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Hair for a boy competing in girl's pageant

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Category: Hair Talk
Forum Name: Hair Politics
Forum Description: The politics of Hair is a slippery slope...
Printed Date: September 18 2020 at 4:05pm

Topic: Hair for a boy competing in girl's pageant
Posted By: Allison M
Subject: Hair for a boy competing in girl's pageant
Date Posted: July 14 2015 at 3:03pm
Hey all. I have a question that I'm hoping folks on here will be able to weigh in on with some advice. Hopefully it will get noticed here. I had trouble selecting because there are so many forums, but this one seemed like previous topics were similar. Anywho....

My issue is this: My son Aidan is going to start competing in pageants, but he'll be competing as a girl. I'm trying to find a hairstyle that will allow him, as far as possible, to look like a normal boy during his regular life, but that will look fantastic when done up for pageants. Aidan is nearly 7 years old, has thick straight light brown hair that is currently about 1" below his shoulders, and a face that I would call somewhere between oval and heart-shaped.

Those are the basics of my question. However, I'm guessing that a little more background might lead to more helpful answers and less rude comments. The first thing I emphasize is that Aidan wants to do this. I would never force my son to do something like this if he didn't want to. However, I'm sure you all understand that some young boys are as pretty or even prettier than their female counterparts, and Aidan definitely fits into that category. It was actually my sister who suggested the idea. She competed in pageants until she was in her 20s, and her daughter did for a time as well, though she's headed into the realm of tomboy over the last few years. But my sister told me that she sees "the spark" in Aidan that makes a child a good pageant contestant and suggested it. I thought that she was crazy at first, but she pointed out that Aidan has always had a tendency towards girlishness. It was actually him that begged me to let him grow his hair long two years ago, and once I saw how gorgeous it was going to be, I certainly didn't discourage it. So eventually my sister presented the idea to Aidan and asked him if he wanted to try dressing up. He was uncertain at first, but agreed to try, so we gave him the works--hair, makeup and nails--and found one of my niece's old pageant dresses he could wear. As soon as we saw how beautiful he looked, my sister and I both knew that he could compete and were hoping that he would be interested. After some consideration, he said that he'd try. Since then, he's dressed up a few more times, mostly casually in my nieces hand-me-downs. But recently our church had a womanless pageant fundraiser. Aidan asked if he could compete, let me dress him, and he won! He also enjoyed all of the attention and that really lit a fire under him to do a real pageant. He even picked his own girl name: Angela.

So there it is. I'm happy to talk about this more if anyone is has general questions, but mostly I'm hoping for advice regarding the hair as I stated at the beginning. Thanks in advance all!


Posted By: Ricc
Date Posted: July 16 2015 at 5:08pm
I find your post fascinating and I love the idea of males who wish to be allowed to express their femininity. However, I'm pretty sure that with most pageants not being a genetic female could mean disqualification if he wins. Also, seven seems more than a bit young for whole makeup thing even for females. This sort of thing certainly isn't for everyone's tastes-- that's for sure. I wouldn't let my seven year old enter one.

Anyway, I've been an adult for a long, long time and have usually worn my own hair long in styles that ranged from feminine to androgynous. For more of a "guy" long haired look, you really want to keep a basic blunt cut-- either horizontally cut across the bottom or tapered toward the back. This cut can easily be worn in a ponytail or braid, which is how I usually wear mine for workaday wear. Such a cut can easily be set or curled or put up in whatever currently trendy feminine style one chooses. I love the look of layered hair, but you don't see a lot of young guys with the look. As for specific styles, you'd be better off looking at the gallery section of the website for styles that can be accomplished with such cuts.

Anyway, please go into this sort of thing gently with your son. I would not enter him into a pageant presenting him to pageant officials "as a girl". This will be asking for trouble and could do emotional harm to your son before it's over.

Posted By: jennifer_m
Date Posted: August 15 2015 at 9:44pm
Hi. I am a fem guy and I think it is great if he likes it. My hair is currently cut in a Lob (long bob) blunt just above my shoulders with blunt bangs. This might be an option for you and your son.

Posted By: NanciB
Date Posted: August 17 2015 at 7:20pm
Allison, I love the new name your child chose: "Angela". Pretty name.

Good luck with the pageants!


Posted By: Allison M
Date Posted: September 09 2015 at 9:59am
Hey All. Thank you for the comments and encouragement. I'd almost forgotten I'd posted on this forum. Actually, I was reminded of it when Aidan came home from school on Monday with his hair French braided. Apparently one of the girls (who according to Aidan is "very cool") liked his hair and wanted to braid it. But it made me think of my question here.

Jenn and Nanci, thank you for the encouragement. Ricc, thank you for the very thoughtful response and the advice on a style. As for a couple of your questions, I understand your concerns about his age, especially given his gender. Believe me, I'm not going to turn him into one of those toddlers and tiaras girls. My sister and I agreed that, if he wants to do this, that he'll always look natural and age appropriate. No pancake makeup or scandalous outfits that I'd be ashamed to wear myself. But when we've used makeup on him, it's really only been to highlight and accentuate his natural features. We're also not intending to use extensions to lengthen his hair halfway down his back or anything like that. Really, he's just a very pretty child in a way that transcends gender. He's also friendly, energetic, and has a lot of natural charisma. So despite his gender, I think that the pageant thing is a natural outlet for that.

As for the rules of pageants and disqualification, I'm deferring to my sister on those counts. She's the one that knows about this stuff. According to her, the rules of most pageants don't specify gender. In fact, she tells me that there are a growing number of boys that compete both as boys and as girls.

As to where we are with this issue, nothing has happened yet. We had thought about doing a pageant in the late summer but schedules didn't work out. My sister has mentioned it a couple of more times and Aidan has asked about it as well, so I think we'll probably do it eventually, but I'm not rushing into anything. As for his hair, I'm mostly just taking the approach that Ricc advocated. Keeping it neatly trimmed, all one length, fairly bluntly cut in the back. But it grows fast and is so pretty. I admit that his hair usually ends up in curls a couple of times a week. But I'm still pondering a style. I think some layering could really remove some weight and give it more body, but I'm hesitant. Anyway, I'd still love to hear thoughts on this.


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