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Dawn mentioned something about "fake" hair

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Jena View Drop Down
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    Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:05pm
Old story: I had long hair, cut it short, and now want long hair again. I was considering extensions and Dawn said I should not wear them because (I don't recall her exact words) I should accept that I cut my hair and just wait until it grew out. I almost read into it a sort of "punishment" period for what I did.What about people who perm or color their hair? Should they just accept what they have naturally? We have fake boobs, fake capped teeth, fake noses via plastic surgery, fake nails, and the list goes on. Is hair any different?Is it really such a threat that someone might do something, such as perm, color, or wear extensions, that we did naturally? Sure is! When I was in high school, I had light strawberry blonde hair. Nearly all of my friends colored their hair. I always took pride in my "natural" color.But as I've grown, I've decided it really isn't that big of a deal if someone wants a cosmetic procedure that will make her feel better. I'm certainly not condoning excessiveness! But if extensions or a perm or highlights will make a person more confident and happy, then what's the problem?
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H. Taylor View Drop Down
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Just a few words. . .> We have fake boobs, fake capped teeth, fake noses via plastic surgery, fake nails, and the list goes on. Is hair any different?Ugh! I don't have any of the above, nor would I consider it! Nor will I ever again perm or color my hair -- I'm pretty much natural now, save for the occasional coat of mascara. :) But I realize that this isn't everybody's choice, and it seems especially true when it comes to the situation of hair. I think that whatever it takes to make a person feel satisfied with him or herself is generally healthy, so long as it's not excessive. I don't think that hair extensions nor wigs are big deals, but even if I did that's my opinion for myself and isn't mean to condemn anybody else's choice. If wearing the wig makes you feel better, then go for it. But if you can, try to take this growing out time as a fun one for experimentation -- different lengths, styles, and so on. It needn't be viewed as a negative experience at all! :)
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Diane from Canada View Drop Down
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> Old story: I had long hair, cut it short, and now want> long hair again. I was considering extensions and Dawn> said I should not wear them because (I don't recall> her exact words) I should accept that I cut my hair> and just wait until it grew out. I almost read into it> a sort of "punishment" period for what I> did.> What about people who perm or color their hair? Should> they just accept what they have naturally? We have> fake boobs, fake capped teeth, fake noses via plastic> surgery, fake nails, and the list goes on. Is hair any> different?> Is it really such a threat that someone might do> something, such as perm, color, or wear extensions,> that we did naturally? Sure is! When I was in high> school, I had light strawberry blonde hair. Nearly all> of my friends colored their hair. I always took pride> in my "natural" color.> But as I've grown, I've decided it really isn't that> big of a deal if someone wants a cosmetic procedure> that will make her feel better. I'm certainly not> condoning excessiveness! But if extensions or a perm> or highlights will make a person more confident and> happy, then what's the problem?Dear Jena:There is a misunderstanding between you and Dawn. She didn't mean for you to understand it that way at all. Lets see if I can put it into others words.What I understood from her post and maybe she will be around to correct this is that she was trying to say to you that you should take the time to enjoy your short hair and really enjoy the time it takes to grow it because to grow long hair and have such a committement to this goal demands a lot from the soul.
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JerkyFlea View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JerkyFlea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:05pm
> Dear Jena:> There is a misunderstanding between you and Dawn. She> didn't mean for you to understand it that way at all.> Lets see if I can put it into others words.> What I understood from her post and maybe she will be> around to correct this is that she was trying to say> to you that you should take the time to enjoy your> short hair and really enjoy the time it takes to grow> it because to grow long hair and have such a> committement to this goal demands a lot from the soul.That doesn't help Diane.Dawn was quite harsh, and as I said in another post, rather arrogant in her comments to Jena on getting extenstions. I believe the word "cheating" was used amongst others. Your statement that "commitment to this goal demands a lot from the soul" is once again projecting your (and Dawn's) feelings on long hair onto Jena.Believe it or not, I've known a few women that had long hair simply because they didn't have time to or just never thought about cutting it. Not a concious decision; it just happened over time. Sure it wasn't ultra long, but that's not Jena's ultimate goal. As a matter of fact, that's not the goal of most women with long hair, though that takes nothing away from the committed and determined few (such as yourself) who have decided that's what they wanted to do.So, if Jena want short hair, fine. When she decides she wants long hair, that's fine too. Extensions? Great! Dye it red? Fantastic! Again, all her choice, despite the unwanted opinions of anyone else.Just like with your hair. :)Figuring that I can't completely leave Jena and Ally on their own on this,JerkyFleaRelated Link:JerkyFlea's Celebrity Hair Spray
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I agree. In this day and age, if you have the inclination and means to improve your appearance you should go for it! Ignore people who put you down for what you deem best for you. I color my hair red (think "Titanic") and have ALWAYS wanted red hair, even when I was a small child. Some natural redheads will tell you it's a SIN to try to emulate their hue. I look better in this color, it suits my very fair skin and green eyes. I feel more *like myself* this way, like the way I should have been born with! I have waist-length naturally curly hair, but I don't frown on people who get perms and extensions to try to get this look. I may add that I even have had a nose job! So, yes, I believe *if you so choose*, change what you were born with. (This is my personal opinion.)
