QuoteReplyTopic: Argh! Posted: May 24 2008 at 10:37pm
Three or four days ago, I went to my favorite party store. That's what we call a store that carries beer, wine, liquor and snacks here in Michigan, USA. I ordered my favorite submarine sandwich and waited for it to be made to order.
I had been frequenting the store more often since setting eyes on the most amazing redhead I have ever seen. EVER. With hair to her waist, perfect bangs and a body to match, this sexy woman was worth the price increase that the owner had recently placed on just about every item on the food menu. Her hair was so clean, so immaculate, and I admired her from afar as her hair slipped out of a ponytail and cascaded down her back as she giggled with other customers.
I mentioned to one of the owners that he always hired the prettiest cashiers and said I'd even like to take a photo of the redhead on duty that night. He laughed and half-heartedly said "go ahead," but I chickened out, limiting my one-on-one time to small talk with her before leaving, thinking about all the things I should have said.
I went back to the store tonight and was stunned to see the cashier's hair was at least a foot shorter. Her hair is still amazing in color and the bangs are still there, but it's no longer waistlength. Cripe, she didn't even have it in a ponytail as it bounced against her back, perhaps bra-strap length at best.
"Dude," I said to the owner, "I tell you that your cashier has the best hair in the city and you let her get it cut?"
"She donated it," he said.
With a wrenched look on my face and my eyes rolling back into my head, I took a deep sigh and told the owner, "I hate to break her heart..." and then went on to tell him about the pros and cons of Locks of Love. He listened intently to my theory (and those published on this very site) of how there's no way there could be that many children to need a warehouse filled with donated hair. When faced with the facts, the owner concluded that selling donated hair was a "scam."
I didn't tell his cashier about this, of course. She already had lost her smile. Maybe she was upset about her decision to cut her hair; maybe it was something else. But I was disappointed, not only at her for cutting the hair, but at myself for not complimenting her and getting the photo when I had the chance.
Who knows if I could have stopped a planned haircut or if it was a spur of the moment thing? But I blew it, plain and simple.
Who has more fun than people?
Addy
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I admire others hair alot too! I never really say so to them but just look from a distance and I tell myself, someday I will have long beautiful hair!!!
A little girl came over with her mommy to pick up my co-worker and I just stared at her butt length hair. A few weeks later, I asked the co-worker what her name is and added how beautiful her hair is and she told me she got it cut to midback.
I wanted to cry! Seriously! CRY! CRY! CRY!
It was gone!
Bob S
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Kramer, it might have been better if you had paid *her* a passing compliment instead of delivering it second-hand. It's a great feeling when you *prevent* someone from becoming the next LoL victim. Who knows, she may have mentioned to you that she'd soon be donating it, and you'd have had your chance. Yes, I myself have told scores of women about the scant 1% that is used to make wigs, and usually the truth is much appreiated. Maybe I'm just more bal*sy when it comes to things like that. I do have a polite and respectful demeanor, so that helps. Sorry, Bob
DaveDecker
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Hey shy guys and gals... there's only one thing you can do -- start speaking up! Don't hesitate to pay a compliment when you first see them. "Your hair is beautiful! Do you love it?" ... can start a conversation. Y'all see what happens when you hold your peace... so get talking!
30isthenewblack
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Yes, I agree. We should make the effort to compliment people on their long hair knowing first hand how much time, dedication and effort it took in growing it so long.
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Kramer
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While it was too late to do anything about the gorgeous redhead at the party store, an opportunity to provide great advice fell into my lap yesterday.
Relay for Life is the signature fund-raising event of the American Cancer Society. The idea is to have teams raise money in a variety of fun ways while having various members of the team walking around a track for 24 hours as a symbolic gesture in the continuing battle against cancer.
I was attending a Relay for Life event in my hometown. Apparently on the day's agenda they give people an opportunity to get their haircut and donate it to Locks of Love.
I was unable to talk one woman out of donating her shoulder-length hair -- she said she had donated before and just could not be convinced otherwise -- and she encouraged me to take a photo of the cutting. I declined and kept walking.
Along the walk, I encountered a woman in her late 40s/early 50s who had a beautiful thick blonde ponytail down to the small of her back. Her gorgeous hair matched her beautiful face and I was kind in awe of her as we talked while walking around the Relay path.
We parted ways eventually but she came up to me 15 or so minutes later and asked where she could have he ponytail cut off and donate it. When I asked, "Why me?" she said she thought I would know. Strange, eh?
The longhaired beauty said she had donated her hair before with the attitude (her words) "What the (expletive), it's just hair." She then let me tell her what I knew about Locks of Love... the rest of the story, as it were. I pointed out that Americans donate hair to LoL pretty much every day of the year -- that there's probably a warehouse full of ponytails some place -- and there can't possibly be that many people in need of wigs, so hair like hers might be sold to a wig maker. I repeated things that have been written on this site, who quote sources such as Wikipedia. I quoted the Better Business Bureau report.
