Lots of colors and very sad.

First off, I`d like to say hello to everyone and I hope someone can offer me some solid advice concerning my situation. Here goes... Rump length hair, dyed over the years with reddish browns (clairol) to kill the gray, eventually I made a mistake, used a Ferria color and the roots went orange and the rest almost black, still haven`t figured out what happened. Called Clairol, next big mistake, was told all I could do was use Black Azure with 10 vol peroxide to fix the problem...and did that, not realizing that black was a huge no no. Now my hair was black as coal, but I actually loved it, glossy, lots of compliments, except from mother, who said I was too old for it, me being nearly 40. Went to a salon where the owner himself stripped the black out, leaving it very, very dark brownish red. Loved it, until the pink purplish "glow" started showing up. Called another salon, a specialist in color for 21 years, she tells me he never should have put the stripper on it and she would have just done several weaves to lighten and then eventually color the hair again. Only way to get pink out is to lighten, she says everything will be fine. We do it and I lose a lot of hair in the process. She`s not used to long hair and uses a fine tooth comb, stretching and breaking clumps of pale yellow streaks. Finally I got the nerve to say, stop, got a few picks and showed her how to get through long hair before she ruined anymore of it. I`m near tears by now and we end up having to cut off over 4" of hair(judging by the hair on the floor that she quickly swept away, I knew it was more like 6"), this plus the 3" the original stylist removed. Never had streaked hair before and I nearly flipped out when I looked in that mirror. Well, once styled, it looked really lovely, minus a few orange specks at the roots here and there. I paid $250 + $50 for supplies. My hair is in bad condition which is something I`m not used to, dread washing it because that means combing through it. I condition a lot, but I`m very depressed about the whole thing. Now the roots are about 1 1/2" long and pretty much what I would call a black-brown with gray peppering. Dark roots, streaks of pale ivory, a tad of orange specks here and there, some golden brown and dark, reddish brown with barely noticeable pinkish glow in the processed part which is my entire length....oh my gosh, what do I do now? I fear going back to this lady, she was very nice and supposedly their best, but I can`t afford to lose anymore hair with another weave. Did she do the right thing with my hair? I`m wondering if parts of the hair melted because it took so long for her get the hair foiled? Not that it matters now, I suppose. My roots are almost black, wish I`d just left the black dye in and told everyone to mind their own beeswax. Is it possible to now dye the length of my hair, all ten colors of it, to match my roots? I don`t want my virgin hair ruined with dye, if possible. Can I still have my bangs frosted, or will that look ridiculous? I`d like to keep my hair, if possible, and cut off a few inches each year until the damaged and dyed lengths are gone. I`m absolutely sick over this whole thing. I don`t even know if my hair can handle a dye job, especially the highlighted parts. Would I be smarter to take my losses, do my crying, and just crop it all off and start over? I`d really love to hear from an experienced stylist on this because I`m at a total loss here, and I don`t want to run to another salon and get talked into something I`ll regret later. Thanks so much for your time.