Here's a suggestion, "shop" for a stylist. Go for consultations and try to really find someone who understands that you are serious about growing your hair but that you need only very minimal trims to keep the ends healthy. When you find someone who really does exactly what you say, then tip that person well, and I'll bet you'll be happy with the next trim, as well. Many stylists may just decide to trim it the way they want, so I think it's really important to discuss this with more than one or two sentences that don't really show how serious you are about very minimal trims.
If it's long enough you could try the twisting small sections method. Meaning take a bunch of strainds and twist them and if split ends pop out from the twist you can snip those.
I'd advise follwoing a certain pattern. Like divide your head into zones or sections and try to concentrate on one section at a time. You don't have to do the whole head at one time if you just remember which sections you've already gone over. You could even give them a certain order to help you remember.
I am currently in the process of growing my hair longer, but as it is a chin-length bob at the moment. S&D is very hard to do, as my hair is not long enough to pull around to the front so I can inspect the tips.
I have not trimmed in at least 5 months, and I can tell I need it. Trying to snip using a mirror is tricky, since everything's reversed and it's hard to see the ends from several inches away anyways.
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