QuoteReplyTopic: To Diane Posted: January 12 2000 at 2:57am
Hi Karen,I agree with you completely! A person's hair is their choice, taste and decision. It's a very personal matter, that does not deserve criticism from anyone else. To each their own is the way I see it. I am very fond of this board. It's such of a blessing. I wouldn't think of insulting what is none of my business. You won't have any problems out of me. Keep up the good work on this fantastic site. The first time I saw it, I was thrilled! Now, I have itbookmarked. > First Jeff and I would like to thank all of you for> visiting and supporting Hair Boutique and all the talk> boards.> We appreciate all of you very much and just want to> say that up front. We know that without all of you> there would not be a Hair Boutique.> Jeff and I try at all costs to avoid censoring posts> on this board as much as possible.> It is a fine line to walk because we want the majority> of people to feel comfortable about visiting Hair> Boutique. Many other message boards have gone to> complete censorship and will not post anything they> deem remotely objectionable.> We don't want to take that position. We want you all> to feel free to post whatever is appropriate to the> subject matter of this board.> Jeff and I try very hard to never take sides in any> discussion and while we may express our opinions, we> try very hard to never judge or say that anyone is> right or wrong.> If you send me email and ask about long hair or short> hair, I will try to give you the absolute best> information I have without any type of opinion.> I personally love my hair long. I don't look good in> short hair because of my face shape. However, I have> many friends who look stunning in short hair and if> they enjoy that look, that is great. I don't believe> there is a right or wrong hair length.> Hair Boutique is about hair. It is about freedom of> hair. We respect people with long hair, short hair,> any type of hair. We try to provide support for people> with any type of hair problems, questions or concerns.> Hair can be just like religion or politics. This can> evoke very passionate beliefs. That is wonderful and> honorable unless those passions result in flames or> verbal attacks or an attempt to take over any of the> boards to promote personal goals.> When that happens there is no way to easily find a> good solution. It is like two cats fighting. It> doesn't matter who started it or what was said. It> just becomes difficult to stop. Even when it seems to> be over...it will flare up and continue.> We would like to request that this topic be retired at> this point. This is not the Long Hair Boutique. It is> not the Short Hair Boutique or the Blonde Boutique or> the Redhead Boutique...etc.> It is simply the Hair Boutique.> Jeff and I have decided not to create a new talk> board. The majority of visitors have requested that we> not do that and instead try to find some solution to> the flaming. Not easy. We shall try.> We would like to request that if any topic on Hair> Talk turns into a flame war that you continue your> fighting offline through private email. It is a simple> matter to post your email and ask people to respond to> your privately.> When there have been past problems on Hair Talk Jeff> and I have always privately emailed the appropriate> people and asked them to stop. When we remove posts> for any reason we also send private email explaining> why. It is never our intent to ever embarrass or cause> bad feelings.> Sometimes even with private email asking for people to> stop, they still don't. Then we have to post a message> asking the person to stop. We hate to do that.> Our goal is simply to make Hair Talk and the Boutique> a welcome place for everyone to feel comfortable with.> Please help us do that. It is not always easy.> For now...we would like this topic retired. Please> honor our wishes on this.> Warm regards to everyone and thanks for your continued> support.> Karen & Jeff
Thank you very much for saying what you wanted to say in a polite way and I will try not to go against your rules and regulations.But what I said had no sides, it had no harassing of any sort.I did not put anyone down, and if I seemed to, I actually helped them up. I tried to help Diane put her opinion to people in a less competitive way. Was there at all anything wrong with this?I would like to know so that I can add this on to the Rule list that I will create shortly so that I won't make any more mistakes.I understand how you want to keep this site clean and tidy so people who come here aren't offended, but if you were planning to censor my request and support to Diane, I really don't know what the problem was.Thanks again for being polite, which I like so very much.And yes, I will put this subject to rest.
Thank you very much for saying what you wanted to say in a polite way and I will try not to go against your rules and regulations.But what I said had no sides, it had no harassing of any sort.I did not put anyone down, and if I seemed to, I actually helped them up. I tried to help Diane put her opinion to people in a less competitive way. Was there at all anything wrong with this?I would like to know so that I can add this on to the Rule list that I will create shortly so that I won't make any more mistakes.I understand how you want to keep this site clean and tidy so people who come here aren't offended, but if you were planning to censor my request and support to Diane, I really don't know what the problem was.Thanks again for being polite, which I like so very much.
