confused and needs help!

I thik you should hold off with the cutting until after your wedding and graduation b/c after you cut it it's a done deal. Right now your should moisturize and maybe use Organic Root Stimulator Hair Serum. It's mainly for bald spots an dmissing hair, but I use it b/c I have severe breakage at the crown (it's not that bad but I overexaggerate breakage in my head). Anyways it works well for me and others that have tried it.

Hmm. Let's Lamaur's bone marrow is a protein deep conditioner that you can purchase at Sally's Beauty Supply. In terms of detangling, I  do Conditioner washes daily and that's when i detangle with my fingers. I'm 100% natural btw. I bought a good condtioner on ebay that i use and i also love domincan conditioners- i have the capillo miel y leche (milk and honey) cream rinse, i have henna queen silk worm treatment, tropical avocado conditioner, tropical avocado and carrot oil conditioner, tropical wheat germ conditioner and tropical aloe vera conditioner. I purchase my dominican conditioners at www.sickbay.biz  They ship in a reasonable time frame and have great customer service. Moisturizers: I use shapley's mtg- it doesn't smell good but it makes my hair soft and much more manageable, has drastically reduced my shedding and helps with breakage too. I also love hair butters. I currently use pure, unrefined shea butter and kpagnan(gold shea butter). I use the unrefined shea butter as is and i melt the kpagnan in the microwave, then refreeze it in my freezer and it makes it have a much creamier consistency to me. I purchased mine at www.agbangakarite.com    I also ordered some sunflower butter and mowrah butter from www.camdengrey.com  this should arrive later in the week or early next week.  While i love my butters: rosemary essential oil, tea tree oil, comfrey oil,jojoba oil, grapefruit oil and shea oil are all great from what i hear. I hope this helps more.

Also it is safe to use a hood dryer weekly for deep conditioning or roller/rod setting your hair. In terms of shampoo, i use aussie or tresseme and the both work pretty good for me. Also Aussie conditioners are great for conditioner washes as well and aussie makes a great detangler called Knot Forgotten.

Edited by carameldiva

Thanks Caramel diva. does Lamaur's bone marrow have a detangler in it?  And what kind of shampoo would you recommend?  When my hair gets wet it waves and tangles.  I know to use a wide tooth comb after washing but I get really scared of all the tangles.  Also as far as heat goes I can limit my use of thermal styling tools, but what about hood dryers?  I do not know much about them.  Are they considered as a big no no for drying my hair. And I know about hair dryers so I will def. stop using them.  Since my hair gets frizzy though how can I ensure that it stays straight instead of frizzy.  And another question. When my hair is wet, the waves actually look nice after I have combed the tangles out.  I wouldn't mind going for that more natural style, but like I said, as soon as it starts to dry it frizzes.  Is there a way to keep some of those waves minus the frizz when it dries?  Thank you again.

I have mixed hair (not bi-racial, but both of my parents were so my hair is not 100% like black hair even though many of the same elements are there).  What exactly should I use in my hair??  It's breaking on the sides but the back is healthy, thick and strong.  The breakage on the sides(wearing my hair down with a part in the middle) is due to too much heat with a flat iron (which I have stopped using).  People talk about getting your hair cut short will be the best plan...but I have a wedding and graduation coming up soon.  If you've ever seen someone with extremely protruding ears and a long face, you might be able to understand why they would not want to have them displayed on 2 very important days in their lives where lots of pictures will be taken.  It is bad enough that my parents won't be able to see these special events, I really do not need another reason to make these occasions harder and frankly sadder than they should be.  I mean a bob would look cute on me if it weren't for my dumbo ears and my long narrow face but I mean I don't want to have to look at all the pictures from those days and think about how not only I wished my parents could be there, but I wish I didn't look completely stupid. I mean you only have one wedding day if you're lucky and I've been waiting for college graduation for years now and I've worked my butt off and suffered through many tribulations and I deserve to be happy because I've earned it.  Is the only option to look like a jack-a$$ on my special days?? Is there anything I can do temporarly to get my hair to look presentable on my 2 days at least until I can save up a couple more thousand dollars for reconstructive ear surgery (which I've always wanted but never had the money to pay for it because of college and everything else)?? Please any advice for the time being and remember my hair type...the closest description I could give would be that it is similar to type 2 hair.  When it's wet it is wavy...but as soon as it begins to dry it gets REALLY frizzy (like Diana Ross frizz) and when it is in healthy condition it shines a bit (the back of my hair is pretty shiney and the sides used to have good shine, but now it's getting a bit duller. 

