I made a BIG mistake!

Hello ladies,

 I'd like to re-introduce myself and tell you my sad story... maybe you can help me figure out what to do next...

I have relaxed 4a/b? hair and I joined this board in Dec 05, determined to have longer hair.  I tried different methods and didn't really feel like I was seeing a difference.  Then came the fateful day 1 year ago when I decided to go to an acquaintence of mine who did/does japanese straightening.  She swore to me my hair would be healthier and longer.  Now my hair is in the worst condition I have ever seen it!

I am now changing to a different stylist and am basically starting over from scratch.  I have so much breakage and shedding that my hair is actually shorter than last year, and to make things worse, next week when I go for my first touchup with my new stylist, she will probably have to give me a B.C. to get rid of all the damage.

I followed everything my friend told me to do, buying  all the expensive salon products she suggested, and made no progress.  I have to start all over again.

If there is anyone else out there that may have had a similar setback, I would really appreciate some words of encouragement.

Look at my fokti for the ugly truth...

I'm back for good, ladies!

hey tia...sorry to hear about this situation..there have been quite a few african american women with 4b/c hair that have done the same thing you've done..you're not alone..i'm sorry she "swore to you" that this would not happen..

you are definitely on top of your game..especially with the heat protectants, conditioners and leave-in's...

i like  Humectress,it's a great moisturizing conditioner, plus, it makes a great "leave-in" as well..if i'm not mistaken, i think Cathy Howse recommends it on her website as well...

This really makes me mad when I read it. What the heck is wrong with these stylist these days? I got a horrible haircut about 2 months ago. From a long bob to a choppy something. I don't know what it is. But it's no longer one length. I used to enjoy washing and doing my hair. Now I just hate it. I usually wear roller wraps so I don't have to look at how jagged and uneven the layers are. This also keeps it healthy. I don't have to worry about a stylist burning out my hair with flat irons or damaging my hair. How bad can it go with a roller wrap with a deep conditioner? Exactly. This allows me to keep my length without worrying if the stylist is going to jack my shid up! It will grow back. Just do healthy styles in the meantime.

femmemuscle wrote: you tell 'em digital..  if i were your beautician, i'd play it safe, and keep some serious distance!   i did some research on Japanese Straigtening..you know what it is?  the re-invention of the Jheri curl..there were a few websites with pics of AA women who had Japanese straightening done to their hair..   A few of the pics have been removed on one of the websites..probably at the models request?  They are finding out that the tighter the curl pattern, the more chance there is of damage and breakage...thus anyone with 1 - 3 curl pattern have less chance of breakage, versus anyone above that grade of hair..   it's like a two step process of the "Jheri curl" perm chemicals, then straightening afterwards...the first part of the process is enough to cause problems to begin with..   that beautician would be wise to chose a grocery store far away from your neighborhood..you sound dangerous with those roller wraps!   Hey digital, have you ever heard of mixing an egg with your deep conditioner?  some folks swear that it strengthens the hair, and helps it grow..   also, have you checked out the "hair growth" and "hair breakage" forums at "blackhairmedia.com"?  i think you'll like it..lots of stories similar to yours, and many success stories to boot!

Hey there!

I did the egg thingie. Maybe I didn't do it right. After I washed the egg and conditioner out of my hair, my hair wasn't soft at all. It was hard and gross! haha! It was funny. I also tried the olive oil deep conditioner deal. That didn't work either.  After rinsing it out then styling, my hair was very heavy and didn't want to do anything at all. But everyone's hair is different. I don't doubt that this worked for some people. The egg conditioner just didn't work for me. A stylist once told me that there are so many hair care products out there, that it isn't worth trying foods and things on your hair. But if it works It works right?

I will try out those forums. I already know that I need my ends trimmed. That's why I have a little breakage right now. I was tempted to buy a pair of sheers at the Beauty supply store this past weekend.

I'd rather my ends split all the way up my hair shaft than to visit a stylist and let them trim my ends!

I tell what I think HAS worked: This Hair Formula 37 regimen. I'm not due for a relaxer until the 25 of this month. It's the 9th and I think I already need a touch-up! I get a touch-up every 6 weeks.

Ciao!

tiajanice wrote: Well, I'm back! Let's just say I needed a glass of wine to get through this visit to the salon (no joke, I really had to have a glass of wine when she started cutting!) My hair actually doesn't look bad from the front.  It is about 8in long so I have a chin-length bob.  However the back is a different story...My hair completely broke off down to my new growth.  It is about 1 in long from the tops of my ears to the nape of my neck!  The longer hair covers the shorter part, so you can't really see it unless I lift it up..I can forget about wearing any ponytails  or updos for a while, though. I still have that fresh from the salon "good" hair, but when I wash it, I have no idea what I am going to do with 1in long hair! I updated my fokti...take a look.

