WHY ?

Carol,
Of course it is wrong for a man to force a woman to get a certain hairstyle! I would never do that!

I agree with you that most people are harmless with their fetishes.

All people have fashion fetishes of one sort or another. If you don't have some type of fetish or strong preferences you aren't human. Fetishes are natural and contribute to human sexuality and human sensuality.

In my first marriage, my wife and I were gradually growing apart, and we were having intimacy less often. At that time she was wearing a drab plain shoulder length hairstyle, and wasn't really dolling herself up very often either.
But she knew I loved short hairstyles on women. I never forced it on her, or even told her to get a shorter hairstyle, but she knew by the comments I made about women, that I appreciated short hairdos on women.
One day I came home, and my wife had gone to the beauty salon and gotten her shoulder length hair cut off into an adorable short pixie hairstyle, and she was all dolled up in a sexy short dress, with makeup and long dangle earrings on, and did she ever look good! Believe me, we had our fun that evening!
It was just what our marriage needed to spice it up.
Within a year, our first child was born, my oldest daughter who is these days in her teen years.

It is good for couples to know what pleases each other, what preferences or fetishes that they have.
I can assure you, it works, it worked brilliantly for us.
We ended up having three kids.
We eventually got divorced, but it had nothing to do with hairstyles, we just grew apart and went our own ways.
I still see my ex-wife though on the weekends when I see my kids. We have a congenial relationship.

In most societies, fetishes are accepted, and are part of human sensuality and human sexuality.
It is mostly in the traditional American-Anglo-Saxon culture, that fetishes are frowned upon and considered "abnormal". This comes out of the American-Anglo-Saxon, Puritan, Victorian tradition of being uptight about sexuality, and sexual expression.
Just as for years in Anglo culture, sex was supposed to be limited to the missionary position between married couples.
And fetishes were associated with other cultures that Anglos felt superior to, or that Anglos thought were "less civilized" or "less moral", like the Latins, French, Africans, etc..
This attitude toward fetishes unfortunately still prevails in some reactionary, Victorian sections of the American public.
Which might also explain why America has a higher rate of people going to psychiatrists than most other societies, and also has a disproprtionate percentage of Christians who turn to radical, fundamentalist, Victorian sects of Christianity than most other Christian countries.
Americans, as a reaction to this sexual uptightness, also visit porn sites more often than people in most other countries. There is more porn produced in American than any other country, by far.
Only when Americans get past this oppressive, Victorian age, sexual mores, will they really be as healthy as they should sexually.
There is progress however. I believe Americans are gradually breaking down Puritan, Victorian era, sexual oppression and that many American couples are becoming sexually healthier in their marriages and relationships.

Probably the only place more uptight about human sexuality, human "fetishes", etc. than the United States is, is the Muslim World, which is incredibly oppressive in regards to sexuality and sexual expression, at least amongst Muslim fundamentalists, who are the same folks who oppress women, and sometimes gravitate into religious and political fanaticism.
Women in particular, (both in traditional Anglo-Saxon, Victorian era tradition, and certainly amongst the fanatical, misognistic, Muslim fundamentalists), are supposed to be almost non-sexual creatures, which is very strange for adults, male or female.




Edited by SanFranBrent - July 11 2006 at 9:22pm

What case Hal? You never had a case!

At any rate, I am glad you appreciate my wisdom.

Now if I could only get everyone to agree with me, how much better the world would be, I am sure of that!

Points well taken by both of you folks.

Myself, I don't have a hair cutting fetish.

And I could care less about tattoos on women one way or the other. I just mentioned tattoos as an example of something that wasn't often acceptable on women years ago, but now it is more acceptable.

I just like short hairstyles on women. There are many types of short hairstyles I like on beautiful women.

It seems to me that some of the people that post here on this board might have a hair cutting fetish, but that doesn't bother me. You expect that on a short hair board, just as many people have a long hair fetish on long hair boards.
As long as they are not obnoxious or rude to people about it, who cares?
It seems to me that most of the people who post on these boards are fairly respectful to others and generally helpful and complimentary.

Some people are better than others at giving hairstyle advice.
Not everyone says on this board, all of the time, to do things like buzz the nape, or get a short angled bob cut, or shave your head, or get it cut even shorter than you have it if it is already very short hair.
There are a variety of responses, (although generally people here on this board do encourage women to try short hairstyles, which is to be expected, since both the men and the women here on these boards are mostly short hair lovers on women).
If anyone believes this board is like a fetish board, then you have never been on a fetish board. I assure you, it is very different than this type of board.

I do sometimes encourage a woman to cut her hair short if she asks about that.
I usually compliment a woman if she posts a photo of herself in  her new short hairstyle if I like the hairstyle.
I usually leave it at that, unless she asks if she could go shorter with her hairstyle, and then, if I believe she could, which I often do, I tell her that.


Edited by SanFranBrent - July 11 2006 at 1:57am

Hal, those are hairstyles, amongst other hairstyles. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with a fetish.
And who is to say it is wrong to like those hairstyles?, (as obviously many of the men and women on these boards do).
For that matter, is it wrong to have fashion fetishes or preferences?,( as all people do).
We are getting into the philisophical with statements like that. Into subjective areas.

