Jena,Please be nicer. From his letter, it seems to me that the haircut was not the reason that the marriage fell apart. In fact, it sounds a lot to me like a case of a woman cutting her hair just to make her husband mad. (One of my friends did this when she was having a bad breakup with her boyfriend. It happens.) And excuse me if I am being "old fashioned," but I think that, in a healthy relationship, both partners should try to please the other. This means at least warning your husband if you are about to get a haircut you know he won't like. Nobody here ever said that they looked at hair over all other attributes of people. The hair issue is merely a beauty issue, and, while appearences attract initially, it takes more than appearences to hold a relationship together. Form my readings of their posts, these men seem to acknowlege that. Sorry if I was harsh, but I don't like it when people throw verbal punches at each other.Erika> Maybe I'm missing something, but didn't bb break up> his family, largely due to a *haircut* by his wife?> And if these men are limiting their searches for wives> to only those women with long hair, how is that> showing "appreciation for a woman as a> person"?> Maybe it's too late at night for me to be responding,> but I'll be blunt. It seems as if a few people here> are basing an entire person's worth or beauty on the> length of her *hair*! This just seems very> psychologically unhealthy to me. I think there are a> lot of things more important in life than hair, yet> there seems to be an undue emphasis placed on it.> It's one thing to appreciate hair. But it's another to> be so wrapped up in it to the exclusion of overlooking> other attributes of people.
Erika
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> Isn't it a bit superficial to base a relationship on> the length of a woman's hair!? Just a thought, but> perhaps this is why some people get the label of> "hair-obsessed."Well, I don't know bb personally, so I can't say for sure, but it would occur to me that that a preference for long hair over short hair is not really any different than a preference for tall over short height or blue over green eyes. Everyone has a different concept of beauty, and, where love is concerned, apperances do matter at least a little. Just a thought.Erika
>They suggest we dress> a step above the students in order to look> professional,My TAs always wore jeans and t-shirts! As a grad student, taking classes, teaching, and doing research, I doubt you'll have much time to think about appearance, in all honesty.I don't think how you wear your hair will make a big difference one way or another. The exception might be if you start wearing exceptionally frilly or "little girlish" type of ribbons or barrettes, which most likely will detract from your status. Although we all have an interest in hair on this board, I don't really think your students will pay much attention, unless you wear your hair in a very unusual fashion or as I mentioned above, try to draw attention to it with several accessories. Simple is probably best. If you're running late, a quick scrunchie in the back will do the trick!Best wishes in grad school, Kim! :-)
One day> she suprised me at work with her new HAIRCUT!!!!> Noticed I said SURPRISED me. There was never any> dicussion of how I felt. Never even a hint!!! And her> new LOOK was incredibly horrible!!! To this day I> think it was on purpose!!!!> Needless to say, everything else in the marriage was> falling apart,too. And it ended, not just because of a> haircut, but it did play a significant part in our> failing relationship because the trust and mutual> decision making was gone.>I was married for sixteen years bb and I would have never thought of mentioning to my husband about having a haircut plus I am sure that she felt she look more attractive that way because it is a female nature to want to look attractive . Lets face it bb it really didn't matter what either one of you did at that point. It was the end of the marriage and the hair was just an extra needle in the back.Diane
> How refreshing to see men such as the two of you truly> have appreciation for a woman as a person and advocate> treatment as such.Maybe I'm missing something, but didn't bb break up his family, largely due to a *haircut* by his wife? And if these men are limiting their searches for wives to only those women with long hair, how is that showing "appreciation for a woman as a person"?Maybe it's too late at night for me to be responding, but I'll be blunt. It seems as if a few people here are basing an entire person's worth or beauty on the length of her *hair*! This just seems very psychologically unhealthy to me. I think there are a lot of things more important in life than hair, yet there seems to be an undue emphasis placed on it.It's one thing to appreciate hair. But it's another to be so wrapped up in it to the exclusion of overlooking other attributes of people.
I have never suggested that you (or anyone else) don't have a right to your opinion! I'm afraid you're introducing a brand-new topic to the discussion.
