Brushing when wet

I know the tip of the day today is "Never brush your hair when wet". But, for me, I find that brushing after my shower is the only way for my hair to look right. If I let it dry without brushing it, the hair will tend to sit funny, and it will tend to tangle more and be more frizzy and less smooth. Even if I pull it back, the roots will never sit right.
But if I brush it when wet, I guess I'm contributing to breakage, which probably looks even worse in the long run.
Any suggestions on how to control my hair without brushing when wet? My hair is straight, and a bit fine, but thick. I find that my roots don't always sit right, especially if I don't brush it wet (ie, if I pull it back, or wear it down, it especially won't cooperate).

Any advice would be good.
Thanks