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Okay.At this point I have read both Dawn and Dave make disparaging remarks about hair extensions. I believe Dave mentioned something about people taking the easy way out and looking for a fast fix instead of putting in the hard work and time.People, it's HAIR! It's not a career. It's not a pregnancy. It's not a relationship. We're talking about a /look/. Suddenly long hair is something you have to earn?Growing out your hair is not a spiritual journey; it's a pain in the ass. If I crave waist-length hair NOW, I can't have it. It takes four or five years. By that time, I may want a different look entirely. Extensions are a great way to achieve the desired illusion while your own hair grows out.They are also good for temporary effects--like when you're cast in the summer production of Shakespeare in the Park. *cough, cough, grin*Ally
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> Figuring that I can't completely leave Jena and Ally> on their own on this,> JerkyFleaHey JerkyFlea, look out for Lurker... he's down on anybody providing support to others in their decision ;-)Dave
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Clare View Drop Down
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Jena,I hear that you feel frustated with Dawn's opinion of extensions. However, I think it may be possible that she is responding to a post in which you made that assumption that if a person has long hair and has not cut it like you did, (and then decide to grow it back), that they do so out of insecurity, or that it is a sign of insecurity. Maybe that is true for you. I have seen you state that in some of your posts. Maybe cutting your hair was a liberating, life changing experience for you. And that is wonderful.But just because if was like that for you, does not mean that Dawn or I or anyone necessarily has long hair due to insecurity. In fact, I am growing my hair right now,and I know I will never cut it short again, because I hate short hair on me, and I know because I have been there. That's not insecurity, however, that is knowledge based on experience. I think Dawn has been there as well.Just something to think about.Regards,Clare> Old story: I had long hair, cut it short, and now want> long hair again. I was considering extensions and Dawn> said I should not wear them because (I don't recall> her exact words) I should accept that I cut my hair> and just wait until it grew out. I almost read into it> a sort of "punishment" period for what I> did.> What about people who perm or color their hair? Should> they just accept what they have naturally? We have> fake boobs, fake capped teeth, fake noses via plastic> surgery, fake nails, and the list goes on. Is hair any> different?> Is it really such a threat that someone might do> something, such as perm, color, or wear extensions,> that we did naturally? Sure is! When I was in high> school, I had light strawberry blonde hair. Nearly all> of my friends colored their hair. I always took pride> in my "natural" color.> But as I've grown, I've decided it really isn't that> big of a deal if someone wants a cosmetic procedure> that will make her feel better. I'm certainly not> condoning excessiveness! But if extensions or a perm> or highlights will make a person more confident and> happy, then what's the problem?
