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Why did you cut it? Printed From: HairBoutique.com Category: Hair Talk Forum Name: Short Hair Forum Description: Devoted to the special needs of short hair URL: https://talk.hairboutique.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=10328 Printed Date: April 24 2024 at 12:46am Topic: Why did you cut it? Posted By: Rod Subject: Why did you cut it? Date Posted: May 20 2003 at 1:25pm The feminine ideal of beauty is the flowing long hair. At least, according to male dominated society. The ingénue in movies has long hair. Most women grow up with long hair. Most guys like long hair and one of the major reasons for a woman’s look is to be attractive to men. An idea hits a woman one day. Maybe it comes from a friend or from seeing a photo or because the hairdresser convinces her that she should go short. The most influential is the celebrity. Demi Moore, Jennifer Anniston, and Linda Evangalista had many women cutting their hair in the 90’s. Sometimes, it’s because of a life change: New job, new city, break-up with the boyfriend, or new baby. Shorthaired women talk about feeling more confident, more individual after the haircut. And some talk about how much they regret it and grow it out. The idea to go short seems to me to be mostly psychological. Why did you do it? Replies: Posted By: uzma Date Posted: May 20 2003 at 5:10pm (deleted) Sorry Rod I misconstrued your question. I'll go back to the long hair board now :-) Uzma ------------- Uzi Posted By: princessmonica Date Posted: May 20 2003 at 6:11pm delete ------------- http://www.msnusers.com/monicasanders - http://www.msnusers.com/monicasanders Posted By: Rod Date Posted: May 20 2003 at 6:23pm I thought I posted this on the short hair board. Instead, Uzma and Princess Monica have shared why they grew their hair. Posted By: princessmonica Date Posted: May 20 2003 at 7:44pm delete ------------- http://www.msnusers.com/monicasanders - http://www.msnusers.com/monicasanders Posted By: Rod Date Posted: May 20 2003 at 8:32pm Nothing wrong with doing it for yourself. I understand where you're coming from with that. That's very centered and together. There isn't anything wrong with changing your look for someone you love or because it's trendy. In fact, it can be a wonderful act of love for a woman to change her look for your boyfriend or husband and it can be fun to go with a trendy look. As long as she makes the final decision, a woman's reasons for growing or cutting her hair can be whatever she wants them to be. Posted By: hairguy00 Date Posted: May 20 2003 at 10:28pm lets keep this short hair orientented folks ------------- Posted By: Unregistered Guest Date Posted: May 21 2003 at 6:41pm I just went short gradually over several years. .....First from shoulder length to a nice bob cut. -(liked that but wanted to go shorter.) ....Then a shorter bob, tucked it back behind my ears. .....Then a short crop. Then a shorter crop. .....Finally to my current style, shorted crop pixie look, near buzzed gradually shaped to 1/2 inch long on top combed forward in super-short bangs. trimmed every three weeks at the salon, just a quick trim does the trick. So...just gradually fell in love with the short look for myself. Posted By: demodoll Date Posted: May 29 2003 at 11:52am I was tired of the same old style and my hairdresser convinced me that I would like a super short style better. I did but found it was much more work than a mid length bob so I am going back to the easy bob. I'll probably get bored again though.... I do have to disagree with one thing though. I don't think most women with long hair have it for men. I think they just think they look better with long hair or they find it easier to style (there is something to be said for a ponytail when all else has failed). Long hair is much more forgiving of styling mistakes and can be pulled back or shoved behind the ears. Most women I know mostly dress for other women. Men don't really notice or appreciate the details like other women do. ------------- "It is better to look marvelous than to feel marvelous" Billy Crystal Posted By: Rod Date Posted: May 29 2003 at 12:25pm Demodoll, you make good points. Bad hair days are easier to cover up with long hair. With some gel and a hair band, hair can just be put into a ponytail. My girlfriend lets her grow to her shoulders or a little longer, then cuts it just below her chin. She agrees that the shorter look is much better on her, since the longer hair drags her features down. I've mentioned her to that since her hair lookes better shorter, she should try her hair even shorter than chin length. She is afraid she won't be able to put her hair up if it's that short. And she likes to put her hair up if she doesn't feel like stying it. Part of why women like long hair is men. Many women have said to me they love how their long hair attracts the guys. Add that to the idea that society has put out that long hair is feminine and you have a strong influcence on women. I don't want to diminish how much a long-haired woman likes long hair. Women do make up their own minds. And long hair can look gorgeous. There's a friend of mine who really wants very short hair, but she has the most gorgeous mane of long hair. Everyone, including herself, admires it, and it would be a shame to cut it. So, she hasn't. Every now and again she talks about wanting hair above her ears in a short pixie. Posted By: tina m Date Posted: May 29 2003 at 10:23pm I disagree Rod that society says that women are more feminine with long hair. That was true years ago but it's not true now. Look at the famous fashion models and actresses. Almost all of them have at times worn their hair short or very short and very few of them have real long hair,-(halfway down their back or longer)-. Most women you see on the street, at the mall, or in the workplace don't have long hair either. Most women you see on dates with their guys at the movies or at clubs don't have long hair. Bob cuts, typical shoulder length cuts and even short styles are MUCH more common than long hair on women. Which, -(since I wear my hair so short)-, is fine with me. ------------- tina Posted By: Rod Date Posted: May 30 2003 at 11:41am While many actresses have cut their hair short, most who break into the business in their teens or 20's have their hair long. Recent discoveries Marley Shelton, Mena Suvari, Shannon Elizabeth, Tara Reid, et al. get