KAREN
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Dear Ally,Jeff and I will be posting a "Rules For Hair Talk" that will outline what is appropriate and what is not for Hair Talk. We will try to give a broad outline of the appropriate topics as much as possible. We will continue to encourage talk on hair topics of all types.We will have these rules permanently displayed in the near future. We have avoided this step in the past because we always just trusted everyone to treat each other as adults and with respect and kindness. This unfortunately has not always happened.We are still very opposed to doing any type of heavy handed censoring of our board. We want to keep this as open and friendly as possible. We also want people to work out their problems themselves, but after a certain point, offline.We encourage and admire "discussion, opinion giving, talking, etc." Unfortunately, some people can not handle it when people do not agree with them or they take things very personal or in the wrong spirit. Therefore they become attacking in their responses and we would prefer any unpleasantness to be taken offline.If we sincerely did not want discussion, opinions, conversation etc..then we would either just shut down this board completely or censor it with a heavy hand. We are choosing to do neither and want to continue to encourage talking on all types of hair issues.If you or anyone would like to discuss this further, you can email me privately (shelton@hairboutique.com) and I will be glad to answer any questions or concerns you may have.If Jeff or I ever see a problem on the boards we have always politely, privately and respectfully contacted the parties in question by email and discussed this with them offline.We have removed inappropriate posts in the past and we have always let the people know why. We always do this privately.It is never our wish or intention to ever embarrass or "admonish" anyone at anytime. I apologize if anyone has felt this to be the case with our request to close this topic at this time.Best wishes,Karen> Karen & Jeff,> Obviously you reserve the right to intervene whenever> you choose. And I think most of us agree that the> subject of long hair vs. short hair has grown> tiresome.> But you keep mentioning "flames." That> startles me, because I have yet to see a post on this> board--well, maybe one or two--that I would consider a> flame. "Flames" are hostile, openly> insulting, and mean-spirited. Usually there's no> intelligent argument contained within. This scenario> is the opposite of what I've encountered here on Hair> Talk.> I'm a little leery, because I'm not sure whether I'm> included in your admonishment. A week or so ago, I> pounded out a post called "Debunking the Rapunzel> Myth" that prompted a lot of replies. But I> thought it was restrained and respectful. I thought> those who disagreed with me were restrained and> respectful. Where do you draw the line between> "flaming" and spirited debate? Should we> avoid contradicting or disputing someone else's post?> If so, then maybe social issues should be left off of> this message board altogether, because in that case> it's not an open forum after all.> I'm not trying to be a rabble rouser. I feel bad if> I've violated the spirit of this discussion group, and> I'd appreciate having a clearer idea of what is> expected.> Respectfully,> Ally
Karen & Jeff,Obviously you reserve the right to intervene whenever you choose. And I think most of us agree that the subject of long hair vs. short hair has grown tiresome.But you keep mentioning "flames." That startles me, because I have yet to see a post on this board--well, maybe one or two--that I would consider a flame. "Flames" are hostile, openly insulting, and mean-spirited. Usually there's no intelligent argument contained within. This scenario is the opposite of what I've encountered here on Hair Talk.I'm a little leery, because I'm not sure whether I'm included in your admonishment. A week or so ago, I pounded out a post called "Debunking the Rapunzel Myth" that prompted a lot of replies. But I thought it was restrained and respectful. I thought those who disagreed with me were restrained and respectful. Where do you draw the line between "flaming" and spirited debate? Should we avoid contradicting or disputing someone else's post? If so, then maybe social issues should be left off of this message board altogether, because in that case it's not an open forum after all.I'm not trying to be a rabble rouser. I feel bad if I've violated the spirit of this discussion group, and I'd appreciate having a clearer idea of what is expected.Respectfully,Ally
First Jeff and I would like to thank all of you for visiting and supporting Hair Boutique and all the talk boards.We appreciate all of you very much and just want to say that up front. We know that without all of you there would not be a Hair Boutique.Jeff and I try at all costs to avoid censoring posts on this board as much as possible.It is a fine line to walk because we want the majority of people to feel comfortable about visiting Hair Boutique. Many other message boards have gone to complete censorship and will not post anything they deem remotely objectionable.We don't want to take that position. We want you all to feel free to post whatever is appropriate to the subject matter of this board.Jeff and I try very hard to never take sides in any discussion and while we may express our opinions, we try very hard to never judge or say that anyone is right or wrong.If you send me email and ask about long hair or short hair, I will try to give you the absolute best information I have without any type of opinion.I personally love my hair long. I don't look good in short hair because of my face shape. However, I have many friends who look stunning in short hair and if they enjoy that look, that is great. I don't believe there is a right or wrong hair length.Hair Boutique is about hair. It is about freedom of hair. We respect people with long hair, short hair, any type of hair. We try to provide support for people with any type of hair