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hubby's new hairstyles

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Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Hair Politics
Forum Description: The politics of Hair is a slippery slope...
Printed Date: September 22 2020 at 11:30pm

Topic: hubby's new hairstyles
Posted By: Stacey_M1996
Subject: hubby's new hairstyles
Date Posted: June 15 2009 at 5:10pm

Hi all,

 Iíve followed some of the threads on here about men (and boys!) wearing feminine hairstyles with a lot of interest since my husband is growing his hair out. Itís just below his shoulders now and weíve been experimenting with some new styles for him. We live in Seattle, which is a pretty easy-going city when it comes to fashion and hairstyles, but heís still wary. Iíll give you our story and then ask for some advice.

 Heís got gorgeous auburn hair, all one length (though Iím trying to get him to try bangs), and heís been growing it out for about 18 months. He wears it back in a ponytail about 75% of the time and Iím really really tired of the boring guysí ponytail look. Iíve gotten him to go to my stylist and sheís starting giving him honey-blonde highlights. Sheís also tried a couple of new styles including curling it with a curling iron. He looks FABULOUS in curls. She suggested we try rollers Ė she said she could do a set at the salon but we might want to try rolling it at home first. So I did him (finally) last Saturday in my hot rollers. OMG he looked soooo cute in rollers and we both loved the result. Heís agreed to start wearing it curled on a regular basis Ė today I bought him his own set of rollers! He looks darling in one of my headbands & Iím encouraging him to try some different styles, like braids and a high ponytail, and some more accessories like headbands and barrettes, in public.  Iím also hoping heíll get his bangs cut when we go back to the hairdresser next week.

 He enjoys having his hair done and heís up for exploring some more girly styles Ė but he has the usual worries about being seen in curlers, how people will react to a guy wearing hair accessories, and so on.

 Anyway Iíd love to hear from some guys and girls whoíve gone through this process. Is your guy comfortable using rollers? How far are you willing to go in terms of accessories? Have you found any girlish styles that youíre both comfortable with? Do you think people are getting more accepting of guys with long hair in traditionally feminine styles? Whatís the reaction from friends / family been like? (My Mom saw him in curls and she said, ďGod I wish my hair looked like that.Ē)

Thanks for your feedback!

Posted By: TMortis
Date Posted: June 16 2009 at 7:23am
Color me green-  I can only pray that my wife would be that caring and understanding.  I love curls.  I had my hair, although much shorter- permed and colored for years. If he likes the curls try a body wave for natural looking waves, and it will hold a set much better.  Keep him in curlers and he will nevr wander.Tongue


Posted By: hairboi
Date Posted: June 22 2009 at 7:35pm
I'm soooooo jealous!!!

Posted By: hairboi
Date Posted: June 22 2009 at 7:37pm

Hi Stacy, Loved reading your post! Think you could get him to try the makeup and clothes to match? That would be fun!

Posted By: Ricc
Date Posted: June 25 2009 at 10:46am
I sounds like you guys are having a fun. I should marry a lady like you. I've worn my hair long on and off over the years and have always preferred neater-groomed hairstyles normally worn by women over the usual messy or ponytail style most guys with longer hair do. It's always seemed to me that people are more accepting of longer hair on a man if it's well groomed-- even if the style is normally worn by women. The trick is for the style to match your overall appearance such that it looks natural on you. I guess having a slight build and softer features has helped.

I have fine hair and it really doesn't take a very good shape at chin-to-shoulder length unless I set it in curlers, which I've been doing for a couple of decades. I usually use big curlers to get a nice curve style. My hair is currently about shoulder length and I sometimes set it to flip out a bit at the bottom. This is a style more commonly seen on women, but sees to suit my features well and people seem to like the look well enough. I don't go out in curlers, but you don't see many women doing it these days either.

I do wear ornaments sometimes, but nothing too showy. I live in Texas where it's hot in the summer, so I'll often put it up in the back with a plastic pinch clip when I'm mowing the lawn or something. I've never heard anybody say anything about it. Sometimes, when I wear a ponytail, I'll put a couple of bobbie pins on the sides. Now and then, I'll pull the top back and clip it in a barrette behind my crown, too. This is sort of a Dave Beckman look and I've gotten some compliments for it.

In the early '90s I had my hair about 24" long and would often wear it up in a behind-the-head bun or twist either with hidden pins or a plastic clip. During hot weather, I think people understood the logic in this.

Keep us posted, Stacey!

