Male wanting a logish style, stuck, plz help!

Well Ive been growing it for so long now I dont want to give up as its been very tough. James' hair is similar to mine, sort of. I have seen it when it has no gel in it and its also quite puffy and wavy, like mine is.

What sort of things should I do to maintain my hair? Is it worth getting it chemically straightened? I use irons now and then which seem to get it fairly straight.

Im 19, male, and Ive been growing my hair out for some time. Im trying to get a hairstyle similar to James Bourne from Busted, it is sort of longish, this is the style I want:

http://busted-rock.com/fan/btbw/ (pics are lower down the page).

My hair is sort of getting there but it gets so big and puffy on top and looks disgusting, plus I dont know how to style it until its grown to the full length. I use gels but they make the hair look greay and stringy and bad. So normally I wear a cap to hide my hair. Can anyone help me? My hair colour is a dark blonde at the moment and Ive been told that I must wait until it grows to the full length until I get it coloured light blonde with the black fringe. My hair gets VERY puffy on top and looks like an enormous bowl sometimes.