Tell the truth...

 

I want to know the truth as to why black women are obsessed with having straight hair. Why they will risk breakage and hair loss just for the sake of straight hair. Is it because society makes us feel that our hair type is un attractive? Is it to fit in with white people? I just want to know the truth about how black women feel and their reason for doing it.

 

lolz! but i choose to have straight hair because my natural hair is way toooooo unmanageable! before i had a relaxer, just combingmy hair was such a hassle, hey, if you dont believe me. u should try combing through my new growth(lolz)! Back to the point- its not because i feel as if it is ugly, just harder! Trust me, If i had manageable natural hair, you would see me rockin an afro everyday.

Society does play a major role in our decision to relax our hair.  It does not necessarily come from whites, because in my experience it is your own people who will tell you that you need a perm first.
This is most especially true if your hair is course. 

I love natural hair.  In fact, I went natural for a 12-month period last year and I loved the freedom.  I never realized how much restrictions the relaxer placed on us and how we treat our hair, for example: not swimming, running from the rain, some women won't work out, etc....

Also, I went natural in my late 20s, and that was the first time I really took the time to truly learn, appreciate, and understand my natural texture.  I had been relaxed since I was 11, so it was real education for me during my natural phase.

I had planned on staying natural until I purchased Carolyn Gray's book, "How to Have Healthier Hair in 6 Weeks."  I had also discovered Caroline Howse and her hair regimine.  Both of these women had full, healthy heads of hair and both were relaxed.  In fact Carolyn Gray has 4B hair, like me, and her hair was long while relaxed. 

Shoot, if I had hair like Terry Ellis Ross, I would have never relaxed my hair.  But I have hair that has a ridiculous amount of shrinkage, and it snaps and pops when trying to detangle.  Most of all, I love the sleekness and manageability that relaxers afford us.

I do not think my decision to relax stems from my wanting to be white or closer to white.  I have never had a desire to be  anything other than what I am: a beautiful black woman with full lips, thick hair, and this skin of mine is simply gorgeous.  LOL

I am black and I am proud!!! 
If it weren't for these tightly-coiled curls, I would not have the body and volume.  I do not relax 100% because I know that my hair is and will always be curly, and keeping some of that curl makes me that more beautiful.  Some other races pay good money for curls and volume.

With that said, I am not oblivious to the politics that surround black hair.  I grew up in a beauty salon.  My mother owned a few salons when I was growing up.  Two of my three sisters are beauticians as well. 

So hair has always been an important element in my life.  One of my sisters has 3a/b hair.  My dad would and still does, blatantly say she is the prettiest of all the sisters.  When I cut my hair into a Halle Berry haircut, he was very displeased and did not hold his tongue.  My mom also used the words, "nappy" and the negative term "good-hair" my entire life.  I grew up thinking that some people can simply grow hair while others cannot.  It wasn't until I grew older that I had to unlearn a lot of those negative stereotypes and images.

Bottom line, a lot of what we know is passed on from our parents, and from their parents, and so on.  Boards like this one, books, and other forms of information are helping to dispell the untruths, and helping to inform black women, and teach them to understand and love their hair.

The more women read and learn about healthy hair, they will opt to not relax it bone straight.  And those that do, if they have good habits, know how to maintain it.
It is no longer a matter of wanting to be white.  That is an issue of 50 years ago.  In this day and age, it is a matter of not depending on the weave so much, and beleiving that we all can GROW hair, whether it is relaxed bone straight or natural.

thanks girl. i wish oprah or tyra would have a series on healthy hair.  even BET could have a series like this.

most black women still believe that long hair is only obtained thru weaves or genes.  but it can be grown by everyone. 

i am a former weave-wearer and it became a crutch. i also used to relax bone straight and had really bad hair habits.

so if we can share a lot of what many of us have learned to the masses, it would be great. i am tired of seeing our women with clear edges, stringy ends, lumps from tracks, fried from hot irons and curlers,  crusty from piles of gel, dry from not washing it in over a month, and so on....

when you know better, you do better


Edited by LadyEsquire - November 24 2006 at 4:29pm

this question comes up a lot on AA forums..when i saw this posted, i thought, oh gawd, not again...on the Black hair media forum, the subject went from why many nationalities want to "look white" to, "black women hate ourselves if they wear their hair straight"...

femmemuscle wrote: I second that emotion..maybe some folks don't know this, but most white women who didn't know what a straigthening comb was, back in the day, would lay their head/hair on an ironing board, and run a hot iron over it, to make it straight..Madame Walker revolutionized the hot comb..but more than just AA women were buying them...the straightening iron is used by every culture that can afford one today.. Weaves were not introduced by AA women, they were worn since the early twenties by caucasion women of high status - either that or wigs, and became popular in the 1940's...why? extensions were much more affordable due to the death camps..they cut off the jewish women's hair, and sold it, or used it to stuff mattresses..   I distinctly remember having an old beat-up mattress from the goodwill when i was a kid..we thought the mattress had bedbugs...this was the hair coming through little holes in the mattress mesh which was striped.it was beginning to irritate our skin...my brother cut into it thinking bugs would come climbing out...and we saw nothing but boxsprings and dark short to medium length hair...which was causing the prickliness...   Every culture finds something about another culture that's attractive..it has always been human behavior to emulate what we think it's attractive...this has been known throughout history..if you don't think it's true...try finding out where breast implants came from...The japanese women...they found that in order to keep an american soldier, they had to emulate the american woman's big breasts....   thus, they started out with silicon injections..

I will tell you the truth the best way that I can. I dont believe everyone is obsessed with straight hair I just believe for African Americans it is just less of a hassle to deal with straight hair as opposed to your natural texture. You can grow to love your texture but for some it's just too much of a hassle. It is a conscious choice not just something we are bullied into. If you go to Mcdonalds to eat your meal is that to say your lazy and just are too cheap to buy real food. No, it's simply that it is much easier and that is what people should realize.

Lady Esquire, Femmemuscle, e.t al.

Edited by Divavocals - September 18 2007 at 12:40pm