Clare
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Hey, Jena!Have to say that I think extensions are just a matter of personal choice. I also have to say that I think that you have misinterpreted the letter and spirit of what Dawn said. Diane from Canada is correct with this and I agree with her. As far as your comment about reading into Dawn's comment something of a "punishment" for cutting the mane, you definitely need to check yourself here---like totally out there!I don't know whether you were posting here then, but we actually had a sort of poll on the issue of extensions. Most folks agreed that if you were serious about growing your hair out, it was cheating. Also, there wasn't anything wrong with them per se or even for somebody who just felt better about using them until their hair could get to a length which was reasonable for them.I realize that you do not agree with everything with which Dawn says and that's cool. However, I think that you fail to realize that she has a real commitment to the growth and condition of her hair. She's got the genes to grow, so why shouldn't she let her hair flow? Moreover, she is not a shorter-hair player hater! Short hair is just not for her! There's a real difference in articulating a standard for yourself and holding to it and trying to inflict that standard on others at will.Bye for now,Jade21Old story: I had long hair, cut it short, and now want> long hair again. I was considering extensions and Dawn> said I should not wear them because (I don't recall> her exact words) I should accept that I cut my hair> and just wait until it grew out. I almost read into it> a sort of "punishment" period for what I> did.> What about people who perm or color their hair? Should> they just accept what they have naturally? We have> fake boobs, fake capped teeth, fake noses via plastic> surgery, fake nails, and the list goes on. Is hair any> different?> Is it really such a threat that someone might do> something, such as perm, color, or wear extensions,> that we did naturally? Sure is! When I was in high> school, I had light strawberry blonde hair. Nearly all> of my friends colored their hair. I always took pride> in my "natural" color.> But as I've grown, I've decided it really isn't that> big of a deal if someone wants a cosmetic procedure> that will make her feel better. I'm certainly not> condoning excessiveness! But if extensions or a perm> or highlights will make a person more confident and> happy, then what's the problem?
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> That doesn't help Diane.> Dawn was quite harsh, and as I said in another post,> rather arrogant in her comments to Jena on getting> extenstions. I believe the word "cheating"> was used amongst others. Your statement that> "commitment to this goal demands a lot from the> soul" is once again projecting your (and Dawn's)> feelings on long hair onto Jena.Dear Jena:You know that I been your email buddy for a while now and I wouldn't say anything that isn't true. I believe in you . If you want to play with extensions all the power to you. IN fact not very long ago I posted something on another web site saying I wanted to try a very long wig to see if I really would enjoy having long hair down to my knees. Not a big deal and it can be fun. My only worried about the extension was that it might harm your hair and I ask you to do your research because I have no idea what is involved .Now for you Jerky FleaThe day you are a long hair woman is the day you can actually appreciate how it feels.If you were a long hair male then you would have a very good idea how it feels to have long hair but for women it is diffirent. That is exactly what I mention to you is the lact of knowledge you have on the subject. Don't put words in my mouth. I don't put words in your words. I would appreciate the same treatment back .Plus I really don't appreciate your lack of being a peacekeeper.
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Hi Ally,> People, it's HAIR! It's not a career. It's not a> pregnancy. It's not a relationship. We're talking> about a /look/.You're right, it's not a career, or a pregnancy, or a relationship.Careers are essentially a lifetime work plan -- and, unless we areindependely wealthy without having to work, working is a necessityfor survival. Pregnancy and the ensuing childbirth is a fact ofthe propagation of our species, and it too, is necessary for thesurvival of future generations. And relationships with people canbe and are extraordinarily fulfilling on many levels.But beyond the hard facts of working and species propagation, humanshave a desire to enjoy life, too. Relationships play a criticallyessential part of this enjoyment. So, too, do many other things, eachof which may or may not be appreciated to any degree by any otherperson. Hair is, for some, a part of the enjoyment of life. You viewit as "a look." Some people care more about it than that, and othersthink even less of it than you do. You know what? That's fine. Itdoesn't matter to me. However, a person's attitude towards their hairdoes represent (at least a small) component of their personality.The benefits can and do go beyond just the achievement of a certain"look."> Suddenly long hair is something you have to earn?See it however you want. If you choose to see it as somethingthat need not be earned, all I would hope is that you respectthe right of others (who believe that it is something that isthe result of patience and care) to their opinion.