QuoteReplyTopic: Three Generations of Hopeless Hair Romantics... Posted: January 22 2007 at 4:27pm
Last Sunday I met a lovely lady, age 47 it turned out, who had a stellar rope braid down her back, reaching her hips. Naturally, (lol), I told her how much I loved seeing it. She thanked me, but replied that she had a hair appointment in two weeks to get it cut to her shoulders. *Locks of Love* was going to be its beneficiary. I seized the opportunity to explain that Locks of Love is a scam, or at least somewhat dubious. If she was tired of her hair, it doesn't matter where the hair goes, I conceded, but if she was someone who loved her hair, it almost certainly would not benefit a child, so she might consider keeping it.
"There is *no way* I am cutting it after what you just told me", she exclaimed. "My teenage son has been begging me for weeks not to donate it, anyway. Wait 'til he hears this!"
She asked me how I learned such information. I explained that I'm simply someone who has always thought that long hair was the most beautiful asset a woman could have, and that I and other like-minded folks have researched this popular charity on the internet.
She looked me in the eyes and reminisced, "You know, my father was just like you. I had never cut my hair at all until I was 12 years old. Then, without notice, my mom took me and had my below knee length hair cut above my shoulders. I came home and my father said nothing. He walked out the back door and stood facing away from our house for quite some time. I asked my mom why daddy was standing in the back yard. 'He's crying!'" she replied. My new acquaintance admitted that she felt horrible that she had broken her father's heart. Esp. since she'd never seen him cry before.
Thankfully, I never allowed any of my girls to grow really long hair when they were young. Too many of them! But, there is indeed something in her little vignette to which I can relate. My love for beautiful hair is a passion which is eternal. It *is* heartening to hear about others who share my appreciation. We span the generations, I guess! Blessings, Bob
Edited by Bob S - January 22 2007 at 4:32pm
Kitty Kat
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Okay Bob, that brings up another point I wanted to ask opinions about. Do you think there's an age that a woman should not have long hair? I've had super short to mid-back length throughout the years and last year at age 44 I decided to grow it out again at least to BSL (almost there!). Of course, that nagging thought that "women over 40 shouldn't have long hair" creeps into my thoughts now and then but I've managed to stay strong and do what I want instead of what society dictates. I've always loved to wear my hair in many different styles and think I'd fast become bored with a short hairdo.
Although I have very little gray yet, I'd also be interested in hearing if you all think long gray hair is still pretty?
Bob, what a lovely story! I have a feeling my dad would have responded the same way hers did....
Kitty Kat, DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE NAGGING THOUGHTS!!! It's only the pressures of society that leads women to believe that. There is nothing wrong with a woman over any certain age having long hair! And in my opinion, women with long gray hair look very sophisticated.
Long grey hair has always been something highly regarded in my own culture... It always showed the women to be strong, patient and wise. I've decided to keep believing that, NO MATTER WHAT.
Sometimes it surprises me how much of what we can believe is by choice.
Some of the new ideas of modernity, what it means to be civilized, etc. especially during the peak times for immigration in American history... post civil war, industrial... had many people casting off their old aesthetics in order to be more "American" or more "modern". This happens continuously.
Not that that's wrong, but many of the old aesthetics have been lost and that's a real shame.
The long grey hair used to belong to our/my ancestors' nobility, the imperial court, and the otherwise highly regarded members of society.
I was brought up around depictions of women in silk dresses with long hair, yet there was this strange disconnect of having my mother and my grandmother with short hair (especially as the post-WW2 era brought a lot of western influence) and that disconnect was never something I really questioned.
Will long hair ever be in style again soon? I doubt it.
Thankfully, I never allowed any of my girls to grow really long hair when they were young. Too many of them!
Gee Bob, you're the last person I would guess would prevent his daughters from growing their hair as long as they might like.
Otherwise, great save! And thanks for sharing your (and your acquaintance's) stories.
Kitty Kat wrote:
Do you think there's an age that a woman should not have long hair?
No, but I do believe there is an age at which a woman shouldn't listen to other's naysaying about long hair. And that age is when she is capable of caring for her own hair (and does!), which I might guess and assume to be somewhere around 10-12 years old.
