QuoteReplyTopic: people treat you differently now? Posted: November 03 2005 at 1:40am
Okay so I'm bored and I don't know if this has been posted before, but I was just wondering if you think that you are treated differently when you have long hair as opposed to when you have had shorter hair? I've noticed now that my hair is getting longer, people have been treating me in a more romantic way and for some odd reason, men seem to approach me much more often now. Aside from things along that nature, I also get kind of negative reactions. People (strangers!) come up to me, pull on my hair, then procede in asking me if it's real. Also if I wear my hair up in a ponytail, people actually ask me if I'm wearing a hair piece or they'll ask if they can touch my hair--for what reason I don't know! I don't know whether to be insulted or not so I just let it roll of my shoulders... :) And all the people that for years told me to grow my hair long are now telling me to chop it all off so it'll be short again. I don't know what to make of people and my hair, but I was just wondering if any of yall have been noticeably treated differently with long hair? Wow this is kind of long ---guess being tired I didn't even realize I was rambling! Sorry
People have always been nicer to me when I have longer hair than when I
have short. Maybe because it looks better on me, and people have
a tendency to be nicer to people they find prettier...I don't
know.
If a stranger came up to me and pulled my hair I'd be so mad! I
don't know why anyone would tell you to grow your hair long, then tell
you to chop it all off. First of all its not their business to
tell you what to do with your looks, second, sounds like they're just
getting off on controlling you (feeling like they're getting you to do
what they want instead of what you want). I'd tell them in no
uncertain terms to mind their own business.
Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com
Tyranna
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How good does your hair look mahaya? If it is really nice, it might explain both the positive and negativ comments. It may look so good, people assume that it is fake, so they may not mean to be insulting. But who exactly is now telling you to cut it off again? Could they be threatened by the attention you now get?
Sugaree
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I have pretty much always had short to mid-length hair. So a couple years
ago I decided to grow it out. I had grown it to my mid-back area ( which
is the longest I've had it since I was a little girl! ) It really looked great, I
would get complimented all the time. Men would honk there horns and
whistle at me... not that I desire that kind of attention, but it did make me
feel sexy. I would look at myself passing by store window and think
"awsome". I was so proud of my long hair... but one day (FOR SOME F*'N
REASON) I decided I was tired of the matinance, and the ends were split...
so I compulsivly chopped my locks. When I got home and took a shower I
realized what I had done. AHHHHHH! I cried for like three hours!
Not that my new haircut looked BAD... but I really LOVED my long hair! It
took SO LONG to get it that way, I felt I had regressed. Having long hair
made me feel very feminine and sexy, now I just feel... ordinary.
Don't let the man get you down ~ me
1c MC iii Dark Brown, 22" Goal: Waist
Pampinetta
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I used to have hair down to my elbow and guys would chat me up a lot, specially when I was in France for a month (maybe because I'm blonde and many there had dark hair?). Then, just like Sugaree, I cut mine of and it's now shoulderlength, though on its way back to long. If I curl my hair now and make it all big and Hollywoodish I get a lot of looks and men honk there horns at me. However, that makes me feel so uncomfortable that I don't curl it anymore, much to my hair's pleasure. I'm sure people treats you differently depending on how you look, so I don't think it's just the hair (although it is a huge part of your looks).
Edited by Pampinetta
mahaya
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Hey thanks yall for replying. Ummm...my hair's condition could be better, but it looks really healthy. My hair color is black (practically) and really thick. I'm sure if I didn't straighten it once or twice a week it would be in better condition, but if I want my hair to be manageable, I have to. Thank goodness my hair is on the coarser side cause then it can handle the abuse! The people that tell me to cut my hair are some of my friends. Those were the exact same people that told me I should grow it long when it was shorter. I don't know, what they say doesn't really have much weight in the decisions I make anyway so I guess it really doesn't matter!
When I first began growing my hair, I was very self-conscious of it. I probably acted differently, thus people treated me differently. Now that I've had it long for about five years, I'm much more comfortable with it. I just seems natural today. I don't notice anyone treating me differently. I do dress and act very conservatively, which probably helps. About the only non-conservative thing about me is my hair.
I'm sure women have a much different experience when they grow their hair long compared to men in general. There will always be more people reacting negatively to long hair on men as compared to long hair on women.
I think it makes a difference if you behave differently after having long hair. Then people would definitely treat you differently because they'd react differently to you as a person. My attitude changed a lot after having long hair, mostly in the confidence department, and felt a lot more feminine. So for example, people may not be treating me nicer than before but I might be more persuasive than before.
Over the past 2 years I've grown my hair from shoulder length to waist length and I haven't noticed a difference in the way people treat me, however I have noticed that I get a lot more compliments. When it's shorter often I will get compliments from friends or aquaintances but strangers never approached me. Now that it's long I'll be at a restaurant or the grocery store and strangers will just come up to me with compliments. It's very flattering but honestly not worth the trouble of long hair! Hence I'll be cutting it short again this weekend.