> Growing out your hair is not a spiritual journey; it's> a pain in the ass.What about going to college and getting a degree? To those whoseek academic enlightenment, it can be a journey in which knowledgeis gained every day, every semester, and every year. Sure, it isn'talways fun, especially when the going gets tough, but the rewardsare such that many people undergo the endeavor.> At this point I have read both Dawn and Dave make> disparaging remarks about hair extensions. I believe> Dave mentioned something about people taking the easy> way out and looking for a fast fix instead of putting> in the hard work and time.> If I crave waist-length hair NOW, I> can't have it. It takes four or five years. By that> time, I may want a different look entirely.There are many things we all might want. Wanting is easy. Buteverything has a price. The price of hair extensions, the price ofgrowing your own hair long, the price of being fit, or the price of ahouse on the shore... the general question with all these (and other)things is "am I willing to pay the price, am I willing to do what ittakes, to get what I want?" To me, the way in which a person managesthose wants says a lot about their character.Sure, you can purchase hair extensions and have them attached. If itworks for you, then good for you!> Extensions> are a great way to achieve the desired illusion while> your own hair grows out.They are, to the best of my knowledge and as you say, the best way toachieve the "illusion" of long hair.> They are also good for temporary effects--like when> you're cast in the summer production of Shakespeare in> the Park. *cough, cough, grin*So how's the theater production going? :-)Dave
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> The benefits can and do go beyond just the achievement> of a certain> "look."** And the Heaven's Gate cult thought the comet was more than just a comet.Dave, I can understand being proud of a beautiful head of hair that is entirely your own. But I can't see calling someone else a cheater because she decides to employ artifice while she grows her own hair back out. And I cannot /tolerate/ the implication that she should now live with a length that leaves her unsatisfied as some sort of punishment for cutting her hair. (I reread Dawn's post closely. This is indeed what she expressed.)You're right: People's attitudes toward their hair reveals something about their personality. So what should we think of a woman who is so obsessed by the idea of long hair that she found inner peace and fulfillment by growing it out? I'm sorry, but anyone who thinks growing long hair is an achievement and a major source of self-esteem has her priorities severely out of whack.Yeah, growing out your hair can be a long and frustrating process, but let's not lose our minds and compare it to discovering a vaccine, making a charitable contribution, or earning a degree.> What about going to college and getting a degree?** Doh!In a nutshell, Dave, I can't accept such an outrageous parallelism. One of these things is almost entirely superficial. It's a mass of dead cells. The other is a four-year education, social makeover, identity search, and life lesson. The fact that you could even compare the the two just illustrates my point.> See it however you want. If you choose to see it as> something> that need not be earned, all I would hope is that you> respect> the right of others (who believe that it is something> that is> the result of patience and care) to their opinion.** No way. I'll acknowledge their opinion, because I have no choice. But I can't respect such profound and obsessive vanity. Soemone who worships hair to the point that they consider hair extensions to be some kind of sacrilege....well, let's just say I hope they have a lot more going than what is apparent.The price of hair extensions,> the price of> growing your own hair long, the price of being fit, or> the price of a> house on the shore... the general question with all> these (and other)> things is "am I willing to pay the price, am I> willing to do what it> takes, to get what I want?" To me, the way in> which a person manages> those wants says a lot about their character.** In general, this philosophy has merit. No one should compromise their dreams and principles just to save time and money. Never steal something when you can earn it. Never do "just enough" when you can succeed gloriously. Never give up your lifelong dream of becoming a Rockette to join the ranks of corporate middle management. (Damn!)But Jena isn't compromising anything or anyone. She's still growing her own hair out. She has no personal qualms about wearing extensions in the meantime. But Dawn insists that she /should/ have them and that this is some kind of moral shortcut.So if I get a scar on my face, I shouldn't cover it with makeup while it heals? If I spill ketchup on my blouse, I should wear it all day to teach me a lesson? If I try on an unflattering lipstick at Macy's, I should wear it back to work to remind never to make such a horrid mistake again??> So how's the theater production going? :-)** Ever wear a corset in 90-degree heat? Don't answer that.Ally