Posted By: Traci_cheer07
Date Posted: June 26 2009 at 3:38pm

Hi Stacey, thanks for your message Ė what fun you must be having with your hubbyís new hairdos!


Since I posted on some of the threads you referenced I thought Iíd respond. My son, now 10, has been wearing feminine hairstyles for about three years now. Weíve had a lot of fun with it and while he gets teased a certain amount he also gets a lot of support and compliments. I set his hair in rollers every couple of days and he wears it back in a headband or in barrettes. When itís not curled he usually wears a high ponytail or 2 braids. Heís taken to wearing some other girlish things Ė capris, Keds sneakers, & the like Ė but in general heís a pretty normal 10-yr.-old boy. We live in a fairly open-minded city but I get my share of dark looks from other Moms. (A couple of them have asked me how I got started doing his hair, though, and at least one I know of has started curling her sonís hair this year!Smile)


Itís different with an adult, of course, and I have to applaud your SO for being willing to experiment with his hair. I love long hair on men and I wish more guys were willing to take care of their hair and invest the time & money to style it nicely. The other day we were at the salon and there was a man there having his highlights done Ė our stylist said sheís seeing more and more men come in for traditionally feminine services,and she knows of a couple of Moms that have their sonís hair done in pretty styles on a regular basis. (One has her son sleep in foam curlers every other night, and has him in skirts when he comes into the salon, but thatís kind of another story!)


Anyway my advice is find a stylist your husband likes and trusts; make having his hair done fun and non-threatening; make sure he gets plenty of positive feedback; and let him find the styles, and accessories, he likes.


And please keep us posted!

Posted By: lhair2hoops
Date Posted: June 29 2009 at 8:31pm
The styles I like to wear involve either clips or ponytail bands in two bunches of hair pulled back from my temples to just over or behind the ear. My hair being fine, it looks fuller this way.  with a couple of large size hooped earrings or dangles, the look is just right.  My wife use to be supportive befoe kids, now not so much. I do have one lady friend who is supportive.  I like getting fixed up and go earring shopping with her.
Have not tried rolling my hair, sounds like fun. I have tried curled tendrals off my temples.

Posted By: les237
Date Posted: June 30 2009 at 1:23am

Hi Stacey,

Great post.  Itís nice to hear that you and your husband are having such a great time with his hair.


I started my hair journey about 5 years ago.  The goal then was to get it long enough to put it in a pony tail, but I still remember how anxious I was the first day I went out in public with my hair in the little stubby tail, with the sides not really fitting in.  I was sure that everyone was looking at me and would think it looked silly.  Of course, they werenít.  Now, five years later, now that my hair is all one length and almost to the middle of my back, the pony tail is what I do when Iím working outside or just donít have time to do something more fun with my hair.   And I really enjoy trying new styles.


And thatís one of the greatest things about having long hair Ė I never need to wear it the same way twice.  I do half tails, pigtails, a single braid, two braids, French braids (with help), bun and even a topknot.  And of course, many days I just like to wear it down and loose.  And I enjoy wearing all these styles in public, and I have never gotten a bad reaction from anyone. 


The one thing about my hair I would change (but I havenít gotten the nerve to get a perm yet) is that it is straight.  But every time I get a trim, my stylist curls it Ė either with a curling iron or with a set.  I like tight curls, and they really do look great on me (if I have to say so myself).  Iíve had her set it several times for special occasions, and Iíve always loved the look and feel of it.  One of these days Iíd like to ask her to do an updo for me.


My advice is to keep on experimenting with your husbandís hair and keep encouraging him to try new styles Ė even if some may consider them to be ďfeminineĒ.  After all, most of the ways I wear my hair are feminine, but so what?  I like them and they look good, and thatís all that matters.  My wife encouraged me to grow out my hair in the first place, and she doesnít mind my feminine styles at all.


Iíve never had bangs, so I canít give you advice on that.  What kind of bangs did you want your husband to get?  I think really short ones might be a nice contrast to the shoulder length hair that he now has.


Anyway, those are my experiences.  Let us all know what your husband has been doing with his hair, and let me know if you have any questions about my experiences.

Posted By: TMortis
Date Posted: June 30 2009 at 6:38am
hey les- i have had perms for years, not recently however.  the first was a body wave, but my hair was shorter, so it was more just sticking out full.  That however, with long hair would give you the wave, but also the body to hold a set, or curling iron set longer and better.  Go for it.