"Besides," I added, "your hair is way to beautiful to donate, especially if you don't know where it's going to wind up. Don't you think?" She blushed, said she didn't know about her hair's beauty and thanked me for my views on Locks of Love. She said she would not be getting her hair cut that day or any time soon.
That news was pretty great.
Who has more fun than people?
Bob S
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Felt great, didn't it Kramer? You made her day, and she made yours! Bob
Hey, BTW, I simply tell women that there is less than 1 in 100 chance that the donation will be used in the making of a child's wig. I reprinted the NYTimes October article for those who ask for verification. It's a bad deal, period.
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Few men are killed by the bayonet;many are scared by it.Bayonets should be fixed when the fire fight starts.General George Patton Jr.,War As I Knew It,1947.
30isthenewblack
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I saw a lady in her 40's today & I told her she had great hair in the spirit of giving people hair compliments. She gave me this funny look & to make matters worse, the train was full & I had to stand next to her for the entire trip. I wish people would accept compliments more graciously. I'm not a salesman, trying to convert her to some obsure religion or sell her drugs. I obviously had nothing to gain by giving her a compliment. I don't know what is wrong with people these days.
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Bob S
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Don't sweat it, 30! Many folks do not know how to take a compliment. Someone I know well has lost quite a few pounds since her graduation. A classmate spotted her, and told her that she looked great. Her response was, "O.....K?" I urged her to simply say "Thank you" next time. Her problem is that she still suffers from poor self-image.
You don't always get a giggling "You made my day!", as I got from a 50ish woman recently. But remember that a compliment never hurts a recipient! Blessings, Bob
30isthenewblack
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I agree, a simple thank you will always suffice and I do find that people who don't take compliments graciously suffer from poor self image which I guess is reason enough to keep on going with my positive hair compliments campaign. I did compliment a lady at work who has glorious hair down to her hip. She told me cut it to a bob last year. I almost fainted How is the movement going in other countries?
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Kramer
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Guys, I went back to the party store and the redhead was working tonight. Her hair is still midback in length so you can imagine how much she got cut off. I'm dying to take her a copy of the New York Times article on hair donations, explain the truth about Locks of Love and compliment her so she doesn't make the same mistake, but I'm still so intimitated by her beauty. She truly is one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. A living doll.
Are any of you guys living in Michigan? If so, can you do it for me? LOL
If you feel so strongly though that you want to give her reasons not to
cut off her beautiful hair again, this comes from your heart and its
best for you to have this conversation yourself. You have to realize though, that after you tell her that, she may well be devastated that her hair has a 99% chance of being sold to rich people for extensions. (That alone keeps me from talking bad about lol, part of me feels bad about raining on someone's feel-good parade. ...That's not to say I wouldn't spout the facts if someone harassed me to donate mine though.)
If you do talk to her, you have to be casual. Women get a little nervous if they realize a guy worships them! You have to keep reminding yourself that beauty does not make anyone better than anyone else - she's just a person, and worshipping someone else for their beauty is bad for you (you give your own power away, so to speak).
Making metal barettes/concord clips hair safe, long hair style how to: http://alonghair.wordpress.com
Bob S
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Oh yeah, Susan, one should be very circomespect in approaching the LoL topic, esp. after the cut has been done. I did tell my SIL too late, only b/c she insisted that I explain, after my jaw dropped when she told me that she'd only cut hers to donate. She felt badly and so did I. But LoL is the duplicitous entity, not I. I'm so sick of people being scammed!
Kramer, I would not approach her with the NYTimes article in hand. IF you discuss LoL at all with her, you might tell her that you saved the article. I think it's good enough that you discussed it with her boss. Y'know, give the re-print to HIM, if anyone. He knows her, so let him decide whether to approach her or not. Best, Bob
Lengthygoal
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I was planning on donating my hair to Locks of Love once it reached my knees. (I was going to go from knee length to waist lenth). I never really thought about how many people do donate hair. My little cousin just cut her waist length hair to a bob for Locks of Love. Now I'm not sure I want to.
Kramer
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As much as I hate making judgment calls for others, after reading your hair story and after you have read many posts on this web site, I can't believe you'd even consider cutting your hair much less donating it to Locks of Love. Which party store do you work at? I'll fly there and talk you out of it. I've learned my lesson well, eh?
Who has more fun than people?
fatmoogas
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If you do talk to her, you have to be casual. Women get a little nervous if they realize a guy worships them! You have to keep reminding yourself that beauty does not make anyone better than anyone else - she's just a person, and worshipping someone else for their beauty is bad for you (you give your own power away, so to speak).
So very, very true!
Lengthygoal
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As much as I hate making judgment calls for others, after reading your hair story and after you have read many posts on this web site, I can't believe you'd even consider cutting your hair much less donating it to Locks of Love. Which party store do you work at? I'll fly there and talk you out of it. I've learned my lesson well, eh?
Well now that I've done some research I probably won't donate my hair but I know that I want to grow my hair just as long as I can but its going to be a struggle once I get out of college and begin a career as a businesswoman. Not sure what I will do now.
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