Hair is very critical to a person's self-esteem. I love my job, because when I apply hair extensions or a hair piece on a client, and for the first time in their lives they actually like their appearance, it is a very powerful confidence builder. I am always very excited to see thier reaction.
I know for myself, as a teen in the 80's when big hair was all the rage, and my crappy fine, thin hair caused my tremendous amounts of grief. I truely believed that I was ugly. Hair extensions has transformed me into a much more confident person, and when you feel more confident, people treat you differently.
On my days off, when I don't put in my clip-in extensions, if I go out to the store or something I feel invisible. I won't look people in the eye and I hold my head down. I want to be invisible.
Being a hair stylist is one of the best jobs in the world!
We're all artists and we wear the art of our craft. My favorite mantra for my art students, "In art there is no wrong."
I really love this and I am going to remember it often. It is also so true that we must take care of ourselves first to be able to truly take care of others. Like the old saying goes, "If mama ain't happy nobody is happy!" Kat, as you also said, "Don't give so much that you leave yourself empty." This is something that I have to remind myself. I sometimes feel like I am not doing enough when others say I do too much.
Again, wonderful posts from everyone and you truly are fantastic, beautiful and intelligent women.
Amanda - congratulations on the up coming wedding
Kat B
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I'd like to add another thought to this: If you give of yourself all the time and leave nothing for yourself, you'll have nothing left to give. By taking care of ourselves first, we're able to take care of others. There's a reason for the airline's safety announcement at the start of every flight? "Place the oxygen mask on YOUR mouth and nose, before placing one on the child's face."
Natural disasters will still be occur even after we're all long gone. IMHO - Manmade disasters affect me more. There's a viciousness to them I loathe. Take each as they come and give what and how you can. Don't give so much that you leave yourself empty.
Rare are the Mother Theresa's of the world. Remember: She was a nun. She had job security. She didn't have rent/mortgage. She wasn't married. She didn't have a 9-5 job and as far as I know, she had no relationships that she needed to maintain (i.e. family, etc.). She was an inspirational woman and I loved her dearly, but I know I'll never be like her because of the reality of raising a family in the mainstream sector of the USA. Hence my siggy.
If we ignore our own health, mental state and spiritual well-being, we can't function fully. I work with victims of DUI crashes. I MUST take care of myself before dealing with the emotional impact of a family's crisis.
We all face stress differently. Hair obsession is an outlet for creativity (echoing Rae here.) We're all artists and we wear the art of our craft. My favorite mantra for my art students, "In art there is no wrong."
(Except those blue rinses that little old ladies get. What's with that?)
Reality is not your friend.
Amanda8beech
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LOL this is one of the best threads I've read, its so good to find people to chat with that have a common interest and are as mad about hair as we are, it is I agree totally addictive. My boyfriend quite often says to me and also other people ask me if I get sick of sitting there installing hair for five hours to which I say "no". I can't think of a better job in the world than making people feel good about themselves and have more confident. The smile on the client's face at the end of the day is such job satisfaction like you wouldn't believe, it makes me so happy. When I've got my own extensions in, I can't stop pruning, touching them and playing with different styles, I'm getting married in 5 weeks so I'm going to install my own next week and I can't flipping wait!!!
Bridget
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Amen to all of the above! I could never put it in words better than you guys! I totally agree with it being a craft, and crafting is a hobby. And hey, if you can do it for a living and make money doing what you enjoy, halaluya(sp)!
It is what it is...
darthmom
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Great responses everyone :) Not having the chance yet to play seeing as I haven't gotten my hair yet...but I would have said the same thing, Just seems damn fun, and you can look good while being creative. I can't wait till I can experiment with some wilder styles, braids and funky colors.
aside from that, I have a lot of space in my head that IS filled with a charitable focus, and need some "me" time. We all do. Especially those of us with a family. I am lucky enough to not have to work, I couldn't imagine having a 9-5 with two kids!
What superior responses! I have to say I am all so proud of all of you and thank you for making me feel that yes, my hair and I have a place in this world!
BTW Amm, you have changed quite a bit. Did you get the boobies too? We can always count on you to make light of a “serious” situation.
Edit - Amm had a Dolly Parton picture up instead of her own. She has now changed it back to her lovely self.
Ive had short hair for most of my life. When I got my first long hair wig, I self-conciously wore it out in public and I got paranoid because people were staring at me! Then I noticed that men were holding doors open for me and even SMILING at me. Complete strangers would come up to me in the store and tell me what pretty hair I had. Checkers would ask me where I got my hair done. ME! The person who had been mostly invisible for the better part of her life. Do I like the attention?? YOU BET I DO! Do I act differently when Im wearing my long hair wig? YOU BET I DO!
