit....and see what> happens. Maybe my wife will love it and encourage me> to wear it even longer. Maybe I can get away with> wearing a ponytail at age 45 and not be ostracized.> Am I just an old fool or could a man my age and> professional standing be okay in growing his hair out> in this day and age? Is it even in style for men? How> do I go about doing it?> Al
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kara Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:07pm
Kim is right. Al, Liam Neeson does look absolutely scrumptious with his long locks, even if they were fake. And don't forget about the everlasting rock gods of the 70's. I think Robert Plant is still sexy as hell. The guys from Aerosmith aren't to bad either.Just let it grow, getting it trimmed will only delay the process of growing it out. If you follow a good conditioning regimen your hair won't get split or break, so it won't look shaggy while you are in that in-between stage.As far as style, some may say short hair on guys is the "in" fad at the moment, but I think a healthy head of hair is like a pair of good fitting jeans: its something that will never go out of style.I may be restating what others have said, but you already know you look good with short hair. If long hair just doesn't turn out to be like you hoped, you can always change it.Good Luck, and Good Growing! Remember the bad hair stage won't last!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Elektros Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 13 2003 at 9:32pm
I'm 46 and an aging hippy. It seems my generation are running most businesses now. If you grow long hair, the chances are your boss used to have long hair, and failing that, then most of his friends did. Unless he's a lot younger (if he's a lot older he's probably retired). We should all stop worrying about it, and have whatever hair we want.
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Ack! Who let all the aging hippies out!

Early 40's, 3 kids. Met with 3 senior partners from a big law firm at a private club for breakfast today. My hair was longer than the other three combined.

I am at about 5 inches now (longest since 1985), and I'm aiming for my shoulders. Get regular trims from a stylist who understands my goal.

My mother insists that some people will not hire me if I don't get a haircut. My response is that if they are that uptight about the hair of a consultant, they're control freaks and I don't care to work with them. Oh, and I told Mom to butt out of my hair. Nearly threatened to tell her the story of how she traumatized me in the barbershop at age 10...

What was I saying about aging hippie control freaks again?

Trying to relax, I remain

Mr. Happy

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Just do it!
you'll be cool.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KathyAnn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: November 29 2003 at 1:14pm
One of my older brothers has long hair that he ties back in a ponytail.
He's a very handsome, masculine guy, who's married and has kids.
Long hair can suit some guys well. In my brother's case I think it compliments his rugged, athletic, masculine look and personality.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote phil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2003 at 5:07pm
I don't know who's responsible for those two previous postings under the name "phil", but it wasn't me! (I suspect someone of the same name who left in early 2000, before I joined.)
For the record then, I find by experience that men, young or old, who grow their hair long to be insufferably pompous. Look at me! Aren't I the Mane Attraction? Think David Bowie. If you're British, think Peter Stringfellow.
And before you all write in (by that I mean Dave D.) I don't mean every long-haired male, just a tendency which I have noted over the years.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveDecker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 02 2003 at 9:54pm
Hi Phil!

I see you've paged me

You don't find me to be "insufferably pompous?" I'm so disappointed... all this hair I've grown, and for what? To be considered a nice guy?

Actually, when I think of men who are insufferably pompous, the only ones that come to mind are short-haired (have you ever heard of Keyshaun Johnson? You're British, thank your lucky stars on this one). I also think of certain business execs who have scandalized their companies in recent years -- Andrew Fastow and others at Enron, Bernie Ebbers at WorldCom, Dennis Kozlowski at TYCO -- all short haired.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote KathyAnn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2003 at 1:49am
Are any long haired rock musicians pompous or arrogant Dave? Never I'm sure! LOL!
Don't get me wrong, long haired guys are cool Dave. I have a brother who is a man with long hair and he is a great guy!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveDecker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2003 at 7:19pm
Quote athyAnn wrote:
Are any long haired rock musicians pompous or arrogant Dave?

Any short-haired rock musicians pompous or arrogant, KathyAnn?

Being pompous seems to come with the territory for many rock and rap musicians, regardless of hair length.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote uzma Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2003 at 9:23pm
If Pete Stringfellow cut off his longish hair, would he suddenly stop being pompous?

And then, if he grew his hair back again, would he become pompous again?

Methinks not.
Uzi

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote enfys Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 08 2003 at 11:54am
Originally posted by phil phil wrote:

Think David Bowie. If you're British, think Peter Stringfellow.


Hey! I know David Bowie! Far better than Peter Stringfellow. And I think that David Bowe is one of the coolest celebrities ever. No matter what his hair's like. Have you never seen Labyrinth? I thought all celebs were pompous anyway.

Back on topic, I wonder what he did in the end?
http://www.myspace.com/waltzin_with_the_open_sea
Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote enfys Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 08 2003 at 11:57am
Al? You out there? How long would his hair be by now? Hmmm....

Who re-discovered this ye olde thread anyway?
http://www.myspace.com/waltzin_with_the_open_sea
Ah-ha, a place I can soon add hair pics...once I do some
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