In public, I've seen a number of women with long silvery hair and thought it was both beautiful and flattering to their appearance.
Thank you too, AnaisSatin, for sharing your most interesting insights. I agree that cultural assimilation here in the past used to be very strong. To some extent, that's a "good" thing, but there's no logical reason it needed to extend to abandonment of culturally-appreciated hair lengths and styles. I suppose it was just part of "fitting in," but these days, since anything goes... there is little reason anymore to cut for the sake of adherence.
I agree with everyone else KittyKat. I think that 'women should
never have long hair after 40' thing must have come out during one of
those decades when long hair was seriously out of style (my mom went to
high school in the 50s, and she kind of got stuck with the idea that
short hair was the only good thing you could have). People who
state bold rules like that about what a woman of a certain age can and
can't do seem to have some pretty restrictive ideas. They
probably also believe you can't wear white shoes until after Easter-
and other such random outdated stuff nobody notices. Tell them
to get with the times! Maybe they like telling others what to
do? Maybe they work for salons? I don't know. More
people seem to do what they want these days and that freedom is
nice. Short hair annoys me because I can't get it off my neck
totally, and takes a lot more work in the morning to fiddle with and
style to get it to look decent. I'll be 40 in 8 years, and I'm
going to have an elegant graying updo.
Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com
Bob S
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I expected your puzzlement, Dave, but with four daughters, and a wife (yes my long-haired Sue!) who never liked fussing with hair, all the hair chores were left to me (save Sue's own hair). So, I pretty much let the girls decide for themselves. Plus, anyway, I always subscribed to the theory that if Dad *forced* long hair upon them, they might come to hate the idea of having it as adults. Thus, their hair length usually ranged from bobs to shoulder blade length. (There were a few "horrors", bubble gum and self-chops which left 3 of them pixied at different times.)
And Kitty Kat, my wife is older than you by a few years! With *very* few exceptions, women past 35 look stunningly younger and lovelier with long hair. Frankly, at work, all those women over 50 who turn my head and drop my jaw are those who have long, flowing hair movement. (Including those with silver hair!)
But, to get to your main concern, KK, yes, there will be naysayers, nearly all women who have bought into the shopworn concept that short coifs hide age. At most, and this does not include my own wife, some women successfully employ slight front fringe. But as for the back length, long, swingy hair is just plain hot. I've had so many guys express to me bewilderment as to why women think they must go short at a certain age.
If I may tell tales out of school here, there is simply no way that Sue would have ever grown her magnificent hair past BS w/o my encouragement, b/c every step of the way, family members scoffed at her. Now, I don't know if they've grown weary of complaining, but occasionally now one of them will actually praise her hair's condition. Yes, those same naysayers!
To sum it up, KK, it only takes one moment of discouragement to undo years of resolve. Yes, criticism always hurts somewhat, but that's what long hair boards exist for. Oh, and I'll bet all your guy friends will confirm what I'm saying if you ever feel disspirited. Believe me, your own eyes are not lying. Your hair is gorgeous! Blessings, Bob
Edited by Bob S - January 23 2007 at 2:29pm
Alisa06
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My mom is one who thinks you should not have long hair after a certain age. She has not specified a particular age, just makes comments like ,
" you should where it long while you are still young." I personally think that older ladies with long hair are very stunning and beautiful.
My husband is one who wants his daughter to have long hair.(She is 6) He used to get upset with me when I would cut her hair. I want her to have long hair also, but up untill recently it has been so thin,and scraggly looking.I explained to him that I thought it would look better short than horribly thin. I kept it in an almost bob style. I have let it grow latley and it is now to her shoulder blades, and getting pretty think.
She wants to have hair to her knees and I am going to absolutly encourage her. I will be an old lady with silver hair past my tailbone some day, and I am going to be proud of my hair, as anyone who really loves their should be.
Sorry for the long post, I guess I got carried away.
Alisa06
2c-3a ciii
I want my hair back!!!
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Loved everyone's opinions. I guess it's kind of what I expected since this IS the long hair forum!!! But it's nice to hear it.
