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LONG-HAIRED WOMEN DON'T DESERVE THE BRUSHOFF

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brulist View Drop Down
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    Posted: June 01 2000 at 11:34am
a clip from the chicago tribune. god bless women who resist the pressure of the fashion nazis!!



Copyright 2000 Chicago Tribune Company
Chicago Tribune

May 31, 2000 Wednesday, NORTHWEST EDITION

SECTION: WOMAN NEWS; Pg. 7; ZONE: FNW; First person.

LENGTH: 959 words

HEADLINE: LONG-HAIRED WOMEN DON'T DESERVE THE BRUSHOFF

BYLINE: By Lauren Ruby. Special to the Tribune. Lauren Ruby is an attorney who
lives and works in Chicago.

BODY:
Recently I've been considering polishing my image. I've worn the same clothes
to work for years and I can't remember the last time I had a manicure, let alone
a makeover. I wanted some expert advice so I picked up a copy of "Put Your Best
Foot Forward: Make a Great Impression by Taking Control of How Others See You"
(Scribner, $24). The authors, a pair of seasoned jury consultants, maintain that
appearance, body language, voice, communication style, speech content, actions
and environment project often-indelible ideas about who we are and how we're
likely to act. They identify characteristics that send undesirable messages and
suggest that readers interested in improving the way others respond to them
develop personal "impression management plans."

I didn't like the taste "impression management" left in my mouth, but I kept
reading. I couldn't deny there were valuable lessons to be learned in
discovering how others perceived me, whether I chose to act upon that
information or not. I tried to set judgment aside and take a look at myself
through the eyes of a stranger. How did I come across? What did my words,
demeanor, handshake, clothing, car and house say about me?

From reading the book, I realized that people may assume I'm less capable and
competent because of the fact that I drive an old car and dog hair clings to my
coats and sweaters.

Those I address may doubt my trustworthiness when I rely upon big words to
get the point across. And the relatively large amount of personal space I like
to maintain around me may mark me as distant, even unfriendly. These lessons
hurt, but I'd vowed to be tough. I could handle it.

I kept my cool until halfway through the book, when I read, "your hairstyle
should be an important component of your impression management plan." Uh oh, I
thought. Here it comes. Sure enough, after decrying long hair on men, the
authors (a man and a woman) stated in no uncertain terms that if an "older
woman" wanted to make a good impression she, too, should cut her hair, for
"older women who wear their hair long are judged as less competent,
sophisticated and socially adept." I was aboard a crowded commuter train when I
read the offending paragraph. My long hair was still damp from the shower and
I'd been swishing it around absentmindedly, trying to get it dry. I felt my face
flush with embarrassment.

But wait--could I be sure they were talking to me? The authors sidestepped
this issue neatly in that they never defined their demographic. Perhaps I was
off the hook, at least for the time being.

While I'd look out of place at a fraternity party, I haven't exactly achieved
senior citizen status, either. Then again, maybe it worked like the prices in a
trendy boutique. If I had to ask, I had my answer.

I buried my face in the book, but it didn't get any better. "When we see an
older woman with long hair, our antennae quiver. Something doesn't fit. Is she
insecure? Doesn't she accept her age gracefully? Does she keep her hair long in
the hope that it makes the rest of us think she is younger than she really is?
Doesn't she realize her hairstyle is too 'young' for a woman her age?"

For shame! How could I show my face at work? I fought the impulse to run back
home and hide under the covers. I could understand how people might be startled
when their expectations were undermined. But would they really assume I was
immature, ignorant or just plain odd, all because of the way I wore my hair?
Could such a small thing actually irritate or even anger them? Apparently so.

It hardly seems fair, given the fact that my very identity is wrapped up in
having a substantial head of hair. It's always been the first thing people
notice about me; complete strangers comment on it all the time.

I've never worn it short save for one misguided experiment in high school
some 20 years ago. Sure, I complain because I can't run a comb through it, it
takes forever to dry, and with the least bit of humidity it's out to here. But
cut it? That's another story.

Contrary to what the authors suggest, I don't keep my hair long in order to
look young. If anything, my hair renders my age more apparent, particularly
given the fact that I tend to dress simply and wear very little makeup. The
lines on my face appear more pronounced without bangs or short layers to divert
attention from them. Oddly enough, I'm enjoying the effect. Although I'm sad to
think so much of my life has passed so quickly, I'm relieved that people finally
are taking me more seriously because I look my age. And I like to think long
hair lends me an air of dignity, as it does in a number of cultural contexts
other than our own.

