QuoteReplyTopic: Do you really need to cut off that much? Posted: July 19 2005 at 9:37pm
This thread was started back in March.
Old posts of 2 months or more def shouldn't be brought back up...they need to start a new post .That is a RULE here, which you can find in the introduction forum for new people.
Please do not dig up ancient threads. If you wish to continue an old discussion (older than 1 month), please create a new thread and reference the old one in your post.
Thats all I have to say No fighting words hehehe
*AmberJune* http://twitter.com/AmberJune01
DaveDecker
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Ugh. I'm away for just one day and look what transpires.
I believe the conversation fell off track at the point where we
individually decide for ourselves who we believe, regarding the
condition of our hair -- a stylist, or ourselves (with our own eyes and
fingers, with which we can sense very well how healthy our hair
is). I don't mean this as a slam against stylists but their
opinions can be biased in favor of "serviceable actions" (meaning $
transfer from you to them). If our "color diva" believed her hair
was healthy "enough" as is (key determinant there being a standard of
judgment based on the individual's own preferences), then that's what
matters.
It is possible (obviously, from what's been voiced here) that people
can have the same or similar goals, yet have different approaches to
achieving them... and any number of them can work (while some might not
work). The color diva's desires -- to grow her hair longer (to
her waist) and to continue to frequently color her hair are probably
not very compatible. In other words, the chances of that
happening are not good. Some believe that the best way to guide
the "color diva" is to recognize that likelihood. I find myself
in that category. I believe in dealing with realities, not
avoiding them.
The point is not so much to express our preferences as guidance, but
rather to apply what we know to help guide the advice seeker towards
what they state that they want. As the "color diva" has stated
her wishes, counseling her to acquiesce to the advise of a stylist
inclined to be biased towards "serviceable action" (payment for a 3"
haircut), without any further counsel to reconsider the frequency of
hair colorings, seems reckless. However, you are entitled to have
your opinion, and to express it, so long as it is civil. The
advise seeker is free to pick and choose among the advice offered here,
even if they make a choice which ultimately won't best serve their
stated objective.
Just my opinion. Stated calmly, rationally, and (I hope) objectively.
All that said, I would like to ask the involved to pause, take a deep
breath, and try to consider our own involvement in the escalation of
the dialogue. Certainly we can do better to keep the peace...
right?
Yes, that is exactly what I meant. I like your example, as mine was struck down by a city ordinance. LOL.
That better explains it. Even though you might be able to get the cans home just fine in that paper bag, the grocer swears it will rain, choosing plastic.
I just love euphemisms!
Birds of a feather flock together & then crap on your car.
___________
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
____________
That's actually a good example KM. In that case unless the roofer was a
bad case for the BBB he would probably do what you wanted. Unless there
was a city ordinance.
Let's see,
Bagger at the store asks you "paper or plastic" and you say "paper." Bagger then uses paper.
It's been a few months since your last post, I was wondering how things were going for your hair?
I believe many who work in the hair cutting profession deem your head to be an example of their work. Another employee in this field would not necessarily question your hair, but the 'stylist' who 'failed' to trim what they deem as excess hair. I don't have my hair cut by anyone, but I do wonder at times if there is an unwritten code instructing them to do what they think looks best, rather than what the customer asks for.
I'm not sure I'm explaining this well.
Much like a roofer. You want the shingles to hang off the roof by 3/4". All of the other houses on the street have shingles that hang off by 1/8". At which length do you think the roofer will attach them?
(Bad example, KM, LOL)
Pop in when you get a chance and let us know how you're doing if you can.
Karen Marie
Birds of a feather flock together & then crap on your car.
___________
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
____________
Member since 2000, not reg. until 2005
mom2kaymae
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Question. Why do u have issues with my post. It wasn't about YOU at all. YOu can assume what u want about my hair. I could care less. The girl who started this thread said that she colors her hair alot and uses a straightner and etc etc and she knows she has dry hair and split ends. Those were her words not mine. When i said she can get it cut and start healthy, I was just stating my opinioni like everybody else on this board but I guess when someone suggests soemthing other people don't like/agree with. It's referred to as "third grade behavior" But you telling me to take this conversation to a private messaging is not. RIght..