Bob - My husband has always encouraged me to have long hair but in years past when I wasn't so into growing it long, it kind of made me mad. I felt like he didn't care if it looked like crap, he just wanted it long AND, he didn't have to wash it and care for it! When you said that about family members occasionally praise your wife's hair, it reminded me of different times when I had long hair and no one ever complimented me on it but when I got it chopped how many times did I hear "But you had such pretty hair"!!!!! The nice thing about getting older is, now I don't care if I get compliments. I only care that I like it! (Of course, that being said, today is a bad hair day and if I wasn't so intent on growing it this time, I'd be running out to the mall tonight for a cut!!)
Susan - Every time I think how nice it would be to hop in the shower with a short do, I think how long it would take to style. I'd be trading convenient washes for time consuming styling. Now, it takes a little longer to wash but, heck, I can put it in a braid, bun, jaw clip, etc., and it only takes five minutes. And I find myself thinking, if we lose our electric, I don't have to panic...just put my hair up!
Dave - Like I said above, what I DO like about getting older is I don't listen to other people's naysaying. I have to say, the older I get, the better I feel...physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Anais - I especially liked your posting with all of your cultural insights. I've told Dave several times that he has been one of my inspirations. You, for sure, have been another. I only recently started posting but I've been reading this forum for over a year. Your hair is absolutely beautiful and I've admired it for a long time.
Hairbraider - Oh my goodness...I couldn't really tell what your hair looked like in your picture so I went to your hair space. It's stunningly beautiful! I'll have to add you to my list of inspirations as well! My hair is a lot like yours only shorter, maybe a tiny bit less curl/wave. My pony tail is pretty "poufy" as well! I like the picture with the cat in it. I'm a cat lover...hence the name Kitty Kat. Although, actually I adore all animals but we only have cats. As I said above, today was a bad hair day but after looking at your pictures, I'm excited again. I never could have gotten this far without this forum.
Alright Susan - I had to go back out and check out your little hair journey after looking at Hairbraider's. What a little journey your hair did take, huh?! It looks beautiful and healthy now. Are you glad you cut it and started over? It probably felt like it took a long time to grow out but I'm amazed how fast it grew! Beautiful!
Hairbraider - Oh my goodness...I couldn't really tell what your hair looked like in your picture so I went to your hair space. It's stunningly beautiful! I'll have to add you to my list of inspirations as well! My hair is a lot like yours only shorter, maybe a tiny bit less curl/wave. My pony tail is pretty "poufy" as well! I like the picture with the cat in it. I'm a cat lover...hence the name Kitty Kat. Although, actually I adore all animals but we only have cats. As I said above, today was a bad hair day but after looking at your pictures, I'm excited again. I never could have gotten this far without this forum.
Thank you so much for the kind compliments! It's cool to be someone's inspiration. I'm glad you liked the pictures. We live in the country so we have about 15 cats hanging around. It's almost impossible to take a pic outside without a cat showing up in it. lol
Bob S wrote:
I expected your puzzlement, Dave, but with four daughters, and a wife (yes my long-haired Sue!) who never liked fussing with hair, all the hair chores were left to me (save Sue's own hair). So, I pretty much let the girls decide for themselves. Plus, anyway, I always subscribed to the theory that if Dad *forced* long hair upon them, they might come to hate the idea of having it as adults. Thus, their hair length usually ranged from bobs to shoulder blade length.
Bob, I can understand your perspective. And that spared you the grief of seeing them chop it all off when they got old enough to decide for themselves.
I completely agree Kitty Kat, I had a heck of a time with my short
hair, either it wouldn't poof enough to look right, or I woke up with
it sticking out poofy in goofy directions and couldn't make it lay
down! It seemed like I was fighting against it no matter what it
did!
Thanks so much for complimenting my hair. I'm not really glad I
cut it, I hated it for at least 2 years until I felt like I started
looking "like myself" again. I didn't want to be in any photos,
and I looked terrible in all of the ones I was in. Bobs are cute
on plenty of women, but I found out I wasn't one of those, and it would
be so much longer now if I hadn't had to cut off a foot of it (probably
classic length!). But, its getting there, and I've liked it for
about 6 months now, so I'm finally happy with it. Like you, no
one complimented my hair before the cut, but all sorts of people I
never knew even cared demanded I tell them why I cut it off! I
too no longer mind if no one compliments it, I will do what I like with
it and be happy about it!
Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com
Anais - I especially liked your posting with all of your cultural insights. I've told Dave several times that he has been one of my inspirations. You, for sure, have been another. I only recently started posting but I've been reading this forum for over a year. Your hair is absolutely beautiful and I've admired it for a long time.
Thank you Kitty Kat. That really made my day I hope you continue to visit us on HB - we have such an amazing community of people here and I find it inspiring to see so much support and kindness in one place.
Hey Alisa! Looks like we were posting about the same time last night which is why I didn't address your post! I'm with ya - I'm gonna have silver hair past my tailbone someday too!!
I just love this board. Like Anais said, it's an amazing community. So many people I encounter during the day are full of negativity and cynicism. It's really refreshing to come here and get support and encouragement.
Someday when we get with the electronic times and get a digital camera, I'll post a picture of my hair.
Bob S
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Oiks! I have a mea culpa, Kitty Kat!! There is another member here, Special Kitty, and I was thinking of her when I referred to the appearance of your hair. I've never seen yours, of course. Sorry for the brain hiccup! (lol)
A few other comments, though, KK: Your DH, if he is anything like me, would not hope to see you with long hair again if he didn't think it would look wonderful on you. *Absolutely*, I would not want Sue to wear long hair if she was one of those rare women on whom long locks detracted from her appearance.
I am sorry that your husband's requests for growth once annoyed you, or perhaps made you feel that you didn't look good enough, in his eyes. Unfortunately, the passion that some men have for flowing locks is just one of many aggravating quirks that *some* men have. Not me, of course! (lol) Really, hair length has nothing to do with any woman's worth. We know this, but we can't help dreaming! God Bless, Bob
My mum kept my hair in a bob until i was 9 .. apparently to thicken it up or something along those lines and partly because i used to chew it! lol. But ever since she let me start growing it i have looked after it with so much care or i knew she would make me get it cut off straight away. Obviously she doesn't have quite so much power of it now but i do look after it soo much .. well as much as i can, however much i do though it doesn't seem to be that great but thats where i dyed it for a couple of years... but by summer it should all have grown out!!! YAY!!! *dances* I cant wait to have all my natural colour again.. espec as in the summer the sun high lights it... does anyone know why that happens?
Have a great weekend everyone!
Callie
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Too funny Bob! I figured you were just imagining that I had gorgeous hair and making me think positive!!! I've seen Special Kitty's postings. All is forgiven!!! You made me laugh!
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I would love to answer that for you! Basically the sun is the devil.. lol.
The molecules that make up hair color are damaged easily. The sunlight breaks up or "bleaches" your color pigment and thus makes your hair lighter. BEWARE the sun will absolutly KILL your hair. When you get those pretty streaks from the sun you also break down the keratin---protein in your hair.. Hope I didn't go on about that tooo much.. I LOVE hair! :)
~ Robert
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Blessings, Bob
my LJ
Bob S wrote:
And thanks for sharing your (and your acquaintance's) stories.
I expected your puzzlement, Dave, but with four daughters, and a wife (yes my long-haired Sue!) who never liked fussing with hair, all the hair chores were left to me (save Sue's own hair). So, I pretty much let the girls decide for themselves. Plus, anyway, I always subscribed to the theory that if Dad *forced* long hair upon them, they might come to hate the idea of having it as adults. Thus, their hair length usually ranged from bobs to shoulder blade length. (There were a few "horrors", bubble gum and self-chops which left 3 of them pixied at different times.)
I'm glad you liked the pictures. We live in the country so we have about 15 cats hanging around. It's almost impossible to take a pic outside without a cat showing up in it. lol
I hope you continue to visit us on HB - we have such an amazing community of people here and I find it inspiring to see so much support and kindness in one place.
Oiks! I have a mea culpa, Kitty Kat!! There is another member here, Special Kitty, and I was thinking of her when I referred to the appearance of your hair. I've never seen yours, of course. Sorry for the brain hiccup! (lol)
