QuoteReplyTopic: Boy/Girl Makeovers2 Posted: October 24 2000 at 3:03am
Following my last posting I have dressed Jamie up a few times at weekends and on vacation and I have decided to try and grow his hair as long as possible (before the hormones kick in! LOL)
He is now a lot more comfortable in more 'feminine' attire, Im thinking here in termas of colours rather than making him wear a dress/skirt but Im concerned that as he grows older he may react the fun we have playing "dress-up" because of peer pressure?
Any thoughts?
Andra
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Hello again Andrea, there is always a chance that peer pressure will come into play. I think that you should let him choose. If he is more comfy in the feminine things then that is fine. There may be a time when he wants to rebel or try more masculine things but I think that will only be aphase and the true feelings will show through. I just wish that I had a mom like you when I was a young boy.
You are right. Hey, halloween is just around the corner. What is your Jamie going to dress up as? I have thought about going to work as a girl cheerleader or a school girl but haven't got the nerve yet. Do you think I should do it?
Have you not considered that by making a kind of pre-emptive cross gender decision for him, you might actually be depriving Jamie of choice? I'm not for gender stereotyping or anything, I just worry that if his hormones do end up corresponding with 90% of the population, then he could end up an awfully confused boy.
If these things follow true to form, the boy/girl decision was made by Jamie long ago. I can attest to that from personal experiences. Just have fun, for life is much too short to be worrying about or making a large issue of this. The idea of teaching him colors and styles is a great one. I've only to look on the street and around the office to understand that mothers should have spent much more time on this than they apparently do. Just a thought. Why not let him pick out his hairstyle the next time? Buy some magazines on hairstyles and let him pick out one that he thinks might be fun or one he would look good in. Maybe a "total" look might be fun. It will be good experience for him anyway and might give you new insights into his world. It might also bring an appreciation of just what women have to do to look good on an everyday basis. Good training for the future.
Hi Andrea, After seeing the pictures of Jamie that you sent me I can't imagine him having hair any longer than it is now. He is such a lucky child. I agree rather than dressing him in dresses and skirts maybe concentrating on colors and styles might be more appropriate. Twinsets, light color jeans, pretty shoes might be more appropriate. What do his friends think? Most of my friends were girls when I was his age, so it was not a big thing. We all had the same interests. My best friend and her Mom used to braid my hair frequently. We had so much fun
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Letting Jamie choose a new hairstyle is a good idea. It can help you determine what he likes and how he feels. It will also give him more of a feeling that he has a little say in this part of his life. Also, a trip to a good salon can be a feminine experience that he won't forget. I love going to the salon and having my eyebrows done and my hair bobbed hair washed, conditioned, cut, and styled. It feels wonderful.
I'm sorry but doesn't any one else find this weird? Why would you want your little boy to look like a girl? Someone mentioned that he might rebel and want more masculine clothing. Wouldn't wanting girl clothes be rebeling? I think that men (and boys) can wear any color of clothes they want....but I wouldn't think boys would want to wear "pretty" shoes and dresses. If I had a son I would be proud that he was a son and not want him to look like a girl. I think you are going to have problems when he is older.
I'm sorry but doesn't any one else find this weird? Why would you want your little boy to look like a girl? Someone mentioned that he might rebel and want more masculine clothing. Wouldn't wanting girl clothes be rebeling? I think that men (and boys) can wear any color of clothes they want....but I wouldn't think boys would want to wear "pretty" shoes and dresses. If I had a son I would be proud that he was a son and not want him to look like a girl. I think you are going to have problems when he is older.
I'm glad someone agrees with me! Don't get me wrong; I'm all for 'live and let live' but please, don't make the decision for them! Chances are the boy will be your typical red-blooded American male, and if his mother is not careful, mighty confused.
I'm glad someone agrees with me! Don't get me wrong; I'm all for 'live and let live' but please, don't make the decision for them! Chances are the boy will be your typical red-blooded American male, and if his mother is not careful, mighty confused.
I guess I need to jump in here again and relate what I know from personal experiences. See my posting of 10/27. Any "tendencies" or habits were established long, long ago. I just wish I'd had a mom like her when I was growing up. I would have saved me much greif and confusion. As I said earlier, life is much too short to let something like this even become an issue. ....and no I don't think it's weird. That kind of trust is very hard to come by in this day and age. In short, have fun.
Natalie: Why shouldnt I? Many parents, especially Dads think their tom-boy daughter looks cute, she may wear trrs or sports clothes all the time, watch the wrestling or football with her dad and be ready for a kick about or a rough and tumble
Society accepts that.
My son is extremely attractive, small boned and finely featured, and looks "right" in female attire, much better than when dressed as a boy. He has beautiful long hair, which it would be a sin to cut, and can naturally walk in
heels, much better than I. He likes cake decorating and is a leading dancer. As a loving Mom, I know where his potential lies and conforming to some outdated notion of masculinity leading to unhappiness is not it!
The day I pierced his ears, and the first time I took him out in public as a girl, were two of the most rewarding Ive ever had.
Criticize me if you must but I know my children. I live with them every day. I share their hopes dreams and aspirations. Above all. Im the Mom.
Based on your response it seems to be more about how dressing your boy as a girl makes you feel than how it makes him feel. I would seriously examine your motives, before you permanently scar your boy for life.
Just because your his mother doesn't make your actions right.
Andera, I would fully agree with you on all counts. The "it's ok for a girl and not ok for a boy" argument was the basis for much of the difficult times I experienced when I was young. I think your attitude is completely correct and instead of "traumatizing" the child, it will allow him to grow up healthier than 99% of the people out there. I wanted to learn how to cook as a child and wasn't because it was thought to be unmanly. I did eventually learn, but I had to teach myself via trial and error. That is but one example. There were many such instances. I did eventually learn the skills, buy only after much struggling. Good luck to you and your child.
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