parts as the ingenue. There are exceptions, but for the most part this is the case. I like short hair on women, but 90% of guys prefer long hair. Maybe more. A lot of them prefer only long hair. Some women who want to cut their hair keep it long for guys. How many times have you heard "my boyfriend doesn't want me to cut it." or "my husband hates that I went short?" I'm not saying it's right. I think it isn't. Short-haired women, to me, are often more attractive. They catch my eye. I never really noticed Marley Shelton or Julia Stiles until after they cut their hair. Look at shampoo commercials. The women have long hair. Long-haired women are described as beautiful, sexy, sultry, a vixen. Short-haired women are described as cute, perky, spunky. Women with long hair are flirty. Women with short hair are confident. Society thinks a certain way, whether we agree or not. Posted By: KathyAnn Date Posted: May 30 2003 at 1:48pm I have to agree with my lady Tina on this issue and not because she looks great and very feminine with her short hairstyle. Very young teenage boys like longer hair on girls but as they become men they often prefer attractive shorter styles on women. I don't know where you got that "90%" stat. Surveys I've read in women's fashion magazines that interview hetrosexual men(and I mean men not boys) indicate that men actually like short to medium styles on women. Bob cuts on women are very popular with guys, so is shoulder length hair and pixies. I don't know where in the world you read that 90% of grown men like women with long hair. That's a 1950s cliche if there ever was one. Even though I'm a lesbian most of the women I know are hetro and date or are married to men. Most of them have short or medium length hair and they don't seem to have any problem getting handsome guys. One last thing; This is a short hair board. The purpose of this board set up for us by Hairguy is to Encourage and Cultivate attractive short styles, not to make up silly and inaccurate stats such as over 90% of grown men like long haired women better than shorter lengthed hair on women. That's just silly and obviously not accurate. Like Tina said, look around, see who guys are dating. You will notice that most of those women( I emphasize WOMEN NOT TEENAGE GIRLS) have moderate-medium or short hair. At least you find that in most major cities. I wear my hair in a medium length bob I have no axe to grind about hair length, but this is a Short Hair board. Let's respect that and not exagerate things against short haired women. That defeats the purpose of this board and it isn't the reality of life in America. ------------- Posted By: Rod Date Posted: May 30 2003 at 2:32pm By stating that men prefer long hair, I'm not slamming short hair. That doesn't mean short-haired women can't get guys or they're not attractive. For the most part, I think they are more attractive. Being among the guys who like short hair, I have the perspective of knowing how small that minority is. I wouldn't venture to tell you what lesbians prefer, since you know more than me. Guys are an influence on the women they date or marry, some more than others. And almost every guy I know prefers long hair. Stating this won't bring down this board or stop women from cutting their hair. Rather than ignore that guys are an influence on women cutting or growing their hair, this board should discuss it. Perhaps you don't notice this, since you're not interested in guys, but most women are and they do notice what guys like. Posted By: tina m Date Posted: May 30 2003 at 7:08pm I know more about men -( and what they are attracted to in women)- , than you will ever know Rod. And I'm not a lesbian like Kath is, I'm bisexual and have a child. I spent almost three years as "an escort", a "working girl" -(read between the lines)- in Chicago and Milwaukee a few years back before I had my kid and believe me THERE IS NO TYPICAL MAN, each one is different. Many of the men specifically requested women with short hair, others liked long haired girls, most didn't care as long as the lady was pretty and agreeable. The same with race; some liked blondes, others brunettes or Hispanic girls, still others liked black or Asian women. Myself and the other women I worked with met more men in a month than you will probably meet in ten years Rod. Believe me, each man has different preferences in hair length, body size, color,etc.,etc.,etc. It also depends where you live in America. In rural areas and more conservative areas "big hair" never really went out of style. I grew up in rural Wisconsin and nearly everyone was Caucasion-(Polish, German, Norweigan)- and being blonde with long hair and/or "big hair" was the thing -( at least with younger women)-. When I went to Milwaukee and then to Chicago, I found out how isolated my world had been growing up, that in fact women wear EVERY TYPE AND LENGTH of hair and people came in all colors. I also found out that men liked every sort of woman; -women with ALL LENGTHS of hair and all colors of women. I learned that quick. That's one of the first things you learn. But even someone with my experiences really doesn't know what every man prefers, since most of us, even if we have meet thousands of men, only know .0000000000000001 percent of the men on earth. SO PLEASE don't insult our intelligence by pretending that you know what all men think about women's hair. Only the good Lord could began to know something like that. P.S.- Of course shampoo ads show women with long hair(and increasingly bob cuts as well). They want the model to fling her hair around. But have you noticed how makeup commercials and clothing commercials are increasingly featuring women with bobs and even shorter hairstyles, more and more all of the time. -(The woman I see most often in makeup ads is Halle Berry, who has very short hair no longer than my hair)- But getting back to Kathy's point, since none of us really know what every man thinks( and your little group of buddies hardly represent the 3 BILLION men on earth), don't come on a short hair messageboard and try to tell short haired women that we are less desirable to the majority of men. I don't care if the men and women on this website do prefer long haired girls -( although I am not getting that message from the celebrity board where most of the men seem to like short haired celebrity women )-, those of us who are short haired women don't need to be told that most men