Unruly hair (damaged?) help plz

My hair is very unruly. Where do I start? Wellm in the shower, hair strands stick up while there is shampoo or conditioner in my hair. hair strands also stick out after rinsing (shouldn't hair go straight down due to the weight of the water and gravity?). Anyway, after the shower, hair strands always stick up. most of the front part of my hair goes down when i comb down with my fingers but then some stick out. This especially happens on the top of my head where hair just don't want to listen. Hair strands curl in, out, and all around. It's not attractive. It's not just a curl, they curl all over the place.. some like a 'J' shape, some like an 'S' shape, some like a 'C' shape, and some that make weird zigzags. Even when i would gel my hair, hair stands would somehow ignore the gel completely and still stick up. Can someone give me maybe pictures of men who have damaged hair or a good indication of damaged hair because i googled a lot of things and I still don't completely understand what damaged hair is. Is my hair damaged? What products should I use? I've tried many shampoo/conditoner types, like for damaged, dry, to get straight hair, to make hair thicker, etc. I plan to try this shampoo called SunsetHair.