Mark
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>Jena, The men in this country have a right to thefreedom and expression of their thoughts and ideas.The responsible and polite expression of my thoughtsand ideas on the hairboard,should be granted to me.There will always be men,who will have different thoughtsand ideas than you,Jena. This country is not a policestate for expression of what kind of hair styles men,want to see on ladies. There will always be people,with differing points of view,than what you have,Jena
I think we have all drifted alittle of topic. Dear Dawn be your self and were your hair wit pride in the most proffesional way you see fit. You may try it up one day ordown the next. I remember a teacher from my school days who always had her hair up. She always showed Authority andexpected the best of her students. The only time see took iteasy and really let her hair down was at the end of the school year and everybody wanted to see her long hair whichwas mid thigh length and she was not the most not likebeause her was so tough but was loved toward the end of the year because she knew when to let her hair down.DaveToronto> Dave and bb,> Your words were beautiful and warmed my heart.> How refreshing to see men such as the two of you truly> have appreciation for a woman as a person and advocate> treatment as such.> Much Love, Gentleman, from....Jade:)> I am with you all the way on this one, Dave!!!! When I
>And it ended, not just because of a> haircut, but it did play a significant part in our> failing relationship because the trust and mutual> decision making was gone.I know this will sound very accusatory, but do you ever think that your interest in hair is perhaps overshadowing everything else in your life? Although it certainly would have been nice if your wife asked for your opinion before she cut her hair, the fact is that it is *her* hair.My husband very much loves long hair. When I cut it short, he was not happy at all with the haircut, but it never affected his love for me. Our relationship is too important to allow something as trivial and superficial as hair to ruin it.This is absolutely not meant to be a flame, but it sounds like your interest in hair really is an obsession and you're allowing it to dominate your life. I know, because I've been there. After I cut my hair, I HATED it and pretty much thought the world was coming to an end. Then, something just snapped inside and said, "Get a grip. It's *hair*. It grows. I'm no less feminine than before and my friends and family don't love me any less." And then my hair became.....simply hair and not an obsession.Just a thought.
BUT, if you find that very> special person and she doesn't share your passion for> long hair, then is she REALLY the right person???Do you really wish to base the entire relationship...on hair? Although it's wonderful to share passions with a spouse, it isn't imperative. In fact, often opposites attract! But I'm curious -- is there a particular reason that hair plays such a huge role in your life, in fact so huge that you wouldn't consider marrying anyone who doesn't share your passion?
BB,It makes sense. You know in your heart what you want, not me, not even the new lady you might meet. If she does not share your passion for long hair, she may not be the right one for you, but you won't know for sure! We can not answer this, sitting at a keyboard. The answer will come from deep in your hearts, (yes, both of you!), and at that time you both will decide what is best.While we are doing math, try this on: How many phone calls does Deana have to make to her provider to read twelve new messages and post three more? So far, the answer is twenty, and I'm off line, now. Trying to get this one in...
> if you find that very> First of all I read your reply about the school> teacher and I understood that you would accept this> special person how she is eventhougth one day she> might change her mind and cut her hair. Right? Wrong?> I wasn't going to post anything but the above message> hit home. I went throught that situation with someone> special in my life. IN my case he isn't a long hair> lover but he is the perfect person. We learn to> comprimised.Hi Diane,Thanks for the comment. I read it, walked away and thought.One thing that you DON'T know is that I was married before. I persuaded her to grow her hair, and she did. And it grew and it grew, to below bra-strap length. At first, she only grew it for me, but then she saw its beauty and got many compliments on her hair and her looks. I have to say that in a crowd, she always stood out and I was always proud that she was my wife.Then came the baby. And then came the problems. And then came the arguments. And then came my long work hours. And.........you know where I'm leading. One day she suprised me at work with her new HAIRCUT!!!! Noticed I said SURPRISED me. There was never any dicussion of how I felt. Never even a hint!!! And her new LOOK was incredibly horrible!!! To this day I think it was on purpose!!!!Needless to say, everything else in the marriage was falling apart,too. And it ended, not just because of a haircut, but it did play a significant part in our failing relationship because the trust and mutual decision making was gone.I hope that gives you some insight into why I have remained single and where my thoughts were in my previous message.Your friend,bb
if you find that very> special person and she doesn't share your passion for> long hair, then is she REALLY the right person??? I> think that that is why I am drawn to the person who> already has the HAIR to see if she IS the right> PERSON!!! Does that make sense?>First of all I read your reply about the school teacher and I understood that you would accept this special person how she is eventhougth one day she might change her mind and cut her hair. Right? Wrong?I wasn't going to post anything but the above message hit home. I went throught that situation with someone special in my life. IN my case he isn't a long hair lover but he is the perfect person. We learn to comprimised.
Isn't it a bit superficial to base a relationship on the length of a woman's hair!? Just a thought, but perhaps this is why some people get the label of "hair-obsessed."
