depressed red head

I was in a similar situation. In order to get rid of the orange colour in my hair I used a permanent light ash brown and ended up with medium brown hair. Now I wish I had let a pro do it, because it's too dark. I spent more money trying to fix my colour disaster than I would have spent getting a pro to do it.

You can't dye permanently coloured hair a lighter shade; it won't work. You could try a semi-permanent light ash brown -- like Natural Instincts. Ash counteracts red so this might remove some of the red from your hair, but your hair will be darker. Alternatively, you could use ColorFix to remove the permanent colour from your hair. It will cause some damage, but if you absolutely hate your colour, it might be worth it. My best advice, though, is to go to a professional who specializes in hair colour correction. If you try to fix it yourself you risk damaging your hair and/or ending up with something you hate even more.