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This irrates me

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sakura07 View Drop Down
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    Posted: December 15 2005 at 6:35pm

Okay this is kind of a rant. Once again me and my mom are agruing about my natural hair.

She tells me it looks fine the way it is. But yet today she asks me if i can straighten it this weekend because we're taking pictures and she wants my hair to be neat. Then she goes on and tells me how she likes straight hair more than curls or anything else.

My hair can be neat, and it has been neat. I don't understand it. She says she fine with me being natural and then she tells me crap like that. I mean, I know im under 18, but its my hair.

Grr, that just ruined my night

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cookiesnkream View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cookiesnkream Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 15 2005 at 10:22pm



aaaw girl i can understand that,, dont let ur mom get
to you,, it is YOUR hair,, no matter what ur mom says
she isnt you,, you own ur hair since it is YOUR body,,
i hate when ppl tell me what to wear or how to fix my
hair(with the exception of boyfriends sometimes lol )
iknow thats terrible lol)) when they dont really have a
say becuz u get to make your own choices since u
have YOUR own mind lol and ur not 3,, if u can think
for urself then u can do ur hair as u wish and dress
as u wish within reason of course,,, thats just my
opinion
Hair type: 3b some c?, fine strands, last relaxer sept 05, never again!!! current :ap length on sides,,nearly bsl in back, damn those old frazzled ends! I am hair OBSESSED   
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Yolligirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Yolligirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2005 at 11:06am

Hey it's okay to rant.

One day your mom is going to realize what a strong young women she has raised.  It's not easy to stick to your convictions but your doing it. I know it's your mom and you want to be respective, but you are not her and you will have to let her know she likes straight hair and you like your hair just the way it is. I'm sure your hair is just beautiful, don't straighten it girl.

Life is a journey, Enjoy the ride.

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gossipqueen View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote gossipqueen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2005 at 1:19pm

Mothers will be mothers lol. It’s not up to your mom how you wear your hair anyway, if you like it then that is what matters, no one should be forced to wear a style that they aren’t happy with. Try not to let it get to you.

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sakura07 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sakura07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 16 2005 at 1:48pm

Originally posted by Yolligirl Yolligirl wrote:

Hey it's okay to rant.

One day your mom is going to realize what a strong young women she has raised.  It's not easy to stick to your convictions but your doing it. I know it's your mom and you want to be respective, but you are not her and you will have to let her know she likes straight hair and you like your hair just the way it is. I'm sure your hair is just beautiful, don't straighten it girl.

I wish should would realize sooner rather than later  ( If you wanna see pictures of my hair there are a couple in the link under my name.)

I'm really gonna try to not straighten it. Maybe I'll wash it and do a twist out for this weekend. I haven't used heat on my hair in like a month and i can tell the difference already.

Thank you guys so much for being my support group!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote princess8907 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 17 2005 at 2:15pm
Originally posted by sakura07 sakura07 wrote:

Okay this is kind of a rant. Once again me and my mom are agruing about my natural hair.

She tells me it looks fine the way it is. But yet today she asks me if i can straighten it this weekend because we're taking pictures and she wants my hair to be neat. Then she goes on and tells me how she likes straight hair more than curls or anything else.

My hair can be neat, and it has been neat. I don't understand it. She says she fine with me being natural and then she tells me crap like that. I mean, I know im under 18, but its my hair.

Grr, that just ruined my night

 

We might be the same age, so I can relate.  My mom always wants my hair to be straight and pretty so she looks good (she uses heat everyday).  Its your hair, so do with it what you feel if what you do keeps it healthy.  You might be under 18, but its your hair!

4b-natural,shoulder blade length,hair goal of to my bra strap


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sakura07 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sakura07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 18 2005 at 8:41am

Princess,

I'm 16 by the way. My mom is the exact same way. She's afriad that people will think she's not taking care of my hair because its natural ( but I do my own hair.) She uses her flat Iron Everyday almost religously. Its funny.

 

I didn't straighent my hair, but I did kind of appease her. I wet my hair in the morning and pulled it back in a ponytail and made a bunball bun thingie ( the one with the sock) then i tied it up. She was happy, so the whole world was happy.

 

It turns out her and my sisters suprised me and took me to see the Nutcracker Ballet.

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carameldiva View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote carameldiva Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 18 2005 at 10:08am
Aww- i'm glad it worked out in the end, Sakura and you did not have to straighten it. Take Care of yourself- Let us know how you enjoyed the show.
Me and you, your cousin and your momma too rollin on da strip on bow's
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princess8907 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote princess8907 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 18 2005 at 7:10pm
Originally posted by sakura07 sakura07 wrote:

Princess,

I'm 16 by the way. My mom is the exact same way. She's afriad that people will think she's not taking care of my hair because its natural ( but I do my own hair.) She uses her flat Iron Everyday almost religously. Its funny.

 

I didn't straighent my hair, but I did kind of appease her. I wet my hair in the morning and pulled it back in a ponytail and made a bunball bun thingie ( the one with the sock) then i tied it up. She was happy, so the whole world was happy.

 

It turns out her and my sisters suprised me and took me to see the Nutcracker Ballet.

 

yeah im 16 too in the 11th, and I so understand...this morning I was going to a recital after church and she kept going on about how should straighten my hair so shed look good.still , I didnt do it so, whatever...shes gonna have to deal with it

4b-natural,shoulder blade length,hair goal of to my bra strap


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sakura07 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sakura07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 19 2005 at 4:27pm

carameldiva, The ballet was wonderful. The dances were different from any other nutcracker I've seen.The orchastra was abousulty beauitful, they had a wonderful cello solo that I loved (But I'm baised because playing the cello is my next intrument conquest) IT was cute listening to the kids behind us arguing about which character was which.

 

princess, I'm glad you didnt give in. It might take your mom a long time to deal if ever. So you gotta be strong.

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Layla View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Layla Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 19 2005 at 5:36pm
sakura, what instruements do you play so far?
Type: 3c/4a Natural
Current Length: 6"
Goal: Healthy, tip of nose /neck/shoulder length hair.
BC: 02/08/06
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sakura07 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sakura07 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 19 2005 at 6:25pm

Well the ones I can play Flute, Piccilo,  desently.

 

I can stummble and slaughter anything on Piano, and Trumpet and Alto sax and Guitar( well I only know like 3 cords on guitar)



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SanGita View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SanGita Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 19 2005 at 9:26pm
I am so happy to hear that a 16 year old girl feels this way. Good for you! Your mom, like most of us actually, are victims of the conditioned cultural reflex that straight hair is good hair. So many things are sad about this. The first being that our hair ain't naturally straight and we have to resort to all sorts of methods to get it and keep it that way. Most of which are dangerous to the hair and scalp longterm. I straighten my hair, and wear my hair natural often to give myself a break from relaxers, etc. Learning to deal with my natural hair made me better at treating my relaxed hair better. It also keeps my hair in better condition, because after awhile, all that overlapping when you get relaxers breaks the hair down. Cutting it off, growing it back is like  a new lease on life. But remember, when your hair is natural, treat it just as good or even better than when relaxed. Deep condition your hair and experiment with some of these new gels that give texture. And find the right product that will give your natural tresses a nice healthy sheen. Check out Naturallycurly.com for product tips.

In the meantime, try to stand your ground and when you take the pictures, groom yourself to the nines. Your mom might come around.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote cmesweet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: December 21 2005 at 9:40pm
Good job for continueing to be YOU.  Parents can sometime send mixed messages...but you have to do what you feel is best. I love the nutcracker too.
Natural
BC May 9, 2004

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