I think I killed my hair :(

 

This time, it felt and looked great after the first couple washings.  I wash my hair once every other day, so basically it was fine for 4 days.  Then the third time I washed it, it all went to crap.  I noticed the very first time that I washed it, my hair was extremely elastic while it was wet.  It was literally like those small strings of elastic that are sometimes in underwear?  It was that elastic.  But then it felt and looked fine when it was dry so I didn't think too much of it.  But then the next time I washed, it was still as elastic, AND it was really kind of sponge-y, and got extremely tangly and matted.  I can get it all combed out, then go to comb it 10 minutes later and I can barely get the comb through. 

 

I looked up symptoms of damaged hair online, and from what I've found, the extra elasticity is actually sign of more severe damage than if it were just dry and brittle?  The strange thing is that even though it's like this, it's actually really soft and really does look fine.  Just a couple days ago, someone said to me, "Your hair sure looks good, especially considering all you've done to it!"  (If she only knew!)  It's not breaking off, not dry or brittle, I have no split ends... so what's the deal here?  Is it severely damaged?  Can anyone recommend some really GREAT deep conditioners?

 

I had used Nexxus Emergencee the day I had it lightened this last time (it was recommended to me to do so).  I followed the instructions to a T.  I wouldn't really think this has anything to do with that... I mean I know it's supposed to bring back elasticity, but this is ridiculous!  I just can't help wondering though, because I noticed it felt different after I used it, even before I went to the salon.

 

Regardless, I'm thinking that I want to just dye it back to brown.  This is just a hassle and I don't want to end up having to cut my hair super short!  I'm getting married in August so this would NOT be a good time for that!  Plus, each time I've gone in, it looks perfect the first several days, then it always darkens up at the roots, so I have to go *back* in.  She doesn't charge me for it but of course I tip her, rather generously because I feel bad that she doesn't charge, so it still costs me. 

 

When I do dye it back, how exactly do I go about that?  I've read that if hair has been bleached, you have to put the red back in before dyeing it your desired color.  Do I just use a straight red dye?  Or an auburn?  Or would a reddish-brown even work?  And how long should I wait before doing that?  How long would I leave the dye in my hair, considering it's SO porous right now?  I don't want black hair, which is what I'm afraid of getting! 

 

Any help would be appreciated!