Even before I read the book I sensed my resistance to cutting my hair had
turned into a small act of defiance, a mini-rebellion. Why should I deprive
myself of something that still looks good simply to fit in? I get a kick out of
thwarting expectations and thumbing my nose at convention. There are also
practical reasons for my reluctance to cut my hair. A head of long, thick hair
keeps me very warm during frigid Chicago winters. When I pull it back in a
ponytail on a cold day, I shiver and wonder how those with short hair stay
comfortable. And finally, no sooner did my mother lose her hair (to cancer, by
way of chemotherapy) than her life followed suit. If my hair is flourishing,
what happened to her can't possibly happen to me.

So if you happen to spot a mature woman with luxurious locks, don't be too
quick to draw conclusions. She might have a host of perfectly valid reasons for
hanging onto her hair. And if pride and vanity play some small part in her
decision, well, can you really blame her? She might be older and wiser but,
after all, she's only human.

Chicago Tribune, May 31, 2000

LANGUAGE: ENGLISH

LOAD-DATE: May 31, 2000

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Beatnik Guy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Beatnik Guy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 01 2000 at 8:15pm
Cool...thanks for posting this. Excellent to see a long haired woman defending her decision in the press!
Chris
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dianefromcanada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 02 2000 at 6:11pm
I reallly enjoyed your article. Thanks for sharing this.

I guess as long as we are the way we are as human beings we will tend to judge others eventhought it is very wrong.
Who really cares if someone has hair or not or the lenght of it. It doesn't make a person more competent or less nor does it make a person more special or less for the length of their hair.
This really bugs me this whole thing when hair becomes more important then what is inside the heart in our personal lives or when hair is the barrier of what people think we can accomplish.
Hair shouldn't be a factor as long we keep ourselves looking professional, clean etc.

dianefromcanada
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveDecker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 04 2000 at 9:57pm

While I applaud Ms. Ruby's sense of self-determination, I am thoroughly unimpressed with the authors of the book, "Put Your Best Foot Forward: Make a Great Impression by Taking Control of How Others See You."

The authors of subject book counsel both cowardice and prejudice. They advise kowtowing to convention in a misguided attempt to control (the perceptions of) others, instead of rightfully criticizing the vast majority of people (themselves included) for committing a series of appearance-based prejudices.

The authors exposé is an example of the smug arrogance of the majority position. Their denouncements of long hair seek to (1) pressure those who have it to surrender their individual pursuit of happiness, and (2) to reinforce the self-righteousness of those who already have short hair.

How many copies of this book would be sold if the authors were to criticize the vast majority of people for their appearance-based prejudices and to suggest that they undertake a critical self-evaluation of their own adverse prejudgement of the character of a person by the length of his or her hair? How many people would choose to be the recipient of unfavorable criticism over being the recipient of reassuring (but undeserved) strokes? Not many, and my guess is that the authors would probably sell a lot fewer books if they took the "high" road. This seems to suggest that the authors may themselves be guilty of insufficient courage, sacrificing the opportunity to truly enlighten their readers for the $ake of greater book $ale$.

The authors are reportedly seasoned jury consultants, experienced with the proceedings of the judicial system. Yet, to the best of my knowledge, what matters in a court of law are the facts -- "who said what" and "who did what" -- not "who wore what." In the area that I live, there was recently a series of trials (one for each of those accused for their participation in a certain high-profile crime). The accused had apparently taken their cue from the authors of subject book (or others who preach the same mantra), presumably in the hopes of gaining sympathy from the jury for being "dashingly-coiffed and stylishly-suited"... but the ploy failed, for they were all found guilty as charged.

As fate would have it, I have been called to jury duty within several weeks. I can't help but wonder just how much the attorneys will love me and my thigh-length hair. :-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ally Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2000 at 10:09am
Dave~

I understand what you're saying, but does it make sense to criticize the authors for appearance-based prejudices when their book is on /image/? How could they have possibly written that book without tsk-ing at /any/ aspect of physical appearance?

I don't see how criticizing long hair on older women would increase their profits. My feeling is that they probably believe what they wrote.

ANY advice they could give is bound to shock, embarrass, or infuriate someone. "Don't wear flesh-colored hose." "Never wear fuschia lipstick with coral blush." "If you're overweight, do something about it." "Short women should not wear long skirts."