> Dave & BB,> Please don't limit your search for a soul mate to just> us ladies with long hair. You may be overlooking the> perfect life-long partner, just because her hair is> not long. You may end up with a long-haired partner> this way, but the relationship will not last if it is> just based on a love of long hair. No one wins in a> breakup, there is only heartache and sorrow. I> honestly feel finding a true soul mate just happens,> not when searching, but more unexpectedly. The work> then begins by growing and nurturing that> relationship. Who knows, the mate you find may see> your passion for long hair and grow her hair long for> you, or show you short hair can be just as desirable!Thanks for all the kind words, Deana. You are probably right, that we should look at the person and not the hair when seeking a mate. BUT, if you find that very special person and she doesn't share your passion for long hair, then is she REALLY the right person??? I think that that is why I am drawn to the person who already has the HAIR to see if she IS the right PERSON!!! Does that make sense?Anyway, back to math, if you have 14 office workers and 12 husbands....................?bb
Dave & BB,Please don't limit your search for a soul mate to just us ladies with long hair. You may be overlooking the perfect life-long partner, just because her hair is not long. You may end up with a long-haired partner this way, but the relationship will not last if it is just based on a love of long hair. No one wins in a breakup, there is only heartache and sorrow. I honestly feel finding a true soul mate just happens, not when searching, but more unexpectedly. The work then begins by growing and nurturing that relationship. Who knows, the mate you find may see your passion for long hair and grow her hair long for you, or show you short hair can be just as desirable!However, I have to come forward and admit one thing: One of the reasons I keep my long is because guys do like it...(smile). And thanks, you two, for the many compliments you give on this board to us ladies with long hair!
Dave and bb,Your words were beautiful and warmed my heart.How refreshing to see men such as the two of you truly have appreciation for a woman as a person and advocate treatment as such.Much Love, Gentleman, from....Jade:)I am with you all the way on this one, Dave!!!! When I> do finally meet that special long-haired lover that I> have been seeking, the last thing in the world that I> would want her to do is go right out and have it CUT> OFF!!!!!!!> I want to share and enjoy that hair with her forever,> or until she decides (hopefully never) that it is time> to cut her hair.> bb
Kim,I just wanted to say that I know you will do well:)The other thing with regard to your actual question is that it's your attitude and demeanor and not your hair which will determine your positive or negative interaction with the students.It's like your somewhere between a student and a professor. Your not expected to know everything and don't project an image like you do:) With the college students, the fact that you are a student is a plus. You have been where they are. At the same time, since you have graduated from their level, you have to know how to get your message across re your expectations from day 1. Have a mental script, rather than trying to wing it:)At Hopkins, I can remember having TA's as young as 25. The vast majority of them looked just like "typical" college students. The best TA's I had were the ones who kept their distance in the sense that they had a job to do, which was to teach us, but also maintained a strong semblance of being a human being. No power trips, no unreasonable expectations, just GREAT guidance in the learning process and communication.All the Best,JadeP.S. Don't fight that baby face,girl:)Hi there. I was wondering if there were people out> there who teach and happen to have longer than average> hair. I am starting a new job as a teaching assistant,> which I have never done before. They suggest we dress> a step above the students in order to look> professional, which I have no problem with, but I am a> little anxious about my hairstyle. I think a bun may> seem either matronly or like I'm trying too hard, but> I'm not so sure I should have my hair waving down my> back, either. I want to look sort of authoritative> without being school-marmish (I am a grad student,> they are freshmen; I'm about ten years older than they> are, but look pretty young). Is there anyone out there> in a similar position with some advice? Thanks in> advance.> Kim
> It's interesting to note how some people's perceptions> of the maturity (or lack thereof) of others are> associated with hair length. Objectively speaking,> short hair is no more mature or professional than is> long hair -- it's just shorter.> When in love, the idea of having a "brand new> lover" is completely unappealing to me. Different> strokes for different folks, I guess. The woman I> marry someday will be the woman I want to be my lover> for life. Along the lines of the old Billy Joel tune> "I love you just the way you are."> DaveI am with you all the way on this one, Dave!!!! When I do finally meet that special long-haired lover that I have been seeking, the last thing in the world that I would want her to do is go right out and have it CUT OFF!!!!!!!I want to share and enjoy that hair with her forever, or until she decides (hopefully never) that it is time to cut her hair.bb
>> In general, I agree with the opinion that short hair> on a woman (reasonably short, like shoulder-length or> bob styled, not "punked" or> "buzzed" or "butched") is far more> professional than long hair in a bun or braid....that> seems just a little to immature, IMO.I see that you are there to add that extra spice when needed hey? lol Silly man ( teasing) Where you get this stuff? lol There is no truft to it at all. lolIn my children school we have an librarian that has long hair down to her buttocks and at times she wears it in a bun or a braid.In the upper grades I noticed my son has this wonderful strick female teacher that has long hair and often wears it loose.Last year my youngest son had this wonderful teacher and she also have long hair and she would braid it, or let it loose.Oh did I meantion the school guidence consuller has long hair down to her waist. She wears it loose.Now all these women are taken seriously.
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