Curly hair is a CURSE - Should i get a straight perm?

Hey, it was his opinion and he needed help...it's ok, no need to jump him for it.
Try the straightening treatment out, I say, I'm sure it would work fine. Good luck.

Welcome to my nightmare. I am a 28 year old male, and i have horribly curly hair. I say horribly, because curly hair IS a curse! As a kid and in my teens, I was allowed no say in my hairstyle... so it was relativly short, and disgustingly curly... basicly a white boys' afro. I was miserable.
At 17 i got my last haircut. I have been growing it longer and longer in attempt to weigh it down and pull out some of the curl. I havnt been successful, but the length has given me a tolerable solution... I just keep it braided... ALL THE TIME. This of course sucks, because I can't (read that, "won't") take it down to wash and comb it out as often as i should (I do that about once per week). The result is that as the week progresses, more of my hair pulls out of the braid and becomes a frizzy mass eminating from my head. As a quick fix, i pull it back and rubberband it at the top of my braid. Not very attractive or practical, because when i do go to comb it out, i find it tangled and sometimes matted, which means pulling out large chunks of hair.
I HAVE tried temporary straighteners, blow drying, gels, sprays, oils, you name it... everything short of a straight perm.
Which brings me to the reason I found this forum. I have now been "convinced" by my fiance to cut my hair (something I swore i would never do again). She said she would pay for me to get it straightened if i would cut it... I agreed to a trim... as I cant bear to revert to my short-haired self... i just dont like the way it looks and it brings back memories of my tramatic (in a hair-related sense) childhood.
So anywaz now I'm pondering what a straight perm will actually do to my hair. What i really want is dead, limp, heavy hair that just hangs there, but i fear that my hair is too thin to ever have my desire. I can't afford a japanese thermal treatment, and even if i could, there is noone near the high desert of southern california who could do it anyway. SO I am seeking advice, horror stories, success stories, or any kind of help you people may be able to offer. And please, if all you have to say is "learn to accept your curly hair" or "curly hair looks so good" then please dont bother posting... I have read enough of those worthless posts, and heard enough of that garbage from people to last a lifetime... maybe two.
To those of you who have something constructive to say, I would like to thank you in advance. feel free to email replies as well as posting them. Thanx. =)