Confused about my hair, Please help!!

I'll admit, I have no idea what I'm doing with my hair. My hair's been breaking off steadily and no matter what I try to it nothing seems to help. I know the water here (I'm away at college) is much harder than my hair is used to. I must be doing something completely wrong because when I was younger my hair was down to my shoulder blades. Now it's just at my chin. Here is my usual hair regimen.

I wash my hair twice a week because it really helps my scalp feel better.

Shampoo with:

Head & shoulders

Biolage Ultra-hydrating shampoo

Then condition with:

Biolage Ultra-hydrating conditioner

Silk Elements Mega cholesteroal conditioning treatment

After that I towel dry my hair and put Kera Care Essential oils onto my scalp and on my hair, but not too much. I try to let my hair air dry for the most part, maybe blow dry for a minute.

Then I spray with Mizani Therm-Elastic, let that dry a bit, and flat iron with a ceramic flat iron.

I don't moisturize daily, usually just brush a bit and I use the Therm-Elastic before I flat iron, which is usually every other day. And I sleep with my hair wrapped in a silk scarf (but that comes off a lot during the night).

I know this is a lot of information but I would be SO grateful if ANYONE could tell me what I'm doing wrong.

I also get Olive Oil relaxers done (by my mom) about every 2 months and usually get my ends trimmed professionally just afterwards. However, whenever I get my ends trimmed it seems like they cut off anything that's grown. I miss my long hair  and I can't seem to find a website that will help me out or a forum with my specific problem. Any help will be GREATLY appreciated. Thankyou so much in advance.

Honeydoo- Thankyou so much for replying! I was having a dramatic hair moment and lamenting my lost locks.

I have a hair lotion called BB Oil moisturizer. I never use it because I thought I was giving my hair enough moisture with the oils and the conditioning I do and I read that using moisturizers will clog up your hair and make it not grow. I never thought about my hair being sadly dry. It usually looks shiny and healthy, it just never grows! I will definitely look into the products you suggested.

I've also been searching like a madwoman for a satin pillowcase but apparently it's the hardest thing to find ever. But I will keep searching!

I also used to get relaxers done every 4 weeks because my hair is so thick and coarse, but it's been cutdown to ever 2 months because that's how often I can get home. I think I will try and stretch the one I have now for a while and see how my hair reacts. Thankyou so much for you help. I'm learning a lot reading other people's posts as well. Thankyou!

cmesweet - Thankyou for responding! I have been thinking about cutting out the Head and Shoulders completely because I don't like how it feels on my hair when I wash. I think I will just use the little bit I have left in the bottle and then not buy more.

I wear my hair down in a bob b/c it's so short and I keep the ends bumped for a little curl. I can't really wear updos because my hair is shorter around the edges and look stupid when I put it up. I wrap my hair every night, but something the ends will lose a little curl and I will use the flat iron just a little to bump it. I flat iron all of my hair after I wash it because otherwise I will look like nap-city! But I try not to have it on too hot and not to go over the strands too much. I will look into some of the other hair techniques. Thanks again!!!

Jen, don't freak about about lost length from your younger years.  Unless you're the same height that you were then, of course your hair seems shorter...because you're taller now!

I think honeydoo & cmsweet said it the best. I would not recomend using Head and shoulders at all, Motions lavish is a very conditioning shampoo or Queene Helene Placenta Conditioning shampoo is a protein shampoo so it will help stop the breakage and spilting ends. I have 4b hair that is very nappylicious so I can understand the need to use the flat iron after drying, what I would suggest is doing a roller wrap. After washing your hair set it on rollers and dry under a hooded dryer after it drys take out the rollers then wrap your hair and set back under the dryer for 15min. that will help straighten the ends you should not need to use the flat iron after this. I have been having breakage lately and I think it's because I have using oils but no moisturizer so I just bought Netrogena Triple Moisture Silk touch
Leave in and my hair feels wonderful. Good luck!