Sounds like my hair when I FIRST got my... I mean the 2nd time I got my bob. I got my first bob by my stylist in Birmingham, AL. This cut was fabulous! I got so many compliments. Then, when I went home to Atlanta, GA my stylist there convinced me that Bob cut was completely wrong and he wanted to "touch it up". What a freakin' mistake! Have you ever went from getting a lot of complements on your hair to people constantly asking you What happened to your head? Ok I had a point here.

Oh yeah, when my hair was as short as yours, I bought a pair of CHI irons. My hair is very thick, so I had to make sure the back part would lay down so I didn't look like Barbara Bush! These irons helped me maintain the sleek look of my bob, when I couldn't get to the stylist.

Just buy a pair of those 1 or 2 inch flat irons. After washing and deep conditioning your hair at home, apply a little bit of heat protectatant cream or serum, then go through flat ironing your hair in 1 inch sections. If you grab big sections your hair will not be straight. Since you already have breakage, make sure you put something on your hair before putting heat on it. If you don't it will be like putting an iron on a dead leaf.

Another option would be to see your stylist more often. This way she can manage your hair for you until it gets to a length that works better for you at home. She can apply treatments to the broken portions to get it healthy again.

Also, when you were making ponytails before, what were they like? Ponytails can cause a lot of breakage. When making a pony try to make it kind of high on your head so that you don't include that shorter hair in the back. Try and slick that shorter part up with Jam or some type of non-alcohol product. And make sure to use cloth scrunchies so that they don't break off your hair.

You'll be fine! We'll help you get on track. Can you post of photo of what it looks like right now?
Okay, I just saw the photo in your album. When styling your hair at home, I would not even put any heat on that part of your hair. It's completely hidden by the top portion of your hair.

After washing your hair apply a leave in conditioner to the broken portion. Then put one of those stretchy disposable wrap cloths around your hair. Then let it dry this way. That will ensure that it stays flat.

How do you feel about roller wraps?


Edited by digitaldiva - July 09 2007 at 8:59am

femmemuscle wrote: your stylist really did a very good job with your hair!  she even made the short part look very "chic"..i like the style! i don't think you will have to worry about the short part if the long hair is covering it..looks as if she styled it that way, so you wouldn't have to do anything with it, but keep it flat.. i know what you mean about the "fresh from the salon" look..i'm beginning to learn a lot about my own head..to the point, i think i'll be better off without my stylist unless i have to do a touch up.. she does a lot of heat, plus, i've just learned about the curse of the "frizz"..the last time she had me under the dryer, i had a bit of frizz..this was after a roller set..she didn't say a word about it.. the next day, my "pin up curly style" looked like a shag rug...even though i had curled my hair the night before, you couldn't distinguish the frizz from the curls..i was at my wits end with using so many products..   then somone on the black hair media forum told me about baggying my head at night..i took that advice, and feel much better about styling my hair...   my hair is texturized..so, i have so much to learn about it...   diva? what are roller wraps? daaayyum, tia..sounds like we have a real pro over here!! you go digital diva!   i think i'll stick around here when i get my hair fully relaxed! tia, you are too funny about the wine..

I'll be a pro when I have 20 inches of hair on my head with no split ends! lol... Roller Wrap! You know! The stylist rolls your hair with medium sized rollers (I do grey and black). Then after it's dry she brushes it until its wraped around your head. Then you go back under the dryer for about 5 minutes to make your roots straight. Theeen, she comes it down.

What's this baggie process you're talking about, Femme?

i'm going for 20" myself, diva, it seems a long way away, but many women have gone there, and so can we!!!

femmemuscle wrote: I'm too, suck when it comes to roller sets...taking on a roller wrap would put me over the edge...i tried it once..and was so frustrated!  the rollers were slippery, my hands were slippery, and Walmart sold the roller set with very small "1/2 duck bill hair pins" in the package..my arms felt like they would fall off...and right when i thought i had the roller  pinned in place..it would slowly unravel, slide out of the hair, hit me in the shoulder, then, hit the floor..

Hey Femme, I have two suggestions that might make rollersets easier..

1. Try the snap on magnetic rollers.. These things are the BOMB.. I can't get duck bill pins to work either, but with these babies, I can roller set and the rollers stay put til I take 'em out.. Sally's or most of the larger BSS's and drugstores carry these.. http://www.sallybeauty.com/shop/2210/292644

2. If you can work with end papers try using perm rods for wetsetting.. My stylist uses the large perm rods when I get a wetset at the salon.. These puppies stay put too..

Edited by Divavocals - July 11 2007 at 1:52am