don't prefer us. Unless you are God you have no way of knowing that do you Rod. I'm sure you don't mean to be arrogant or insulting but you really do come across like that. Saying most men like long hair on women better than a cute short hairstyle is the equivelant of saying to a black woman, "Well I like black women but most men like white women better". None of us know for sure what everyone else in the world likes. That much I DO KNOW!!! ------------- tina Posted By: Unregistered Guest Date Posted: May 31 2003 at 9:20pm As A high school teacher, I can tell you that lots of girls cut their hair at two points - after their senior class yearbook pictures, and after the prom. People think this is warm weather related, but really, many keep it long for prom updos. Long hair is warm and lots of work for kids who are in class at 7:20. I know someone mentioned how boys like teenage girls with long hair, but I think clean and stylish goes a lot further than any length idea. Posted By: Unregistered Guest Date Posted: May 31 2003 at 10:46pm Tina: Whew, you''''ve been around the block a little haven''''t you. You seem like quite a woman Tina!!! Posted By: tina m Date Posted: May 31 2003 at 11:27pm Thanks Brent. Am I "quite a woman"? Oh I don't know, I'm just a midwestern chick Brent, nothing special really. I'm not necesarily proud of everything I've done either.. These days I'm just a "different variation" of a midwestern housewife, with a five year old daughter and a lesbian lover. Thanks again guy! ------------- tina Posted By: Unregistered Guest Date Posted: June 01 2003 at 11:53am I cut my hair short to please my man. I''''m a very traditional woman and I love pleasing my husband . I love my husband and he likes women with short hair. It was the least I could do to please him since in so many ways he pleases me. Once I got used to short hair I loved It! To me it is sexy and I feel more alive with short hair! Posted By: Rod Date Posted: June 01 2003 at 2:12pm Julie, how long was your hair before you met your husband? Did you just cut it right after you met him or right after you were married? Did he ask you to cut it or did you do it because you got the idea he liked short hair? Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 01 2003 at 10:41pm Temporary insanity -- that's my only defense! Fortunately, that was a few years ago, and I am much, much happier with long hair. Interestingly enough, most people said that once a woman goes short, she'll never grow it out again. That was definitely not the case with me. I couldn't wait until I was able to sniff my freshly washed hair (which is impossible to do when you have cut off your hair!). My experience with short hair was a disaster. I just missed the sensual feel of silky hair down my neck and body. That's why I would ALWAYS recommend someone with long hair who thinks she may like it short to take it a little bit at a time. If you cut off 2 or 3 inches, it won't take years to grow back. Once it's cut, it's gone for quite awhile. Growing out hair is just horrible. ------------- Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 01 2003 at 11:08pm I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience with short hair Jennifer. but this board is for people who DO like short hairstyles, that's the purpose of it, that's why they have a long hair board on this website for those who like long hair and a short hair board for those of us who like wearing our hair short. ------------- tina Posted By: hairguy00 Date Posted: June 01 2003 at 11:09pm wow, that sounds like its an interesting story, if you dont mind i would like to hear the reast of it :) ------------- Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 01 2003 at 11:17pm Tina, I was just answering the question! ------------- Posted By: Rod Date Posted: June 01 2003 at 11:18pm Long-haired women who go dramatically short all at once often either love it or hate it. Since you hated it, you can at least feel comforted that you found out short hair just isn't you. Many of your fellow long-haired women never will know for sure. You would have been better off going short gradually, but that wasn't the style you wanted. Chances are, you wouldn't have liked that style. I have a friend with gorgeous long hair. She's always wanted really short hair, above the ears, but has been afraid to cut it. I suggested something in between, but she insists that's the last thing she wants. If she ever decides to do it, she'll get the cut she wants, and see if that cut makes her happy. For whatever reason, sometimes long haired women decide to go shorter. The style she chooses is personal, but the one she wants. That way she loves or regrets her own choice. Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 01 2003 at 11:23pm Hairguy, as Tina so observantly point out, this is the short hair forum; my story would fall better into the "Scary Tales at Bedtime" forum! Actually, the experience taught me many things. I am taking MUCH better care of my hair now than I was before. Previously, I was washing it every day, blow-drying it, and using a scorching curling iron on it. And of course, it looked awful on the ends. But instead of just cutting off a few inches, which would have looked dramatically better, I cut off a lot. Why? God only knows. ------------- Posted By: Rod Date Posted: June 01 2003 at 11:34pm I'd like to think this board is for discussing short hair, not just for those who have had good experiences with short hair. Jennifer was just relating her experience as the first post asked. As long as Jennifer doesn't deride other people for having short hair, which she didn't, I'd hope she's welcome. Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 03 2003 at 8:59pm No biggie. I just thought Jennifer was being a wee bit over dramatic, as if having a short hairstyle was some sort of disaster. Considering that at least half the women in the America either have short hair now or have had it short before and many look absolutely STUNNING in short hair and many of us ENJOY WEARING OUR HAIR SHORT, I just thought she was being a little overdramatic. She describes getting her haircut as a terrible DISASTER. I have known people that have had a leg amputated that seemed less disturbed than Jennifer was about getting her hair cut. I know people like their hairstyles BUT PLEASE, some perspective on all of this. It's hair for God's sake, keep it in proportion! ------------- tina Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 03 2003 at 10:24pm Tina, as odd as this sounds, it really was a bit of a disaster. I live in a relatively small area, and apparently people have nothing better to discuss than the appearance of others. When I had my hair cut, I hated it. I really, really hated it. BUT. That wasn't the disaster. People who were mere acquaintances made a huge deal out of it and fell over themselves complimenting me on it. Even when I made it quite clear that I did not wish to discuss it, they insisted. I think people somehow felt it was their "duty" to talk me into liking my hair. If people would have only made passing comments (or better yet, no comments at all!), I think it would not have been that big of a deal. When someone tells you that she loves what you hate, it's also saying that you have no taste if you don't like it. It's actually an insult. That's why I am VERY leery of people making comments on the appearance of others. We should pay a lot more attention to what's on the inside instead of what's on the outside. I'm an American and live in the US, but I travel internationally a good deal of the time. Although I love my country, I feel so much more comfortable in European cities. People are not nearly obsessed with giving unsolicited opinions like they are in the US. The freedom from being scrutinized was absolutely wonderful! You're probably thinking that I'm overly sensitive, and perhaps a little bit, but really not that much. Without sounding like an arrogant "w"itch, I am tall, blonde, and have a well-toned body. I am pleased with the way I look, but I'd much rather be complimented with things I've done, not what nature gave me. A friend of mine recently lost 40 pounds, and she does look terrific! However, she said when people really knock themselves over giving her compliments on how incredibly wonderful she looks, it's also as if they're saying, "Yeah, you were a real PIG before," although inside she's the same person. Does any of this make sense? The United States has the largest percentage of both anorexic and obese people. We also seem to be the country that makes it socially acceptable to constantly comment (especially unsolicited) on how others look. I can't help but wonder if there's a connection. ------------- Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 03 2003 at 11:05pm All people need to do Jennifer to avoid anorexia or obesity is; 1. Eat a healthy well balanced diet with some fruits and vegetables and don't overeat. 2. Exercise a little once in a while. and....... 3. Respect yourself. Believe you are worthwhile. That's it..... that's all that most people need to do to be healthy and avoid being too fat or skinny. It's really pretty easy to do. Personally I like a compliment from a guy or a woman on how I look, unless they are being obnoxious about it, -( like hitting on you when you are obviously not interested in being hit on)-. People need to loosen up a little and just use their common sense. Too much neurosis, and people make things far too complicated, -(there is my rural midwestern background talking even though I'm a city girl now). ------------- tina Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 03 2003 at 11:37pm Tina, you said, "Too much neurosis, and people make things far too complicated." I agree! But as Americans, we do obsess about how we look and obviously how others look, and we can't keep out mouths shut about constantly commenting on how others look. Perhaps if that obsessiveness about looks weren't present, other obsessions wouldn't be present, either. I still find it much more comfortable being in Europe. Oh, Europeans aren't bombarded with 1,548 oz. soft drinks and 10,873 calorie meals like Americans are.....! I really do love the US, but we just have to do everything "bigger" don't we? I won't comment on big Texas hair. {grin} Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 03 2003 at 11:37pm I must say also Jennifer that the whole big media scare about anorexia is entirely overblown. Less than 1% of American girls and women have serious health or life threating anorexia. Because this is relatively new-(since the 1960s)- in the western world, the media, -(who love to sensationalize things for ratings)- have made a HUGE issue out of anorexic women in America but really percentagewise is an incredibly small percentage. Most of the anorexic girls are from upper class urban families. Where I grew up among the common people in rural Wisconsin we didn't even know what anorexia was! I never met a woman or girl with anorexica where I lived. It's mostly a rich people problem. As far as obseity goes that's different. Americans love to do things to excess, whether it be taking drugs, driving fast in our cars, overworking, building the biggest skyscrapers, playing the loudest rowdiest music, you name it. Americans have always like excess. Eating is no different. It isn't glandular this increase in fat people. It's just that some Americans don't know when to quit eating. It's excess, and quite frankly they do eat like pigs. And they end up looking like cows!-( Sorry for sounding harsh but .....It's true!!!)-. As far as Europe goes, they are moving in the same direction. I read the British press a little on the net and Britian and even the European continent have seen an increase as well in obseity-( and anorexia)- recently. Not yet at American levels, but give them a few years. It's a developed world problem, it's happening in Japan, South Korea and Australia too, even a bit in China as they get richer-( and fatter)- Remember 10 or 15 years ago we heard how Europe didn't have much crime, they weren't violent or criminal like Americans. I heard that all the time as a kid, on T.V. and from teachers at school, even my mom used to say it. They weren't as violent and crazy as us. You notice how you don't hear that much anymore do you. You know why? Because London, Paris, Amsterdamm, Berlin, Rome, they all have crime problems now. Much worse than before. I like the Europeans just fine, but sooner or later they seem to get every problem we've got. It just happens girl. It's just a nasty 'ol world!. ------------- tina Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 12:11am Oh I forgot one thing that Americans also do to excess, ..... sex! Studies show we have sex more often with our partners than other developed nations, and have more sex partners in a