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>>> fulfillment by growing it out? I'm sorry, but anyone> who thinks growing long hair is an achievement and a> major source of self-esteem has her priorities> severely out of whack.Dear Ally:If someone goal is grow their hair to a certain length and they reach their goal yes it is acheivement. Every time a person makes goals and reaches them those are acheivements no matter how small or large or how important they are.I seriously don't know one person that feels that growing long hair is a major source of self-esteem. That is totally off based.>
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> ** And the Heaven's Gate cult thought the comet was> more than just a comet.Ally,I am not saying that for you or anybody else that hair has to be seenas anything more than a means to achieve a desired "look." I am merelypointing out that it it is possible that some people can see it ashaving additional "uses" or "value" beyond just lending to a desiredoverall appearance. I have heard some people who have long hair saythat they like the way it feels on their bare skin. I understand thatfeeling. Also, and I'm going to keep this clean, when a man and womanwith long hair engage in "adult" relations, the hair serves both ofthe above-described purposes -- and more!> Dave, I can understand being proud of a beautiful head> of hair that is entirely your own. But I can't see> calling someone else a cheater because she decides to> employ artifice while she grows her own hair back out.Kindly do not attribute words to me which I have not spoken. If youhave a problem with what somebody else has said, please take it upwith that person.> And I cannot /tolerate/ the implication that she> should now live with a length that leaves her> unsatisfied as some sort of punishment for cutting her> hair. (I reread Dawn's post closely. This is indeed> what she expressed.)Again, this is not, and was not, ever, my message to her -- nor do I believeit was Dawn's. If you wish to discuss the nature of Dawn's message, pleasebring it to her attention directly. I am not her spokesman; I am quite certainthat she is perfectly capable of responding to such questions if you addressthem to her.> You're right: People's attitudes toward their hair> reveals something about their personality. So what> should we think of a woman who is so obsessed by the> idea of long hair that she found inner peace and> fulfillment by growing it out?If you haven't walked in Dawn's shoes with regard to her hair experiences,and I know of virtually nobody else on this board who has, I would be verycautious about disrespectfully trivializing that journey.> I'm sorry, but anyone> who thinks growing long hair is an achievement and a> major source of self-esteem has her priorities> severely out of whack.I believe Dawn said, from what she shared with us, that she had decided in herteens to let her hair grow to be very long. It is something that she decidedthat she wanted very much. And she went about doing what was necessary toachieve her goals. Have you seen pictures of her hair? It is in phenomenallyexcellent condition, and one doesn't get such extremely healthy hair at herlength by doing anything harmful to it. This indicates to me that she tookexceedingly good care of it. Regardless of how you might view the worthinessof that pursuit, it is what she undertook, and I think she did a mighty finejob of achieving her goal!Tell me, how can having achieved a goal -- any goal, but much more a goalwhich took many years to achieve -- be seen as a detriment to one's selfesteem? Regardless of the value that you might place on the goal she set,would you be willing to acknowledge that she did indeed set a goal in placeand then achieved it many years later? Especially, given that you acknowledgethat "Yeah, growing out your hair can be a long and frustrating process?"> Yeah, growing out your hair can be a long and> frustrating process, but let's not lose our minds and> compare it to discovering a vaccine, making a> charitable contribution, or earning a degree.> ** Doh!> In a nutshell, Dave, I can't accept such an outrageous> parallelism. One of these things is almost entirely> superficial. It's a mass of dead cells. The other is a> four-year education, social makeover, identity search,> and life lesson. The fact that you could even compare> the the two just illustrates my point.You admitted yourself that "growing out your hair can be a long andfrustrating process." As can getting a college education. It is inthis respect they are both represent a "price paid" for attempting toachieve the goal. I have not placed a value judgment on the relativedesirability, value or purpose of these two very different pursuits.My earlier point was only to illustrate that in order to get a thing,a certain price must be paid.> ** No way. I'll acknowledge their opinion, because I> have no choice. But I can't respect such profound and> obsessive vanity.On what authority do you profess to know where to draw THE line on adetermination of an "obsessive" pursuit of vanity? What about nosejobs and/or breast implants and/or... HAIR EXTENSIONS? Or thetypically mundane such as wearing uncomfortable high heels all day?Who are you to disparage Dawn's pursuits and her achievements of them?> Soemone who worships hair to the> point that they consider hair extensions to be some> kind of sacrilege....I think this is a rather gross mis-interpretation of Dawn's words.