QuoteReplyTopic: Headscarves and Veiling Posted: January 05 2004 at 1:45pm
Even though I am a Buddhist by religion, I often wear a headscarf and sometimes a full Arabic veil when outside in the world. The modest dress of Muslim women appeals to me even if I am not of that faith. A long dress and headscarf, and sometimes a full Niqab or Burqa gives me a sense of feminine modesty and spirituality. It also affords me a sense of seriousness, of submissivesness, and of privacy, and of peacefullness, despite some prejudice towards Muslims, (and it may be thought that I am Muslim for wearing such attire).
Nonetheless, I often dress this way when I have a chance. I have scarves, long dresses and veils in a variety of materials and colors.
Are there any other woman here who wear a headscarf or veil, either for personal reasons, spiritual/religious reasons,..... or just like the fashion statement of a headscarf, long dress, or a veil?
Modesty and Submissiveness is a virtue
BaldJasmine
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I often wear headscarves but mainly for fashion reasons. I don't wear Muslim headscarves but many of the Muslim ladies I see do look very modest and feminine in their scarves. It does look lovely.
There is some suspicion, unfortunately of women wearing Muslim style headscarves today, which is really too bad and unfair to Muslims who are not even remotely connected to terrorism or radical Islamic religion.
.
pixie lady
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I'm not prejudice against Muslims, but I guess I don't understand why a woman who is not a Muslim would veil herself. I mean once in a while just to do something different fashionwise it might be interesting, but I wouldn't want to walk around in public every day all covered up and veiled, especisally in the hot weather of summer!
Kuroneko
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Well, I like the idea that veils keep men from looking at you as a sexual object all the time, but I wouldn't wear them myself. I'm just not into anything meant to make women subservient or keep them in a traditional role, in any way.
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Veiled Lady
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I know that many people don't understand traditional women. Even fewer understand the joy of being a submissive woman. I believe things go in cycles and that many women crave a traditional life. Tradition is making a comeback. Feminism has gotten old for many women. You read more and more about women and their men again adopting traditional roles in their relationship.
Some women, like myself, desire for both spiritual and sexual reasons to be kept subjegated and live the life of devotion to our man. It takes a special man and a special woman to make it work. Veiling is an expression of modesty, devotion and love. There is nothing more exciting spiritually and sensually than to be veiled, to be a submissive woman and to be treated as such in a loving, gentle way by a man that you love and who loves you.
Modesty and Submissiveness is a virtue
pixie lady
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*shrugs* If some women want to be subservient, it's their choice, to be made for themselves on an individual basis. What I rebel against is the idea that all women have to be kept subservient or treated as inferiors to men. I'm for equal rights and equal treatment for all people, so I think women should have the very same rights, privileges, and opportunities men do in all areas of life. I won't be controlled or kept subservient by anyone, especially not any males, and I hope for the day when a majority of the women in the world will feel the same way. Equality will never come if we don't demand it, and struggle towards it every day, in every way.
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pixie lady
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Women do have equality by law Kuroneko in western countries.
In fact we have even more than that, in some cases we even get affirmative action. We also get custody of children in 90% of the cases.
Women pretend like we can't do what we want, but in reality, western women do pretty much anything we want. I know I do what I want. No one stops me really from doing whatever I like,(within the law that is!!!).
This whole submissive/dominant thing that VeiledLady is refering to is voluntary, and alot of it is based on her sexual/sensual predilictions. Some women get a charge out of that, it makes them feel feminine and sexy.
Kuroneko
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Modern Western women are much luckier than most, but still not totally equal. It's still harder for women to be taken seriously in the workplace than men, and women still get less pay for doing the exact same job as a man, for example. It's like a zillion times worse in some countries, though. There are places where women have to do everything their fathers say, without question, until they're old enough to marry. . . at which point they're expected to have the same arrangement with their husbands. There are places where men can rape, abuse, disfigure, or kill their wives or daughters if they displease them, and the law does nothing about it. There are places where girls are intentionally mutilated so they can never have pleasure from sex in hopes it'll keep them virginal until marriage, and keep them from sleeping around on their husbands after marriage. Women have a really long way to go for equality in many parts of the world. I think it's largely up to the modern Western women who do have more rights to help out and stick up for the millions of women around the world who don't. Nah, I don't watch too much Oprah. . . just I do watch a lot of her shows that focus on telling the stories of and getting help for women like those. . . Oprah's cool, man-- she cares about all the women and children all over the world, and tries to help them all :-) . I wanna be her someday.
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pixie lady
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That is the biggest myth of all, that women get paid less than men for the same job.
Yes women on average make less than men, women are more inclined to interrupt their carrers to take time off of work with kids and be stay at home moms. Also women have a tendency to go into fields that pay less on average than men, but every credible study shows that women with the same amount of education and work experience as men in the same occupation make about the same amount of money.
BaldJasmine
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It started out with the woman wondering if other women veiled or wore headscarves, (for whatever reason) and it ends up being a political debate on feminism! So it goes I guess.