DaveDecker
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What troubles are you having with your long hair, Tally? We may
have a few ideas about what you can do to address your concerns that
don't involve hacking off a lot of length...
Like Sunsailing, as I started to grow it longer, I struggled with
issues of confidence with the decision to grow long. Anymore, I'd
say the way in which people treat me differently than the usual person
(imagining the short-haired doppelganger) are either that they: (1)
assume I'm a musician, (2) compliment me, or (3) target me for
charity-based haircut solicitations. Sometimes (3) is immediately
preceeded by (2). The most recent (really annoying!) instance on
a recent weekend at a restaurant with a lady friend, we were minding
our own business enjoying our dinner when up walked a woman and stood
there hovering over our table pressuring me to agree to cut my
hair! I tried to be polite but still... the nerve of some people!
Bob S
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Before a dog found our home, my wife would get stopped all the time along the street by guys asking if she needed a ride. (Nice folks, I guess, but they never asked me when *I* was alone!) She was basically ignored before she had long hair. Only family members hassle her about its length, esp. a couple of my daughters.
Well, I suppose it's too late, but I hope you changed your mind, Tally. Friends and family always will compliment a new 'do, as they think they must say something if it's an obvious change. But the true indicator, IMO, is what unprompted strangers will say. Oh well, if you view long locks as "trouble", you may as well not have them. All the best, Bob
gossipqueen
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Personally I do think that some people treat you differently
because you have long hair. From experience I have noticed that most men seem
to be more attracted to long hair, not all of course but I think most do. My
boyfriend loves my hair and he would probably be distressed if I talked about
cutting it. But a lot of guys notice you when you have longer hair…amoung the other
things they notice, I don’t know why though.
DaveDecker
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Personally I do think that some people treat you differently
because you have long hair. From experience I have noticed that most men seem
to be more attracted to long hair, not all of course but I think most do. My
boyfriend loves my hair and he would probably be distressed if I talked about
cutting it. But a lot of guys notice you when you have longer hair…amoung the other
things they notice, I don’t know why though.
Because it's aesthetically pleasing.
missrini
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I'll just add in my comments here...even though I don't have long hair (yet!). I know a lady who has VERY long hair (classic), but it is not in good condition (it's bleached and always looks fried to me). However, she always gets attention because of her hair. IMO it's because of the length of her hair (obviously not it's condition or anything else). So I guess ppl do treat her differently because of her hair.....can't decide whether that's a good or a bad thing though
I have to say though that total strangers stop me on a regular basis and compliment me on my hair colour. I usually start extolling the virtues of henna. I must have bored so many ppl!!! I really should get T-shirts printed........
25 inches as at 1st Nov 06
Sugaree
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missrini, your hair colour is nice. What do you think the effects of henna
would be on dark hair? Mine is a dark chocolate colour with some red in
it. What are the benefits of using henna over regular hair dye?
Here's a picture of my "after" henna next to my "before" henna. My hair is a dark brown. I think the most important thing is to do a strand test to avoid having weird chemical reactions between the old dye and the natural henna.
Anais..I didn't know you did a henna!!!! When? Good on ya
Sugaree, I HIGHLY recommend henna, not only as a hair dye but as a treatment for your scalp and hair. If you have dark hair, then you would not get alot of colour change (henna does not lighten), but you would get amazing firey red highlights in the sun.....red like you wouldn't believe!
As long as you use body art quality henna, you should not get any reactions to anything. The reason why henna has a bad rep is because alot of the commercially available hennas are mixed with other things and are not pure. The "other things" react badly with some previously chemically dyed hair. But, I would still recommend doing a hair-ball test, even with pure henna.
The benefits of henna are many! Includes:
Amazing colour that NEVER fades.
Reduces hair-loss
Provides a healthy alternative to chemicals.
You can do it yourself and vary the mix to suit you
stronger, thicker, shinier hair
I personally would never be able to grow long hair if I hadn't made the switch to henna.
So, Sugaree, make sure you use only pure BAQ henna. You can get more info from www.hennaforhair.com (I swear, I am not the owner of this site!!!! hehehe)
25 inches as at 1st Nov 06
Sugaree
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It's been really strange; I'll be 50 in January and just got my 3rd (not a very good track record, I admit) divorce and I have had more dates and some very persistent ones at that than I ever did when I was younger and single with short hair. I seem to be getting a lot more attention with my hair longer, but I agree with Anais, I feel better with longer hair and I'm not looking for a relationship, in fact, I am avoiding them for a while and I think attitude and self-confidence is as much a factor as length, but I am very attracted to long hair on guys so what do I know?
SF
But it is flattering to be my age and still get the nice feedback.
strawberryfine
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12/25.5"/terminal length after reaching "small of my back length"
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