So do you mean you have that porcupine stiff hair that sticks up? If you keep growing it out, the sheer weight of it will bring it down and it can move on its own.
In the Asian hair forum, I've read that using relaxer's for African hair will flatten it. You will have to visit that forum to find out more. I am not too sure about how to do this.
Conditioning will soften your hair, but it won't do anything about the way it's sticking up. Deep conditioners are the more intense ones that are for damaged hair. They can also be called reconstructors.
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