Horrible dilemma

About a year-and-a-half ago, I cut my long hair short (I was possessed -- what else can I say!?!). I now wear extensions, so my hair is essentially the same length it's been for nearly all of my adult life.

I hated my hair short. It didn't look like me. It didn't feel like me. I absolutely prefer the "feel" of long hair. Even with hair extensions, I just "feel" more right than with my natural, albeit shorter hair.

Fortunately, I have the kind of face that can wear any hairstyle. If I could magically change any facial feature of mine, I honestly wouldn't change a thing. I look very good in short hair. I look very good in long hair.

However.....now that I've calmed down a bit from the entire ordeal, I'm able to look at the situation with a bit more of an open mind. Again, the "feel" of long hair is absolutely me. Of that, there is no doubt.

But. I look at photos of me with short hair, and well, I have to sheepishly admit that I look good. I have great cheekbones and an excellent jaw line that are really emphasized with shorter hair.

If I had to choose a style totally based on look, I have to admit -- it would be with the short hair. It's just a very sophisticated, sexy style for me. However, I just hated the way I felt in shorter hair! I feel better with hair over my ears and down my neck, and honestly, I look very good with it. But the problem is that the shorter hair really does look a tiny bit better on me.

{sigh}

I think I know the answer -- I have to do what feels best to me. And that is obviously wearing longer hair. However, part of me is a little sad that I don't look my absolute best in it. Perhaps I would feel better if people weren't quite so vocal with their opinions about it; I don't know (I HATE people complimenting my short hair).

Any thoughts on what I should do? At this time, I plan on wearing my extensions (they're pinch braid tied off with string, and they aren't harming my hair at all) until my natural length grows to within a couple of inches of where my extensions are. When my hair is that long, I can almost guarantee I won't want to cut it short! But I just feel soooo "right" with the longer hair. So "natural" in my extensions, that I don't know if I could feel good with short hair, no matter how I looked.

Help!

Jennifer, you feel you look a little bit better with shorter hair. I don't know what kind of beautiness rules you use but I am sure that it can not be generalized. I think long hair gives always an additional feature created by it's own beauty (assumed it is handled well). In this context I have no doubts, women who may not satisfy the usual beauty criteria can improve their appearance essential and good looking women only improve it. And I think that your feelings will be reflected by your outer image. If you feel so good with long hair your beautiness can only grow with long hair.

You know, I think I probably knew the answer inside all this time but just needed a little encouragement to help me realize it. Thank you!

No matter how I look, if I don't like the way I feel, then my "look" simply can't be its best. And, interestingly enough, my experience with men has been the same as yours, Susan -- although I know that there are some definite "short-hair" fans of women's hair, I think by and large, men prefer long hair on women! If I hated long hair, then I certainly wouldn't wear it that way just to please men. But. Since I like it and they like it, it seems like a win/win proposition to me. {grin} (Yes, I'll admit that I am married, and I do love my husband very much, but I think we all still wish to be attractive to others)

Most of the compliments I received on my short hair were (surprise!) from women with short hair.

Thanks again for your words of encouragement! And Susan, use your hair to its full advantage! {grin}

Jennifer