> ** In general, this philosophy has merit. No one> should compromise their dreams and principles just to> save time and money. Never steal something when you> can earn it. Never do "just enough" when you> can succeed gloriously. Never give up your lifelong> dream of becoming a Rockette to join the ranks of> corporate middle management. (Damn!)So if ONE of Dawn's goals was to "succeed gloriously" in this (and other!)pursuits, why do you choose to disparage it?> But Jena isn't compromising anything or anyone. She's> still growing her own hair out. She has no personal> qualms about wearing extensions in the meantime. But> Dawn insists that she /should/ have them and that this> is some kind of moral shortcut.Again, I don't think this is an accurate representation of what Dawn has said,but if you wish for her to clarify, please ask her. As I said in an earlierpost, if Jena or anybody else wants to wear extensions, they have every rightto do so.> So if I get a scar on my face, I shouldn't cover it> with makeup while it heals? If I spill ketchup on my> blouse, I should wear it all day to teach me a lesson?> If I try on an unflattering lipstick at Macy's, I> should wear it back to work to remind never to make> such a horrid mistake again??Well, this is quite a liberal extension of a philsophy which clearly hasnot been stated in any form on this board.> ** Ever wear a corset in 90-degree heat? Don't answer> that.(chuckle) No need for worry. I have no desire to try. I take itthat rehearsals are a pain. See the price you are paying for yourpursuit? :-) Some people who don't appreciate the theater have nocomprehension why anybody would go through such hassles. But thatdoesn't make your pursuit -- or the reasons behind them -- any lessvalid for you.Dave
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JerkyFlea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:06pm
Hiya Diane,I believe we have stirred up a bit more animosity between us than was warranted. Just a few points of clarification:> Dear Jena:> You know that I been your email buddy for a while now> and I wouldn't say anything that isn't true. I believe> in you .As you are well aware, the knowledge I have of your opinions or relationships with other members of this forum are through the posts placed on this forum. I knew nothing of any email relationship you had with Jena and thus would have difficulty interpreting the lightness or depth of a particular comment you made to her based on that. Therefore, something that given your relationship may have a certain interpretation to you, may come off in a completely different way when posted in the context of the board discussion (e.g., your "demands a lot from the soul" comment).> Now for you Jerky Flea> The day you are a long hair woman is the day you can> actually appreciate how it feels.If you were a long> hair male then you would have a very good idea how it> feels to have long hair but for women it is diffirent.> That is exactly what I mention to you is the lact of> knowledge you have on the subject.I've acknowledged many times that I don't know the trials and tribulations that you, Dawn, Dave, and others have gone through to achieve your ultra long locks. I won't even pretend to. My point in this discussion all along has been that not everyone with long hair necessarily feels as you do and thus projecting your depth of feeling onto them is unfair. That's not to minimize the commitment you and others have made to acheive your goal, but to simply temper the comments made when someone is contemplating cutting their hair.Here's my small moment of clarity: I believe this all started because it seemed that every discussion that ensued when someone who had long hair was considering cutting it and came to this (or one of the other forums) asking for advice, got responses that fell into three distinct categories:1) The short hair folks who said cut it no matter what and the shorter the better2) The moderates who said long or short is fine, but if you want to cut it, choose something flattering and here are some ideas3) The long hair folks who say cut if you must, but think about it for at least several months and keep in mind that most people regret it.Over time, most of the first group has moved on to greener (or balder) pastures, leaving the last two. Unfortunately, that has resulted in the position of the moderate folks (of which I consider myself one) being seen as the anti-long hair group. I don't think anyone in the moderate group is against long hair (even Zorak), but think that cutting it isn't the end of the world either.Is it possible that this whole thing is just one big misunderstanding?> Don't put words in> my mouth. I don't put words in your words. I would> appreciate the same treatment back .Diane, I apologize if it appears that I put words in your mouth, but re-reading my posts, I genuinely believe I was responding to what was written. Again, I can't interpret context that I'm not aware of and must rely on what I read to form my own reply. Given that, your response to Jena seemed to be in the same vein as Dawn's, just stated much more subtlely (sp?).> Plus I really don't appreciate your lack of being a> peacekeeper.Believe it or not, in most discussions, I try to reach a conclusion agreeable to all parties involved. However, being pragmatic by nature, it is difficult for me to ignore facts presented simply to facilitate peace. If after discussing the facts they are deemed irrelevant or "agree to disagree" points, I'm more than happy to let them go. But, if the points are fundamental to the agreement trying to be reached, then ignoring them is foolhardy because they will surely be revisited if another discussion touches on similar issues. That only serves to reignite the initial argument, and that doesn't benefit anyone.So, I'd be more than happy to play peacemaker in trying to acheive an actual peace, rather than just hoping the issues would go away.As usual,JerkyFleaRelated Link:JerkyFlea's Celebrity Hair Spray