My age has nothing to do with anything just like your age doense't matter to me. But to throw accusations at someone who u don't know is a little immature and uncalled for and I personally can't stand that. You said that I was belittling people to feel good about my insecurities!!! What insecurities. You don't even know me. Please don't judge me before u know me. You made another assumption about me and u said that "in your opinoin you think that I believe any hair longer than mine is bad and stringy. Please do not put words in my mouth. I never said that. I have seen many many people with longer hair then mine and it is absolutely beautiful. If i didnt' think so I wouldn't try to get my hair to grow up to my waist and possibly longer would I?? I am sorry that you are judging a book by it's cover but that's not my problem. I am not signing off right now cuz i believe in your head u think that's my escape. I simply have work to do that's all. Yet again, another poor judgmetn on your behalf.
As you've assumed my thumbs down was in reply to your post, I am now convinced that posting what I have in mind is appropriate.
I had originally intended to post a reply for the subject line matter, but alas, find myself in an attempt to salvage this thread.
mom2kaymae, just in the last few days you have posted on four threads of which I am aware. While no one has asked you not to post your opinions, there is a time and a mature manner in which to give an opinion.
You mentioned eKatherine seemed to have issues with your posts. While she indicated nothing of the sort, I will step forward and say that I do have issues with your posts. I also noticed that you stay online long enough to have the last word before signing off.
Certainly I'm not a moderator, but as you stated, we may all speak our minds, I am now doing so. This, and other hair boards, are an important part of my long hair journey, and I will defend them. Karen Shelton and the other moderators are very proud of this website, and rightfully so. It is not designed to be a playground for catty third grade behavior, though I admit my thumbs down emoticon fell into such a category. It was an attempt on my part to bite my tongue. Your responses changed my mind.
Yes, it is hair, and yes, it will grow back. Your continued claim of such wonderful hair and comparison to 'stringy' 'bad' 'horrible' 'fried' and 'other horrible things' creates an impression, at least in my mind, that you feel any hair of length longer than yours fits these adjectives. When asked to post pictures of your hair, you replied that you did not know how. Understandable. And dropped. How would you feel if the other posters assumed your hair was in bad condition?
In one of your posts, you stated:
******How do u know that the hair was healthy. Did u see it personally?? Since i didn't, I simply stated that i rather have healthy hair then long hair that just looks stringy and just looks bad period. ******
Would it be fair then, to assume the same for your hair as we've not seen it personally?
Insecurity often leads to belittling others. Are you trying to convince yourself that you are physically attractive by looking down on those who differ from your appearance? To be fair, I was shocked that your profile states your age is 31.
Certainly all members of a community are welcome to speak. But not one time has a poster asked for commentary on the condition of their hair to justify such a negative response. We are on this board to assist one another, teach one another, be friends and learn things along the way. "Long Hair Support". Support being the key word here.
Just a dash of couth would be nice.
And now back to the subject of hair, please. Should you feel the need to further this conversation, perhaps we should take it to private messaging.
Karen, Chris, my apologies for hijacking this thread. I will humbly accept frowns from the mods for enabling me to respond to this one.
Birds of a feather flock together & then crap on your car.
___________
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
____________
Member since 2000, not reg. until 2005
mom2kaymae
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[QUOTE=eKatherine]I'm still trying to understand your position. You say you love and prefer long hair, but you think other people should be encouraged to cut healthy hair for no reason other than that it will grow back, because it really doesn't matter.
Perhaps your hair is just an accessory to you.
Most of us are regular posters on this board because we do care about our hair, we are trying to grow it longer, and would need a much better reason than that to cut.
How do u know that the hair was healthy. Did u see it personally?? Since i didn't, I simply stated that i rather have healthy hair then long hair that just looks stringy and just looks bad period.
Why do u think i am on this board for? I am trying to grow my hair Long and HEALTHY too!!! Healthy being the key word here. When I posted my opinion I wasn't critizing anybody or by any means I wasn't telling anyone to go cut their hair. If you can't take people's opions/ideas or criticism then why do u belong to a long hair discussion board. The board is here to help people out with advice/opinions/suggestions. Yeah my hair is an accessory to me and I love it. Why do u care anyhow if it is or not. It's my hair after all.
