This appears to be a fetisher into punishment cuts & who wants to play everyone & evoke sympathy.
She/he posted in teen hair & said her mom went to this site to figure out her next cut??? told her two style numbers that was coming nextalso she sure knows alot of hair lingo for a nieve non-booksmart 14 year old girl.
I think the time is now for he/she fesses up
McKee
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quote: Karen14 originally wrote: I had hair about 6 inches past my shoulders until tonight. That`s when my mom took me to the mall (we were returning gifts) and stopped at the hair salon. She took me inside and told the hairdresser that it was time that I went short. I had no idea she was going to do this.The next thing I know my hair is being washed and then cut short. I now have a angled bob with a clipped back and real short strait bangs. Mom says I look cute but I hate it. She says that I may have to get a pixie cut this spring for the summer. The girls at school will laugh at me when I go back. I hate my hair and don`t know what to do. Help.
Well I almost had the exact same thing happen to me. I went to the salon and for the most part, my mom let me have free reign over how my hair was as long as it was layered(to eliminate thickness... can`t argue with that). So I figured I`d just get a slight trim of maybe and inch or so, which would make my hair about 2 inches below my shoulders. When I did, my mom went nuts! She told me I didn`t know how to take care of my hair and that it looked ugly etc etc. So we had a huge fight over it and she said I had to get my hair cut into a bob just above my chin, I cried for days just thinking about the fact that I would get kicked off the dance team because of her if she made me go through with it(We had a bun-length policy). Well we apologized and everything was still a little uneasy about my next haircut. Then, the day before I went I wanted to plead my case with my mom. So I sat down and talked it over with her and she said that I could have my hair cut so it would just barely touch my shoulder with layers or above the chin with a clippered nape. Needless to say talking it over with her helped a lot and we were both happy because I got my hair cut so it would barely touch my shoulders and she liked it! Good luck with whatever happens! K
"If everybody demanded peace instead of another television set, then there`d be peace"
~John W. Lennon
Waggy
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What a heavy topic, what strong evidence for the primitive state of many members of society, even after the reforms of the mid-twentieth century. I encourage Karen and Rachel A to stand up for their wishes. I see Rachel has an easier task, for her father is around and does support her. I think you should continue to "plead" with him to help you stand up for yourself. If he says that you don`t have to get the perm, then mother can`t force you unless he gives in. As for the emotional thing, if she is "hurt", it`s her fault. I could feel "hurt" because Brigitte Bardot, and actress from the 1960s with beautiful hair, cut it for a film role, but where would that get me? You did not try to hurt your mother, you just civilly stood up for yourself. Let the mothers think they are doing the best for their daughters. It doesn`t licence their bullying. And don`t fool yourselves. Perhaps they are doing what they think is for your own good, but MAYBE they actually enjoy controlling you or something. You can`t know for sure. I EXHORT both of you to mail me at the address I gave above. I want to give you a few tips on parent survival.
Colonel Doe
Rachel A
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I do hope it works out for Karen. I hope her mom has a change of heart. But, unless someone that her mom personelly respects their opion Karen is doomed to have repeat visits to the chair. You guys say we should refuse to do it but it`s not so simple when your parent is telling you to. It`s tougher than you think. I`m sure Karen loves her mom like me and my mom and so we do what is asked because we want to be good. I argued with my mom for weeks before finally giving in. The only option I felt I had left was to cut my hair to avoid another spiraled perm. So... I did. The interesting thing is IT HURT MY MOM because she thought my curly hair was so pretty. She was so upset that she yelled "what have you done" and "do you know how long it will take to fix what you have done." Well she is having to deal with it just like I had to deal with the perm since May of this year. My dad, he tells her all the time that I look fine and leave me alone. But she really believes what she does is for the best. I`m sure Karens mom feels the same. She is doing what she feels is for the best. Someone said "it is only hair and it will grow back" There is a lot of truth to that. Karen, you do need to talk to someone...a counselor, your priest, a relative or one of your mom`s best friends so they will know your feelings. Later
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
Waggy
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Karen - being 14 does not mean "your mom can do anything she wants"; I really suggest talking to your father, a councelor, church member, friend of your mom, whatever it takes. Do not just go along with this it could lead to further more serious abuses down the road, this is not good for you...wags
Be yourself - unless you suck...wags
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I agree with those that say you should talk to your father. This is utter unfairness. I see Rachel A is very kind toward her "good" mother who is apparently obsessed with her daughter`s appearance. Imagine wasting your energy on getting your daughter to get a perm!!!