As I stated before in one of my posts, one person's definition of a fetish is another person's defintion of an acceptable hairstyle. What one person considers weird, another person considers pleasurable and a nice fashion style.
To me a weird fetish hairstyle is short, blue colored, spiky hair. That would be a weird, fetish hairstyle to me, I wouldn't want my lady or my daughter wearing it.
However an ultra-short pixie on a woman is perfectly acceptable to me, whether anyone believes it a fetish or not. But that is just my definition of what is and isn't acceptable. Others many disagree with me.

There is no way to objectively determine what hairstyle consitutes a "fetish hairstyle" and what hairstyle is "mainstream" enough not to be considered a "fetish" hairstyle. It is completely subjective.
Just as beauty is subjective and a personal preference.
Ted Danson once said that Whoppi Goldberg was a very beautiful woman. And I have read on the internet one person who said that Halle Berry wasn't that beautiful.
I would prefer to get it on with Halle Berry when she is wearing an ultra-short pixie, than get it on with Whoppi Goldberg with her long hair. Does that mean that I have a fetish for women in short pixie hairstyles?
So your definition of a fetish style might be different than mine is.

Realistically no one can deternine what is or isn't a "fetish". What is a "fetish" for one person might be acceptable for another.

The whole concept of "fetish" vs. "mainstream" is bogus anyway. How would you even define it? People would have different definitions on what consitutes a fetish and what constitutes mainstream.

And fashion is always changing. What was a fetish ten years ago might be mainstream today.
Years ago short spiky hair on women was considered a fetish. Now it isn't. Years ago tattoos, a pierced nostril, in some places even pierced ears, were considered forms of a fashion fetish on women. They aren't today. There are so many women these days who have tattoos, have pierced ears, or even a pierced nostril, that it has gone from being a so-called "fetish" fashions to so-called "mainstream", or at least fairly common fashion styles.

An ultra-short pixie like Halle Berry, Alyssa Milano, Charlize Theron, Natalie Portman, or Toni Braxton have worn, might be considered a "fetish hairstyle" by you, but it would be a completely acceptable hairstyle to others. It is certainly acceptable on women to me. I love those hairstyles on women, and have been with women who had hairstyles that short or even shorter than that, and I loved it on them.

It would be an amazingly boring and oppressive world if we were only allowed certain hairstyles. That is how the Communists and the Islamic Fascists do it. They only allow certain hairstyles or fashions that they consider acceptable.

But as I stated, it is subjective anyway. One person's fetish hairstyle is another person's acceptable hairstyle.
We don't need the "hairstyle police" telling us whether a hairstyle is a "fetish" or not, or how to percieve or wear hairstyles.
We are in America, a free country, not in an oppressive totalitarian state like Iran or North Korea. Each of us should be allowed to determine for ourselves how we want to wear our hair and what we consider acceptable hairstyles.

 
Now having said all of that, do I believe there is such a thing as fetishes, or fetish hairstyles? Yes I do believe that, but what is a fetish hairstyle for me, might not be for you, and visa versa. Every person doesn't agree on what exactly constitutes a fetish hairstyle or fetish fashions.
They should always agree with me on fashion, but sometimes they actually don't, which means they are probably wrong, doesn't it?



Edited by SanFranBrent - July 10 2006 at 9:03pm

Anne,
This is the short hairstyle board. Just about everyone that writes on these boards, men and women alike, like many different short hairstyles on women; from shaved heads, to short crops, to short pixies, to chin length bobs, etc..

A short hairstyle on many women, not all women, IS the best hairstyle for many of them! Many times I have seen a woman with a plain, drab shoulder length or even longer hairstyle, go to a short bob hairstyle or short pixie hairstyle and look much better. More beautiful, fashionable, and feminine.

As far as buzzing or shaving their heads, the bald look is just one short style on a woman. There is various short hairstyles on women that can look good on ladies, from short bob styles, to short pixies, etc..


Edited by SanFranBrent - July 09 2006 at 11:31pm

I can spot a couple of things that could be construed (or misconstrued) that way.
What might be a problem to some people might not be to others though. So who cares?

how one word caused all this. I do appreciate the remarks. As for a barber/stylist its known as school, school school>>>>>>>>>. Let me just say this I have no fettish off cutting and or buzzing I just do my job and do it well. Do whats asked of you and bring a smile by making the inner self feel good. Is that what life is all about? We are here to learn not judge. I do feel Dave  & Karen are doing a great job. Lets keep thsi a short hair forum for athers to learn from give advice when asked and keep up the great work.Kuroneko. Thanks for your answer bery well put

Edited by mikecuts - July 09 2006 at 9:01am

I just hate the way people are so quick to pounce on any short hair fans as freaks with weird fetishes, who need professional help, but not very often are such charges levelled against the long-hair fans of the boards -_- .  It's very much a double standard, I think.

Amen Skydancer