help with my really annoying hair

ok.. my hair in a nutshell.

My stylist tells me that my hair is thick, wavy, but extremely easy to work with. I'm the daughter of a hair stylist, and i know how to work with hair, and i STILL don't know how to work with my hair.

I have it cut short, extremely razored, with razored bangs, ability to have it spiked towards the back, etc, and all that jazz. It's above ear length.. different lengths, etc.

it's also constantly dyed, so its a little frizzy, buti can USUALLY work that out by the amount of wax and stuff i put in it.

Here's the dilemma. I can't find a good style, other than the times that i get it styled by my stylist.

Normally i part it to the side (the bangs) because thats the way my hair likes to part....

now what products do i use.. i've tried all the different artec waxes, the kiwi wax, the paste, redken smart wax.. all that stuff just makes my hair uber sticky and then the ends look all weird when im styling it.

my stylist usually uses the smart wax on my hair, flat irons it, and poof, it's magical. i have NO idea how she does it, because i watch her closely, try to do it on my hair, and it turns out looking all weird.

where should i start .. she dries it with a blow dryer first but doesn't use a brush.. just hands.. then she just puts wax on it piece by piece and flat irons it.. i wish i could do the same.

recommendations? i'll even post a picture of my hair if you want to see it.

maybe i should be using different wax... not sure.

well i think God may have been looking down as i was posting that, because after I left work, i went down to the Olive Garden where i had left my checkcard the night before, and happened to see a mall behind it.

I got my card, and went into the mall. thinking i'd find a trade secret and try something new for my hair... well...

not only did i find a trade secret, but I found the Aveda store.

I bought the Sap Moss shampoo & conditioner, the self control stick, and their illuminate pomade (i think thats what it's called..)

i asked them if my flat iron was good, which is a tigi lil' hottie. they said that it was "okay" but i might want to look into getting one called "Chi" .. they said it was a pretty penny, but for my hair, i'll spend anything. :)

after spending about 55 bucks on the shampoo/conditioner/pomade/wax, i went to trade secret where magically they had one last chi flat iron left. i bought it and went home, showered, tried the shampoo and conditioner and as soon as i stepped out of the shower, i felt the difference in my hair.

my hair felt like silk. i left the conditioner on about 2 minutes, and i rinsed only for a few seconds, so that it was still slightly in my hair, but about 95% rinsed out.

anyhow, the difference was incredible. i dried my hair with my hands until it was dry and STILL soft, and then i used the chi flat iron. that thing gets EXTREMELY HOT. hotter than the lil hottie would ever imagine being, so be CAREFUL. it leaves your hair burning hot, but i still managed not to burn my hair :)

my hair was flat as a board and sticking up like i wanted it almost even before the pomade and the wax. i then used a tiny bit of pomade, and it made my hair look a little shiny, it had a little hold so i initially set it with that. this stuff is HIGHLY concentrated so dont use too much or you'll look like oil just poured on ya...

then i took the hair stick and went nuts...

this is the first time i've EVER been happy with the way my hair has looked after i've styled it.

may i recommend aveda hair products to all and the chi flat iron is the best i've had so far!