How To Divorce Hairdresser?

Hi,I just found this site. Awesome.Here is my question that I hope will get some comment.I have been going to the same hairstylist for 15 years. I know his wife, he likes my kids, he sends me birthday cards, we go to the same church. You get the picture.It has gotten so that he NEVER does what I ask with my hair. He has developed this image of me over the years and how he things my hair should be. So no matter how many photos I take in or how often I try to talk to him about changing my hair...he does what he wants.I want to switch. I don't want to hurt his feelings. Once before I told him I needed some "new blood". Well he got all hurt and said he would do whatever I asked with my hair. He didn't.So now what do I do? Obviously he will see that I am not coming to my monthly appointments and he will see my hair in church and know that it is different. I have been worrying about this for months and no one seems to be able to give me a good answer or suggestion.I thought maybe all of your caring people could help me find a humane way to pull the plug on this nice guy who is now the hairdresser from hell.Thanks in advance.Danielle

Ally,I loved how you handled that situation. I was in a similar hairstylist hell, except it was worse than that. It was my sister-in-law's sister. When I first went to see her she worked in a regular salon and that was great. She did a good job, was on time and it was hair heaven.Then she decided to do "hair part time" while she went back to school. She would "have scissors, will travel" and would schedule appointments with me to stop by and cut my hair. She would also cut my husband's hair.Things started going downhill when she would show up 1, 2 or even 3 hours late without calling. Then she wouldn't show up at all, for days. I could not get her on the phone.The last straw was when she showed up really drunk. I would not let her cut my hair. It was not pleasant.I went the next day to a salon and got a real cut by a sober stylist. My sister-in-law was really mad at me for a long time "for not giving her little sister a fair deal" but I didn't care. Eventually they all got over it and I never again will let someone "in the family" do my hair. It turned out to be a lot like an office romance. BAD NEWS.Good luck Danielle. I agree with everything that Ally said. It is your money, your hair and your time.Maybe you could hang at a different church for awhile till you feel more comfortable about seeing your stylist.Sandi>> Danielle--> Ha! I dealt with this very situation last> year. My colorist, whose salon was within walking> distance of my college campus, was making a wreck> of my hair. She had done stunning work at first,> transforming my naturally dark hair into a uniform,> platinum blonde.> Then she started getting sloppy, overbooking> clients so that she was working on two or three> heads at once. She got careless with the formulas> and timing--and my hair was getting STRIPES of> varying blondes (none of them pretty). The last> straw was when she turned my hair BLUE and then> balked when I insisted she squeeze me in first> thing the next morning for repairs.> I knew it was time to move on, but we had> also developed a friendship. (This, I think, was> part of the reason she was so cavalier with me.)> I babysat for her, saw her weekly in passing,> and ate lunch with her. There was no weaseling> away.> I gritted my teeth and just did it. I stopped> booking with her, and the next time I ran into> her, my hair was bright, Kate Winslet red. Obviously> not her handiwork. Her eyes bugged a bit, but> I just did my damnedest to act as if nothing was> any different. "Your hair looks nice!"> she floundered. (What else could she say?) I thanked> her breezily and changed the subject.> You've got to realize that it's your money,> your hair, your happiness. Unless this guy is> cutting for free, you are a /customer/. And you're> not getting what you paid for. Next time he asks> you to book in advance, be evasive. Tell him your> schedule is uncertain--you'll call.> When he notices your hair has been done by> someone else--I doubt he'll voice this observation;> Pam just gave me a stunned and slightly wounded> smile--be unapologetic, but be as friendly as> ever. Tell him (if he presses) that you were in> need of a trim and were out shopping, and your> friend convinced you to try her stylist. You were> ready for a change, and you're thrilled with the> results. Don't act guilty or sheepish. You must> act as though this is nothing personal at /all/.>> If he's the professional we think he is,> he won't demand further explanation or insist> that you return. And eventually, he /will/ get> over it.> If not, you can always change religions.> ;)> Ally

Hi,I am loving this topic. It is something you just see anywhere else and it is a serious problem. I had to deal with this problem with my beloved stylist switched salons. First I had to endure paying a lot more money for a cut and a blow dry. Then I had to deal with a salon that overbooked and she had no control over some of it. Then she started rushing and cutting corners. I was furious. I was paying a lot more for a lot less and my hair looked like CRAP.I had been with Maria for 8 years and had followed her to several salons. This was the end of the line though.I sent her a thank you card that basically said I wanted to thank her for all the years of "great hair days" she bestowed on me, but that all good things must come to an end and I was moving on because of her current location. I asked her to call me if she relocated to a different salon.I did not hear from her for a long time. That Christmas she sent me a card and said she appreciated my note and would keep me in mind for the future.So it ended OK.Thanks for this topic.Jamie> Well I took the chicken's way out and just> stopped going after 5 years. After 3 months HE> called me on the PHONE and asked me why I had> not come it. I was mortified. I told him that> my schedule was tight and I would call him back.> I didn't. He left one message on my machine and> that was it. But for weeks I was worried he would> call me back.> Can you believe that a hair dresser could> have that much power over us? It is terrible.>> I stopped going because he was always at> least 30 minutes late but towards the end he was> up to 1 hour late. I would even call to see if> he was on schedule and he would lie and say yes> and then I would still have to wait.> Thanks for this great topic. I feel better> just talking about it.> Toni