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Diane from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:06pm
> Hiya Diane,> I believe we have stirred up a bit more animosity> between us than was warranted. Just a few points of> clarification:I don't appreciate you putting words in my mouth that I never said . I am not against you . I don't appreciate you jumping to the gun when it is totally false. IN my opinion only you come across as someone that like to argue and stir the pot.( Diane)> As you are well aware, the knowledge I have of your> opinions or relationships with other members of this> forum are through the posts placed on this forum.Then you read english then you would realize that I am very much that says that whatever pleases the person. ( Diane)> I've acknowledged many times that I don't know the> trials and tribulations that you, Dawn, Dave, and> others have gone through to achieve your ultra long> locks. I won't even pretend to.It is obvious you don't appreciate it and I really feel sorry for your wife. Hopefully you are better in person. ( diane)My point in this> discussion all along has been that not everyone with> long hair necessarily feels as you do and thus> projecting your depth of feeling onto them is unfair.Are you talking about me? You are totally off base. I have always been very supported in their choices. ( Diane)> That's not to minimize the commitment you and others> have made to acheive your goal, but to simply temper> the comments made when someone is contemplating> cutting their hair.Again where is this coming from? I have never told someone not to cut their hair.I have always given my support in whatever choice they made. If you are directing commments to me please only direct the comments meant for me. I don't deserve this crap.( Diane)> Here's my small moment of clarity: I believe this all> started because it seemed that every discussion that> ensued when someone who had long hair was considering> cutting it and came to this (or one of the other> forums) asking for advice, got responses that fell> into three distinct categories:> 3) The long hair folks who say cut if you must, but> think about it for at least several months and keep in> mind that most people regret it.Well the reason is because so many people come back and say that they have regretted. I am not sure about several months but I do agree that one should think before doing anything. It is only logical advice. AGain stop putting me in the boat of long hair. I have always supported people 's choices ( Diane)I don't think> anyone in the moderate group is against long hair> (even Zorak), but think that cutting it isn't the end> of the world either.No I never said cutting is the end of the world have I ? ( Diane)> Is it possible that this whole thing is just one big> misunderstanding?JErky Flea you tend to read things in posts that are not there. I think on the way down my hair you better get a good pair of glasses because you are created lots of fog not clarity. ( I am smiling at you)> Diane, I apologize if it appears that I put words in> your mouth, but re-reading my posts, I genuinely> believe I was responding to what was written.No you weren't responding to what you were reading . YOu are creating things in your head. Again I support people's choices . ( Diane)Just because I am a long hair female and my goals are to have longer hair it doesn't mean that I am against someone that has short hair nor I have pounce on them saying they should have the same personal goals as I do. ( Diane)Again, I> can't interpret context that I'm not aware of and must> rely on what I read to form my own reply. Given that,> your response to Jena seemed to be in the same vein as> Dawn's, just stated much more subtlely (sp?).You see one rose and you think that all roses are the same. Stop that!!! ( Diane)You have something against Dawn. Take it up with her and stop putting me in the same boat. This is what I will accuse you of Jerky Flea . You see one long hair female and you think that all of them think the same. You really need a very good pair of perscription eyeglasses.Diane From Canada>
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>> It is obvious you don't appreciate it and I really> feel sorry for your wife. Hopefully you are better in> person. ( diane)>Jerky Flea I have to say sorry about this comment. You have mention that she is growing her hair and I really hope that you support her choices. It is horrible when a husband doesn't support her choices so when you are debating things with the rest of us long hair people I really hope that you remember that you are living with one.Diane From Canada
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:06pm