Neither my husband nor my kids understand my obsession with hair. That look my husband gives me when Im looking at hair online, or reading this board for the umpteenth time today? I give him the same look when he buys yet another tool...when my son buys yet another video game, or when my daughter buys yet another pair of shoes...lol
I think it's not just vanity for a lot of us, but also a hobby. It's almost like crafting, only the end result is a lot more useful than some silly painted-wood tchotcke! Everyone's got a creative impulse, and we've all got our ways of channeling it...beading, designing webpages, cooking, baking, carpentry, etc. It's just that we -wear- ours. :)
Though there is, also, a noble part to the whole appearance side of it. It comes into sharper relief when you look at people who have serious hair loss; then you see how much appearance really does affetc self-esteem. Like with my recent work on my mom; she has hair that breaks off at a few inches long, and even some that breaks off at an inch long, causing a small thin spot that she always tries to cover, causing her some insecurity about her hair. It's wonderful enough to give people the hair they've always wanted, but even more so when it's something they could never achieve on their own (and that person is your mother.)
But more than that, I think people have this image in their heads of what their "true self" would look like, if they were corporeal. Kind of like how, in the Matrix movies, "awake" people always appeared in the matrix as they imagined themselves to be? And I'm gonna get all hippy-dippy on you all for a moment, but I think that bringing people's (or one's own) appearance closer to their ideal self-image- whether it's with long hair, pink hair, or dreadlocked hair- is a sort of self-realization. If nothing else, it's reclaiming one's body part (the scalp) from the ravages of time, chemicals, and biology, and making it truly yours, in whatever form you want it. It's a very personal and intimate (since you wear it!) form of self-expression. :) No, maybe it won't change the world, but it helps people feel better about themselves, or feel more -like- themselves (like how I just wouldn't feel like myself with plain, short, dishwater-blond hair), and that improves people's lives on a very subtle but very fundamental level.
Okay, I'm done being all silly and metaphysical now, I promise! :)
My BF and my daughter both roll there eyes when yet another package of hair is delivered to the door! The say Im obsessed with hair...my addiction! But hey, I could have worse habits! Right? LOL
I sometimes think I am way too vain, but only about my own looks.... not other peoples, just mine. I think I have to look perfect all the time, which I have yet to achieve hehehe! I also think it has something to do with getting older, I absolutely refuse to grow old gracefully, I plan to fight it all the way!
Well, first off, I think most people are far more concerned with their own adornment than they let on. Oftentimes, fake hair gets a bad rap simply because it's more obviously fake--and especially when it is worn unaplogetically so--than other things people do to affect their appearance.
The fact is, anyone who wears makeup or blows out their hair is doing something to affect their "natural" appearance. And it's often the same people who pour tons of money into their looks who are the most critical when it comes to extensions. Usually, this is because you're making aesthetic choices they would never have the balls to make, whether it's sexy, weird, or whatever.
Even with all of the cosmetics, surgery, and so forth available today, there's still a very archaic reverence for "natural" beauty--the kind people are born with. And if you weren't born with it, you'd better at least pretend that you're trying to remain somewhat natural. Anything else threatens the "beauty hierarchy." I don't know if I'm explaining this well, but I've seen it a million times.
For me, I think of this hair obsession as more than simple vanity (and there is a sizeable element of vanity to it), but it's also a hobby and a fairly harmless one in my estimation. But vanity, of course, is still regarded as a sin (but again people are hypocritical about it--it's OK to be vain, as long as you don't flaunt it).
Bottom line: I think what you're doing is perfectly fine, Kim. You only live once and you should certainly be able to have the hair you want for it!
I am sitting here and thinking - What the Hell am I doing? I am searching the internet for HAIR! There are people suffering, there are people with huge problems and I am so lucky that my life is going so well that my biggest problem in life is finding good hair. Now, let us have a moment of silence for those who are in need.........
I am a mom. I feel I am a darn good mom too. I spend lot's of time with my kids and I love them to pieces. During my free time though I am looking for hair. I should be making little somethings for the PTA but no I am looking for hair. There are people out there right now trying to cure cancer and I am looking for hair.
I have been told I have perfectly great hair - but no I want better, I want Loooonger, I WANT IT NOW!! so I am looking for hair.
Why do I do this? I am not a movie star, not a sexy dancer, not a model, not on televison. My husband loves me for who I am, my kids love me, my son who is 6 has far more sense than I do because, "Mommy, you already have hair, why are you buying more?" Why? Why you ask?
Because Hair makes me feel good. We all need something to make us feel good. I feel wonderful inside when my hair looks great. I hold my head higher when my hair is lovely and long. I love being a mom but I don't want to look like your typical mom with the typical mom hair. In my son's school I am the mom with the pretty hair. The little girls in school tell me they wished their mom's hair looked like mine. Maybe I am a star in my world? I feel like a star when people turn around and comment on my hair and I LOVE IT!!!
So, I may not cure cancer. Sometimes I make those little somethings for PTA.
But I am a hair girl and don't hate me because I have beautiful hair.
Hat's off to all of us with beautiful hair and may your quest for more hair be a wonderful one.
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