Relationships and Hair...

I`ve seen the debates going on about women cutting their hair despite the protests of their who say they`ll leave if they do it. I agree completely that any man who would threaten to leave their girlfriend or wife if they cut their hair has serious control issues.

So if a man didn`t "Demand" or give any ultimatum, but simply asked if his mate would mind keeping her hair longer because that`s what he was attracted to, would that be more acceptable?

Here`s my standpoint on it. I`m one of those men who has always loved long hair and always will. Please don`t berate me for giving an opinion, but I simply do not find short hair attractive in any way. I am in not saying that short hair is unattractive, I`m just saying I don`t personally like it and I am physically and sexually less attracted to women with short hair.

My girlfriend knows this, and I there was a time when she told me she wanted to cut hers short. I didn`t throw a fit and tell her I would leave her if she did, but I merely explained how much I loved her beautiful head of long blonde hair. She knew I liked long hair, but I don`t think she realized how much I loved hers until then.

She didn`t refuse but instead brought up a good point. About a year earlier tore my ACL. I couldn`t work out or exercise for a good six months. Because of this I gained a little weight around the paunch. She very nicely explained to me that I may be gaining a little too much weight and was starting to look a little oafish. Then she asked me if I would try to lose it and I did with no questions. Since we`ve been together we`ve always taken great strides to try and make each other happy.

These two situations were no different. She remembered what I did for her with no questions and has never thought of cutting her hair since. Some women may think this is totally materialistic, and that I love her only for her hair. Completely untrue. To me she`s the most beautiful woman in the world long hair or not. She knows that I`ll always think she`s BEAUTIFUL even if she was completely bald, just like I know she`ll always think I`m handsome even if I gain 200 pounds. But we try to do everything we can to make eachother happy and to stay ATTRACTIVE to one another. And it works.

After all that, here`s my question. I`ve seen most responses from pro-short haired individuals that say "It`s only hair." If it`s only hair why should it be such a big deal for a woman to leave her hair long if she knows it will make her mate happier? I can understand a single woman cutting her hair and that`s fine, because only she has to deal with the consequences. But once you get serious about someone you`re no longer living your lives just for yourselves, you`re also living them for each other. And that means compromise.

And I know someone is going to pipe up and say "Well if you love her and respect her happiness you`ll compromise and let her cut it because she`ll be happier." Logically it doesn`t make any sense. I can`t all of the sudden become attracted to short hair. I`ll never prefer it over long hair no matter how hard I try.

If she had disregarded my feelings and cut it anyway I would have felt extremely hurt and that my feelings didn`t matter to her. I wouldn`t have broken up with her but it would have been akin to me saying to her "I don`t care if you think I`m getting fat, I`m going to stay this way whether you like it or not." I know she wouldn`t be able to all of the sudden become attracted to someone overweight.

Again to avoid flames I`m going to restress, 1) I don`t think short hair is unattractive in general, it`s just unattractive to me. 2) I would never end a relationship merely because my mate cut her hair.

Just curious what everyone`s opinions would be on this subject.

. But once you get serious about someone you`re no longer living your lives just for yourselves, you`re also living them for each other. And that means compromise.

Hello Boogieman:

Personally I think it is totally romantic when someone tells their partner in life that they really love them for themselves like when you mentioned that you really like her hair. Sometimes in life knowing this as it makes a woman feel so beautiful knowing that her partner is accepting becomes so much easier to make the partner happy just knowing that the partner finds that a certain lenght of hair is just perfect. At times that compliment becomes so personal that a woman treasures it very close and dear to her heart. It sounds like you are at that level. I had that sort of deal with my own husband.

At times it is more a control issue and the woman totally loses her identity and it is very wrong. For example my mother who happens to have short hair was going to marry this male until he started to make demands and one of them was that he wanted her to grow her hair long and she felt that she wouldn`t like nice with long hair so she broke up the relationship because of lack of acceptance.