> Here's my small moment of clarity: I believe this all> started because it seemed that every discussion that> ensued when someone who had long hair was considering> cutting it and came to this (or one of the other> forums) asking for advice, got responses that fell> into three distinct categories:> 1) The short hair folks who said cut it no matter what> and the shorter the better> 2) The moderates who said long or short is fine, but> if you want to cut it, choose something flattering and> here are some ideas> 3) The long hair folks who say cut if you must, but> think about it for at least several months and keep in> mind that most people regret it.> Over time, most of the first group has moved on to> greener (or balder) pastures, leaving the last two.> Unfortunately, that has resulted in the position of> the moderate folks (of which I consider myself one)> being seen as the anti-long hair group. I don't think> anyone in the moderate group is against long hair> (even Zorak), but think that cutting it isn't the end> of the world either.> Is it possible that this whole thing is just one big> misunderstanding?Hi JerkyFlea,I don't see a "distinct" difference between your category 2 and 3definitions. As for me, my thoughts on what I think is "the mostappropriate" course of action (for the person) depends in large part onhow they make their case. If a person says that they are indecisive,thoughtful people in *either* camp (as you define them) suggest methodsto help the person to make their decision. If a person says "I havelong hair and I'm going to have it cut," it's pointless to even commentbecause the person is only informing everyone of their plan.It's not fair to anybody (and I mean, anybody) to state a hypotheticalperspective, frame it as a sort of "political party line," and apply itto a group where persons a, b, and c are on "one side of the fence,"and persons d, e, and f are on the other side. Each and every one ofus has a voice and can speak for our own selves.One other thing... I have yet to see evidence of anybody expressing thenotion that "cutting long hair is the end of the world." If thisoutrageous statement is truly what you glean from the messages of someor any of the folks out, I would like to politely suggest that you studytheir words more closely. What you have said is tantamount to attributingextreme points of view to a group which you do not consider yourself a part.So your comment could be seen as rather inflammatory, don't you think?Respectfully,Dave
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> Diane From CanadaI forgot to mention what I meant by demand a lot from the soul. Yes I made that comment to Jena and it wasn' bad at all to make that comment. In fact it is very logical and simple to understand if you really think about it.I was just saying to grow long hair demands a lot of patience which at times I personally don't have as I check the clock on the wall etc lolSupposely hair only grows about 1/2 inch per month. I think mine only grows mabye 1/4 inch per month.One has to be determine and at times I have been totally discourage by this goal and complain many times about it.You have to be happy with the results and at time I really hate the results because my goal is for my hair to reach my knees and it is taking forever.At times I have to fight with a hair brush as my hair is wavy. I only learn not very long ago which type of hairbrush to use which made a huge diffirence plus I can't brush my hair during the day or it gets frizzy.When I am stressed out my hair tends to fall so I had to learn to relaxed and take care of me.When I go to sleep I have to take precautions at times not to pull my hair . Boy that hurts.To have long hair demands a good sense of humor as I can't tell you the numerous times I been embarrass, caught or whatever because of my hair. Some of the events are in the bloopers. Lets just say I tend to stay away from cats for one thing lolTo have long hair you really have to be determine to wait and take care of it during those years of growing.Now Jerky Flea yes every long hair woman on this board would agree it demands a lot from their soul.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JerkyFlea Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2000 at 9:06pm
Diane says:>Jerky Flea I have to say sorry about this comment. You have mention that she is growing her hair and I really hope that you support her choices. It is horrible when a husband doesn't support her choices so when you are debating things with the rest of us long hair people I really hope that you remember that you are living with one. Diane,First, thanks for the apology. The raging hostility of your first post surprised me, especially when I was trying to clarify things as I saw them from what I read. Now then:1) If you had paid attention to MY posts, you would have seen that I had said that I LOVE my wife's long hair and have actually TALKED HER OUT OF CUTTING IT on more than one occasion. If I have to update my glasses prescription, then you need to invest in a course on "Reading for Comprehension". :)2) If I lumped you in with Dawn it was due to the fact you defended her post by attempting to restate what she said in a less pointed manner (it's not worth it at this point to go back and start quoting, since it is usually ignored anyway). My point was that Dawn's message was rather arrogant and that your rewording didn't necessarily soften the blow. If you were actually expressing a different aspect of your opinion unrelated to what Dawn said, then I missed it. Again, I only know what I read.And no, I don't think all long haired people are the same. However, the small group that posts regularly here there is a definite similarity in opinions.JFRelated Link:JerkyFlea's Celebrity Hair Spray
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