To me it is an individual thing and also a cultural thing. A woman who veils or wears a headscarf, (as long as it is her decision), should be accepted by others.
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demodoll
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I know it is a sidetrack but I have to wade in on this one. My generation was on the cutting edge of feminism and I would say that there are a lot of us out here that feel like that has gotten us nothing but grief. If you talk to a lot of women in their forties many are divorced and full of regrets. Being treated equally is fine and it is good that we are protected by the law, but I wonder if trying to wield the same type of power as a man when in a relationship isn't a terrible mistake. There are different types of "power" in the male/female relationship and I would call myself submitted, not submissive, which is a bit different. I choose to make my husband the head of our family. It works much better that way when raising kids, conducting business, and in keeping us solid. Believe me, I get my way with him and I am much more successful using more traditional feminine methods than by going head to head with him. That doesn't mean that I treat him like he is stupid or anything and that I don't stand my ground when I feel it is necessary but I think in the family sense, the man should be the head of the household. That also means that I have to trust him in every way. Not always easy but I try to live by the golden rule so he can trust me. I believe I am getting as good as I give.
Men and women are just different. It is a mistake to lump us into one category. Each sex has different things to offer so the differences are good and balanced.
In the workplace it is a different matter. I have never felt discriminated against (computers and healthcare) or that I was treated differently than the men I worked with (actually sometimes I was treated better, especially when traveling). But then, I wish I didn't have to work at all. My children would have been better off being raised by me than by a series of nannies and daycare providers but that is what the women's movement bought me. A load of regret! I can't get the time back now but I am fortunate to be able to continue my career as a telecommuter so I am home all the time. Everything in life is a tradeoff. Be sure you don't make the wrong trade.
I would rather be a woman than a man any day. Their roles have gotten totally confusing and they are blamed for EVERYTHING these days!
OK, enough of the rant.
"It is better to look marvelous than to feel marvelous" Billy Crystal
Kuroneko
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I guess I basically lump all humans together into one category. I just think humans are humans, and everyone should be treated equally regardless of age, sex, race, orientation, disability, country of origin, etc. It's probably a very simplistic and idealistic view, shared by very few, but that's how I am. Of course, different people have different strengths and weaknesses, but I can't assign roles based on gender any more than I could any other categories. There are some men who really aren't qualified to manage money, or discipline their children, or even just open jars or kill household rodents *laughs*, just like some women aren't good at cooking, cleaning, or nurturing. I'm more of the opinion people should do what they're good at rather than just what they think they should do based on gender or any other status they just happen to be born in.
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demodoll
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I used to think that too Kunoneko but the older I get the more I see the differences and the wisdom of women of the past. I do agree that you can't generically lump either sex into categories since there will be exceptions and variations in every group. But, in general I think men are programmed to be providers and protectors and women are programmed more toward nurturing and nesting. That doesn't mean that we each can't encroach on each other's turf but there are differences beyond how we look. And I am happy for them......
"It is better to look marvelous than to feel marvelous" Billy Crystal
Feminists have gone too far in throwing out traditional values between men and women, with terrible consequences for families and children. We need to balance out the traditional roles of men and women with modern ideas; -but to throw out tradition too much is a huge mistake. Let's hope our society understands that, and achieves some mix of the traditional and modern.
bollywood
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Ya I know what you're talking about. I watch a lot of Indian movies with beautiful girls like Manisha Kiorala and Aish dressed in saris and gorgeous colored veils. I want to wear one! It's so feminine and coy looking...especially if you are young and have a beautiful face peeking from underneath.
BaldJasmine
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Agreed. Women from India are beautiful. Their style of attire is beautiful too. I'm very glad that some of you seem to understand the value of tradition. A society that disregards tradition is a society that will fall into decadence and decline. Veiling may not be for every woman but it has enhanced my life greatly and assisted me in rediscovering so many valuable virtues. It has enhanced my modesty and spirituality (in my case Buddhist) It also has enhanced my femininity and given me great pleasure. A real woman loves to feel feminine and a real woman loves to serve her man. Wearing a long dress and veiling has helped me focus on what is really important to me as a woman, a human, and a spirtual person. Niqab is now my form of dress.
Modesty and Submissiveness is a virtue
Kuroneko
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That is the biggest myth of all, that women get paid less than men for the same job.
Thank you pixielady. That rumor keeps getting spread, and it is just so untrue. In fact, in several fields, women's salaries (comparing equal education and experience, which is the most important thing) actually are higher than men's! Women in the US do not realize how lucky we are. We have MORE than equal rights, and sometimes I feel sorry for the men, especially in child custody cases. A lot of times, a woman will be given custody based only on the fact that she is a woman. Veiled Lady, I don't dress like you, but I just want to say that I deeply admire you and your values. Unfortunately, a lot of people don't understand your lifestyle and are quick to condemn it as thinking you are inferior, but I think you get a lot more respect than someone who dresses like a prostitute!
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