2nd or 3rd day messy look

if the gel is super hair you might break the hair?????

Well...I could just suggest a couple products I used to use for a messy look when my hair was shorter....
I played around with 2 L'Oreal products called "Remix" and...umm..."Out of Bed" I think the other one was called. They result in somewhat similar effects although the raw products are pretty different in texture (ones a thicker, gluey paste, the other is a more gel-like substance). Frankly it's been a while since I used them so I forget exactly what kind of messy look they gave, but you could give them a try.

There's one other technique I would use sometimes. Instead of a pomade or paste product I would just use a regular hardening gel, and spike my hair or just mess it up with the gel, and let it harden. Then, once hard, I would rub my hands through my hair back and forth to loosen up the hardened spikes of hair. This resulted in getting rid of that wet/hardened look and giving a more fluffy messy look. One thing to be careful of with this technique though: some gels produce noticeable flakes when messed up after hardening in your hair. I think it depends on certain chemicals in the gel or something....not sure.

Anyway, those are my suggestions. I'm still not exactly sure what you mean by "2nd or 3rd day" messy look.....but you could give these things a try if you haven't already. Who knows maybe you'll get what you're looking for!

Dave