horrible hair disaster

recently I had get my 5 inch hair cut short (about 2 inches) due to a haircolor disaster. It is now 2 inches all over with orange and brown highlights (horrible) My husband does nothing but tell me I look like a boy and makes me cry all the time. I used to be a model and now I feel sooo ugly. I want to go shorter (like charlize theron in The Astronaughts Wife) and get it all blonde. It would be shorter, but it would at least look normal. But I am soooo scared of going even shorter because of my husband. I dont know how awful he will make me feel. I am stuck.

Have a heart to heart talk about your hair with hubby. As a long hair lover, I can tell you that right now that he is thinking that his feelings matter not a whit to you. I thought Charlize looked great super short, but I'm one who likes some short looks on some women. I talk to guys who LOATHE cropped hair on all women, and sometimes one of the women they complain about is their own wife. Just telling you the truth here!
Just guessing, but some men resent the bait and switch of long when romancing, to short after marriage. And since most men don't express feelings well, his lashing out may be in lieu of expressing his inner thoughts. Insist he talk about them, and see if you can come to an understanding. It can't hurt. Good luck! Bob

There was no bait and switch here. She cut it because of a hair disaster. It wasn't about her husband's feelings, since the cut wasn't a choice. He's being insensitive. And that's going to hurt.

But there is a solution, besides getting a hot short haircut. Where more make-up and girlier clothes. Often, when a haircut feels less feminine, it helps self-esteem to compensate. And your husband won't see you as boyish. Keri Russell talked about this when she cut her hair short.

People who think that short hair looks "boyish" or "unfeminine" are basically living in the stone age.
For how many decades have women been wearing short hair now? Ever noticed how many women have short hairstyles these days. Many do obviously.

I got as much attention from men when I cut my hair very short as I ever did with long hair. Not all men are idiots.

I agree with person who mentioned dressing feminine and wearing earrings, makeup, etc. to compliment your short hairstyle.
The short blonde pixie you mentioned is adorable, most normal men would think so too.
I say go for it girl!

I don't believe it's "stone age" thinking when a guy hates short hair on women. Some men hate long hair, too. It's whatever turns you on.
I understand that the short cut was the result of bad coloring, but the choice for 2" hair, and thinking of going shorter may be more than DH can stand. 5" is rather short, also.
There's no rhyme or reason, (though I think most people recognize beauty in long hair), but long tresses are an incredible turn on for many guys. Just my hunch, but I'll bet the hair was much longer while dating. Everyone gets older, but the sacrifice of long hair is a decision that some men cannot understand, and sometimes resent.
When my wife had short hair, she wore it in a style that I liked. It may not have been as exciting as her long hair, but at least my input mattered. And, her length is back now, hopefully for keeps this time. She's the best! (lol) Bob

BoB S you are truly ignorant!! You must have some mental problems if you think its fun to rub ones disaster in their face. By the way my hair wasn't long when we were dating- I am 22 years old and have had short hair since I could remember. I dont like the feeling of having knots on my back. So next time think before you post somthing that proves your utter ignorance. You are a certified DOG.

OK, Hottie, I'm twice your age. (44) I was remiss in not saying that your hubby's comments are inappropriate and cruel. Nowhere did I make fun of your coloring "disaster". The fact that you've always had short hair makes your DH's words all the more bewildering. I'n not into sarcasm, but apparently he is.
It is a fact that many women cut their hair, much to their husband's chagrin, after the wedding is history. I know many. By speculating, I was trying to understand from where your hubby's caustic remarks stemmed.
Oh, and it is NOT a bad thing for a woman to cut her hair short. Women should understand, however, that to some men, long hair is their biggest turn on. Apologies from a "dog" who wishes he was a cat! (lol) Bob

Bob would have been kicked out o here long ago if he treated long haired people the way he treats short haired people. Double standard?

Hal wrote: Bob would have been kicked out o here long ago if he treated long haired people the way he treats short haired people. Double standard?

and

arch94 wrote: Amen Hal...we don't have a "night watchmen" here at the short hair board like they have over at the long hair board. Double Standard? You bet!

I keep an eye on many of the boards here -- when I can. Lately that hasn't been as much as I'd like.

People are only "kicked off" the boards if they are abusive (personal attacks) or extremely vulgar. IMO Bob is merely foolish to post some of what he writes here. Your arguments against those statements suffice as rebuttal... don't you think?

Besides, I recall a number of posts from you (arch) on the long hair board which I allowed to stay and which were clearly not supportive of long hair. There is no double standard.