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Is it rude to give a compliment?

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LiliBeach View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LiliBeach Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 21 2005 at 12:41am

I am an old fashioned southern belle and I love compliments......when they are well intended.

I also expect men to hold the door for me when we both reach the door at the same time.  Here in the glorious south about 80% of the men do treat ladies with respect and kindness.  They even stand up when you enter a room.  I always thank them and they smile like gentlemen and say you're welcome.

I have 12 year old boy whom I have taken pride in teaching him these intentions and manners. I always brag on him when he practices these manners.  He even lets me hold his arm when we are walking in somewhere, such as church or a nice restaurant, just like a southern gentleman.

This is a lost art in some parts of the country and even looked at as insulting to some women.  As for me I LOVE being treated like a lady and I LOVE living in the south!!!

I am a professional Hairstylist/Haircolorist with 19 years experience. I have traveled all over the country for my advanced education. I am also a salon owner.:)........and I LOVE Redken!!!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kuroneko Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 21 2005 at 5:12am

I usually hold the door for others, but if someone holds the door for me (male or female) I'm not insulted.

I don't take compliments well, though, because I usually think they're just saying it to be polite or whatever.  I rarely find any sincerity in what people say.

More awesome than a manatee!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fatmoogas Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 05 2005 at 5:19am

I agree with old world manners too, Lilibeach.

 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fatmoogas Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 05 2005 at 5:21am
But what's it got to do with hair politics? Does it translate into a love for classic styles?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kuroneko Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 07 2005 at 11:47pm
So you're into the two-foot-tall white powdered wigs, then?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote DaveDecker Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 08 2005 at 8:24pm
Originally posted by Kuroneko Kuroneko wrote:

So you're into the two-foot-tall white powdered wigs, then?

Those "do's" were but a fad, lasting just a sliver of time more than 200 years ago... (I guess we really don't know what style(s) are being referenced)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote snoopval Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 30 2005 at 12:05am
Phil, i don't know if your still on here or not, but i have to say that as a woman i love compliments, and i am truly sorry at how rudely yours was recieved.  I do a lot with my looks, hair etcetera, and when people notice that i'm very flattered, it's ashame now a days, that common politeness is considered rude.  The only thing i can say possibly on this womans behalf is as a woman i do get many unsolicited remarks on my appearance and lots of unasked for advice.  Maybe this is due to the fact that i'm still in my twenties, but i will have men who are little more than aquaintences tell me they don't like my hair short, or they liked it better red, or blonde.  I have had men, when i'm drinking a soft drink who i have never seen before tell me i shouldn't drink that, because it will ruin my figure, so maybe she was just sick of the rude comments, and you ran into her at a bad time.
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phil View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote phil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 09 2005 at 11:26am
Hi Snoopval, yes I'm still here, only not as often. I think your reply confirms that the question can really apply to any aspect of a woman's appearance, be it clothes, shoes, hair or whatever. It is a shame that a person cannot give a compliment without being considered rude, I guess we have just become a more cynical society these days, where at once we used to first look for the good in people, now we assume the bad. On the other hand, maybe there just are more rude men out there which makes women, quite rightly, feel guarded. What is certain is, times have changed. 
phil
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LisaSue Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 08 2005 at 11:48am
I recently cut off about eight inches from my waist-length hair.  The ends were just looking scraggly and bad and split in general, I can say that the hair didn't look so healthy.  Although my hair is hardly short now, it's shorter than it was obviously (but still long enough to have lots of fun with different ways of styling it and putting it up and stuff like that), but people's reactions are so funny.  I get a lot of compliments on my hair but people seem so surprised that I'd cut that much off.  I do like compliments but find it more amusing to watch people's reactions at a fairly significant haircut.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote snoopval Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 03 2005 at 7:38am
I agree Phill, our society has gotten a lot colder, and not for the better.  I do think it's what i said though about men feeling they can make unsolicited suggestions.  Saying i look lovely today is one thing, saying I should have stayed a red head, or that i shouldn't eat that or i'll gain weight is quite another. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote rapture Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 30 2006 at 5:31pm
I would say those kinds of compliments can be considered rude. A compliment from a strange man feels condenscending. They did not get their haircut for you.

Edited by rapture
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote anne6000 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 15 2006 at 11:43am
I think it depends on the situation.  A compliment from a friend is always appreciated!  However, I think it's veryinappropriate in the workplace or to a total stranger.  If someone asked where I got my haircut because they would like a cut in the same way, that's different.  My hair isn't unusual, so I'd be very wary of a stranger said something to me.  Even if my hair was different, a total stranger would make me wonder why the person said something.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote x-littleme-x Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 26 2006 at 11:09am
I love getting compliments when I try something new. I compliment people if I like their hair too. It makes people feel better as you rechognise the changes they have done. Recently I cutmy hair quite short and I went to school quite nervous. On the way to school I was stopped by a group of girls in my year and they just didnt stop complimenting my new haircut! I was so happy and even though I decided to grow it I know how unsure I could have been if no one had said anything.
 
I am quite shy and to be honest that time when so many people were complimenting me I said thankyou but I may have not have seemed that grateful as I was quite shy.
 
Dont stop complimenting because everyone loves a compliment now and again!
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote anne6000 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 26 2006 at 8:05pm
What if no one said anything at all about your new haircut?  Would it make you feel bad or remorse since no one complimented you?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SummerM Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: September 03 2006 at 9:05am
I don't think those that like compliments are saying that they live their life by them- so if they don't get them it crushes them.
 
I think those of us that like them are saying- we appreciate when we get them but if we don't thats fine too.
I don't think there is anything wrong with compliments, the contrary, I like them too.
 
Its too bad that we lve in a world where people are becoming more careful about a compliment for fear of a negative reaction.
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote laidbaqq Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 28 2006 at 3:52pm
I give compliments whenever I see something I like on someone. Would that not be better than just staring at the person? I don't think I have ever had someone reply rudely to any compliments that I have given (and I compliment atleast 3 strangers a day, male or female).
 
Why would it be inappropriate for a stranger to give someone a compliment? I guess I don't understand because my compliments are only the truth and when a stranger gives me a compliment, I gladly accept it with a smile and 'thank you'.
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