Rachel should tell her mother that perms are unhealthy, and that there have been cases of people losing hair after them . These womens` behavior is abusive, as people said above. Far from being liberal, these mothers don`t even pick their battles, so to speak. They are bad for their daughters` psyche, and I hope the latter will win at the end. Anyone who wants to talk further can mail me at
Karen, sorry to hear that your still upset. Being your 14 your mom can basically do any thing she wants. If your dad has joint cusdity then he can help, either way I would talk to your dad. If he can`t help talk to your grandmother and tell her that your mom is being to demanding. Under normal conditions you might like the short hair but since she forced it on you and then is forceing you to go shorter in spring that makes things worse. Maybe you talk to mom and tellher that she is just going to cause you to be rebelless and do things she might not like. If that don`t work you will just have to deal with short hair for 4 years. Once your 18 you can tell your mom get lost. In the mean time you may just want to get used to short hair and make the best of it. Love to she a before and after of you. You can post your photos on http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/teenhaircuts
Rachel A
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OK, you have a problem with mom. Hmm..well the only thing I can think of is just tell her you`re not going for the trim when the time comes. Tell her you want to grow it longer and ask her is there a style that is longer than this one that she likes. Maybe she will agree to a longer short style. How short is the front or the longest part now? Is it chin length...shorter ....longer? I know you said the bangs are short. May be she won`t call your bluff if you continue to tell her how hurt and sad you are? But, I would tell her almost everyday how hurt and sad I am. You know you could go to your school counselor and ask for help. This may be bad advise but you could just refuse to get in the chair. Oh wow, I `m telling you to do what I myself couldn`t. Man, where did OUR mothers come from? I will always be here to listen. If you need to talk to others about things or just make a comment or just say hello I hang out at a message board called www. teengrls.zzn.com. Later
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
Karen14
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Rachel, I`m 14. My parents are divorced so I can`t go to my dad. My mom says that I don`t get to choose my hairstyles unless she likes it and she just likes short haircuts on me and my sister. I`m afraid I`ll really get in trouble if I refuse to go to the beauty salon next time for my trim.
karen14
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Hmm. Karen how old are you? Its not important I just wanted to know. I don`t know what to say. What would happen if you refuse to get it trimmed? Are you old enough to do that. Maybe you could talk to your father and get his support. I`m old enough to drive and have spending money so that helped me with my hair and mom. But. I think Duke is right you need to go to your dad!! God she must have really cut the nape short. I am so sorry. You will just HAVE TO REFUSE TO GET THAT TRIM NEXT MONTH!!!!!! Later
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
Karen14
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Hi this is Karen again. I still dont like my short haircut. i had long hair for so long it doesnt feel right not to have the hair on my neck and back. And the clipped back feels really wierd. My mom says I look cute and better than when I had long hair but I kept my long hair really clean and shiny. She says I will get used to it being short but I will have to get it trimmed every month now. She still wants it even shorter when the weather gets warmer. I hope I can talk her out of it because I dont want a pixie cut like my younger sister. How can I get my mom to understand that I should be able to wear my hair the way I want to not the way she wants me to?
karen14
Rachel A
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I`m sorry that everyone got so upset. My mom is not a bad mother but she makes sure that the hair and makeup are perfect before I leave the house. I feel sorry for Karen. At least I made the decission to cut my hair. My mom didn`t force me to; I did it because I didn`t want to get another spiral. So...I guess I did in a way say no to her!!! I will grow my hair long again but for now i can be positive and make the best of it. Once before I got in trouble at school and ended up being expelled from Catholc School. My dad had me read this book about 7 habits of successful people sooo I try to use that with my mom. Sometimes, though I think she is domineering. I did talk to mom about my hair. I told her I would roll my my hair in spirals a few days a week just don`t make me get a perm. She said that was too much trouble everytime. She said the perm would be less time in the morning. I was doomed to get my hair permed. But you just have to make the best of a situation. Later
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
Waggy
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This is really sick. And it is abuse. I would have not allowed my mother to "make" me do this. I think some kind of counciling is in order when a parent oversteps their boundaries like that.
It`s not the haircut that`s a tragedy it`s the relationship, or I should say lack thereof, with the parents. I would strongly encourage any "child" to say no...wags
shorthair, you are sick. I like angled bobs too (among other styles), but I`ll not compliment a mother who drags her daughter to the salon like that. In my book, both Karen and Rachel`s mothers are a kind of child abusers - control freaks who treat their daughters as if they were their barbie dolls. A poodle deserves more respect than that! Seriously, these moms need help! I think you owe Karen an apology.
Rachel and Karen, can you TALK to your moms? What would happen if you told them they were hurting yourt feelings? If you asked them nicely why they want your hair this way? If they are stubbornly insensitive, talk to your dads and tell them your moms are mistreating you. The other parent can step in and stop the offending one from mistreating you.
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