lifetime. Lucky for me I like sex!!!! ------------- tina Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 3:05am You're making incorrect inferences on what I stated. I didn't state that anorexia was a huge problem -- only that the US has the largest percentage of anorexic women in the world. There is a huge difference! And yes, if Europeans keep practicing our lifestyles, they too can become obese and stand around making silly comments on shallow appearances and lose all intellectual abilities to hold intelligent and meaningful conversations... But back to hair....... I think we'd all be better off if we didn't spout off our mouths about how others look in front of them. That's what forums like these are for! I'm sure people who don't get complimented often would love to hear more, but trust me, it's gets tiring and often embarrassing when it happens frequently. Besides, isn't beauty on the inside? I think we tend to forget that sometimes. By focusing on hair (or clothing or figures or other outwardly appearances), it's easy for us all to forget what's important in life. Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 3:08am PS -- You said that Americans have more sexual partners in our lives than other nations. Gosh, we're more s*l*u*t*t*y (how silly that this word was edited out of my original post) than the rest of the world. Aren't we proud? Maybe we can soon catch up to Africa with the highest population of AIDs! I have seriously been thinking of moving to Europe, and well, I just may delve a little deeper into the possibility. ------------- Posted By: Unregistered Guest Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 9:11am Intersting conversation ladies: There is something else Americans have more of than Europe too, babies. America is growing in population, Europe is declining in population which will also eventually cause an economic decline: not enough young workers. Fine Jennifer move to Europe. Since they have a shortage of young people they need all the young people they can get. Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 9:26am Thanks Brent, but I'm not an unskilled worker. I'd be doing the same thing there as here, only amidst a lot less anorexic, obese, and obnoxious people! Oh, I know, Europeans can be obnoxious, too, as can people of every land, but society is different in Europe, and thankfully much, much more tolerant. Again, I'm not anti-American, but it's sad that when someone gets a rather substantial haircut, some Americans have no self-control and literally scream out in crowds "OHMYGAWD, YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!!" It happened more times than I wish to remember. That kind of uncouth and vulgar behavior is simply not accepted in most northern European countries. In fact, in many countries, it is considered extremely rude to draw attention to someone's appearance. Perhaps one day, Americans will learn to be more polite (and before you think I'm a total snob, I have my fair share of learning to do, as well!). However, the social atmosphere is simply less "thick" in European countries. Americans love to stare at others, whereas Europeans are much more understated and respect privacy a great deal more. These are generalities, of course, but I've traveled enough to say that my experiences were drawn upon and reflect these sentiments. ------------- Posted By: Unregistered Guest Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 9:32am Fine Jennifer, like I said feel free to move. There are millions of poor hard working immigrants waiting in line to get into America who would love to live here. Only people who enjoy America should live here. Why be somewhere where people are so rude to you Jennifer. To be honest I don't even really know what your talking about, most Americans I know in California and other states I have been in, just mind their own business. Most people don't care how you wear your hair. Maybe you need to get out of your particular small town Jennifer. Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 9:36am Brent, have you traveled much in your life? I have. And I've lived on the East Coast and in the Midwest. There is a huge world out there.... Grab a passport and taste life! PS -- the immigrants wanting to get in the US are not exactly from northern European countries. If I lived in a country where oppression were severe, like most immigrants who seek refuge, I'd want to come to the US, too! The US is not a bad country at all in which to live. But socially, we aren't as advanced as we think we are. Again, why are we so obsessed with giving unsolicited comments to others about their appearance? I'd like to think that most people have more worthy topics of conversation. The more attention we draw to outward appearance, the more self-conscious we, as a society become, and that's what produces all the low self-esteem in which Americans seem to excel. ------------- Posted By: hairguy00 Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 11:04am for the second time in this thread....lets keep this hair oriented ------------- Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 1:38pm Sure, I'll keep this hair-oriented. The fact is this: not everyone thinks of hair in the same vein. To some, a bad haircut is something of a minor nuisance until it grows out. To others, it can be much more. Unless you know someone intimately, you cannot tell if that person feels the same way you do or not. Thus, one should respect the privacy of others and not assume to measure his feelings against one's own. Thus, when giving unsolicited comments on someone's appearance, proceed with caution. Personally, I greatly appreciate it when someone says, "Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but I couldn't help noticing your hair." First of all, the person is acknowledging that he is intruding. Secondly, if he is being polite about it. I find nothing polite about strangers or acquaintances touching my hair without an invitation (happens all the time) or making comments assuming that I will be grateful to hear them. This pertains to all of life, but also of hair: a little respect and privacy and attempt to view the world through eyes not our own (not always so easy) would go a LONG way towards a lot more tolerance and understanding in the world. Btw, Tina, I really do not hate short hair (I just don't like it on me!). I'll admit that I do not care for buzzcuts on women (and it's only an opinion, not a judgment on anyone's personality), but there are some short styles that are extremely feminine and lovely. Audrey Hepburn wore very little hair and was extremely graceful and beautiful! Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 7:38pm Americans have low self-esteem? Speak for yourself Jennifer. You are projecting your own insecurities on a whole country. America's a pretty big country, you know everyone here? Do you really? Most foreigners I meet have told me the opposite, that Americans are, if anything, TOO self assured, too self-confident, almost to the point of arrogance. But in reality there are many types of Americans with many different personalities. That much I DO KNOW! By the way Jennifer if you read any of Brent's posts on some of the other boards he seems very worldly to me and he mentioned , -(I believe it was either to Uzma or Kathy Ann)-, that he had traveled in Europe. He seems pretty aware and bright, -(whether you agree with everything he says or not, he does makes some good points)-. I think Jennifer you are stereotyping all Americans as being forward and rude and being too concerned with looks. I don't know where you live in America but in the cities I lived in; Milwaukee, Chicago, Los Angeles, Madison, and Minneapolis/St. Paul-( as well as rural Wisconsin where I grew up)-, I met different kinds of people. Some ARE too forward and rude, some ARE vain and too concerned with people's looks, but many people ARE NOT all that concerned with looks, and some Americans aren't forward at all, they are shy, just like people in any country. We all stereotype and generalize about countries and people, I do it too, but it isn't good to do it too much. And northern Europeans AREN'T superior to us, they have their problems too, and I don't think we are better than them either. People are people, you find different types everywhere I'm sure. Anyway PEACE and I suppose we better get back on topic or Haitrguy will get mad at us. .....Why did I cut my hair?....., well I already discussed that on this thread. Can anyone else explain the reasons they went to a short hairstyle?. ------------- tina Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 8:25pm >>>>I think Jennifer you are stereotyping all Americans as being forward and rude and being too concerned with looks. Please read more carefully. You're twisting my words around to read what you want them to read. Never did I say that all Americans are like that, but if you ever travel internationally (especially dozens of times in many countries), Tina, you will indeed find that certain generalities among people of a nation are common. A generality is not inclusive of all that nation. We can spew anecdotes galore, but there are certain attitudes that generally are true about Americans. Personally, I can spot an American a mile away when I'm in Europe. It is a very common scene for a woman with a new haircut (especially something drastic) to walk into her office and receive many comments on it. That scenario is not at all common in France, Belgium, or Holland. I've actually discussed this subject with several people from many countries and have traveled enough over the years to find it is right on the mark. When you've experienced more of the world, I'll be glad to discuss the topic with you, but if I understand correctly, you've probably never left the borders and thus have nothing with which to compare your experiences. Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 8:59pm You stereotype too much Jennifer and I will never be convinced that the Europeans are culturally superior to us. I read somewhere that over half the movies in the west European theaters are American films. I'm sure we have as many good cultural and social things as they do. .... and I get a little tired of some Europeans and even some "socially superior" Americans talking about how west Europeans are so socially and culturally superior to us "crude", "unsophisticated" Americans. Many Americans get tired of hearing that. Like Brent said Jennifer, if you really like the Europeans better, then MOVE THERE. Don't lecture us like you are some sort of superior, more worldy person than we are. You don't know what our experiences have been. Don't pretend you do! I've got my hands full trying to raise my daughter, have a good relationship, make ends meet. etc........ I'm healthy, I don't overeat, I exercise, I try to be a good person, I have traveled some am well read, and I am writing a book,... and I don't really need a lecture from you. You don't seem any more "enlightened" or "worldly" to me than many other people who post here. Let's drop the subject, please, this is really getting nowhere. Go move into Europe with those "socially superior" people over there if you want to. What do I care?..... but I don't need a lecture, I'm just as smart and hip and aware as you are in my own way, and I have had plenty of experiences of my own, more than most women my age, as you can find out if you go to General Hair talk and read my conversation with Uzma on ARE THERE ANY WRITERS ON THIS BOARD, where I tell a little about myself. SO PLEASE,..... PEACE! ------------- tina Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 9:04pm I have of course been to Canada, .... also Mexico and Jamaica. Never been to Europe but my lover Kathy has, as has my ex-husband. If all of the Europeans have the attitude that you have, that Americans are socially and culturally crude and unsophisticated,(which I doubt most of them have actually, I give them the benifit of the doubt), I won't bother going there, who needs the lecture!!! Maybe we should lecture them about some things, like why as Brent pointed out, they are declining, dying civilzations without enough children. Now that seems "socially and culturally" backwards to me!!! ------------- tina Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 9:06pm ....But like I said PEACE. ------------- tina Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 10:38pm Again, you're reading words of mine that I didn't write. My attitude is simply that Americans and Europeans do indeed have two distinct cultures (yes, even with hair). What is easily said or accomplished in one culture may be quite rude in another. I will say one thing, and that is that traveling to other cultures completely different from our own (beyond Europe, even) brings a new perspective to life that you cannot get from simply reading books. If you ever have the opportunity to really travel (and I don't mean some group tour for a couple of weeks!), you will see that it really helps to open our eyes and detect cultural differences between countries. It's when we don't acknowledge that there are differences that peace does not reign! And again, to bring this back to hair: I'll repeat again: One should respect the privacy of others and not assume to measure his feelings against one's own. Do you not agree? If a person enjoys unsolicited comments on her hair, she may think that others will, too. We simply need to look beyond ourselves and realize that people don't always react the way we wish they would. Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 04 2003 at 11:33pm There, .....now we agree Jennifer, people don't always react the way we want them to! ..... And cultures are different from each other, one isn't necessarily "better" than another! True! Sure I would like to travel more, and I will, but I have to raise a kid right now and I might have another kid soon as well. I am in that phase of my life right now, my wild days-( and I was VERY wild if you read some of my other posts on General Hair Talk)- are over for now. I am only 27, I have time to travel later. I do enjoy my life where I am living now, and the way I am living now. I'm not doing too bad, I enjoy myself. I enjoy my very short hair too, -(to get back on topic)-, although I enjoyed having very long hair and a bob cut too. I liked those styles also! I'm staying with a short crop for now though! ------------- tina Posted By: rhodygirl Date Posted: June 05 2003 at 8:26pm I had long hair, down to my waist, most of my adult life. My only concession to style was to pull it back in barrettes. If anyone even suggested to me that I should get it cut, I became very defensive. Then one day, I was feeling kind of blue, for no apparent reason. So, I went out shopping, and while I was walking around the plaza, I saw a woman walking out of a salon with a great big, confident smile on her face, looking like she owned the world, and I envied her. I literally dared myself to go in, and I did. There was no waiting, so I didn't have time to talk myself out of it. I didn't look at any magazines. I didn't ask for any advice. I just told the stylist she could do anything she wanted as long as she didn't cut it any shorter than to my shoulders, and that's what I got, a shoulder length bob--no tears, no muss, no fuss. It's funny, it took that little "dare" to make me realize that it's only hair, and besides, change is good for the soul. Since then, I've cut it shorter, let it grow out, cut it again, etc. I understand why women with long hair agonize over the decision to cut it--the whole "my hair is my identity" thing--but me, I'm over it! I don't think I'll ever go back to long hair again. In fact, my hair is as short as it's ever been (cut to the nape, in sort of a chin-length bob). Posted By: Rod Date Posted: June 05 2003 at 9:33pm rhodygirl, it's nice to hear a positive story about how your decision to change your hair empowered you. I especially like how your hair isn't your identity. You rule your hair, not the other way around. Even as a guy, I've had a similar experience. First, when I went to a new hairdresser and she gave me a subtle but different style and then when I colored my gray for the first time. Making changes in my life made me feel really good. That's why I started this thread. Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 06 2003 at 6:15pm Good Rhodygirl, glad you enjoy your hairstyle, it sounds pretty! ------------- tina Posted By: beachgerl Date Posted: June 10 2003 at 5:08pm For many years I had long hair, down to my butt or to my waist. Occasionally, I'd have the mood to just cut my hair to chin length bob. Then I'd let it grow out long again. Finally, I had my hair cut several months ago and is hovering above my shoulders in a layered bob. I realized that short hair is sexy, so can long hair. It's odd...as I get older, I start to like shorter hair than when I was younger. I mean, looking at myself in mirror, I realized that long hair is the thing of girls or young women, while shorter hair is for ladies with modern & funky edge, changing with times. Totally confident. Long hair feels like I'm trying to re-live my childhood. Also, I'm trying to get away from that stereotype of an asian vixen with long hair. I don't know if I'll ever return to my former long hair! I really like Mandy Moore's haircuts. It's not too short or long. Very feminine. :) ------------- http://www.fauxblondes.com - Faux Blondes International Beauty Ezine Posted By: Jennifer Date Posted: June 10 2003 at 6:43pm Beachgerl, a lot of older women feel like you do. There comes a certain point and they adopt the uniform of most older women, short hair. If women want to cut off their hair, of course they should. But I hope women don't do it because of age. Posted By: beachgerl Date Posted: June 10 2003 at 6:55pm Lol. I can imagine when I'm in my 40s or 50s, I bet I probably have long hair again like Demi Moore. She looks fantastic at her age. But I'm in my 20s, so I like shorter hair now. Who knows? It depends where I am at in my life. :) No, I don't let haircuts dictate my age and shouldn't dictate anyone's else, too. I know some older women with long hair, they look great. It all depends what looks good regardless of age. ------------- http://www.fauxblondes.com - Faux Blondes International Beauty Ezine Posted By: tina m Date Posted: June 10 2003 at 7:13pm I have seen alot of young and middle aged Asian women with bobs or short pixies and they look great!!! Some Asian women do wear super long hair and some of them look great, but these days I think Asian women are like the rest of the women and wear mid length or shorter styles. That seems to be more the norm for Asian women, like other women. ------------- tina Posted By: Rod Date Posted: June 10 2003 at 8:39pm Age has a lot to do with why women cut their hair. Long hair often makes a woman look younger. In their 20's or 30's some women find they want to look more mature, adult, or more their age. On the flip side, women also reach an age where they don't want to look their age and if long hair makes them look five years younger, then they grow it. There are psychological reasons a woman grows it or cuts it. Long hair makes some women feel more feminine. It can be