Bio teacher needs advice on dealing with long haired male student

I am looking for some advice on dealing with a situation with one of my students. I teach biology and we have a lot of lab work. It has been a long standing policy for our school/class that hair longer than shoulder length should be at least tied back. However, after an incident last year this has been modified to require it to not only be tied back but also secured up above the collar so that we don't have long ponytails swishing around dangerous chemicals or naked flames.

I have a male student that has, in the last week, transferred to my class (our school in fact, following a relocation of his parents). He has slighlty than longer shoulder length hair - sort of bra strap length.

We had a lab class yesterday and I had to remind him of the schools policy. To make this brief, he didn't like what I was telling him. As the only boy with long hair he felt singled out and believes that I am trying to make him look silly. He agreed to tie his hair back, but not wear it up. I couldn't accept this, as the responsibility remains on me to enforce the policy, and I had to exclude him from the class and make him sit it out.

I have the same class again on Tuesday. I don't know what to do next. On a confrontational level, I could send him to the Principal and force him to comply with the school code. But I would far sooner discuss this with him and get him to understand that this is a safety issue, is for his and all the other students benefit and isn't about singling him out.

I am writing here for some advice on two levels.

One is, how do you reason with an adolescent teenage boy, in a situation like this. His view is that he is just being singled out and I am humiliating him by insisting he wears his hair in the same way as the girls. (As an aside, I have about 5 girls in the class who are also affected by this ruling). I have already shown him the school rule and explained how it isn't about one sex or the other, it is applied to everyone irrespective of gender.

The second question is, what sort of 'style' could I suggest that he may be comfortable with. I think it needs to be simple so he can do it himself. I thought a simple claw clip might suffice, but a friend said that he may find that too feminine an accessory. I'm kind of at a loss. The other girls in the class either wear their hair in buns, or braids, or use hair claws.

Any suggestions? I would really like to handle this in a compassionate way without making this child feel awkward.

Thanks

Elaine

You may do well to take him aside and explain to him that you think he probably feels singled out (so he knows you realize it) and that you are sorry about that, but that you're just concerned for his safety, and that the rule must apply to everyone or the girls will find it unfair. Speak to him as an adult with a compassionate tone so perhaps he'll realize you do care and don't want to embarrass him on purpose.
Hats suggested above are a good idea. If hats aren't allowed, he can use a ponytail holder (one of the thin plain ones boys with long hair usually wear) to at least put it in a ponytail if nothing else. One thing he could do is put the ponytail holder around the ponytail, then after the last twist, instead of pulling the ponytail all the way through it, he can just pull it halfway through so the ends are still caught under the band. That would make the ponytail half the length it would otherwise be, that way he's complying with the rule like everyone else, but it doesn't look as embarrassing as a claw clip probably would.
Good luck,
Susan W

I would like to thank everyone that replied. There were some very creative options which shows the value in posting here. In fact, I would personally find any of these acceptable. Nonetheless, I am in a position where I also have to work inside the rules of the school otherwise I can get in trouble too. As background, we had two incidents last year where one students hair was badly singed and another managed to topple over a bottle of acid that was precariously close to the edge of a bench. In both cases the long hair was tied back, but still 'loose' and this led to the school tightening its rules.

In response to the ideas posted here:

Unfortunately, our school does have a no hats rule, so that option isn't viable.

I liked the idea of tucking the ends of the ponytail inside the elastic. However, I am not sure if I can swing this as an interpretation of the rules.

The idea of his tucking his hair under his shirt is actually a nice idea. Again, it's not within the rules, but I would think it would be hard to debate the logic of this, unless his hair could work loose during lab which I think would be unlikely.

To illustrate what constraints I am having to work with, here are the rules as outlined for hair.

4. HAIR

4.1 Before entering any lab area, students with long hair will be required to keep it securely fastened away from their face behind their head.

4.2 In any lab using matches or fire, long hair must be confined or tied back in such a way that it is not loose and cannot be exposed accidentally to a naked flame. For shoulder length hair or longer, it must be secured in some fashion such as clipping it securely to the top of your head; loose pony tails or pig tails, including long loose braids, are not permissable.

Thanks

Elaine

Hal, thank you for your take on the situation. I was discussing this with another teacher today who has the same student in his class. He said much the same as you and said I should just stick to the rules and not put myself in a position where I undermine either my authority with this student (and the class), or undermine my position with the school in trying to accomodate him (and expose myself to problems down the line).

This other teacher made the point that this student is a non-conformist (hence in part the long hair), but is also somewhat anti-authoritarian (this is already becoming evident in some attitudes).

So I am kind of back to square one. Basically insisting that he ties his hair back but then clips it up in some way so it's not loose. The argument being that we don't bend the rules for the girls, so why should we for the boys. I am not looking forward to tomorrow - I hate confrontations.

Elaine

Jimmy, that is another good idea. Everyone here is so creative. I will certainly suggest this to the student as an option.

For the timebeing though I am not going to get any more churned up over this. My stomach is in a knot from tension. I dug out a large clip from when I had longer hair and will take this in tomorrow. He can twist a ponytail back behind his head and clip it up, or he can sit out the class if he doesn't come with another option already. He's had the weekend to think about this too and I bet I have been more worked up than he has over this.

Thanks for all your input.

Elaine

Hi, DNA! My advice is to do exactly as Susan W said! As a 14 yr old girl, I do that all the time to keep my hair out of the way. It doesnt even take 0.5 of a second to do; just tell him to tie it back, but on the last tie dont pull it all the way through. its really, really simple and the hair doesnt fall out or anything. This really isnt my place to say this, but I think the pupil in question is being a bit unreasonable. After all, in my school there is a boy with long hair who wears his in bunches! Thanks, Amy.

Amy and Aimee, you two girls have no idea how much I appreciated seeing your posts this evening.

Amy, I agree that this boy is being unreasonable and as Hal said, I think he is pushing me to see how far he can go. I notice you come from the United Kingdom, I have relatives there. What are bunches though? I don't know that term in relation to hair. How do others react to the boy with bunches? Is this something he chooses to wear or does the school require it?

Aimee, I am going to print out your post and have it ready to show this boy, as I am sure it will echo the sentiment of all the other girls in the class.

Just to let everyone know. He did end up taking the class today with his hair pulled back into a ponytail and then the loose end clipped up with my clip onto the top of his head. This wasn't before a stand off however, where I threatened him with failure if he did not take this class. I also explained to him that he was making it a bigger deal than it needed to be. By making an issue he was actually putting the spotlight on him and his hair. We have another class Friday. I have given the option for him to wear his hair anyway he wants as long as it conforms to the rules which I printed out for him again. I am sure he hates me now though!

Thanks for all the support - it is truly appreciated.

Elaine

When I dont' want a pony Tail swinging, I just don't pull it through when I'm tying it up... simple as that. It makes your head a little longer, but that's about it.

I understand, from his point of view, that some teachers can be cruel about this thing; I got a lot of hassle in my school, but would it really be that hard for him to just NOT pull his hair down when tying it up?

He knows it's all about safety, he's probably just looking for an excuse to be excluded.