problems, questions or concerns.Hair can be just like religion or politics. This can evoke very passionate beliefs. That is wonderful and honorable unless those passions result in flames or verbal attacks or an attempt to take over any of the boards to promote personal goals.When that happens there is no way to easily find a good solution. It is like two cats fighting. It doesn't matter who started it or what was said. It just becomes difficult to stop. Even when it seems to be over...it will flare up and continue.We would like to request that this topic be retired at this point. This is not the Long Hair Boutique. It is not the Short Hair Boutique or the Blonde Boutique or the Redhead Boutique...etc.It is simply the Hair Boutique.Jeff and I have decided not to create a new talk board. The majority of visitors have requested that we not do that and instead try to find some solution to the flaming. Not easy. We shall try.We would like to request that if any topic on Hair Talk turns into a flame war that you continue your fighting offline through private email. It is a simple matter to post your email and ask people to respond to your privately.When there have been past problems on Hair Talk Jeff and I have always privately emailed the appropriate people and asked them to stop. When we remove posts for any reason we also send private email explaining why. It is never our intent to ever embarrass or cause bad feelings.Sometimes even with private email asking for people to stop, they still don't. Then we have to post a message asking the person to stop. We hate to do that.Our goal is simply to make Hair Talk and the Boutique a welcome place for everyone to feel comfortable with.Please help us do that. It is not always easy.For now...we would like this topic retired. Please honor our wishes on this.Warm regards to everyone and thanks for your continued support.Karen & Jeff> Diane, first of all, get ready, this is long.> I stand by you and I also think that people should> keep their hair long and beautiful, however, I also> noticed how people are getting "ticked off"> by the WAY you enforce your ideas.> I myself have long hair and I love it just the way it> is.> But people who come here with short hair might take it> as an insult.> You know?> I guess MOST men admire women with long hair.> And the women with long hair have something to look> forward to,> and to be proud of.> People with short hair are sometimes happy with it,> people with long hair sometimes want short hair.> Both are good. Both are fabulous, everyone has their> own freedom to what length they want their hair to be.> I don't necessarily find it true that people encourage> women over 40 to cut their hair, or that people> encourage men to cut their hair, parents of young boys> maybe, Look at the Pro-Wrestlers, a good percent have> long hair, it adds to their tough character, men match> with both long AND short hair.> My aunt used to have very, very long hair she was in> her 70's> it made her look younger. She cut her hair really> short and she still looked good, but her hair was> healthier.> At school, all the girls have long hair, all of them,> except for a few.> People may appear to be stubborn towards you,> but they are standing up for their rights, their> rights are their own.> You said that people should stand up for their rights,> well maybe their standing up for the fact that people> can have short hair as well.> My point Diane is, I'm sure a lot of people agree with> you, but I'll bet you they think you're taking this> all too strongly and taking away their rights, that's> not true either, maybe if you put it to them in a> gentler way (I mean, not like your gentle already)in a> different way.> Point out all the good points about long hair that you> can think of,> they will start noticing and agreeing with you.> I'm glad you apoligized and I'm not taking sides, as> there don't appear to be any.> I don't mean this to anger you, I'm just trying to> help you set the words straight.
Diane, first of all, get ready, this is long.I stand by you and I also think that people should keep their hair long and beautiful, however, I also noticed how people are getting "ticked off" by the WAY you enforce your ideas.I myself have long hair and I love it just the way it is.But people who come here with short hair might take it as an insult.You know?I guess MOST men admire women with long hair.And the women with long hair have something to look forward to,and to be proud of.People with short hair are sometimes happy with it,people with long hair sometimes want short hair.Both are good. Both are fabulous, everyone has their own freedom to what length they want their hair to be.I don't necessarily find it true that people encourage women over 40 to cut their hair, or that people encourage men to cut their hair, parents of young boys maybe, Look at the Pro-Wrestlers, a good percent have long hair, it adds to their tough character, men match with both long AND short hair.My aunt used to have very, very long hair she was in her 70'sit made her look younger. She cut her hair really short and she still looked good, but her hair was healthier.At school, all the girls have long hair, all of them, except for a few.People may appear to be stubborn towards you,but they are standing up for their rights, their rights are their own.You said that people should stand up for their rights, well maybe their standing up for the fact that people can have short hair as well.My point Diane is, I'm sure a lot of people agree with you, but I'll bet you they think you're taking this all too strongly and taking away their rights, that's not true either, maybe if you put it to them in a gentler way (I mean, not like your gentle already)in a different way.Point out all the good points about long hair that you can think of,they will start noticing and agreeing with you.I'm glad you apoligized and I'm not taking sides, as there don't appear to be any.I don't mean this to anger you, I'm just trying to help you set the words straight.
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