Hi Dancin, I know how devestating it can be to have to CUT a bunch off. I had to about 2 years ago. But  you know, once it is done, you'll love how great and healthy your hair looks afterwards. How often do you use heat?? I use to use it once a week, But I now go once every 2 and I'm seeing better growth results.

thank you Layla.  What products should I use by Aphogee and where are they available? What kind of deep conditioners do you suggest? I would like to start using them right away  When you find a solution for the dots could you maybe send me a line and let me know what has been recommended?  Thanks again!

I have spent hours looking through this forum for answers to my questions and have seen lots of different advice. Before I ask my question, I would like to give you some background info on my situation.  In high school I had very healthy hair and went to a stylist at least once a month for trims, touch-ups or what have you. Then I graduated and moved out of state to go to college.  With having the extra expenses such as college tuition (YIKES!) and the added expenses of living on my own I simply could not afford to go visit my hairdresser and was really scared of finding a new one.  Even if I found one, I still probably would not have been able to afford it. So I began doing my own touch ups about every 4-5 mos. Then about a year ago I noticed that my hair was short in one section of my head...on the top back.  I guess the breakage there was due to overprocessing and not having the advantage to be able to do a thourogh job for my entire head.  So I stopped using chemical.  Because my hair gets frizzy and turns Diana Ross-like with even the slightest bit of moisture, I straightened my hair with a flat iron with out usage of a thermal styling spray to help protect from the heat.   Also I had (and still do) wear my hair up because of dance class. Anyone who has taken dance knows how the policy for hair is...hair must be pulled up tight in a bun for ballet and in a ponytail for tap, jazz, lyrical...and competitions and performances were the worst.  Because of this I stayed away from elastic bands as much as possible and opted to use scrunccis which I do not know if that made a difference or not. Even though that was and is how I wear my hair for dance, I usually wear it down, straight with a part in the middle. I have an ear deformity of pertruding ears which is my biggest insecurity and always has been...I mean having ears that poke out from your head literally...it's just not attractive and is very embarrassing and I wear my hair down to cover them up. Any how, I have serious split ends and on the sides I see the little white dots in little random places from where my hair had been damaged (from heat) and has since broken off. In the back, the area from a year ago that had broken off from the relaxer has been growing slowly, but the rest of my hair in the back is in good condition with the exception of the ends.  My hair is about 4 inches past my shoulders on the sides and about 5 inches in the back. Of course I love this length, but I know that I need to trim the split ends.  I have trimmed my ends before (with specific shears for hair) so that is no problem, but I seriously do not know what to do about the breakage from heat on the sides.  I've read so many comments about what I need to do from protein to whatever else.  Cutting my hair off past 5 inches would be very devistating. Not only do I have severly protruding ears, my face in long and hair less than chin length would not be a good look for me at all.  I have graduation coming up soon and then my wedding...two days I have really been looking forward to and dreaming of ever since I was young.  I would be greatly upset looking bad on my special days...especially my wedding.  I mean to me that is going to be one of the most important things to happen to me and it is supposed to be memorable and I would be deeply saddened if my special days turned into important events where my biggest insecurities were exposed.  Is there a way that I can strengthen my hair some and repair it just enough that all of it will not have to be chopped off?   Like I said before I would be willing to cut 5 inches off if that would help any but going more than that would not be a good look for me at all with my long face and large ears that poke out.  Someone please help because the truth is that I have been having anxiety issues for the last 3 weeks about this whole situation and this is not exactly what I want to be freaking out about right now.  *Sorry this is so long  and sorry for any typos or mispelled words... I'm just a little overwhelmed but thanks for reading...it is greatly appreciated.