Posted By: les237
Date Posted: July 02 2009 at 1:25pm
Tommi - thanks for the encouragement.  I'm sure that someday I will take the plunge and get it permed.  I think I'd like a curly one, when (if) I do get it.  I may wait till it's a little bit longer, though.

What was it like to take care of your perms?  Was there a lot of day-to-day upkeep?  How long did they last?

Posted By: TMortis
Date Posted: July 03 2009 at 8:44am
First- do not wait- the longer you wait, the less likely you will do it.  Try one- a nice body wave.  Then to get curls- roller set it on small rollers.
Taking care of a perm is all about conditioning.  Shampoo and deep condition.  I loved to wrap my hair in a plastic sheet with the deep conditioner - the warmth oof my head and sometimes with help of a hair dryer- kept my hair healthy.  They last about 6-8 weeks and then you need a trim and it will last another 2 months.  I used to perm on month one-  color on month two trim month three perm month 4  etc. You get the picture.  Good luck


Posted By: les237
Date Posted: July 04 2009 at 12:32pm
Tommi, thanks for the encouragement!  To celebrate the holiday, I had my hair set yesterday.  I had a blast at the salon and my hair came out SO curly. It really feels (and looks) great!

Posted By: FLShampooboy
Date Posted: March 12 2010 at 11:19am
I've often had long hair, and generally wear it in the boring guy ponytail style. Occasionally a braided pony-tail. Sometimes just loose. At home though I've put it in pig-tails, braided-pigtails and a high ponytail and worn that walking the dogs.

I've also had a spiral perm, it gave me some loose curl and good volume/body. Some negative reactions to the perm but mostly positive. One female boss in fact got upset when I cut the long hair.

Posted By: Jojoswr
Date Posted: March 12 2010 at 2:45pm
I've never had really long hair but uised to get perms. For the last year I've had my hair bleached and toned a light blonde. Was teased at first but I really like being a blonde and keep it in a short pixie.

Posted By: TMortis
Date Posted: March 25 2010 at 12:53pm
i love this post - I have been really thinking about getting a perm again. I know I would 'take some heat', but i love the texture and feel of permed hair. As far as color- it sits in the hall closet waiting for me to do it.


Posted By: Swissboy
Date Posted: January 24 2013 at 11:29am
A few years ago, my wife suggested that I grow my hair.
She roller curls it 3 or 4 times a week and styles it with every manner of hair clips, she also likes me to wear hair bows.

Posted By: jamiejenj
Date Posted: January 27 2014 at 7:56am
Sweet!!i wish I had a girl to make me do that.

Posted By: MicHB
Date Posted: October 22 2014 at 1:45am
I just had to respond to these posts. I've experimented with all sorts of hair accessories- hair combs, flexible combs(comb headbands, circle comb), Goody barrettes with the teeth underneath the edges (impossible to find today), banana barrettes(clincher comb, ladder barrette, teeth plastic headbands with teeth of any design, hair claws, and ponytail circle combs. So I guess I at least know something. Funny, I did these things back in 1984 way before sports players were making a big deal with their headband image. Cut me a break will you.
   The bottom line is that any hairstyle masculine or feminine today should be perfectly okay. Back in the 1980's I usually combed it back with gel and normally pushed it back as far as the ears. I never got into the poof in the front, just pull it back tightly with my hair down or in a ponytail with a circle barrette or ponytail circle comb. Sometimes I wear barrettes to pull the crown back- a comb worked just as well. My wife and I would work in the garden like that or I would wear it in the neighborhood like that. In general PUBLIC I wore side combs a lot. I guess that makes me a forerunner of all hair concern.
this. It is easier for you today. What do you think I encounter in 1983. I still did it and it was not an attack on my masculinity. If you can't handle it-don't do it. Stop seeking for public support, Never be free if you don't.
Go for what makes you happy     

time for change

Posted By: sarahelizabeth
Date Posted: December 20 2014 at 3:51am
Hi I'm Sarah and I'm transgendered. I wear my hair in a wedged bob and am always coloring it. Now it's brunette with red highlights. I can't go full time yet but most of the time I'm home from work I'm dolled up. I love these chats so write me if you want. I'd love some feedback. If a guy loves pretty hair let it shine and be seen with lots of accesorries if necissary. Lol.

Posted By: MicHB
Date Posted: September 05 2018 at 3:13am
Sarah Elizabeth,
I totally agree

time for change

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: January 20 2019 at 3:58pm
I'm a guy and have had bobs on different lengths and now my hair is near mid back. Oh and I've always had bangs.

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