New: My Hairstory. Suggestions?

Oh boy am I glad to have found this site! As I set off on my 2nd long hair journey, any tips or suggestions would be welcome! BTW: Great job on keeping the site loving and positive.

Some background: I'm 40 yrs old, female, and my username comes from my obsession with long distance inline speed skating. I have 2 kids so spend a lot of time outside in the sun at ball games. I had long (somewhere between bra strap and waist) hair with bangs/fringe when I was 20, which was in fantastic condition, but for some odd reason I thought it was a great idea to get it all permed. The 80s! Arrgh. I let it grow out again by about age 25 but got it all cut off again after my son was born because he loved touching it, even at 3 months old (must be a guy thing!), and he'd get all tangled up. I spent my 30s with it shoulder length and highlighted. It was in great condition and my hairdresser is a Swedish miracle worker in that respect (she knew what to do with my thin, dead-straight, fine hair). I got compliments almost every day about the color of my hair.

Well that's all over now! Luckily I have a significant other - well ok, boyfriend (since it's ok to have long hair at 40, I guess it's ok to say 'my boyfriend' too!), who absolutely adores long hair, and comments every time we see a woman older than 20 who has short hair. He'll say "Oh she gave all her hair away!". So I know I have his support in growing my hair out. But I have noticed nobody has said anything about my hair being long since I quit getting it cut about 6 months ago. One guy I know insists on telling me when my hair looks 'better' (usually right after I have had it trimmed and rehighlighted). I'm so glad to read other people having similar experiences, especially how nobody says your hair is gorgeous until you have it all cut off!

In the past 2 years I've suffered some emotional and physical trauma, which thinned my hair out even more, but it's thicker again now and I am going to try to avoid such mental/physical stress (mostly anxiety related). I have hypothyroidism (in check with the docs) and a tendency to low iron. From what I have learned scanning these boards, I need to quit caffeine (I'm on that), get plenty of sleep, and somehow get to where I'm not washing my hair every day. Great post by Dave, btw, on how to do that (can't remember where, sorry!).

My natural color is light brown with zero red tones, but is highlighted blonde on the ends of course. My last highlight was Nov 2007, so it's pretty obvious now. The sun strips my thin hair of it's color pretty easily, so I expect the virgin stuff to lighten up once it's been out of my head for a while.

When I was 20 it was mostly blonde because I bleached it myself. However, it never grew past my mid-back, so maybe that's why. I'm curious to see how long I can get it this time, especially now I'm interested in not abusing it!

I have not had bangs for about 10 years but am not sure how that is going to look with long hair on my older face. I really don't wanna look like a hag, but I really don't want to do the bangs/fringe thing either because it's so limiting. Any suggestions on how to soften the front appearance (where all the frown lines are!) would be most welcome.

It's in a V-Shape right now, with the lowest point about bra strap length, because of all the layers. I just took a photo to try to post it and after seeing all your photos, it looks horrible! However, it was educational in that I had no idea it was in that much of a V, or that the bottom of the V was that far down my back.

I work with a guy who sells well-made scissors. He gave me a pair which normally retail at $200! They have a razor-blade on them. I could not believe how effortlessly the scissors cut. I trimmed some of the split ends.

Hair goal: To  have it  mid to lower back, straight across, and  healthy looking. If that means mid-back only, ok!

Sorry for the long post. Maybe I should break it up into smaller points.


Edited by Sk8erBraids - April 24 2008 at 8:53am

Thanks for the reply, paper! And thanks for letting me know about the hair journals. It's great to have a supportive s.o.

I just figured out my hairtype:

1A. F. ii

So not much to work with there. You look like you have enviably thick hair!

Thank you for sharing your story, I enjoyed reading it!  I've noticed people seem to feel like they have to say something after you get a haircut.  I'm not sure why, maybe they feel its impolite not to say anything if its obvious you did something different, and you probably paid good money for it, so they feel you'd like to be complimented.

Hair takes a long time to grow though, so no one feels any pressure to say anything usually.  I did unintentionally shock a comment out of a coworker once by wearing my hair up for months on end (lots of different updos, I was into the french twists for a long time, I wasn't doing it to surprise people!)  When I started it was right below my shoulders, then one day I wore it down and by then it was near bsl.  My coworker said "Whoa its long!  I thought you had short hair!".  That only happened once though, and only that one person out of all my coworkers.

I do some highlighting to mine too, only in the front.  If you just do really thin pieces, you can grow it out gradually if you want to give it up in the future.  Sometimes it can be complicated, getting the exact right shade without doing too much damage!

Have fun on your journey!

Thanks for the compliment!  I do my own highlighting.  I get a highlift platinum dye at Sally with a blue base to counter the orange that comes out when hair is lightened, and use it with 40 volume developer.  Doing it once makes the highlights come out a nice dark blonde. Doing it in the sun in the summer makes them go light yellow blonde, so I do whichever my mood craves.  If your natural haircolor is light brown, you may need more lift than that, depending on how light you were going for.  Often darker than dark blonde would require some bleaching.

Thanks for the highlighting info, Susan. I'll probably be up for that soon. Never been to a Sally Beauty supply store before. This helps me though. I was stood in the supermarket recently, completely dumbfounded by the array of hair coloring products. I left empty handed.

Thanks for the encouragement, Bob! I measured my hair in the past week, and checked some photos from the last time it was snipped (end sept. 2007). The longest lengths were about 18" then, full of layers, and now it's at 22.5" at the longest part of the "V". I'm pretty tall so I have avoided any kind of pixie cuts like the plague (my head would look like a little apple all the way up there on top of my body). I was thinking about my bf's approach to encouraging longer hair, and although he was always careful not to complain or turn his nose up each time I got it cut back to right at my collarbone, I somehow got the message without feeling insulted that the longer my hair is the better.  I wish more guys would just go ahead and speak out in encouraging ways about this, because I've never yet met one who loved short hair on a woman.

Welcome Sk8erBraids!  Yep, appreciation of long hair on women is a guy thing.    Susan knows her stuff when it comes to hair coloring!  (And Susan, I enjoyed your story about shocking your co-workers.)

Glad you've found some food for thought.