alluring to the boys. Shorter hair can make a woman feel more confident, more grown up. I don't think it's the uniform of older women. It's not a sense of conformity or I'm old, I better take my attractiveness away. I think it's the opposite. Many teenage girls have long hair because daddy thought girls should have long hair or because the boys like long hair. Cutting the long hair short can be a conscious decision of individuality. Every woman doesn't feel or look more mature with shorter hair, but many do. I'm sure some do cut it to conform to what they are supposed to be, but wondering this was what started the thread. Posted By: Unregistered Guest Date Posted: June 19 2003 at 11:17am I had long hair all through high school and college; always about 4 or 5 inches past my shoulders. I always wore it either down/straight, down/curled, ponytail or a french braid. I always looked the same and it was starting to bother me a little. I wore the same clothes and lived in a sweatshirt and jeans most of the time. I never bothered myself with finding a 'style'. I had just gotten a new job and everyone there seemed to be treating me like a child. In retrospect, I think they were just being nice to the new girl. I decided that I needed to improve my looks and buy some dressier clothes that made me look like an adult rather than a student. While I was at it, I made an appointment to get my hair cut a little shorter, maybe three inches. I still planned to keep it long, just to my shoulders or a little below because I didn't know what else to do. While I was waiting at the salon, I saw a woman who had just gotten her hair cut. It was really short and I thought it looked awesome. I decided that very moment that I was going to get my hair cut like hers. As luck would have it, my appointment was with the same person who had just cut her hair. I got very nervous while she was cutting my hair. When she cut the side to reveal my ear I started crying because I thought I might have made a terrible decision. I didn't... I've had it short for about a year. Posted By: Rod Date Posted: June 19 2003 at 8:56pm Leah, that was incredibly brave and gutsy. For most women, going short gradually is easier. Have people stopped treating you like a child? Do you feel more like an adult? How short did you go and have you kept it that short? Posted By: Kuroneko Date Posted: June 20 2003 at 7:48am I was raised by very conservative parents who totally bought into the whole "girls should have long hair and boys should have short hair" stereotype, and in fact that was how they taught me to identify gender. I remember the first time I found out girls could have short hair was at a friend's house, where the teen-aged brothers and sisters were watching MTV, and the video for "Sweet Dreams Are Made of This" came on. I was just totally mesmerised watching Annie Lennox with her crew cut because she was the total opposite of everything my parents believed and had taught me. I developed an obsession with short-haired women right then and there, which I've had ever since, even though for most of my life I've had to keep closeted about it (and still do, to an extent-- even the people who know I prefer short-haired women usually don't know about my haircutting fetish). I was made to keep really long hair throughout childhood, but immediately had it cut boyishly short as soon as I hit high school and it's rarely been longer than chin-length since (often and preferably much shorter, above the ears). I actually get angry with myself now if my hair gets too long, because I see it as letting myself fall too much into my parents' and society's expectations! Posted By: Unregistered Guest Date Posted: June 20 2003 at 12:16pm Rod: I don't know that it was all that brave or gutsy. I had decided to try something different but I couldn't really decide by looking at photos. I didn't decide until the moment I saw this woman at the salon up close and how her hair looked in back, front, sides and on a real person. Her haircut just looked great and I decided I wanted that haircut because it was cute. Like I said in my orginial message... I don't think they were really treating me like a child. Rather, they were treating me like a new employee who didn't know anything about her job yet. I never really felt like I wasn't an adult but I thought I needed a more sophisticated look since I was no longer a student. Since I changed my hair and started dressing less casually, I think I perceived differently. I believe that people draw a great deal of their first impression from your appearance. How short did I go and have I kept it that short? It's hard to describe the cut but my stylist calls it a pixie sometimes and sometimes she calls it a short shag. I guess it depends how scissor-happy she happens to get. Since she first cut it short, she's left it a little longer and also had it cut a little shorter than the original cut but it's basically been the same style. Suffice it to say, it's really short. I'm a little bored with my hair again. I like it right after it's cut but about two weeks later it looks a little plain. I'm looking for a new hairstyle again but I haven't found one that really appeals to me. Posted By: Rod Date Posted: June 20 2003 at 8:21pm Try http://gallery.hairboutique.com/default.asp - http://gallery.hairboutique.com/default.asp ------------- Posted By: Unregistered Guest Date Posted: February 26 2004 at 12:36pm im an asian sophomore in high school. I've had long hair as long as I can remember. It went all the way to my waist. and black Long wavy hair does look flirty sexy. But i've got so tired of how much time it took to style and whatever (also I think it makes you look shorter, since im short:)). yesterday I just got a drastic haircut for the first time in my life right under my chin. Oh my god, I love it already. It is so easy. I feel so free, cute, confident and sexy(different than flirty sexy) and fashionistic. hehe. and I want to make it more shorter, because im worried that it'll grow long fast. One thing I realized in people is that they(even boys) were much more friendly n' nice than before. Even someone wanted to hang out w/ me. very wierd. that's my story. Posted By: BaldJasmine Date Posted: February 26 2004 at 8:54pm That's wonderful anya! I'm so glad you like your new 'do girl! I'm African-American and I've worn a short, natural afro for years and love it. I'm sold on short hair. ------------- .