And Broomboy1023,
I just can't stand it when people make a big issue out of nothing. Yeah i did say it's just hair. cuz it is. I had 4 iinches wacked off by some psycho hairdresser and guess what IT GREW. Life goes on
BSL and growing
broomeboy1023
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even if hair is damaged it is not always so visiable, product and good conditionors will hide the damage. i would suggest getting like an inch cut off, split ends wont do anything but split higher if they are not cut off! and then you lose serious length, i find that my hair grows really fast after having 2 or 3 inches cut off ! but in the end do what makes YOU happy. it is true that's it's just hair to some people but my hair is my pride and joy. so dont let a siccor happy stylist presure you into doing something you dont want to do! good luck .
ekatherine and mom2kaymae stop! it's not your hair, not your post, and it's not that big a deal! so stop acting like kids.
and god said let there be hair extensions.
eKatherine
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I'm still trying to understand your position. You say you love and prefer long hair, but you think other people should be encouraged to cut healthy hair for no reason other than that it will grow back, because it really doesn't matter.
Perhaps your hair is just an accessory to you.
Most of us are regular posters on this board because we do care about our hair, we are trying to grow it longer, and would need a much better reason than that to cut.
So if someone said to you that your hair was badly damaged, and you looked at it, and it looked fine, would you cut it off?
Just looking for a few good hair slaves - is that too much to ask?
mom2kaymae
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I noticed u always like to argue/give opinion about everything. It is onlly hair and it has happened to me and guess what it does grow back.
This board is a support board for longhairs.
I never recommend that someone cut off years of growth on mine or any other stranger's whim. "It's only hair" is an insult that shows a lack of respect for the feelings, values, and commitments of others.
I myself love and prefer long hair but getting an haircut is not the end of the world. LIghten up a little will u. It is after all. HAIR
BSL and growing
eKatherine
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I noticed u always like to argue/give opinion about everything. It is onlly hair and it has happened to me and guess what it does grow back.
This board is a support board for longhairs.
I never recommend that someone cut off years of growth on mine or any other stranger's whim. "It's only hair" is an insult that shows a lack of respect for the feelings, values, and commitments of others.
Just looking for a few good hair slaves - is that too much to ask?
mom2kaymae
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Well i don't like to go to hairdressers for this reason but I rather have healthy looking hair then hair that's long but damaged, fried, and other horribel things. SO just get it cut and grow it healthy.
The point of the post is that the hairdresser claims the hair is horribly damaged, but it looks perfectly healthy to her. Why should she cut it off then?
It's only hair anyways. it will grow back
This is not the philosophy people on a long hair board operate under.
E-katherine,
I noticed u always like to argue/give opinion about everything. It is onlly hair and it has happened to me and guess what it does grow back.
I had a long post typed out and I lost it. But I was basically saying
that i agree with the others that it's up to you how much you take off
whether you do it yourself or have it done. If your hair is not
bothering you then you don't have to trim that much. Hair has a way of
letting people know when it is time to fix it. The only time you have
to get that serious about a trim is if the hair starts breaking off.
There are lots of people on the hair forums I've visited who are
growing out colors, perms, or relaxers and they are able to just grow
slowly and trim small amounts.
Well i don't like to go to hairdressers for this reason but I rather have healthy looking hair then hair that's long but damaged, fried, and other horribel things. SO just get it cut and grow it healthy.
The point of the post is that the hairdresser claims the hair is horribly damaged, but it looks perfectly healthy to her. Why should she cut it off then?
It's only hair anyways. it will grow back
This is not the philosophy people on a long hair board operate under.
Just looking for a few good hair slaves - is that too much to ask?
mom2kaymae
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Well i don't like to go to hairdressers for this reason but I rather have healthy looking hair then hair that's long but damaged, fried, and other horribel things. SO just get it cut and grow it healthy. It's only hair anyways. it will grow back
BSL and growing
DaveDecker
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Frankly, I don't believe your stylist is telling you the truth on the
trim. The primary thing that a 3-inch trim will do is take your
hair length 3 inches farther away from your waist-length goal.
You can search for split-ends yourself, and carefully trim them with a
pair of sharp scissors (the process is called "dusting" or "search and
destroy"). However, I do agree with her that excessive use of the
hot iron will damage your hair. What is "reasonable" and what is
"excessive" are subjective terms. Perhaps try to use the flat
iron less often (and try to stretch the amount of time between
shampooing).
Sarondie,
Is that your hair in your signature photo? It's beyooootiful.
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No fighting words hehehe
I also noticed that you stay online long enough to have the last word before signing off. 
.
eKatherine wrote:
