quote: Ellen originally wrote: or, What do I do with this mop?
I have thick, STRAIGHT and slightly coarse hair and I never know what to do with it. I try to pretend it's not there :-) but lately I've been coming out of my denial. What makes matters worse is that I'm a petite person, so the size/bulk of my hair (or lack of it) is an important issue. This is one reason why I've avoided a perm.
If I wear my hair long, it's so heavy that it falls upon itself. And no, mousses and sprays don't really help. If I get it cut short, it only ends up looking like a helmet -- no matter how many "layered" cuts I've tried. Most of the layered cuts I've gotten seem to be merely random hack jobs.
Maybe I just have not found a good stylist -- but I consider a stylist "good" if they don't start off the session by whining, "Your hair is so THICK!" (subtext: "I've never seen such thick hair before in my life, you freak! I'll just have to hack and hack and hack away at it indiscriminately until you get wise to the fact I don't know what I'm doing!") I've developed a healthy fear of stylists... part of the reason why my hair is currently grown out long - bangs too.
I've gone the ponytail route, too. Trouble is, my hair is so thick that any ponytail just sticks straight out from the back of my head. Not very attractive. Barrettes and other hair graspers also don't seem to be made for people with thick hair. (Recently, I came across a "thick hair" barrette that was labeled that way and almost died of shock. You'd think they'd make products that are a little larger and have more "capacity," but that was the first time I ever saw a product specifically labeled "for thick hair.")
To make matters worse, I have a very fair complexion and dark brown hair (almost black)... so that mass of thick dark hair falling heavily all around my tiny white face just makes me so depressed when I look in the mirror. Yet I cringe at the idea of going to the stylist again and having her give me another helmet 'do or hack job. I'd like to keep my hair longer... I'm just looking for the perfect way to put it up somehow. (Or waiting for the guts to shave it all off)
When I hear people complaining about their thin hair... ooohhh. They don't know how lucky they've got it.
any ideas????????
Signed, the Cave Woman
Jane Bullock who writes for HairBoutique.com has super super thick hair. I mean, it sounds just like your description of your hair.
She has cursed her hair for years until about 3 years ago when she discovered a bedhead spiked look. Now she swears by the look and she absolutely looks fabulous in it. It may not be for you but I have to tell you that her super thick hair is perfect for the messy soft spikey bedhead look. The look gives her helmet defnition and softness yet looks totally cool. Recently she added the little flips at the sides and it also looks really nice.
She also has flirted with lots of layers, like you, but told me that just getting the crown heavily texturized really helps the over flow of her potential helmet head and helps the thickness. She also gets her hair thinned from time to time and that also helps quite a bit, according to her.
I do suspect, as you mention, that you have not found the right stylist. In some ways this is a lot like finding the perfect mate. I have a great stylist now but it took years of asking people and really trying to find someone that didn`t hack up my hair. I got several butcher jobs and so I can totally relate to your pain.
One way to help with the heavy black hair around your face is to consider having highlights added around your face. This opens up the face and will offset the dark hair and highlight your complexion. Yes, again, you need a good stylist.
I am not sure what part of the country you live in but if you let me know the general vicinity I might be able so suggest someone.
I would also suggest that you call and make and appointment specifically for a consultation only. Tell them upfront you want to pay for their time but do not want them to touch your hair at that session. One thing to know about stylists, although many do care very much about your hair and happiness with it, there are also many that are looking to sell your services like cutting and coloring. So they want to "do something" that they can charge for. That is why it is so important to have just a consultation. Pay them for the consultation so they don`t feel the need to cut or chop or color at during that time period.
Get a few consultations before you feel comfortable letting a new stylist work on you. Don`t let them do anything drastic at first until you get to know how they work. Ask for just a trim of 1/2 inch to remove split ends or ask them for a conditioning treatment.
Another thought is to call salons and ask if they have someone on staff who specializes in thick hair. If they say yes, go for a consultation. If no, then you know they have noone with the necessary expertise.
I have thick, STRAIGHT and slightly coarse hair and I never know what to do with it. I try to pretend it`s not there :-) but lately I`ve been coming out of my denial. What makes matters worse is that I`m a petite person, so the size/bulk of my hair (or lack of it) is an important issue. This is one reason why I`ve avoided a perm.
If I wear my hair long, it`s so heavy that it falls upon itself. And no, mousses and sprays don`t really help. If I get it cut short, it only ends up looking like a helmet -- no matter how many "layered" cuts I`ve tried. Most of the layered cuts I`ve gotten seem to be merely random hack jobs.
Maybe I just have not found a good stylist -- but I consider a stylist "good" if they don`t start off the session by whining, "Your hair is so THICK!" (subtext: "I`ve never seen such thick hair before in my life, you freak! I`ll just have to hack and hack and hack away at it indiscriminately until you get wise to the fact I don`t know what I`m doing!") I`ve developed a healthy fear of stylists... part of the reason why my hair is currently grown out long - bangs too.
I`ve gone the ponytail route, too. Trouble is, my hair is so thick that any ponytail just sticks straight out from the back of my head. Not very attractive. Barrettes and other hair graspers also don`t seem to be made for people with thick hair. (Recently, I came across a "thick hair" barrette that was labeled that way and almost died of shock. You`d think they`d make products that are a little larger and have more "capacity," but that was the first time I ever saw a product specifically labeled "for thick hair.")
To make matters worse, I have a very fair complexion and dark brown hair (almost black)... so that mass of thick dark hair falling heavily all around my tiny white face just makes me so depressed when I look in the mirror. Yet I cringe at the idea of going to the stylist again and having her give me another helmet `do or hack job. I`d like to keep my hair longer... I`m just looking for the perfect way to put it up somehow. (Or waiting for the guts to shave it all off)
When I hear people complaining about their thin hair... ooohhh. They don`t know how lucky they`ve got it.
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