QuoteReplyTopic: How Do You Respond? Posted: August 24 2007 at 2:52pm
When someone appears with a dramatic new hairstyle that you think is boring or otherwise awful, how do you respond? It's easy for me to offer a kind word on those rare occasions when the radical change is an improvement. Or, if I haven't seen a woman in a while and there is significant new growth.
But when the change is for the worse, I get tongue-tied. I used to lie through my teeth, and offer a phony platitude. Then, however, I got reemed by a couple women who scolded, "How could you say that? It's terrible!" Even if you agree, you are in a bind!
So anymore if I'm in close confines and feel compelled to say *something*, I simply state, "That's a big change!" That way the woman is free to thank me (Yes, it's happened!), or comment about it in any way she chooses. I'm neither critical nor insincere. Now, if as happens often, she says that the stylist cut or layered too much, I tell them to find someone whom they can trust next time. However they respond, my neutral comment allows me to follow *their* lead.
How do the rest of you react in these uncomfortable situations? Curiously, Bob
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I would ask that person what they think of their new style. If they are excited about it, I tell them that is wonderful! I am so happy for you! If they seem iffy or blah, I tell them first what I like about it (always start positive) and then what I liked better about their old hair style. If they ask me straight out what I think, I will tell them the truth - since all of my friends always know I tell what is on my mind.
Bob, you know I've been through this. My sister-in-law and my best friend who both went all their teen years with quite long hair have now opted for shorter styles - one slightly below shoulders and the other at chin length. They don't bother to ask what I think because they know. I find it easier to simply remain silent on the subject.
edited to add:
This last time my best friend got hers trimmed into a new style, I did venture to say that her new stylist did a good job on it. (though she wasn't really going any shorter than usual)
It's nice when one is able to "dodge the bullet" and say nothing, Hairbraider, such as a few days ago when this pretty bobbed Spanish woman sat down at our break table with her new pixie cut. Now, it was extremely well cut, but it made her look so, err... matronly? (She is about 50, I guess.) I just smiled and nodded as the other gals were gushing.
Later, one of the women who knows I live for long hair asked me if I thought she looked "just stunning". I replied that it's nice, but I'd *love* to see her thick hair long. That was just between us, of course. She laughed, 'cause she knows me well! And, she confessed that she really missed her own long hair. Bob
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Bob 