I hope you guys can help!!!

It is dry but I do use good conditioners and let them sit to penetrate the cuticle about once every three days, while using a mild shampoo on the roots (oily). I do have split ends but I also haven't had my hair cut in about 3 or 4 months.  I would be wary of bleaching it at this point, but I wouldn't be uncomfortable with dying it with permanent hair dye.

I just found this board and I'm so excited to get some good opinions! I've read quite a few posts to see if someone else has had a similar situation but no luck yet so here goes!

My natural hair color (per Sally's) is a level 6 blonde...to all us non-technical people, it's that not blonde nor brown shade that resembles dirty dishwater-yes, that's what I deal with. lol I have been all shades of the spectrum throughout my life, naturally. I came into the world with black hair, it fell out during my toddler years and was curly red, then moved here to GA and it was more blonde, then it darkened to the level 6 blonde, with a red hint in sunlight. I really wasn't kidding when I say I've been around the spectrum in my life!

I have gone really blonde several years ago (accidentally-had someone pull ALL my hair through a highlighting cap...was not cute!) and it was almost transparent. That was when I first learned that my hair takes & removes color very quickly. I colored over it with a dark ash blonde color and LOVED it, even though my head hurt like someone had beaten me with a baseball bat afterwards (did it all in less than 12 hr. period). This was about 8-9 years ago and has since all been cut off.

I went a long time with just my natural color but here lately, I grew tired of just having a blah hair color that does absolutely nothing for my skin tone. So, I decided to go medium brown this winter & it was nice. Then I messed up and did a GOLDEN medium brown about 2 months later, and it was ok except for the awful reddish tint that was just awful on me! (I have very cool/pink skin, and I also have mild rosacea so anything red just makes me look like my face went through an explosion.) After I got tired of that for a few months, I decided that I really don't look like myself with dark hair, and the reddish tint was NOT working for me, so I used L'Oreal Paris Colorist Secrets Hair Color Remover from Walmart since my nearest Sally's is a good drive away. I knew it would come out hideous and was prepared with a box of L'Oreal Hydrience in Starfish (dark blonde).

This was my first experience using a remover & knowing that my hair pulls/accepts color quickly, I only left it on for 20 minutes, NO LONGER. My hair, natural roots and all, lifted to a color similar to apricot. *AHH!* I knew it would be horrendous, so I went ahead and dyed with the Hydrience (which made my hair REALLY soft...it's been 3 weeks and it's still incredibly soft...too bad I don't think they make it anymore) and it's an OK color, but it's more strawberry blonde than I care for.

I want to get to a light-to-medium ash blonde, (around a level 8 or 7, no lighter than an 8 though) as much as I can, to counteract the reddish-gold tones in my hair. My hair does have split ends (I'm overdue for a haircut...) but I do intend to get it cut after I get my color to a more acceptable (i.e. less red) level to get rid of the bad ends.

My questions are, would it be better for me to a color using a permanent dye (I'm thinking Ion Color Brilliance 8A is very close to the resulting color I want so may buy that) or should I try a toner since my hair is approximately a level 8 at this point? If either one would work, would the toner perhaps be a little gentler on my hair? And if you do recommend a toner, exactly how does it differ from a hair dye & is application the same? (mix with developer, etc.) I have read a few comments in here with people with similar questions but I'm not sure if it would do well in my case. I really appreciate the advice!