All they can offer is /their/ experience and opinions. Presumably you value their expertise, or you wouldn't buy the book.

I'm nearly six feet tall, and every "image" guide I've ever read had advised me on how to dress to minimize my height. Women over 5'8" are listed under "figure problems." Well, I don't have a figure problem. My body is killer, and I wear three-inch heels to aggrandize my stature. Am I mad at the writers? No. I just don't read those books, because I know what to expect.

They are addressing a particular audience that /wants/ to conform and be safe.


Ally
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sunnshine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 06 2000 at 10:12am
Hey Brulist :-)
I just wanted to thank you for posting that article, I really enjoyed reading it. I loved the words she used to explain her feelings about the silly writings of these absurd authors.
Take care
Lynn
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HD_EU Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 11 2005 at 4:39am
Dear Brulist,

when you read a book, you read an opinion. The authors discuss the general perception of a person. As we all know, perceptions can be wrong. But as our communication with others is just based on 5% words (I read somewhere - maybe a bit off the mark too), the visual perception of a person will be the first thing we associate with that person, until we get to know them. When in contact with clients, unluckily the first impression decides whether you have a new customer or not. Imagine a dentist. Due to a lot of misfortunes, his teeth look awful, but they are very healthy (helathier than after severe bleaching). Would you trust him at first sight?

We're only human ... prejudice (often based on superficial perception) happens and even when we do our best to avoid it, it could happen unconsciously.
Dave, I sincerely hope you always achieve in avoiding prejudices, it would be a warm and welcome change. Take care in avoiding prejudices against the "vast majority" too .
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sparrowhawk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 12 2005 at 8:56pm
All right. This is very excellent subject for man who like women. Some of us like to know what we like. So we research... and, we find... we know nothing!

Yikes!

Why do women get the brush off? We have been in a media world that says we have to be, act and conform to a norm?

What?

Long hair...go back 120 years. If your hair was cut... it was insult to you.

Something happened.

World wars happened.

While men were fighting, women made ammunition. Factories were full of women in grease, finding their long hair having the potential to get into the machines. To help there loved ones in a foreign land they made the bobb.

Obvious, no one liked it.

Then, Scissors became sharp and stylists of the modern age were born.

With the help of models in magazines and in "Motion Pictures", it got worse.

What was once beautiful tresses became a stylists heaven and short cuts became known.

Media = conformity and hoping everyone will like you.

Long hair became "young" material and "grown ups" have shorter hair.

Check out a women's magazine on hair styles of the famous or infamous.

Every women and man have this "norm" to fallow.

You are on an interview and you have excellent credentials and could do the job perfectly at the salary they want. Who gets it.

The short haired girl.

Watch the Teens as the start school with long locks and end up with shorter hair. College... graduation... it's gone. They want a job.

We still live in society that has these rules and as long as the idea of long hair = young = unexperienced and brush off... you are in trouble.

What do you do?

For now, I nice business suit.. made for a women. Your hair. French braid and clip the end with something so it is under the nape of the neck. (It's out of the way and yopu are ready to show that man who you are and what you can do!

Light makeup. Blonde.. just mascara. Brunette, use a little eye liner so the idiot can see you eyes and how you wrap him around your fingers.

Use light fragrances.

Now.. the job is yours!

Come home and realise that hair and get into something inviting and comfortable and a fragrance that can be noticed.

Perfessional women becomes a goddess.

In the 1990's.. women news casters wore their hair to the tip s of their shoulder.

In 2005... they have it longer.

Your winning! Young lady.. which is anyone available!











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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HD_EU Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 13 2005 at 3:06am
Originally posted by Sparrowhawk Sparrowhawk wrote:

Long hair...go back 120 years. If your hair was cut... it was insult to you.


Well, there was De Medici who voluntary cut her hair and made it fashion more than 300 years ago. Then there was the French Revolution were at first women cut their hair (bob lenghth) and wore red ribbons around their neck to illustrate a close one had been decaptitated. Then it became fashion too.

Originally posted by Sparrowhawk Sparrowhawk wrote:

World wars happened.

While men were fighting, women made ammunition. Factories were full of women in grease, finding their long hair having the potential to get into the machines. To help there loved ones in a foreign land they made the bobb.

Obvious, no one liked it.


