managable

I need something that will make my hair more managable.. I have very thick spongy hair, it`s not really coarse, yet it never gets bone straight.. I use to never condition my hair, but recently i started, and i do so about every 4 days.. I usually only set my hair, but when i do blow dry.. My hair sticks straight up instead of falling down, like i think it should..

Anyway once i braided my hair for about 2 months and used lots of pink moisture.. After that it was sooo soft and managable.. Not stiff and heavy like it normally is.. My hair is also very dry, and i have to put lots of oil in it which also weighs it down... Any products, that i can use to make it softer and hang better.. Any types of conditioners, or oils, i heard of some people useing curl activater??? Pls any help...