This is certainly true for the WOII. In WOI the sufragettes tried to get voting rights and short hair was not in fashion. Then the Roaring Twenties - with the bob as icon. So I guess some liked it anyway ... shortcut were in fashion during WOII too (remember the diva's and all the women who followed???).

I do have that agree that the perception is that short haired women (or with an updo) are more professional. This has been the case since the Romans (only women of lesser moral values who performed for money) where loose hair was regarded as sinful.
We are more than 2000 years later, but part of it stays in the mind of people I guess. They did rule Europe for a while ....

Thus the book did nothing else but point out and confirm that the perception is still there. Fighting it is a slow process, since it concerns the minds of many. As always, those who fight are less popular and have a harder time convincing people of their capacities. Eg a real punk-adept male will have to proove he's 200% better than the next before he gets a job ... The same applies for males - long hair = more effort to communicate your capacities. No suit, dito. Luckily their has been some progress, but it will take a few generations more. Hopefully the pendula won't swing in the opposite direction then, because then we'll never stop.

A hairstyle is a free choice. Every choice has its consequences. Non conformity is a choice too, with its consequences, how unjust, unfair and ridicilous they may be.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Carmichael Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 13 2005 at 3:56pm
I can tell that many wish that visual discrimination doesn't exist but that doesn't change the fact that in fact it still does.

If you read up the topic, youll find that most of it is actually unconcious behavior influenced by our early conditioning of norms.

I'm not so sure that that's always a bad thing either, especially with those to whom we choose to do business.

Big businesses are well aware of these norms and know that just like your personal choices, corporate dress codes influence perceptions that may have an effect their bottom lines.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ACCOLADY Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 17 2005 at 2:31pm

What an interesting thread, and yet I've managed never to read it before.

Bravo , Dave, for your excellent response to Make a Great Impression by Taking Control of How Others See You.

Idle thoughts to follow, nothing more.

'Make a great impression' Hmm. Make, as in 'create'. What I generally create, or try to create, is cleanliness. Neatness. Not for others. For myself. Hair pulled back, I'm busy. Minimal makeup. No desire to wear much. Just enough to accentuate. Clothing I prefer. Not based on a fashion must list.

Yet some will judge or screen until they find a fault. This seems to be an effort on their part rather than an unconscious thought as mentioned above. 

Example? According to my own standards of self, hair is polished, makeup flawless, shoes, clothing, everything. Yet it never fails, you run into the one woman who brazenly looks you up and down seeming to search for that ONE perceived flaw. It is then, and only then, that she looks away.

No semblance of an appreciative overview, this is more of an effort to scrutinize based on nothing more than appearance.

Perhaps your belt is just a shade different than your shoes?  Should this be a concern for anyone? And if so, for Pete's sake, WHY?

As for the appearance screener, I often pretend not to notice her giving the old up and down, then turn to her with a look that hopefully speaks volumes. Now that you've found IT, that FLAW, have you assessed my character? Is it my turn, and will you so gracefully participate as I have in your silly façade?

The authors exposé is an example of the smug arrogance of the majority position. Their denouncements of long hair seek to (1) pressure those who have it to surrender their individual pursuit of happiness, and (2) to reinforce the self-righteousness of those who already have short hair.

 You go, Dave!


 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eKatherine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 17 2005 at 2:47pm
This is cool. Did you notice Dave posted this in June of 2000, but didn't join til November of that year?


Just looking for a few good hair slaves - is that too much to ask?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Viktoria Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 17 2005 at 4:04pm

I have never actually met, I don´t think, anyone who gave a toss if I or anyone else wore their hair long or short or not at all. Seems to me only people who get paid for having such opinions care enough to have them. And insecure people will always look for strong, opinionated people to follow, so sure there is money in writing such books and articles.

The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveDecker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 17 2005 at 5:58pm
Originally posted by eKatherine eKatherine wrote:

This is cool. Did you notice Dave posted this in June of 2000, but didn't join til November of that year?

Hi Katherine,

I believe that the boards were open to anybody before November 2000.  I don't believe that membership ability existed until then.  In part, creating memberships helped avoid problems with imposters posing as certain well-known posters.  For several years, posting was open to members and non-members, and as we all know, the current iteration of the board software requires membership to post.

FWIW, I have been posting on the Hairboutique hair talk forums since 1998.

Hi Karen Marie,

I wouldn't concern myself with the woman/women performing these assessments of the minutae of your appearance.  Pathetic that they have nothing more important to occupy their thoughts.



Edited by DaveDecker
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